Half Past a Kick in the Ass
April 13th, 2012
It’s been said that pigs are smart creatures. While that may be true in some ways, it’s clearly evident that this particular swine was anything but intelligent. After all, what kinda hog lets you kill it, butcher it, and consume its delicious flesh? Certainly not one of superior intellect. The same could be said for cows and chickens and everything in between. Not to mention the sheep that make up eighty percent of the oh-so-wonderful concoction known as Haggis.
That being said, our ever-present vegans and their not-so-friendly cohorts will be the first to tell you that ‘meat is murder’ and other such filthy accusations. I, for one, like my food just the way it is, and I’ll be damned if I let some smelly hippie tell me otherwise. Thus, it came as a bit of a surprise when I was verbally assaulted for my carnivorous ways.
“Ya’ll are monsters! How could ya go around eatin’ them piggies an’ such?”
“Same way you eat those innocent defenseless daisies,” I replied through a mouthful of a bacon cheeseburger. “So if you don’t want none, I’ll get you a leaf or something to munch on.”
“That’s terrible! Ya’ll are sick in the head! Ah don’t know what ever possessed y’all to go around killin’ them critters an eatin’ them all willy nilly. It ain’t right, it’s murder an ya’ll know it!” she shouted at me.
I looked at her blankly for a moment, gave Dozer a piece of bacon, then swallowed. “Because for a human, being an omnivore is natural. Ain’t there things where you’re from that eat meat?”
“Well yeah, Winona does, an’ griffins too. But they’re predators by nature!”
“Then there ya go. It’s natural for some things to eat other animals, so get off my ass about it cause you ain’t gonna change my mind one way or another.” I set my burger down and took a drink of water. “Listen. Around here, most humans eat meat and plants. Not all mind you, just most. There’s a lot of things here on Earth that are way different than what you’re used to, so you’ll just have to live with it ‘till we get you back home. So, you hungry or what?”
She sat down and crossed her arms with a frown “...Yeah, Ah am a tad hungry. But what do y’all got that ain’t meat?” she asked as if I forgot that she refused to consume animal parts.
“Uh... Bread, milk, peanut butter, jelly, apples,” I began listing off some basic things we had. “Oranges, nanners, taters, salad... eggs? I dunno, but you can scrounge around the pantry or somethin’ if you want to.”
“Ah suppose Ah could go with some apples.” She still looked pissed and honestly, I didn’t really care too much about her little bitch fit. What? I like to eat animals and she doesn’t. Simple as that.
“That’s it? Fruit for dinner?” She shrugged as if it didn’t make much difference to her. “Suit yourself.” I stood up and walked over to the refrigerator where we kept all the fruit stored. I opened the fridge and reached into the door, producing two apples, then took them back to the table and handed them to her.
I sat back down and went to pick up my burger and noticed one of the apples had already been completely devoured save for the core and stem. “Damn... You really were hungry.”
Applejack did nothing more than glare at me and slowly chew the mouthful of apple she had.
“Would you pull that stick out of your ass already? It’s food. The natural cycle of ‘if I can eat you, I bloody well will.’ Besides, animals can’t give a damn if they’re dead now can they?”
“That still don’t justify it.”
“An’ my eating habits don’t justify you being a bitch, so get over it. If it’s really that terrible, I’ll go to the store and we can get you some ‘pony friendly food.’ That sound like a deal?” I try to stay calm through a lot of things, but I do have some buttons that, when pushed, will throw me so far over the edge that not even a surface-to-air missile could compete with my range.
“Fine...”
“Then it’s settled. Tomorrow we’ll go hit up Wally World.” With that, I grabbed my burger and took an intentionally violent bite just to irk her.
~
I had set up the guest bed for Applejack to sleep on, which provoked Dozer to join her for the night. He seemed content laying right by the door just in case somebody came in uninvited. With the sleeping arrangement settled, I set off to my lair in order to crash myself.
Unfortunately, sleep didn’t come, even after all the effort I went through to get stripped and comfortable. I got out of bed about three hours into my attempt at dozing off and finally gave up. I got dressed and shuffled back up the stairs, making sure to check on Applejack and Dozer. As I expected, they were contentedly snoring up a storm.
“Cute,” I muttered to myself and left them to their snoozing. I went to sit outside on the porch, grabbing my pack on the way. Once I had lit my cigarette and gotten comfortable, I let my mind wander.
It began with a bunch of self-doubt and moral questioning. Why had I gone snooping around in that field in the first place? What had possessed me to harbor a once-naked assumed-to-be crazy girl? These were just a couple of the questions I berated myself with. Yet something told me that I needed to do this, not for my sake but hers. She didn’t belong here and it was my duty to safely return her home, no matter the cost.
Once I was finished with my cigarette, I put it out and flicked it out into the grass before lying back, watching the sky. I sat like that for the rest of the night, a slur of fuzzy thoughts blowing in and out of my mind like a western prairie wind.
April 14th, 2012
Once the sun’s first rays of light peeked over the horizon, I got up and went inside to start breakfast and put some coffee on. AJ, with her living on a farm her whole life, had also gotten up rather early. I watched as she took a seat at the table.
“Sleep well?” I asked.
“Mmmhmm...” was her reply. “How ‘bout ya’ll?” Her tone was groggy and a bit slow.
“Didn’t,” I replied as I grabbed the bacon and eggs from the refrigerator, then retrieved the hash browns from the freezer.
“Why?”
“Don’t know. It’s all good though, I ain’t tired anyway.” I turned the stove on and set a frying pan down on it, allowing it to warm up a bit.
“Huh...”
“So Dozer seems to like you,” came my attempt at small talk.
“Hmm? Oh, yeah, don’t rightly know why.” AJ looked up from the table where her head had been resting previously. “Ain’t he yer dog?”
“Apparently he’s yours now,” I chuckled. I tossed some browns into the pan and let them sizzle for a bit. “Milk? Coffee?”
“What?” Obviously not a morning person... Pony. Whatever.
“You want some milk or coffee?”
“Oh!” There’s a keyword in there somewhere. “Coffee sounds nice. Black.”
“You got it, Hoss,” I said and reached up to the cupboard and grabbed two mugs, the larger one being mine, which was actually a soup mug. I poured the black liquid into each cup and brought AJ hers. “Careful, it’s hot,” I said and went back to fix mine up with the creamer and sugar I felt it needed.
“Yup...”
I could hear the hash browns start to quiet down so I stirred them a bit to ensure they cooked evenly. Once they were done, I grabbed two plates from the cabinet and scooped an equal share onto both and began preparing the eggs. “How do you like your eggs?”
“Cooked.”
“Heh, me too,” I laughed, first joke I’d really gotten from her so far. So I did my usual and chopped them up into a yellow goop with the spatula as they fried. When they finished, I scooped half onto Applejack’s plate and set it down in front of her with a fork then went back to get my bacon going.
With my bacon done, I threw it onto my plate, grabbed a fork and turned around to find Applejack face down in her plate totally conked out. “Yo, Applejack... You alright?” I asked as I grabbed her shoulder and shook her a bit.
She must not be a very heavy sleeper as she jumped up abruptly and shouted, “Get them pears outta here!”
“You gonna eat your food?” I managed through a suppressed laugh.
“Huh? Oh! Yeah, sorry ‘bout that.” I watched her reach for a piece of egg with her hand and stopped her.
“You know how to use a fork?” I asked and showed her the pronged utensil in my hands.
“Can’t say Ah do,” she said through an intense yawn.
“Let me show you then.” I grabbed her hand and her fork then placed the food stabber in her hands. “Like this.” I showed her how I was holding mine and coerced her to mimic my method.
It took her a little while before she got it figured out and started eating properly.
We ate quietly; she hadn’t said a word about the bacon on my plate, to which I was grateful. It seemed we had conquered that hurdle after all. I took our plates into the kitchen, put them in the sink to soak for a bit, and allowed her some time to wake up.
She still seemed a bit groggy as I showed her outside to the truck and got her buckled in safely.
Applejack hadn’t said much since she had finished breakfast, nor did she say much as we got rolling to head off to Wal-Mart, so I turned on the radio and made sure it was set to 106.7 KBPI. The very second the radio came alive, I was graced by one of my favorite songs: ‘What it’s Like’ by Everlast. Although she did react to the sudden music in a somewhat surprised fashion, she soon settled down. I guess good music is a universal language.
~
The song had just reached its end as I turned off the highway into Greeley and transitioned to another favorite of mine: ‘No One Gets Left Behind’ from Five Finger Death Punch.
“Oh, hell yeah. This is some good shit right here.”
I looked over at Applejack who sat staring out the window. Just then, a terrible idea came into my mind and I grinned mischievously. I turned the radio as loud as it would go.
Her reaction was immediate. She shot straight up and caught herself on the seat belt. This forced an audible laugh from me despite the malicious scowl on her mug. “Calm down,” I shouted over the radio. “It’s just music!”
“How in the hay is this music?!” she screamed.
“The same way B.B. King and Chris LeDoux are musicians,” I said and flipped the blinker, signalling my upcoming righthand turn.
“Sounds like a bunch of noise an’ yellin’!”
“Well it ain’t, so sit back an’ enjoy it, honey,” I said and turned it down a little bit.
She sat back and covered her ears for the duration of the ride, which was fine by me as I navigated through the streets to our destination.
Upon reaching the store and finding a good parking spot, I turned the radio down and put the beast in park. I got out of the cab and walked around to the other side to let her out. As soon as she set foot on the pavement and the door closed behind her, I made the official 23rd St. Wal-Mart introduction. “Welcome to ‘Wal-Martinez’!”
“Charmed,” she sarcastically intoned and rolled her eyes. “What exactly is this place?”
“Super store. You can find damn near anything you need here, although most of it is high-priced junk,” I stated in mock pride as I led her inside. “First things first, what’s your favorite food?”
She remained silent for a moment then said, “Uh... Apples?”
“Besides that.”
“Uhh...” She obviously never put much thought into this kind of stuff. “Celery or broccoli Ah s’pose.”
“Fair enough,” I said and headed over to the produce aisle, snagging a cart on the way.
Note: Applejack does not like peas. No matter what form they come in. Same goes for brussels sprouts, or as I like to call them: ‘little alien heads.’ We got most of our shopping done pretty quickly. Save for the produce she needed, we also got some other things like different apple-flavored products including pop-tarts, along with some ‘vegan products’ like soy bacon and some tofu stuff. I figured if she wouldn’t get her protein the right way, she’d get it the weird way. It took quite a bit of hassle to assure her that tofu was indeed NOT meat, but rather ‘wannabe meat’ made from beans.
As soon as she accepted this, I went and grabbed a couple gallons of milk along with some cereal for breakfast. With the grocery bit done, we headed over to the other side of the store where they sold hygiene products. This process lasted about an hour as I had to explain to her what everything was for and allowed her to choose what she wanted from the ‘basic necessities’ like shampoo and body wash. I also managed to get a camouflage ‘Dodge’ hat for her because after all, it’s Mopar or No Car.
Our grand total peaked at about $167 after I convinced her that she should try out two of the very best unhealthy products known to man: Twix and Coke. I must say, she looked like your average country gal with her brand spankin’ new Dodge cap and blue jeans on. Which was good, as people rarely asked questions about such a thing.
On our way out however, we hit a bit of a snag. Okay, so it wasn’t really a snag, it was more like a pissed off cracker who doesn’t like strange Mexican kids (or any kids for that matter) leaning on his truck and chatting away while smoking a joint.
“Alright you little shits!” I shouted at them after I made Applejack stay by the cart. “First things first. Put out that goddamn J. Second, get the hell away from my truck before I start crackin’ skulls!”
“¡Vete al carajo! Maricón,” one of the delinquents shouted back before he took another hit from his stogie.
“Listen here, punk. Ya’ll got about five seconds before I beat the brown off your dumb asses.”
“Whachu say cabron?” The second one, who happened to be dressed in all black, said.
“I said ya need to get your asses up on outta here before I send you back home to Mexico in a bodybag!” Suffice it to say, I can get pretty irritable when Spanish is used against me.
“You best get steppin’ white boy,” the third said as he got up and took a step toward me. “Unless you want us to have some fun with your little señora over there after we beat your ass.”
Thus the proverbial straw broke the camel’s back. I reached my hand into my vest pocket and laced my fingers into the pair of knuckle dusters I always carried with me. I had never used them before, but I figured it was high time they felt flesh and cracking bones. May God have mercy on my enemies, because I sure as hell won’t.
I walked forward and feinted a left hook at the one farthest to the right, instead opting for a right cross at the one in the middle, which subsequently broke his nose. His two compadres however, wasted no time at all and quickly grabbed my arms in an attempt to put me down on the pavement. So I did the first thing that came to mind: I brought my right leg up and kicked at the knee of the onyx-clad cholo.
It seems I missed, however, as his leg remained intact. It worked though, since it got him off of me for a bit so I could focus on the one to my left. Before I had any time to get a hit on him, he brought his fist around, making solid contact with my jaw. It was then that I remembered a quote I try to live by: ‘the more one sweats in training, the less one bleeds in battle’. I took this as my cue to go berserk. I grabbed his arm, twisted it around his back and took a firm hold of the nape of his neck.
“Pain is merely weakness leaving the body,” I said to him through gritted teeth before I mustered all the strength I could and brought him face down to kiss the concrete.
Of course, my short monologue of badassery was rudely interrupted by the first hoodrat I hit tackling me from the side with the force of a slightly irritated chihuahua. They say ‘the bigger they are, the harder they fall.’ Well, I didn’t fall all that hard, so that must’ve been proof that I wasn’t all that big.
The black-clothed hoodlum came to his aid and made it his personal mission to try and disfigure my face as he threw a series of quick punches at me. When you’re in a blind rage, you don’t really feel pain, but that adrenaline rush doesn’t last very long because soon I was reduced to an immobile bloody mess.
One by one, they stopped kicking at me and punching me. I guess they had decided they’d had enough fun for the day and went on their merry way, but not before driving the last nail into the coffin and spitting on my face. It took a couple minutes but Applejack finally worked up the courage to run over and check to see if I was alright. She started by speaking complete gibberish at about a hundred miles per hour, so I waited for her to slow down her speech to a more coherent level.
“Oh my sweet merciful Celestia. Are ya alright?”
“Just peachy,” I managed to say. I groaned a bit as I struggled to sit up and then proceeded to hack up a good bit of blood and mucus on the ground. “Y’know, history wasn’t written by pacifists.”
“Ya’ll just got beat up and yer suddenly a philosophomiser?”
“It’s better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.”
“What in the hay is that supposed to mean?” Applejack asked as she offered her hand to help me up. I brushed her hand away gently and managed to get up on one knee.
“Violence may not be the best option, but it’s still an option.”
“Would ya quit talkin’ in fancy riddles?!”
I couldn’t help but grin as I looked at her, the concern evident in her eyes. “You can’t break me, no matter how hard you try.”
“Have ya’ll gone nutty? Ya just got broken!”
“Beaten, yes. Broken, no. I can still move can’t I?” I replied nonchalantly and finally stood up. I stretched myself out, cracked my knuckles and rolled my neck a bit. I hurt pretty bad, but I could deal with it. After all, chicks dig scars.
I dug the can out of my back pocket and threw a bit of tobacco in my lip. It stung pretty bad where my lip had been cut, and I could distinctly taste the blood. Rub some dirt in it, you’ll be fine, I thought. Stuffing the can back in, I limped over to the shopping cart and pushed it over to the truck and opened up the back door.
“Now jus’ hold on there a second sugarcube.”
“What?”
“So ya’ll are gonna stand there, after gettin’ beat up somethin’ fierce an’ walk it off like it never happened?” she asked, sounding surprised.
“What else am I gonna do? Call the cops or somethin’?” I laughed. “That’ll be the day.”
“The day what?”
“That I become society’s bitch and start doing things the ‘right way’.” She stood there, silently gawking at me as I loaded the bags into the truck. “You just gonna stand there? Or are you gonna help me with these bags?” She took the hint and grabbed a few herself and began tossing them inside.
“Why would you do that? Go an’ pick a fight?”
“Because respect is a ‘hands on’ kinda lesson, that’s why.”
~
We made it back to the house in one piece and took all the groceries inside. I excused myself for a moment and headed into the bathroom to wash up. Despite recent events, I looked alright. My face was a bit scratched up and was starting to swell, and my left eye was half-lidded, signifying it’d be black and swollen for a while. All in all, not that bad... If looking like you just got hit by a truck could be considered ‘not that bad.’
I walked back into the kitchen and began putting the groceries and such away while Applejack stood, leaning against the counter. “Ya sure yer alright? You got whooped somethin’ fierce back there.”
“Meh. You win some you lose some. First fight I’ve lost, actually.”
“You ain’t even gonna patch yourself up?”
“Nah, that’d be a waste of first aid stuff. Unless I’ve got major lacerations or somethin’, I just suck it up an’ deal with it,” I said as I opened the refrigerator and began placing some of the foodstuffs in their respectful spots. “By the way, I’ve got some good news for you.”
“An’ what might that be?”
“I know where Rainbow Dash is.”
“WHAT?!” Applejack cried. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?!”
“I dunno, your escapade from earlier made me forget all about it.” I finished putting the rest away and sat atop the counter.
“But still! Ya could’ve told me on the way to the store!”
“You were sleepy, an’ I didn’t wanna mess with you all that much... I was also kinda pissed, mostly at myself though.” I sighed and looked at Applejack. My mind seemed to grow fuzzy for a bit as I remembered all that had happened in just a day. It was then that a thought struck me, why had I been being so mean to her? She hadn't done anything to deserve it, and I had no real reason to be so distrusting and foul. She was in a bind in a place that she wouldn't last a week in. Maybe if I made an effort to make up for my attitude, she might forgive me. It's definitely worth a shot. I told myself and looked back to the blonde girl across from me.
“Listen, AJ. I’m really sorry about how I’ve been acting. You don’t deserve my being a complete dick to you. You’ll come to realize that humans are a damn stupid species, no matter what anybody says.” I sighed and scratched my head for a second. “Do you think maybe we could start over? Make ammends?”
“Ah’d like that.” She flashed me a genuine smile and opened her arms for a hug. Being the big softie I am, I quickly obliged. Although I did have to quit as she started gasping for air. I always seemed to nearly kill people with hugs.
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When I read this I immediately thought of...
1948565 Good haha, that's what I was thinking when I wrote it.
*its
Hm, this chapter was pretty alright. Glad I stuck around for it.
1948914 Fixed an good to know. :P
AH! Chevy Chase?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
1949590 We always call it Wally World roun' here.
1949718 yep!
I love texas
1950768 Texas? This here's Colorado boy! lol
I don't think I like this chapter.
Don't get me wrong, it's well-written and funny, but the protagonist's general attitude makes it damn near impossible for me to care about him. He picks a fight and generally acts like a stuck-up douche, and at the end of the chapter he apologizes without much insight as to why.
Maybe if there was a bit of internal monologue where he reflects on what's happened his apology would be believable, but as it stands it just kinda comes out of left field.
1951237 Thanks for the insight mate, I think I'll rework the chapter a bit and see what I can do. I just felt it was needed, although I didn't really hash it out all too well.
Hmm, i liked it. nothing like a fight to wake you up in the morning. Now all we need is for Winona to pop up and have a dog fight.
1951574 Maybe... Maybe.
1951237 You just have to ask yourself what the odds are that all eleven confirmed ponies on Earth would be found by people with completely clean consciences and histories who aren't going to make a few mistakes with their lives here and there.
One of the main reasons I brought on Cowboy to the PonyFall team is that his character's attitude clashes wildly with some of the others, which will make for much more interesting interactions later on than if they were all a bunch of perfectly straight, upstanding citizens.
1951666
That's perfectly understandable, but my complaint wasn't really that he was a jerk per se, but that his apology later in the chapter seemed rushed and didn't really work without the narration giving insight as to what made him really feel that way.
Perhaps I should've been clearer on that.
1950819 my statement still stands
1951703 Of course you do, bloody Texan lol.
1951666 And here I thought it was for my sexy body...
1951701 I tried to fix it as best I could.
1951771
Thanks for taking my advice! The revised chapter's a lot better, I can actually say with certainty that I was sympathizing with the lead character by the end.
Good job so far, keep up the good writing!
1951786 Thank god lol XD
If I had to guess, I'd say "subtlety" is not your middle name. It seems like all the other writers are trying to make their characters more sensitive about the whole meat thing, whereas you just say "Go fuck yourself, I want my meat." And I would do exactly the same thing in your shoes. Keep up the funny, my friend.
1957411 EXACTLY! Slorg said something earlier about how this is why he chose me, because I'm so much different than the others.
1957476 for the Pony on Earth a friend and I wrote, Octavia was quite understanding. It is, after all, noted a few times that the mythical winged-horse Pegasus ate fish. Pinkie eats hotdogs. Fluttershy would probably be the easiest to sway, even if it's only because she works with animals.
1957648 ... What?
1957688 In Greek Mythology (Or Roman, I can never remember which), Pegasus ate fish. It's more than likely because he was half equine and half avian, because most birds of prey will eat fish.
In a story a friend and I wrote called The Mute Octave, Octavia finds herself on Earth with a man who cannot speak. When she finds out about meat (after she's already partaken of it once or twice, in fact), she doesn't freak out, nor does she stop eating it. Why? Because it's good for her body, since she is a human, and because she's not so stupid as to be insulted by the fact that humans eat meat.
And Pinkie mentioned hot dogs and ketchup being a favorite of hers during the episode Fall Weather Friends.
And that concludes my case study why ponies shouldn't FtFo.
As for Fluttershy being most accepting, she does work with bears, otters (whom of which she actually brings fish to), and other carnivorous animals besides.
1958942 Ah ok lol that makes sense. Pegasus is Greek though for sure.
Pain is weakness leaving the body XD
SOLDIER! IS SPY!
1960761 Same beef, different cow lol
1960798 lolwut? Where did that come from?
1961012 Scroll down to Organizations
The other part is the heavy, who shouts things like that.
Lol, mocked fer not being vegan I always find that funny. I am a brony and a pescetarian so I get some mockage on both ends and it always amuses me on the food end. Who really cares what others eat, if ya don;t agree shat up and leave it alone. I like the idea of just rolling with it too, okay so maybe shes crazy maybe shes not lets see were this goes. So far of them all yer character, or you not quite sure how its going, is the best.
1961573 Ah I see lol, yeah I remember I tried to do 100 pushups for a Marine back in high school just to get a t-shirt with those words on it.
1963067 Nothin' wrong with that in my opinion, we all have our tastes and such, pescetarian is understandable though since it incorporates fish which I never get to have. :/
1963097 yer missin out fish is awesome, if it was cheaper I wouldn't eat chicken at all. People call it a boring thing but man can you do a lot with fish if you don't get lazy.
1963104 Yeah I know, problem is fish is too expensive in my area and I can't catch a fish to save my life. lol But I have had some, like trout an whatnot, mainly freshwater fishies.
1963170 It's expensive every were, everything is its very sad. Even living with my folks I live paycheck to paycheck
1963181 I know exactly how you feel mate, hell, shrimp is one of my favorite things to eat.
1963186 I feel lucky I enjoy the italian cuisines, cheap as heck usually or atleast you can use cheap stuff and make it taste awesome. You should have AJ try shrimp in yer story, the eat eggs so I could see shrimp being feasible, since it's a sea bug and all.
1963194 I'll have to look into that a bit... What do you think of the collab as a whole anyway? Any favorite parts or characters?
1963234 from the ones I have read and are up to date one, like you, yer character if I read things write, the best. RD's story is pretty good I can understand its large amounts of like. Enjoying the one about discord. The twilight one seems promising thought it did remind me of a fight that nearly got me fired. As for the other three haven't made it there, Over all they are a lot of fun to read. Everyone so far has been doing a good job writing them.
1963242 Woo! I feel special lol, Dusty just recently updated his too, so you could probably harass him as well :P
1963248 I might I did enjoy the reaction of rarity and did leave a comment but he was not so kind as to reply. So few do, even I only reply to a few comments from time to time. I do try to make a habit of it though, feels mean not to for the more well thought out comments which I guess for his story I really didn't do.
1963256 Ah, I splee lol, well I don't get enough comments for it to be an issue for me, I always reply to everybody. :P
1963263 I would think you would get plenty of comments you have a pretty good writing style. Slows well, didn't notice any errors. Tenses were good, dialogue was well planned. Little low on descripters but made up for with the dialogue setting the mood, just my opinion. Overall your a good writer so I would think more people would comment, Yer certainly better at this set of tags than I would be. I find I struggle when I deviate from sad or subtle emotions
1963284 Planned? Boy, the only thing I ever plan is the basic events of the chapter, everything else is flying by the seat of my pants.
But thanks mate, it helps that I've got good editors like Slorg and Shanenator helping me out.
1963295 Know the feeling I would be lost with my proofreader, same with the planning thing I write it wait a day reread it and edit and send it over to get proofread. Closest to planning I do is an idea notebook, drives my boss nuts
1963306 Like a boss lol, Slorg always hounds me for my lack of commas. I gotta say, being a High School Dropout that failed every class since 5th grade, I don't do TOO bad compared to some 'College Graduates'.
1963316 I am impressed to, not to be judgemental but most dropouts I know ain't nearly as literate as you. Though looking at emailing and texting there isn't a whole lot of literate left out there. -_- I almost flunked out of highschool so I can kinda relate to the dropouts, I passed cause I pissed off my teachers enough that they didn't to deal with me again.
1963325 That's how it's done buddy! lol I always slept in class and was never an issue, never did my homework and aced all my tests. To put it simply, I was an insanely lazy motherfucker..
1963334 Brohoof man, same thing aced my test and those were the only days I bothered showing up unless the bullies were out and I was to tired to be violent. Violence never makes sleep easy.
1963337 lol never had a problem with them either, everybody was always scared of me. It helps when you beat a kid with a barbed wire club after egging your house.
1963341 hmm I wish I had thought of that, worst I ever pulled was breaking a dudes throat with a choke through a table. The bat probably woulda done wonders for everyone else who thought that was a one time thing
1963348 You gotta make it out of a real sturdy wood though, mine shattered on impact. BAHAHAHA
1963354 that's why I love my dented tin bat or is it aliminum, either way makes a great sound when encountering someones fist.