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A young human child wakes up in the dragon lands as a dragon, following some unforeseen events he ends up in Equestria with his new dragon friend of the same age. Follow his insane journey as he tries to make sense of it all and the ponies try to make sense of him. Eventually a certain goddess discovers his strange actions and ideas have something in common with a certain bearded wizard of the past.
Editors: skultech, Albert Manhattan
Fully Edited as of 8/8/14
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Hm.
HiE... but turns into a dragon instead of a pony?
ponysquare.com/file/pic/photo/2012/04/9a9e64b60a80fa9b6e3e3a51ac5aee4c_500.gif
Human still plays a big role in the story later on.
The title should be "A Dragon's Wake"
Now this is an interesting story.
I can't wait for the next chapters.
Ohhh its coming. I just need to finish editing it. 1628619
makes me think of my character is AdventureQuest [Although in that online game My character is a human who can take a Half-dragon form due to him him being a Dracomancer [A class achieved due to unity with dragons]
Ah no TV and videogames I’ve been there.
He has been through denial
Now he reaches anger
Next is Bargaining
Then depression
And finally acceptance.
HA! 1636436
1636436 The stuff you're saying there reminds me of religion lessons.
Hm I like it how the first meeting between dragon and pony was made, I just kept wondering how you would do it.
You are very good at portraying a small child that loses all of it's entertainment and of course gets drunk.
I am certainly going to keep reading this story.
1637046
Actually it’s not really religion it’s something called 'Kübler-Ross model' aka the five stages of grief.
I just found it funny because i went through the same thing basicly when i had to go without tv internet and videogames for 8 months a few years ago.
1637113 No I meant I had lessons about it in my religion lessons. And damn that musta been hard on you.
1637131
Ah right my bad.
and It wasn’t that bad looking back, reached stage five by the end of the second month and by then my uncle had 'introduced' me to a decent replacement, namely clay pigeon shooting and swimming.
I love this story, but this chapter seems to me a bit rushed. Mainly because it's way shorter than your other chapters.
I dunno why it's shorter, but please don't make them shorter just to post something. I like to wait a bit more for sonething good than get something bad everyday.
Other than that keep up the good work.
I know its shorter but to be honest the ship scene was not going to go much of anywhere. I wanted it out of the way so they can ( without spoiling things) get to Equestria already, those scenes I will have a lot more to deal with and can make them 5k chapters. On the ship it was much more difficult and it would have just been worthless filler. 1643294
1644960 I figured that was the reason. Didn't feel like there was much more except some akward scenes.
Btw I will be slowing down with this story a bit, but I do need an editor. Any takers?
So what changed with the light edit of the first chapter?
Also I wouldn't mind checking your stories for grammar errors.
Minor stuff, it wasn't a huge change. And fill free to check for grammar errors if you wish to, but typically my editor will catch them since i tend not to leave too many mistakes. 1686094
True, Spyro had never really called Twilight mother You mean spike right?
by royal degree they will be living with one of from now on. You forgot you after one of.
isin't Wrongly spelled it's isn't
warrnted I don't even know what to say about this one
If you want to know where the mistakes are located just use ctrl+F
Dragon's = something owned by this dragon
Dragons = multiple dragons
I would like this fixed
Couple of thing
1)I noticed a missing work here or there but nothing too bad.
2)They’re going to wipe his memory, with possible mental age regression Ouch (which would mean it does affect personality). I’ll be looking forward to see how that pans out.
My guess is, one or more of these.
Celestia tells the elements and they aren’t for it.
They tell Spyro about what they intend to do and he freaks out.
They try the spell with or without telling him and it doesn’t work because, dragons or something like that.
Grammar fixes will come, but keep in mind I have no editor for this story what so ever.
I was very careful to point out that it might cause mental regression and affect personality... MIGHT hehe 1744836
So when is the next chapter going to be?
Also do you still have no editor for this story?
I still have no editor, and sort of out of ideas and have yet to write the latest chapter yet... did you all really think this one was that creative?
1809744 Actually yes. This is the first of it's kind that I have read.
Although the thing with the memory. meh
Bit farfetched if you ask me.
Also I could be your editor for this story if you like.
Okay you are now the editor, and which memory thing? Reading his and just having Tia figure it all out at once? 1809941
1810061 No I'm talking about the memory erasing thing. I find it a bit weird that he would grow insane with his past knowledge.
Has nothing to do with knowledge, just the brain accepting his new reality as well real. Maybe I can rewrite all of that and have the spell only change some things, that way he can still be a weird dragon oddity with sarcastic remarks? I always wanted to write a story like that just being nonchalant to everyone in Ponyville only kids usually don't do that but then again I have never meet any kids that grew up in an orphanage so maybe? 1810105
Cold Spike and I agreed that a succesful erase spell would have taken the entire shtick of the story away.
So I just said MAKE THE SPELL MISFIRE!!!!!!!!!
And here is his glorious result with of course one heck of a cliffhanger.
I usually do not do cliffhangers cause in other stories they get me angry... but now I see they are fun
1831823
It sounds to me like they're about to take a vacation in Spyro's memories.
Actually... no. But that does give me a good idea, remind me to give you credit if I end up using it
1831849
1831884 kk. That leaves my other guess; Locked in a realm of darkness until the necessary prerequisites are met.
Darkness is only a light theme in the whole story, so I'm afraid not. But you will like what happens. 1831940
1831953 Ok, now I'm quaking in anticipation... or maybe it's nervousness. I can't seem to find my kitten, Milly. Mom let her escape her room and she's nowhere to be found!
Oh no the dreaded cliff-hanger but I’m glad you didn’t put this on hiatus.
On another note the Kid sure was quick to agree to ‘drink the brain bleach’. But seeing as wiping his mind would pretty much end the story it was going to fail but I wonder where you will take this.
Well to him it is still kind of a dream in a way even if Claws tried to convince him that its not. Plus he is supposed to be more of a reasoning child first and do things on the fly, so being told that you might go insane is something he would listen to. If that makes sense? 1835023
1835875
There are holes I could poke it that but like I said I’m looking forward to seeing where it’s going.
Actually I would appreciate any holes being posted, I won't be offended. It helps me be a better writer + I can fix them. 1836014
1836348
It’s really a show and don’t tell thing rather than a hole. ‘It mightn’t be because you wanted to get to the interactions as fast as possible but I won’t speculate.’
simply put Instead of saying he is a reasoning child; show him at one point trying to reason the problem away ‘giving us a glimpse into how his thought process works’ instead of just asserting it’s there.
At the moment to me he seems quick to take Celestia’s word because you don’t show what reasoning lead him up to accsepting her word or even why he would believe her in the first place. Instead of just having Celestia say ‘you will go insane later’ and him believing her, you could show him struggling with physically being a dragon a bit more. Or just the whole dreams don’t work like this but I can’t really be a dragon delusional loop he would develop While he was stuck on the ship for ‘two weeks’ and had nothing but time to think about it. It would help a bit with the credibility and give more characterisation. ‘Just be sure to keep it sublet’
-Maybe while on the ship, claws could walk in on Spyro trying to wake himself up even if Spyro is just sat on the bed slapping himself across the face or he could pull out a scale 'very painful according to fanon’. Or he could question Claws whether he would know if he was imaginary It would also be consistent with and help solidify Calws view of him being weird
Then ‘Spyro’ would get confused about how you’re not supposed to feel pain in a dream, or how time doesn’t drag. or how you dont sleep in dreams. But the fact you can only remember about 1% of a dream after waking up could be the justification to want to ignore it. That or the fact he just can’t get his head around being a dragon could convince him he is dreaming but still allow a lingering doubt in his mind, The fact he asked if the spell will hurt could be a product of this.
At some point he could just get frustrated and try and keep his mind off of it by talking with Claws about random stuff from home again helping give even more reason for claws to think he is weird.
Then when he gets to Celestia and she has an explanation for why he can’t make sense of this and that it will only get worse he would be more justified in saying ‘bottoms up’ in my opinion anyway.
One more note if they do end up going for a romp in his mind ‘just for possible inspiration.’
‘Don’t worry (insert name of random child) the monsters are all in your head…’
(If I ended up in my own head I for one would keep looking over my shoulder for some of the crap that haunted me as a kid ‘dam relatives letting me watch horror movies at 4’) plus it would be funny having Twilight rack her brain trying to figure out why people scare themselves shitless with horror movies.
I might go through the child's mind but only briefly.. probably something random lol. As for all of that did you ever stop to think that maybe Spyro has no intention of 'waking up'? It is real but like all children we often place our fears in the back of our heads, in his case he has no want to return to the world of Earth and the crappy orphanage. I could show more scenes in the future with his reasoning skills however, it is a good idea. If this was a non brony adult, sure try to wake up from the dream, but this is a child and he is not only going along for the ride but he never wants the ride to end :)
As for accepting her, I guess I could of had a thought process for Spyro right before he nods.... maybe I will add that later. But to me a lot of those only seem like weak points in a story IF the character was a fully reasoning adult. Don't you think? 1838555
1838615
Fair enough, I know you know his motivations but the point is touching on them and then ‘showing them rather than telling’.
The examples where just there to show how it mightn’t work based on one thought process that’s not necessarily his, that and I was just throwing crap at the wall to see what sticks’.
Faiiiiiiiiiiiiir enough. In this story I like to experiment a bit here and there. So maybe in the next chapter I will show more of his thoughts and ideas, I planned on doing that after all once we get the Canterlot scenes out of the way and finally go to Ponyville. 1841242
good chapter
Looking into some of the games,movies,music from earth has alot of potential for laughts especially because some games would scar the ponies for life,I allso like how pinkie gets to look after the 'human' thats a rare thing in HIE, quite refreshing actually.
I thought so hehe. Giving Pinkie a chance.... Let's see what happens. 1872706
I love this story.It's interesting as either an H.I.E. or a story on dragon theory.I can't wait to read more.Also I've noticed that this story is really good in grammar,punctuation,and diction.It's really well done and I can easily understand it.As a result it's read rather fast so I can't wait until another update.
Good luck with your other story as well :)
THANK YOU! I try, plus I have a neat editor
1917233