• Published 16th Nov 2012
  • 2,222 Views, 50 Comments

The way she used to be - Dusty Sage



You never forget your first crush.

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What will be

The nights were still a bit chilly, but the winds were light and the streets were clear, so Broken Spoke decided to take a chance: “May I walk you home?”

“Always the traditionalist, I see,” Twist replied. “Even though you don’t have any idea where I live.” She peered at him from over the top of her glasses. “Uh, you don’t have any idea where I live, right?”

“Not a clue. That’s why I sent that letter to your office.” He grinned. “I’d make a really terrible stalker.”

She laughed. “You lose points for efficiency, but you score for persistence. That’s worth something.”

“Have I been that much of a bother?” he asked.

“Not tonight. You were utterly charming, every step of the way.”

“I thought I might have been out of practice.”

“I’d be suspicious of anypony who sounded like he’d been practicing all day,” said Twist. “It’s about a twenty-minute walk. This way.”

They set off down the street, the blue stallion and the ivory mare, looking for all the world like they’d always been together.

|—-|

“So,” said Twist, “what’s the first thing you’re going to do when you get back home?”

“Write a letter to Pinkie Pie, to thank her for helping to make this evening possible,” he answered. “Did I tell you we met when I was a colt? We were doing the tourist thing, and she caught us coming out of the train station, like she was the welcoming committee or something.”

“She pretty much is,” Twist said. “How is she these days?”

“Just like the rest of us. A little older, a little slower, but hanging in there.”

“Is she still the bearer of the Element of Laughter?”

“I think so. It’s been a while since I even thought about the Elements of Harmony. You think maybe we’re spoiled after all these years?”

Twist pondered for a moment. “I haven’t had any problem adjusting to the absence of chaos.”

Spoke laughed. “You win this round.”

“It’s something I learned to live with. In those days, all six of the Elements of Harmony lived in Ponyville, so we got to see them on a regular basis. Inspirations to us all, when they weren’t trying to one-up each other, and sometimes when they were.”

“Pinkie’s the only one I ever met. Then again, I was way out in Baltimare.” He shook his head. “So many things I missed, all those years.”

“Nopony can keep up with everything. It all happens too fast. I could swear I was thirty last year, or maybe the year before. Now look at me.”

He looked at her. “You don’t have to tell me twice.”

|—-|

They turned onto Haflinger Road. A couple of carriages out and about, but not much in the way of hoof traffic.

Twist glanced over at Spoke. “A bit for your thoughts?”

“They may not be worth that much,” he said.

“Try me.”

“Well, I was trying to boil it down to three words, but turns out it’s not as simple as that.”

They came to a halt. “It’s not those three words, is it?”

He nodded. “Afraid so. Something somewhere, though, is blocking me.”

Twist smiled. “If you don’t mind my playing amateur psychologist here—”

“Go right ahead.”

“What’s blocking you is your superego, which recognizes the truth of the matter.”

“Which is?”

“You’re in love. I’m convinced of that. But you’re not in love with me, really; you’re in love with the idea of me, what I represent to you. You’ve had all these years to create an image. A sort-of-pretty filly was nice to you once, and your brain took that idea and galloped off with it.”

“I never was all that interested in looks,” he said.

“That statement is almost never true. And it’s absolutely never a compliment. Think about it.”

Spoke thought about it. “I guess you’re right.”

“Like I have any business complaining about it after having my face redone,” Twist said.

“Who decided that dating and mating had to be so damned difficult, anyway?”

“I think it was inevitable. There are no perfect matches out there. Just us poor, imperfect ponies, trying to catch a little bit of happiness while we can.”

He sighed. “There are times when I think it might be too late for some of us.”

“It’s only too late,” Twist declared, “if you want it to be.”

|—-|

It was nearly midnight when they turned the corner into a cul-de-sac. “Last duplex on the left,” said Twist. “It’s small, but it’s cozy. And no, I’m not inviting you in. I have rules about that sort of thing on a first date.”

“At the moment,” Spoke replied, “I’m just happy it counted as an actual date.”

“And you may as well know this too. Three weeks ago I got unceremoniously dumped.”

“Somepony was fool enough to let you get away?”

Twist shrugged. “It’s a long story.”

“I have time.”

“I’d bet you know Mayor Treadwell.”

“Met her once at a Chamber of Commerce gathering, a couple of years ago,” said Spoke. “I wouldn’t say we’re good friends, but we’re aware of each other’s existence.”

“She’s engaged now, to Cheerful Giver, the head of United Neigh.”

“Now her, I’ve never met.”

“We took a couple of post-graduate classes together at Manehattan, and we’ve stayed close. Coltfriend of the moment was reading about the engagement party in the paper, and he grumbled about how this sort of thing was setting a bad example.”

“What? Too many taxpayer bits spent on frivolity? That’s the usual complaint we hear in Baltimare.”

“Oh, he’s fine with money being spent, as long as some of it is being spent on him.” Twist gave out with a snort. “He’s just hung up on fillyfoolers in high places.”

“And you call me a traditionalist,” Spoke said. “This stallion sounds positively prehistoric.”

Twist sighed. “And I jumped to Cheerful’s defense, as sarcastically as I could. ‘I can assure you,’ I said to him, ‘the Mayor has made a good choice. Cheerful and I go way back.’ You could see his forehead wrinkling from halfway across the room.”

“Uh-oh.”

“Indeed. He called me several unpleasant names, of which ‘fillyfooler’ was the mildest, and stormed out of the café, never to be seen again.”

“If you ask me, you’re probably better off without him.”

“Oh, undoubtedly. But it’s taking me longer than I expected to get used to being unattached again.” She winked. “Although I did keep his toothbrush. It’s really good for cleaning the inside of the toilet-bowl rim.”

Spoke laughed. “A little something to remember him by.”

“And that’s the hard part, you know? For a while, it was wonderful. And it turned horrible in just a couple of minutes one morning. You never get used to that.”

“I wish there was something I could do to help,” he said.

“Just being with me tonight helped a lot,” Twist told him. “I had a much better time than I really expected.”

“Happy to oblige.” He bowed. “We must do this again sometime.”

“Not right away,” she said. “I have to let all this sink in, and then patch up my heart one more time.”

“I have the patience of an immortal,” Spoke replied. “I just hope she doesn’t have mine.”

Twist laughed, and gave him a quick kiss. “The night after Winter Wrap-Up, there’s a reception at Town Hall. Not quite black tie, but formal-ish. Miss Twist requests the presence of Mr. Spoke. Seven-thirty.”

“I’ll be there with bells on,” he said.

“Maybe a little more … formal than that,” she teased. “See you then?”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

She gave him one last smile, and popped open the door. “Good night, and have a wonderful trip home.”

“I will,” he promised. He waited until she closed the door, then trotted back up the street. For some reason, he didn’t feel the slightest bit tired.

|—-|

The next afternoon, he went to the Post Office to drop off the letter to Pinkie Pie that he’d written on the train; in return, they gave him a week’s worth of incoming mail. When he got home, he was sorting through the stack, when he happened upon an official-looking letter in a City of Baltimare envelope. This can’t be good, he thought, and then he read:

Dear Mr. Spoke:

It’s been several days since we’ve seen you around town. Is something wrong? Please let us know what’s happened to you.

Sincerely,

Needful Way, Ph.D.

Department of Social Services

City of Baltimare

He scrawled across the bottom:

Dear Dr. Way:

Nothing whatsoever is wrong. Thank you for paying attention.

B. Spoke

And right about the time Celestia was scheduled to raise the sun, he was down at the harbor on the same old bench.

The yellow unicorn filly was right on time. “Hi!”

“Hello yourself,” said Spoke. “Could you give this to your mom for me?”

“Sure can!” She dropped it into her backpack, which was a yellowish orange, he noticed.

“Thank you,” he said. “Have a good day.”

“You too,” said the filly.

As she disappeared around the corner, Spoke thought: Someday she’ll have a Very Special Somepony. And as he started back up the hill, he realized that not once in his life had he ever said such a thing about himself.

So he said it, out loud, and he thanked Celestia for providing such a stirring background to what was going to be a beautiful morning.

Author's Note:

The usual intellectual-property disclaimers apply. Not that Hasbro is reading this, but better safe than sorry.

About the artwork: That's actually a section of a screencap from the series, greyscaled to within an inch of its life and reoriented with a few degrees less head tilt. Most of my memories from forty years ago are something like that.

Special thanks to Twifight J. Dissolute-Prereader, M.F.A., who examined the early work in progress and found it somehow acceptable.

Comments ( 31 )

Twist is my second favorite pony :3 now i must read

I love this story. Absolutely love it.

Just a niggling matter:

Twist pondered for a moment.“I haven't have any problem adjusting to the absence of chaos.”

Oh Dusty, you are an exceptional quality that I have only ever hoped to witness. I'm so very glad you actually exist.

... unless I'm abusing my medication. Sigh! Although you've artfully thrown up the complete sign, I sort of selfishly wish this could continue to its rightful end - my headcanon insists Spoke and Twist become emotionally engaged.

:pinkiehappy: - JUST GO WITH IT!

1717319

Do everyone a favor - tell your legions of fans to read this beautiful story, would you? I wish I could exact that sort of justice. You can, KoS. Please?

1718227
There are times when one can't help but niggle. :derpyderp2:

One inevitable question, I suppose: "How many rewrites did it take?"

My answer is always the same: "Not quite enough."

This was planned for 6000 words, three chapters. You can see how well that worked out.

Incidentally, according to the I Write Like site, this text (the first chapter, anyway) is vaguely reminiscent of Neil Gaiman.

1664503

Incidentally, Hoopy McGee (in Project: Sunflower) originally conjured up that "Fetlock Express" bit; I hope I can be forgiven for this blatant expropriation.

I don't mind at all :twilightsmile:

Also, this is a very sweet, well-written story, and it's got nowhere near the attention it deserves.

A good work on a short story, see you around!

2271872
Thanks. Once in a while I manage not to sound like everypony else.

I took the liberty of adding this story to a few groups I'm in. More people should read this.

2958576
Much appreciated. (And I must admit, I admire the pseudonym.)

2959541
Thank you! That puts you into the very small group of people who actually get the reference.

Congratulations, this story has good enough grammar to be included in the Good Grammar Directory, a comprehensive list of grammatically-correct stories on Fimfiction.

2960109
Thanks. I owe one to Twifight Sparkill for catching the most egregious error.

3060810
It depends on how you phrase your requests, as I found out trying to find out what happened to a grade school that got turned into a strip mall.

I think the ending is the right ending, but you'd need another 2 or 3 chapters to really show what the difference is between Broken's attitude towards Twist at the start vs. the end, and in what way Luna's advice is true. Chapters to show him trying to date her while still under his illusion, and what goes wrong as a result. Perhaps with the Luna chapter after the first date.

I admit to letting the middle of this get slightly out of hoof. As for Spoke's resentment of unicorns, it's a manifestation -- and a fairly unpleasant one -- of my particular headcanon, which holds that relationships among the three tribes aren't always the most harmonious.

That pretty much had to be the ending, though.

Finally managing to get my backlog read, I've had this on my list forever. I really liked this story, you did an excellent job with it! Really liked the overall portrayals and characterization and I think it was very well written.

3103518
Thanks. Given its slightly improbable premise -- hey, it's forty years, get over it already -- it worked out fairly well.

This is still one of the best Twist stories I've ever read, so i was happy to welcome it to the new Twist group.
i.imgur.com/RVM1x8i.png

3380323
Thanks. Oddly, I didn't originally envision this as a Twist story, but it worked out really well once I started thinking of it as such. (Which was right at the beginning of the flashback in Chapter 1. Who's a memorable filly? Twist is a memorable filly.)

Wow I just felt really great while reading this. I can't really explain it. Truthfully I never payed twist much attention, but this fic has definitely leaned my thought towards more fics of the filly. I'm very glad I gave this a chance. 7/7

Also....

“Nopony can keep up with everything. It all happens too fast. I could swear I was thirty last year, or maybe the year before. Now look at me.”
He looked at her. “You don’t have to tell me twice.”


That was smooth. Favorite lines of the story :)

3423112
I can't claim to have launched a whole flotilla of Twist fics, but there weren't a lot of them when I started this thing, and there are now. She has her advantages as a character: she's not an OC or even a blank flank, but she's been given so little time in the show that you can run just as semi-wild with her. And once I decided that she would be the object of my protagonist's affections -- well, you saw the results. Heck, were I a pony, I'd date a mare like that. (Assuming she were interested, which is probably more than I should assume.)

3423443
Well from the small personality we do know, she'd give you a chance. She seems to be one to make friends and have the urge to want to be noticed. :)

Oh, please. We all know that Twist's type all end up popping out, like, 12 babies once they hit puberty, at least one of which is pre-18. :raritywink:

This is one of the greatest things I've ever read. Perfect tempo the entire way; it caused me to be 30 minutes late on a notification for work because I was so enraptured with the story. For someone who's very sensitive to just about all of the elements of a good story, this hit all of them phenomenally.

I wish I had a childhood crush like this, but I must confess that any idea I may have had of finding someone that had impressed upon me the hope of a future in the way that Twist did in this story after such a short encounter died quite a while back when I realized that no one feels romanticism in quite the same way as we like to think it feels. Either that, or everyone thinks that romanticism applies to every bad decision they've ever made to date someone. :pinkiesick:

I don't know if almost half of my current life is long enough to wait before hoping a girl I had a crush on as a young adolescent boy will find the same esteemed values in me now that she did then, or, dare I hope, find more to appreciate about me, but I'm rolling the dice with the only sister of a very good friend of mine. My only hope is that she doesn't have a distorted view of who I am; she's had about 10 years to figure it out, and I sincerely hope that she's not just interested in me because she needs to date someone incessantly.

In short, I hope that my story ends as positively as this one, albeit half a lifetime earlier.

4148053
"Rolling the dice" seems appropriate: it's always the chance you have to take. (If you don't, you'll berate yourself for what seems like an eternity.) This isn't my life story, exactly, though someone who knows me read this and said "Yeah, you'd do something like that."

Spiritual guidance, though no actual story guidance, was provided by Jackie DeShannon, right about here. When that came out I was ten, and, as the phrase goes, Highly Impressionable.

4148053

I'm rolling the dice with the only sister of a very good friend of mine.

That wouldn't happen to be a certain someone who just set up an account here, would it? :ajsmug:

Nice ending. It really feels he is a nice, clueless guy who just had no idea how to pick up signs. Even at the very end he is very earnest, but you can tell she has to guide him along to prevent him from spoiling the whole thing.

5373049
When opportunity knocks, you'd best be paying attention to the door. :twistnerd:

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