“Rainbow, what have Ah told ya ‘bout sleeping in mah apple trees!?”
Applejack had just caught Rainbow Dash napping in one of the many trees that made up the orchards of Sweet Apple Acres. The farmer was glaring at the pegasus, who was resting on the ground on her head.
“You don’t have to buck the tree you find me in every time!” Rainbow complained back as she righted herself. “I’m probably getting brain damage,” she said as she rubbed at the lump that was beginning to form.
“Not like there’s anythin’ to damage,” Applejack retorted harshly.
“What?” Rainbow asked menacingly.
“Ah said that there’s nothin’ in yer head worth worryin’ ‘bout damagin’.”
“Okay, that’s it!” Rainbow pushed up a pair of imaginary sleeves and prepared herself to tackle Applejack at high speed before a voice caught her attention.
“What the hay is going on here!?” Both mares looked up at the source and saw Post Haste perched atop a tree, looking down on them in confusion.
“Ah caught her sleepin’ in one of the trees,” Applejack responded. “And Ah thought Ah told ya that yer not welcome here no more,” she added, glaring at the stallion.
“Still upset about that, huh?” Postie replied nervously, rubbing at the back of his head.
“Yes Ah am still upset about that! Applebloom is much too young to have ta know ‘bout the birds and the bees!”
“How were we meant to know that she would take the Crusaders into that barn?” Rainbow retorted. “That’s not our fault.”
“So ya think that justifies the fact that you two were trespassing on mah private property and doing that? Really?”
“I think we’re just lucky the Crusaders think we were wrestling,” Postie said. “Dunno how long that’s gonna last...”
“Damn straight yer lucky,” Applejack replied, shooting the stallion the kind of glare that was known to have killed crop-stealing varmints in the past. “Now for the last time, get offa mah property!”
“Before I go, I have a message for Big Macintosh,” Postie said, hoping he hadn’t blanched under the murderous stare the farmer was giving him.
“What is it?”
“The private kind,” the mailpony replied, sounding more confident that he felt. “So, if you could tell me where I can find him...”
“He was over fixin’ the barn. The one Applebloom found you two in,” she answered harshly.
“Thanks,” Postie replied, eager to leave the presence of the unhappy farmer as soon as he could.
It didn’t take him long to locate the big red pony. Like Applejack had said, he was by the barn, a hammer in his mouth and a number of nails resting next to him. “Hey, Big Mac!” he called out, waving a hoof to get his attention.
The stallion looked up and nodded back at his friend. “Howdy, Postie,” he said when the pegasus landed.
“I wanna hang around, trust me, but I’m worried your sister will attack me if I do,” Postie replied, nervously looking around.
“She still upset about what you two did in the barn?” the farmpony asked calmly.
“Yeah.” Postie raised his head and thought about something. “Aren’t you upset about this?”
“Ah was,” Big Macintosh replied with a shrug as he walked to the other side of the barn. “Nothin’ Ah can do about it though, so no point in stayin’ angry.”
“That’s why I like you,” the pegasus replied, following the farmer. “You’re logical. You know there’s no point in being angry, so you stop. It’d be a lot easier if Applejack were like you.”
That comment made the stallion chuckle. “That just ain’t gonna happen, though. She’s too stubborn to change her mind, and you know that.”
“True,” Postie replied. “Anyway, there was a reason I came over here.” The pegasus looked around to make sure there weren’t any nosy ponies trying to eavesdrop on them. “Fluttershy wants you to go to her house tonight. Make sure you’re alone.”
Big Macintosh seemed incredibly pleased with that. “Thanks, Postie. Ah’ll make sure to do that.”
“Okay then. I’ll get going before Applejack decides to tie me to a tree and use my head for practice.”
“You do that,” Big Macintosh said, the smile still playing on his lips as the pegasus disappeared.
Not long after Post Haste had gone, Applejack came into view, angrily muttering to herself. Big Macintosh couldn’t hear what she was saying, but it was pretty obvious what it was. After all, she’d been going on about it for the last two weeks.
“You really should calm down, AJ,” the stallion said when she came into earshot.
“And why should Ah do that?” she asked her brother, still upset.
“Because it’s affecting yer work. And it certainly can’t be good for you,” he replied calmly.
“If Rainbow and that damn stallion hadn’t gone and done that in the barn, Ah wouldn’t be upset in the first place!” Applejack replied angrily, resisting the urge to buck the barn and undo a good portion of her brother’s hard work.
Big Macintosh couldn’t hep but raise an eyebrow. “Maybe that’s the problem. Yer jealous of Rainbow.”
The mare stared at her brother, confused. “Now why would Ah be jealous of her for?”
“I dunno. Maybe cuz she has a coltfriend and you don’t?” He asked her in such a calm, non-snide way that it took her a moment to realise what he had actually said.
“What?” Applejack asked back. “Ah don’t need a coltfriend, and Ah definitely ain’t jealous.” She finished the statement with a laugh that only served to reassure her brother that she was indeed lying.
“Uh-huh,” Big Macintosh said, unconvinced. “Well,” he said carefully, “maybe you’d be more relaxed if ya didn’t work so hard and found yerself a stallion.” He walked off as his sister began to splutter in a mix of anger and shock. By the time she could get a coherent word out, Big Macintosh was already back at the house.
“Hey, Rainbow?” Postie called out when he returned to the cloud house.
“Upstairs!” came the reply, muffled by several layers of cloud.
Postie went up to the source. Now, compared to how it had been the first time he had seen it, the kitchen was spotless and actually resembled a kitchen, as opposed to the compost heap it had once been. He passed the kitchen and found himself in the bedroom he shared with her. “I need to ask you something.” Then he realised that Rainbow was nowhere to be seen. “Rainbow?” Then he noticed the sound of running water.
“In here!” she replied. Postie stepped into what could be called a bathroom. In reality, it was a sectioned-off area of the top floor that was used for showering and other such business. The ‘shower’ was nothing more than a raincloud that somehow produced warm water, which Rainbow Dash was standing under. “What is it?” she asked.
Postie fought against his wings to stop them from rising. The way her mane hung over her face was too alluring for its own good. The way the water shimmered on her slim muscular body was almost too much for him. What sealed it was the look on Rainbow’s face when she realised what was going through Postie’s mind.
“It can wait,” he said as he joined her under the cloud.
After what shall only be described as a long, steamy session in the shower, both pegasi eventually emerged from the small shower-room. “I think we did something wrong,” Postie said.
“What do you mean?” Rainbow asked, panting slightly.
“I feel dirtier now than I did going in.”
Rainbow laughed loudly at that. “What were ya gonna ask me about before?”
It took the stallion a moment to recall what had been preoccupying him earlier. “Oh. Right. Have you told your parents about us?” he asked as nonchalantly as he could.
“I did. Why?” Rainbow replied, worried at the direction the conversation seemed to be going.
“Oh thank Celestia,” Postie said, relieved. “For a while I was worried that your father was stalking me.”
“What?” Rainbow was alarmed, to say the least. Then the pieces clicked together. “Oh no,” she said as she face-hoofed. “He sent you a letter, didn’t he?”
“What does he want?”
“He invited us to visit. He wants to meet me,” he replied, sounding worried.
“He wants us to go all the way to Hippogriff?”
“Yeah,” Postie replied, trying his best to avoid a repeat of what had happened at the post office earlier that day. “Should we go?”
“Yeah,” Rainbow replied sadly. “And I wanted to do the Running of the Leaves again this year! I would’ve beaten AJ for sure!”
Postie simply raised an eyebrow as he trotted closer to the bed. “Anyway, he wants us to be there in a few days.” He jumped up onto the cloud bed and sighed. “I think we should go. I mean, I gotta meet them sooner or later. May as well get it over with.”
“I guess you’re right.” Rainbow joined him on the bed and yawned. “We’ll talk about it more in the morning.”
“If you get up early enough,” Postie muttered. Rainbow responded by smacking him in the back of the head with a hoof. “Ow!”
You people have enough imagination to guess what happened. I suggest you use it.