He was a shy colt, and she was the first filly who ever looked his way; half a lifetime later, she still haunts his dreams.
(Cover art adapted from this screenshot.)
A nice start to the story. It will be good to see a bit more backstory for Twist, she's at least a decent character in the show.
Interesting. You've got my favourite and upvote. Looking forward to seeing where this goes.
This is actually the very first piece of literature I have read involving our favorite sweet-toothed lisping filly. Onward, my friend.
I firmly believe you've struck literary gold with this one, Dusty. After the heartfelt prose and whimsy found in the various Sparkle Chronicles stories, it hardly strikes me as a surprise - you've definitely created something wonderful and deep, just as you have in the past.
I can’t wait to see where you take us next!
I know of one other recent Twist fic: A Wild Twist Appeared! There may be others, but I haven't read them.
Even at this stage in the proceedings, the feels are starting to flutter. Not full, tear-jerking feels, but I have a feeling that they'll be getting there. Carry on, my friend.
The potential FEELS levels of this fic are enormous.
I'm just hoping I don't wreck the whole thing in Chapter 3.
Incidentally, Hoopy McGee (in Project: Sunflower) originally conjured up that "Fetlock Express" bit; I hope I can be forgiven for this blatant expropriation.
I figure the last two detractors were wondering: "Does it really take two whole chapters to cover one simple date?"
Twist is my second favorite pony :3 now i must read
I love this story. Absolutely love it.
Just a niggling matter:
Twist pondered for a moment.“I haven't have any problem adjusting to the absence of chaos.”
Oh Dusty, you are an exceptional quality that I have only ever hoped to witness. I'm so very glad you actually exist.
... unless I'm abusing my medication. Sigh! Although you've artfully thrown up the complete sign, I sort of selfishly wish this could continue to its rightful end - my headcanon insists Spoke and Twist become emotionally engaged.
- JUST GO WITH IT!
Do everyone a favor - tell your legions of fans to read this beautiful story, would you? I wish I could exact that sort of justice. You can, KoS. Please?
There are times when one can't help but niggle.
One inevitable question, I suppose: "How many rewrites did it take?"
My answer is always the same: "Not quite enough."
This was planned for 6000 words, three chapters. You can see how well that worked out.
Worked for me! WOO!
Incidentally, according to the I Write Like site, this text (the first chapter, anyway) is vaguely reminiscent of Neil Gaiman.
I don't mind at all
Also, this is a very sweet, well-written story, and it's got nowhere near the attention it deserves.
A good work on a short story, see you around!
I especially liked "a hundred words a minute with gusts up to one-forty" and "they conducted their business in the tall buildings that scowled down on the streets of Baltimare."
Thanks. Once in a while I manage not to sound like everypony else.