Twilight's spell to return Dashie and her friends back to Equestria failed! Now Rarity is lost and alone in the human world. She worries about her friends, not knowing if they made it back to Equestria or not. But first she must fend for herself in the human world, lucky for her she finds a human friend to protect her. the story takes place from rarity's human friend's perspective. Rarity makes a huge impact on the life of her human friend, but will she make it back to Equestria?
You could say this story takes place in the same "Universe" as "My Little Dashie."
The ponies seemingly teleported back to Equestria at the end of My Little Dashie, but what if the spell actually failed, and the ponies were merely sent elsewhere in the human world?
Hoping to make a story like this for each of the mane six
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Cover image is by Kawiko:
http://browse.deviantart.com/?q=rarity&order=9&offset=144#/d4kd28c
Hi everyone. Feedback is appreciated! What do you think of the last section "Three months later."
I feel like it's important to wrap up the story, but it also feels a little out of place, what's your opinion?
Just like my version of Fluttershy.. Nice...
Wow, that was a nice and heartwarming story. I quite enjoyed it.
The last section is kinda like an epilogue, no?
Anyway, youre story is quite well writtem, and I enjoyed reading it. I do have a question though. Well, a few questions actually.
1. Is this story based from My little Dashie, as in, they came to Equestria to find her?
2. Are you going to be writing tthings like this for the other characters? E.g, Fluttershy ends up somewhere like an animal shelter, and meets a nice, animal loving person.
Thats about all. On a side note, if you ever need someone to pre-read your story to check for grammatical errors/plot holes, don't be afraid to hit me up: taranasaurus0.0@gmail.com
Have a nice day now
Sweet. I was just thinking a few days ago about how Rarity would react to being on Earth (since usually it's RD, Pinkie, or Twilight from what I've seen). And THE FANDOM DELIVERS! I'll be readin' dis.
Loved it.
This was great and I enjoyed reading it.
I also loved the idea of this being a sort of side-story to My Little Dashie.
5/5
Also, the ending basically acted as an epilogue. It's always nice to know how the protagonist is doing after the main events of the story.
There, done now. Very nicely done!
A few grammar issues, but nothing that robbed me of my enjoyment.
So again, a big round of applause for a story well written. : )
Oh, and regarding the 'three months later' portion-- I think it was a necessary addition and doesn't feel out of place. If you're worried about it, I would cut it off chapter 3 and give it its own place as epilogue.
That might require tagging a bit more onto the end to give the reader a sense of closure independent of the epilogue, but would allow you to move the non-Rarity-related bit into a position that doesn't make it feel like you're changing things up mid-narrative.
I really enjoyed this story. It was sweet. I think you wrote Rarity's character very well.
I will admit however, that I somehow didn't quite care for the 'three months later' part. I guess I was hoping for a way where the human character and Rarity could be together. I was kinda hoping for Princess Luna to turn him into a pony and reunite the two in Equestria (or at least offer him the opportunity). Oh well. Still good.
romance tag? oh goodness...
She was really very heavy, and I was barely able to get her up.
Oh yeah, I mean the lightest (normal) Pony race weighs about 180 lbs... and I think that the ponies out of Equestria weigh even more ;D
26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lv18g8fHOv1r5zg20o1_500.png quite uncomfortable, huh?
Huh. Enjoyable read! Some of the dialogue felt a bit awkward at times, but otherwise a great story. Since your character (I'm assuming it's a self-insertion) seems to live in the country, I'd almost expect him to have a bit of a hick accent, or at least not talk quite as well-to-do as Rarity. Again, great read and a great idea stemming from My Little Dashie... Wonder if anyone has done the rest of the Mane 6; or are you planning to do it?
114353
The answer to both of your questions is yes.
114419
Thanks!
114636
I don't know if anyone's done this for the other ponies, but I'm planning to write them.
ragecomics.memebase.com/wp-content/themes/vip/cheezcommon2/ragecomic/packs/happy/images/SoMuchWin.png
This story is amazing and you deserve both more views and more comments. Speaking of comments, have one!
114600 Oh damn it. That was what I was going to vector next as practice, though I see it's already been done now.
nice... lol rarity fixed his life...
If I find this story to be completed, I will be very upset with you Mr. Author. The human must go to Equestria and surprise rarity at once.
Found a mistake:
"I opened this one and chose jeans and a T-shit."
I don't know if this is intentional or what, but I just wanted to tell you about it.
I see it's completed. I take it that means you are either working on or have already made a sequel? Good.
From your description: "Rarity makes a huge impact on the life of her human friend, and finally makes it back to Equestria."
Um, why would you put a huge spoiler like that there? It basically ruins the whole story; you already know how it ends. There's no need to read it if you know the ending. I basically got the gist of the whole plot in 10 seconds.
115145 I couldn't agree more.
Here, have another
-Glassed
I cried SOOO much
I love this I hope the human goes to Equestria and you also never said the human's name either that or i didn't pay attention to the name
... asome...
Rarity is best pony
Nice ending!
Thanks for not having the human sit around and wallow in self pity.
Because that's how too many of these end.
beautiful! magnifique
very well done! a beautiful story, almost on the same level as 'My Little Dashie', imho.
I'm going to read this
I read the story on DevianArt first, and I thought it was good but with a sad ending,
That last chapter makes it a little better. The time with Rarity really hlps him to change his life for the better.
Great Story.
Technically it's "Rarity and Me." I know, we're taught the opposite all through our lives, but "Rarity and Me" is actually correct. Weird, right?
Extremely well done and thought out, or maybe it was just luck, I dunno lol. Point is, you`re great at this kind of thing and it was a joy to read.
This is good, man. Oh yeah I just want to point out; not that I think you didn't notice by now, I simply got to say it for myself, and I quote: "I opened this one and chose jeans and a T-shit." That was one of the best typos I've ever seen
, and I mean that in a good way.
seems fun y not :D tracking
Read the whole thing. I was a little worried about reading "my little dashie" clones, but after reading your work I don't think the idea is frightening any more. You said you were going to try this with all the ponies? I wish you the best of luck. If you look around almost every pony has met with a human and had a wonderful adventure. Its not impossible but delicate.
Good luck!
115306 The name was never said. It's a great technique writers use that leaves the characters' names open to interpretation. It can also be used so that the reader can substitute their own name in.
Great story. I hope you do continue this with the other ponies. Maybe add in a few surprises as well, so that they're not all about a human meeting a pony, pony lives with human, pony must leave, human gets sad. Maybe a human or two gets to, ah, stow away?
Awww man... I was REALLY hoping the narrator and Rarity would be able to be together somehow in the end. Chastiy is a decent stand-in, but if I was in his stead, she would be just that: a stand-in for the woman/mare he loves. I know there would be no plausible way to make what I want work without complete ass-pullery, but I still in my heart want it.
I would also like to say that even three months ago, well into my tenure of being a brony, I would laugh at people like me for being this attached to a human/pony pairing. Wow, fandom really changes you, lol.
What a sweet story! I think it's quite lovely, and very true to form for Rarity, that she can make a person start caring about himself again just by being in his life. The narrator's progression and growth is very well written. Well done.
Though I'm not a rarity fan kind of guy but this story ROCKS, you did ever thing to make me say D'AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW and
well sir you just got a comment and 5 stars
115261 its not just about the destination its also about the journey
... XD Okay, this is amusing enough to keep reading! Never read My Little Dashie because I've been told it's a sad fic, but this is interesting, so... I'ma gonna keep reading. Thanks!
~ Moonstone, Minstrel of Equestria
aww this is such a sweet story
GA-HAH! *Imitates Link's annoyed look/sound from OoT*
Awesome story! But there's one moar chapter? Here's to hoping something epic happens!
~ Moonstone, Minstrel of Equestria
115251 At least, he is if he knows what's good for him...
Disappoint us, and you'll find out that I AM Magical Trevor, and you'll see just how much magic I've got...
~ Moonstone, Minstrel of Equestria
p.s. I'm serial. There had better be more in some way, shape or form, or I will make your internet life hell... You don't go
... NVM. I missed the 'Sad' tag before, so all is forgiven... Relatively, anyways. I still hate you! So what if there's a relatively happy ending for the human?! He's still got to WORK for it! What about poor Rares?! HUH?! RARES is stuff at home all alone again! So what if it's paradise?! It's not paradise if you're alone, ESPECIALLY when you're in love! If ANYTHING else, SHE deserves a happy ending! *Pouts*
p.p.s. Okay, I'm done ranting now. Serial, GREAT fic. I hate sad fics, but since I missed that tag, I can't blame you... Still, do you have plans for a sequel fop her, or JUST for the other characters? I'm not sure I can take reading another story that's just going to end like this one...
I'll be honest, it's not as good as My Little Dashie, but it's all right.
This is good, like I'm all solemn now. Usually I would be all gushing and bouncing off the walls, but this... I mean that would just be inappropriate and wouldn't do this any justice whatsoever. You have something truly touching and somewhat relate-able in my case, cause your main character's attitude as far as ambition and drive match mine to a tee. It kinda makes me think a bit, you... this has actually gotten through to me a bit; wow I'm rarely this clear minded and calm. I'm also interested to see how this would work with the rest of the mane6 particularly Applejack, not sure why but I'm sure that would be interesting. Maybe somehow there could even be one with Derpy, not as a request just a thought to nibble. I guess I shouldn't say this before reading the epilogue, but for me these thoughts can be there one second and gone the next.
P.S. I like how you showed restraint in the sense that you kept intimacy and (for lack of a better word) platonicness in perfect balance, Death the Kid would be proud.
This story rocks. Nice job Mr.Author.
116408 nice to know I'm not the only one burning the midnight oil to read this wonderful tale, I solute you fellow nocturnal brony.
115248
Oh yeah... The author should proofread. Definitely. Especially that sentence, and even more especially the end of that sentence.