Shock n' Awe
April 16th, 2012
*BANG*
I brought my hand up to the side of my head to make sure everything was still alright. When I made contact, I noticed my ear was fairly wet. I brought my hand back down to look at it and recoiled in shock. “Jesus fucking Christ! God dammit. GAAAAAH!”
“Ah’m sorry! I didn’t mean to, Ah jus-”
I cut her off before she could finish. “SHUT UP! Find a towel or somethin’. Shiiiit. God. Fuck, this hurts! You shot my ear!” She immediately bolted toward the pickup. Looking back, this was probably not the best course of action. Taking a girl who had once been a pony out shooting had ‘bad idea’ written all over it, wearing a large neon sign screaming ‘Don’t do that you retard.’ But being the idiot I am, I did it anyway, for the sake of fun. “You shot my ear!”
Applejack came running back to me from the truck. “There ain’t no towels or nothin’ in there!”
I took my shirt off and screamed as it rubbed against what was left of my ear, balled it up and pressed it to the side of my head. ‘“You’re fired,” I said through my teeth. “Where’s the gun?”
“Right here,” she said as she stooped over to pick it up off the ground.
I ripped the gun from her grasp, cleared the chamber and ejected the magazine, immediately stuffed it into my pocket. “I should shoot your ear just to get even, y’know that? God dammit. Owww.”
“Ah said Ah’m sorry! Ah didn’t think Ah was gonna end up shootin’ off your ear!”
“Yeah, I know,” I said as I started walking back to the truck. The second I got to the drivers side door, I immediately looked in the sideview mirror to assess the damage. The bullet had taken off about a third of my left ear from the bottom, I also couldn’t hear out of that ear all too well at the moment save for the persistent ringing. “Well, shit.”
“You gonna be alright?” Applejack asked, concerned.
“Yeah, won’t be able to hear for a while though. Rule number one: never point a gun at somebody, unless you intend to shoot them.” AJ solemnly nodded silently. “C’mon, lets head back to the house, it’s startin’ to get late.” I opened the door and got in, waiting for Applejack, who just stood there, looking at the dirt. I rolled the window down and addressed her. “You comin’ or what?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah.” She walked over to her side and opened the door, crawling up into her spot. She still looked pretty upset with the whole situation.
“Hey, don’t worry about it alright? Shit happens.” I put my hand on her shoulder in an attempt to reassure her. “It’s my fault anyway for not telling you sooner.” She looked back at me with the same glum expression from earlier. “Chin up lass, I ain’t dead,” I said with a smile as I started the engine.
During the entire drive back to the house, Applejack remained silent, occasionally sneaking glances at me to make sure I was doing alright. It didn’t bother me too much that she was feeling remorseful, it’s just that she didn’t seem to get the gist of ‘I’ll be fine, don’t worry’.
So aside from a rambunctious dog going absolutely apeshit when we arrived back at the house, things had gone back to what could be considered ‘normal’. I got Applejack tucked in for the night and made sure that if she needed anything, I was within hollering distance, then went downstairs to my den, crawled into the sack and passed out without bothering to properly bandage my ear or even so much as remove my boots.
~
Once again, the day progressed rather slowly and uneventfully. I got up, got some food for Applejack, watched a bit of T.V., and contemplated my next move in this big chess game I was playing. It seemed every move I had been making to metaphorically advance myself ended up in my losing of a good piece... like my ear.
So I had decided to play it safe and do a bit more ‘investigating’ as to the whereabouts of any other ponies. Like last time, I booted up my shitty laptop, logged into FimFiction and immediately went to the IRC. Right from the get go, things were, for lack of a better word, odd.
[19:08] <B3stpone> discord best pony!?
[19:08] <jimjimmyjim> Screw yuo mate! Applejack is clearly best pony!
[19:08] <jimjimmyjim> *you
[19:08] <Schmoozy> banana iz best pony!
[19:08] <DragonLS> A banana isn’t a pony, dude...
[19:08] <Schmoozy> shuz up you banana1
[19:09] <DragonLS> Don’t make me link you to that “TO THE MOOOOON” video...
[19:09] <Schmoozy> moon doesn’t exist
[19:09] <HAL3ST0RM> eed editor pl0x
[19:09] <FurryMongolian> Nanners ain’t ponies tardmuffin.
Ah yes, the wonderfully tolerant and loving bronies, with their colorful vocabulary and constant agreement on simple topics.
[19:09] <Cowboy Appledash> Dafuq is goin’ on in here?
[19:09] <HAL3ST0RM> any takers?
[19:09] <Cowboy Appledash> Best pony argument aside... Although it’s actually Spitfire.
That right there is a tried and proven fact. Applejack is awesome and all, but nopony is better than Spitfire. But in order to not waste too much time, I decided to cut to the chase.
[19:10] <DragonLS> Why does this remind me of deja vu...?
[19:10] <Cowboy Appledash> Who remembers that weird shit that went down the other day?
[19:10] <FurryMongolian> I heard about a bunch of people goin’ nutty about fudge or something, why?
[19:10] <jimjimmyjim> Yeah some guys were talking about finding ponies irl.
[19:10] <DragonLS> Fudge? Could you be more specific, Furry? And Jim, who mentioned this?
[19:10] <FurryMongolian> i dont know some guys were doing what jim said and claimed to have smelled fudge saw flashing skies and found humanized ponies
Good start... I had expected a different response.
[19:11] <DragonLS> Humanized... ponies, huh...
[19:11] <Cowboy Appledash> Who was saying this? Can ya’ll remember any names?
[19:11] <FurryMongolian> Not really I remember one of the names sounded like metalpony or whatever
[19:11] <Cowboy Appledash> Well that’s certainly helpful... -.-
[19:12] <DragonLS> That doesn’t help me at all, actually...
[19:12] <FurryMongolian> thats all I can remember :/
[19:12] <DragonLS> Well, it’s not like we’ll meet an owner of a humanized pony in this very IRC chat.
[19:12] <Cowboy Appledash> What makes you say that?
[19:12] <DragonLS> Too low chance for it to happen, especially since we’re dealing with some crappy rumors, and magic that doesn’t even exist.
[19:13] <Schmoozy> people that think they found ponies are obviously high or something
[19:13] <Cowboy Appledash> I dunno dude, it’s certainly possible.
[19:14] <Schmoozy> if your tripping on shrooms maybe
[19:14] <DragonLS> Hmmm...
[19:14] <Cowboy Appledash> I’m thinkin’ I should just keep my mouth shut about this then.
Ok, nevermind. Scratch that last bit. This is exactly what I expected.
[19:14] <Schmoozy> last thing we need is crazy rednecks in the fandom
Schmoozy, target number twenty-three on the list of people to bludgeon with a taxidermied carp until they’re fluent in Arabic sign language.
[19:15] <DragonLS> Racist, much?
[19:15] <Cowboy Appledash> Meh, some punkass kid an’ his words don’t faze me Dragon.
[19:15] <FurryMongolian> humanized ponies, social tension and accusations. OH MY!
[19:15] <DragonLS> Celestia would frown from all this chaos, I’m sure...
[19:15] <Cowboy Appledash> Yeah, probably. She’d be sendin’ people to the moon left an right. XD
[19:15] <DragonLS> Especially if she actually came to this world...
Thus, the proverbial Neon Sign of ‘I Might Be Hiding Something...’
[19:15] <Cowboy Appledash> … What are you gettin’ at Dragon?
[19:16] <DragonLS> Hm?
[19:16] <Schmoozy> i think your both being idiots
Schmoozy, upgraded himself from beating with a taxidermied carp to a generous beating with a decaying Tiger Musky.
[19:16] <Cowboy Appledash> And you’re being a twat, so piss off.
[19:16] <DragonLS> I think we should all calm down...
[19:16] <Cowboy Appledash> Punkass deserves it, he ain’t keepin’ his trap shut ‘bout stuff he don’t know about.
[19:17] <Cowboy Appledash> Know what? Screw it, I’ll go find help elsewhere...
[19:17] <DragonLS> Help? What kind of help?
[19:17] <Cowboy Appledash> The kind that involves exactly what we’re talking about.
[19:18] <Schmoozy> Whatever, I’m out of here.
**Schmoozy has quit**
[19:18] <FurryMongolian> you’re not actually buying into this are you cowboy?
[19:18] <DragonLS> .. .
[19:18] <Cowboy Appledash> Hey Dragon, I’ll just query you alright?
Too much shit to deal with skeptics, may as well confront the only other one in here on the same page as me...
[19:18] <DragonLS> Sure, this public chat is getting tiring anyway...
I clicked on Dragon’s name and selected the query option, opening up a chat with him.
[19:18] <Cowboy Appledash> Oi!
[19:19] <DragonLS> Hey thar.
[19:19] <Cowboy Appledash> So you were sayin’ somethin’ about Celestia or whatever?
[19:19] <DragonLS> Just predicting things on how she’d react if she ever discovered the internet.
[19:19] <Cowboy Appledash> Like...
[19:20] <Cowboy Appledash> Flipping her lid?
[19:20] <DragonLS> Judging by her personality... pretty sure she’d do more than that. But then again, if she ever actually came to this world, I think curiosity would fill her brain more than anything.
[19:20] <Cowboy Appledash> Dude, if you found a pony, just come out with it already. I done played through this shenanigan with Silverness already.
Games waste time. Cut to the chase, spill the beans. Let the cat out of the bag!
[19:20] <Cowboy Appledash> If you decked her like he did, I’ll have to hospitalize you as well.
[19:20] <DragonLS> Now what makes you think I have a pony?
[19:20] <Cowboy Appledash> Because the chances of you randomly speculating this for no reason is pretty much zero. That’s why.
Behold, my infallible hillbilly logic!
[19:21] <DragonLS> I could be speculating it out of boredom or no reason. You know how random the chat is.
[19:21] <Cowboy Appledash> Well yeah but still. They were talking about how some people claimed to have found ponies an stuff, you’re inquiring about a humanized princess pony on earth and her reactions to certain things.
[19:22] <Cowboy Appledash> That doesn’t exactly scream ‘nothing weird is going on I swear’. So out with it.
This kid was about two steps from giving me a coronary already. And He was still adamant in his stance.
[19:22] <DragonLS> Well now... guess my hints were a little too strong. Quickly: Which pony do you have?
[19:22] <Cowboy Appledash> Applejack.
[19:22] <DragonLS> And she appeared, how?
[19:23] <Cowboy Appledash> Bare naked in a cornfield. Smelled fudge, flashing pink skies an’ shit. Went to see if there wasn’t some weird fertilizer bein’ used lately an’ there she was in all her naked glory.
[19:23] <Cowboy Appledash> You?
As they say, lead by example...
[19:05] <DragonLS> ...and what you’re telling me is the 100% truth?
[19:23] <Cowboy Appledash> Yeah, now you best get talkin’ somethin’ ricky tick!
[19:23] <DragonLS> I suggest you hold your horses, you’re getting riled up...
[19:23] <Cowboy Appledash> Damn straight I am. I ain’t playin’ no games here. Applejack is here, I’ve found out that Rainbow Dash is here as well. So now I needs to find all the others.
[19:24] <Cowboy Appledash> Plain an’ simple.
I really wished I was receiving a frontal lobotomy right about then.
[19:24] <DragonLS> You’re quick to trust when certain topics arise, aren’t you? Being open about it while I didn’t reveal that much is a risky maneuver.
[19:24] <DragonLS> A lot of people can react pretty negatively to it, and will think you’re a weirdo.
[19:24] <Cowboy Appledash> That doesn’t exactly matter much to me. If people think I’m a nut, cool, I don’t give a damn. At this point, all that matters is getting these ponies gone human back together.
[19:25] <Cowboy Appledash> Last thing they need is to be here on this hell hole of a planet.
[19:25] <DragonLS> Alright... let me ask you something that I doubt the public knows about... Did Applejack tell you what happened that could have brought her here?
[19:25] <Cowboy Appledash> Some stuff went down involving her, the others, the princesses an Discord.
[19:25] <Cowboy Appledash> Happy?
I couldn’t contain myself any longer. I rammed my head onto my desk repeatedly to relieve the stress of getting this guy to talk. By the time I looked back up, I saw he had finally relented... all it took was some self mutilation to do the trick, apparently.
[19:26] <DragonLS> Hmm... brief, but it’s the gist of it.
[19:26] <DragonLS> Alright, I’m satisfied. Yes, I have a humanized pony.
[19:26] <Cowboy Appledash> Name?
[19:26] <DragonLS> With all the hints I gave out, isn’t it obvious? Celestia.
[19:26] <Cowboy Appledash> I needed to be sure. So you do have her. News of any others?
[19:26] <DragonLS> Before that... You mentioned someone named Silverness. Another pony owner?
[19:27] <Cowboy Appledash> Yeah, I found him in an IRC an he’s got Dash. I’ve got his cell number too.
[19:27] <DragonLS> Hooboy... Rainbow Dash. I feel sorry for him. She can’t be taking this world well.
Small talk instead of brass tacks... This dude must be a politician.
[19:27] <Cowboy Appledash> Why?
[19:27] <DragonLS> Well, you know her tomboyish attitude and the way she reacts to the unexpected.
[19:27] <Cowboy Appledash> Is totally hot. But that doesn’t make it out to be bad for him. I’m jealous.
I plead the fifth!
[19:27] <DragonLS> You have Applejack and you’re jealous?
[19:27] <Cowboy Appledash> Dude, it’s Rainbow Dash, that’s almost as awesome as finding Spitfire, legs spread an ready on your bed when you get home.
[19:27] <DragonLS> First off... that’s creepy. Second, let’s not go fanboy mode here.
[19:27] <Cowboy Appledash> I’m talking humanized Spitfire dude, not full on pony.
[19:28] <Cowboy Appledash> Pervert.
Damn cloppers, always thinkin’ things are ponies.
[19:28] <DragonLS> Says the one who mentioned Spitfire in the first place...
Touche Doctor proctor... touche I thought to myself as I mulled over his response.
[19:28] <Cowboy Appledash> Whatever... Anyway, I’m gonna need a way to get a hold of you if I find anything out.
[19:28] <DragonLS> You can contact me by e-mail, since it’s what I check the most these days. One sec.
[19:29] <Cowboy Appledash> Ok.
[19:05] <DragonLS> It’s MidnightSkull_Dragon@wahoo.com, what’s yours?
[19:29] <Cowboy Appledash> rainbowswagpony@qmail.com an’ here’s my cell number (555) 276-1565
[19:30] <DragonLS> I’ll be sure to write this stuff down... anyway, do you still have time to talk?
[19:30] <Cowboy Appledash> Yeah, I do.
[19:30] <DragonLS> Alright, good, um...
[19:30] <DragonLS> First of all, how is Applejack taking all this?
Thus, the tables have been turned...
[19:30] <Cowboy Appledash> Well, she went bonkers earlier, nothin’ too serious though.
[19:31] <DragonLS> I see. Celestia was unconscious when I brought her into one of my spare beds, but she gave me quite a start when she suddenly grabbed my arm, with those glaring piercing eyes of hers. It’s like she was faking her sleep. Scared the crap out of me.
There’s the kicker! He’s gay!
[19:31] <Cowboy Appledash> Scared of scantily clad women are we?
[19:31] <DragonLS> Now you’re sounding like Melissa. Ffs, what is with everyone and her damn breasts!?
[19:31] <Cowboy Appledash> Who whoa whoa, hold the phone. Are you saying the old ass princess has giant knockers? HA!
Now to play my favorite game of all. Weird out the perv to find incriminating details...
[19:31] <DragonLS> ...I’ll only say for a 1000 year old Princess, she looks more into her 30s than anything. I make no comment about her breasts.
[19:32] <Cowboy Appledash> Haha, right on.
I see your apathetic response, and raise you, a boner-maker! God I love my internal dialogue at times.
[19:32] <Cowboy Appledash> Honestly dude, Applejack’s body is bangin’. If she weren’t a former pony, I’d ravage that broad.
[19:32] <DragonLS> Can we keep it in our pants for this dire moment? Please? You’re beginning to annoy me. D:
Plot Twist! Act innocent.
[19:32] <Cowboy Appledash> Oh calm your tits dude, I’m just screwin’ with ya.
[19:32] <DragonLS> Moving on... Has she adapted to her body?
[19:32] <Cowboy Appledash> Well considering she nearly whooped my ass, wrestled with my dog an drank half my beer... Yeah, I’d say she’s doing fine.
[19:33] <DragonLS> I’m sure it’d be scary to see a drunk Applejack.
[19:33] <Cowboy Appledash> Surprisingly no, she’s a flirty drunk, which is fine by me.
[19:33] <DragonLS> ...I sincerely hope you’re living with another member of the house.
[19:33] <Cowboy Appledash> Yeah, they’re just not anywhere nearby. In fact, my dad’s like 400 miles north of here an’ my grandparents are out in Missouri.
[19:33] <Cowboy Appledash> o got the house to myself, hence why I had the brewskis.
[19:33] <DragonLS> So in other words, it’s just you, the dog, and Applejack.
I are a legal, edumacated a-dult.
[19:34] <Cowboy Appledash> Yes ma’am.
[19:34] <DragonLS> “Ma’am?”
‘Mind games’, The best move in my deck. Call him feminine and deduce his responses.
[19:34] <Cowboy Appledash> I call everybody ma’am, don’t worry about it Nancy.
[19:34] <DragonLS> Er, right, well... just don’t take advantage of her, alright? I’m sure she’s been through hell after what happened to get her here on earth.
No snide comebacks? No jesting insults? What kind of being is this effeminate creature?
[19:35] <Cowboy Appledash> If anything, I should wear a chastity belt to protect myself from her. After all, I’m a damn sexy hick.
Narcissism, a healthy necessity for all rednecks.
[19:35] <DragonLS> I’ll just assume that was more humor... But anyway, seriously, let’s not do things that could cause unnecessary trouble, like getting a pony pregnant or spreading humanized ponies around the public.
[19:35] <Cowboy Appledash> You’ll get used to my weirdness eventually, trust me, last thing I’m gonna do is go around knockin’ girls up.
[19:35] <Cowboy Appledash> Anyway, I’ma get goin’. I figure Aj’s gettin’ a tad hungry right about meow.
[19:36] <DragonLS> What, no questions for me? o_o
[19:36] <Cowboy Appledash> Nah, you seem like too much of a puss to do anything that would require me to beat you like a redheaded stepchild.
Seriously. It didn’t seem as if he could hold his own against a box full of kittens!
[19:36] <DragonLS> ...So you’re not interested in the ponies I’ve found so far? Mkay...
[19:36] <Cowboy Appledash> I asked you about that earlier an you didn’t say anything.
[19:36] <DragonLS> You never brought it back up, so I thought you wanted to know other things? :/
[19:36] <DragonLS> ...nevermind, my humor can be weird sometimes.
[19:36] <Cowboy Appledash> Huh... I could’ve sworn I asked. Oh well. What do you know punkass?
[19:36] <DragonLS> Ahem... well, if Rainbow Dash and Applejack are in this world, I can safely tell you that Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy are here too, with a user named “TheSlorg”. Oh, and the evil bunny, Angel.
[19:36] <Cowboy Appledash> Oh God, that little shit’s here? Katy bar the door...
When I see that rabbit, I’m gonna shoot it. I swear to God...
[19:36] <Cowboy Appledash> Good to know Flutterbutt an the Pink hellion are in good hands.
[19:36] <DragonLS> Yes, I trust the guy since we’re friends. They’re in good hands I’m sure. Only problem is they’re in Australia, and that means zero access for me.
G’day mate! Le’s throw a‘nothuh shrimp on the bahbeh!
[19:37] <Cowboy Appledash> Ah yes, way down under in the land of roo’s an’ jews. They got Jews there right?
[19:37] <Cowboy Appledash> Anyway, I figure once we track all of them down, we can ship their asses on over yonder.
[19:37] <DragonLS> Perhaps, it’s just the matter of making a circle of communication to all the pony owners. The only one I seem to be unsure of now, is Rarity. 5 out of 6 and what not.
[19:37] <Cowboy Appledash> Dude, your math is whacked out, that’s four plus a princess an a sociopathic rabbit. We’re still missing Twilight an Luna.
All those extra chromosomes and not a single extra brain cell...
[19:37] <DragonLS> Twilight... well christ, how did that slip my mind? And true... I didn’t think about Luna. If Celestia is here, there’s a high chance Luna would be, too.
[19:37] <Cowboy Appledash> Exactly.
...Dumbass.
[19:37] <DragonLS> However, it’s not just the Mane 6 and the Princesses I’m worried about. There’s an even bigger problem.
[19:38] <Cowboy Appledash> Oh dear... You ran out of crack didn’t you?
I had to say it, merely for the sake of my own laughter at his (her/its?) expense.
[19:38] <DragonLS> No, I ran out of heroin. Seriously, what’s with your humor...? :o
[19:38] <Cowboy Appledash> I’m a funny lookin’ redneck that don’t get enough sun. Simple as that.
It’s true, my legs have been known to blind people wearing welding helmets.
[19:08] <DragonLS> ...Moving on, The Cutie Mark Crusaders are in this world, too.
[19:38] <Cowboy Appledash> How do you know?
[19:39] <DragonLS> Same guy who owns Pinkie and Flutters atm. He met the guy who has ‘em. Mercy on his soul.
[19:39] <Cowboy Appledash> o.O Well shit. That’s the guy I’d feel sorry for.
[19:39] <Cowboy Appledash> Poor bastard has to deal with a bunch of hyperactive kids.
Scootaloo’d be awesome, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle on the other hand... Not so much.
[19:39] <DragonLS> I can understand one kid, but three kids would be an eternal hell.
[19:40] <DragonLS> Regardless, that’s all I’ve run into so far.
[19:40] <Cowboy Appledash> Alright. Well, I really oughtta get goin’. Got a purty mouth to feed, y’know.
That, and I’d run out of witty comments to throw this guy off...
[19:40] <DragonLS> Very well. We’ll keep in contact, mkay? And if you run into any more ponies, let me know about it. I’ll do the same for ya as well.
[19:40] <Cowboy Appledash> Right on mate. Later. Have a good’n an’ stay safe.
[19:40] <DragonLS> Sure, you too.
I shut my computer off and went back upstairs to find Applejack watching some PBR we had recorded on the DVR.
“How in the hell did you manage to figure that out?”
She looked up at me and smiled “Y’know, Ah don’t rigtly know,” she said through a laugh “Ah jus’ pressed a bunch of buttons to see what they’d do an this ‘ere rodeo came up.”
“Well shit.” I scratched my head in utter bewilderment. “Hey, you hungry? I can order us some pizza or somethin’ if you want.”
“Sounds good.” She smiled and went back to watching her bull riding. As I would later find out, this would be the cause of even more undesired stress.
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Hmm, a guy with the CMC. Man, you should probably look that guy up cause... you know, he's probably going through a lot with the three most energetic fillies in the show.
2123785 yeah, I bet he is. Poor guy. If only there was something I could do to help him.
Not to mention he had a friendly run in with discord,
Whoa, hot damn, I wouldnt want part of my ear blown off xD
Typical with you men, you pick a 1911, when there are SO many better options
Why pick a 1911 when you can pick an FNP 45? Aside from nostalgia, of course 
2124080 Because 'Muricuh.
2123947 Indeed. He's gonna have grey hair by the time he's old enough to drink.
2124090 Ah, yeah xD 1911s are classic, but there are many other guns that are tactically better
But sadly, it aint the greatest country anymore :'D
you scare me Cowboy.
2124119 Like the Gepard M3 or the GAU 19/1A?
2124128 Zehr gut meine freunde :P
2124179 Remington shotgun, and a gas/compressed air powered nail gun are the two I'd get, mainly because zombie apocalypses are kinda hard to prepare for, and nails are a ot less expensive than gun munitions.
Glad to see someone's trying to keep up with TheSlorg; great job, and keep it up!
Oh, and judging by your picture avy, I'd say that Applejack's in terribly good hands. That there's a compliment if you took it the other way
2124179
Du sprichst Deutsch?
2124779 Have you SEEN the guns I listed? They are overkill to the max.
2124877 YAY! Compriments fer muh purtyness! Haha, to clarify, that is indeed me, I just took that picture because of one of the comments somewhere around here. But yeah, I try to keep the wait time under three weeks now.
2124934 lol no, not really, that's about all I remembered from my German class.
2124959
I also noticed that you neglected to mention if you ever bandaged your ear in this chapter. Will this come back to bite you in a later chapter in the form of a debilitating infection and or life-threatening disease?
2124959 I go more for conservation of ammo and long-term survival than all-out WMDs.
Man, people who like Scootaloo the most out of the CMCs are up there with people who like Rainbow Dash (at all) in the "opinions most alien and outlandish to Superbowl" club.
2124779 Shotguns are pathetic in a zombie apocalypse. You cant carry a lot of ammo for them and they're only effective at close and midrange
2124179 No, I was talking about handguns. Where'd you get a sniper and a machine gun? xD
I meant that the FNP 45 Tactical has 15 rounds of .45 ACP, is fully ambidextrous, comes with a trijicon sight and threaded barrel, has a decocker so you can carry cocked and locked, and locked and loaded, and has good recoil
2124979 Ya know... I honestly don't know. It just might now that you bring it up.
2125061 But... But... Anti-anything in less than 2 seconds that's roughly a mile away!
2125386 lelwat?
2125543 From a book...
2126273 Eh, that's why you get a rifle. To start out, though, I go with a shotgun, and a nail gun. The rifle I can pick up later for free.
2125535 So? Shotgun still good for something. Besides, the nail gun's for mid-to-long range. If you bump up the psi then it can shoot pretty far.
2126273 I mean that I can't comprehend how someone's favorite CMC could be Scootaloo and how anyone can really like RD, cuz I completely fail to see anything about her that would lift her above "tolerable". Obviously it's a matter of opinion but there are opinions out there that I simply can't understand.
2126463 Its the same as peoples fav BC ponies, they just have a liking for them. I like RD alot, not as much as Octy or Aj...or spitfire now, damn you Appledash for that, simply cause of certain things that i hold close to me.
2128820 huehuehue
Ho damn! You snuck one right by me! Cheeky bastard, you. And of course you would blow off your ear. And of course you wouldn't give a flying fuck. Might muck with your sexy good looks, though.
Goddam, why can't I read one of your chapters without bursting out in laughter? Oh that's right, because you're fucking hilarious. DragonLS sure got his ass handed to him hehe. Also, AJ seemed to take the whole gun thing pretty well, all things considered. But then again, she's living with you. I take it back, I'm sure she's doing fine.
I need to sneak my way into one of these IRCs at one point to be a belligerent douchewagon...
2129596 Yes, I do need to somehow squeak you into one of the "IRC's".
2133873 I can only hope that I live up to your expectations.
2133937 Yes, I do see what you did there. I also know that the 'Boss Hoss' has a Chevrolet motor in it. But personally, I like Harley Davidson. The only time I'll ride something different is if I build it. Call me biased, but I'm picky like that.
2133572 It will be glorious. Although, we might kill the audience from sexiness overload. An interesting experiment...
I shudder to think what hazards can result from Applejack watching rodeo...
2134213 There is always a risk we must be willing to take.
2136710 Do you really want to know? Cause I do.
You guys always make these friggin' IRC chats look like something i'd want to get into... only, that no one goes on there(probably), and I have no idea how to.
This chapter was SO F'ING FUNNY!
2126463 Because, she's a badass, I tend to like badasses, especially if they are female Equestrians.
2138914 I dunno, I don't see her as badass. Maybe it's because I sincerely find nothing she does cool or interesting. Or maybe it's all the rainbows. My biggest gripe with her is that her attitude of only caring about sports and her cool image and being blatantly anti-intellectual and insensitive is a terrible role model and everyone in the community seems to believe that more people should be like that.
2138867 It seems as though you've taken a liking to my bit of teh PonyFalls XD So addressing your most recent comments in order...
1. Meat is awesome.
2. Fuckin' 5FDP ftw.
3. Were wer u wen Cowboy_Appledash was kill?
4. We just typed out the IRC manually this time, it's actually pretty easy.
5. Don't listen to fluffy over there, he's delusional.
wahoo? qmail? Obvious copyright dodging.
2146168 Slorg made me do it!
2151997
Sure.
2154637 We change the email providers to avoid accidentally using anyone's real email address. It's the same reason all phone numbers begin with 555.
2156188
Okay.
2257482 First off, let me start off by saying "Holy shitballs", a borderline pseudo-celebrity on FimFiction outside of Ponyfall likes my shit... That's fuckin' badass. Second, it's good to know you have a pair of nuts, if you were to disagree with me an say somethin' like "It's all about GM", I'd be forced to beat you like a redheaded step child. Third, that's pretty cool, I don't know all the specs on our Rock, but it's a blast to shoot 'er let me tell ya. Been oggling over them Kimber Coverts for some ungodly reason though. lol
"Anyway, I’ma get goin’. I figure Aj’s gettin’ a tad hungry right about meow."
supertroopers? or you just say that out of random
2289945 The hell are you on about? I need you to calm down right meow, and start makin some sense here
I really like how this story is going. I'm taking a break after reading 7 chapters. Good my friend
Is this meant to be a pun?