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Dakari-King Mykan

Joined November 2012
13 followers

Sequels

Stories (3)

  • My Brave Pony: Starfleet Magic III
    The exciting sequel. Features five different sub-plots!

    154,538 words · 402 views · 5 likes · 67 dislikes
  • My Brave Pony: Starfleet Humans
    Lightning shocks Twilight and her friends with an astonishing fact that he, too, had an adventure in the human world.
    15,376 words · 251 views · 3 likes · 36 dislikes
  • My Brave Pony: Starfleet Magic The Movie
    Queen Celestia gives birth to her and Grand Ruler Celesto's children, but a new eveil even, the son
    25,931 words · 1,100 views · 8 likes · 154 dislikes

Blog Posts (1)


Queen Celestia gives birth to her and Grand Ruler Celesto's children, but a new eveil even, the son of Discord comes to United Equestria seeking vengance for the death of his father and believes the ponies to all be evil creatures who must be eliminated and succeeds in severly crippling Starfleet, Now Lightning Twilight and their friends must seek out to restore their fallen might.

First Published
12th Nov 2012
Last Modified
21st Nov 2012

Comments ( 179 )

#1 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

HEEEEE'S BACK, FELLOWS! THE ONE, THE ONLY, DAKARI-KING MYKAN! THIS MASTERFUL IDIOT IS GOING TO WRITE A STUPID STORY ONCE AGAIN! :trollestia:

#2 · Chapter 1 · 98w, 2d ago · · 1 ·

Author's Notes:

Finally, I can make one of my Starfleet fics and change those ponies into something I can actually stomach instead of their ridiculous FIM concepts!

Uhh...Maybe I'm just confused but...If you think the ponies are ridiculous, why are you even here? This IS a site for FiM fans, you know.

#3 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · 1 ·

>>1603792 Research him on the internet.

#4 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

Fan/fic/ Theater 3000 has a finished riff of the first story and an unfinished one going of "My Brave Unicorn: Star Fleet Magic" and its sequel. I just checked with what we have - as in, the original FF.net docs, just with people inserting their own comments - to verify the genuine nature of the story.

This is not the real story and not the real Mykan. I'm pretty sure Mykan's grammar is better than this anyway, at least when it comes to chapter titles.

#5 · Chapter 1 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

If i had a "Kill it with fire!" gif, I would post it...

KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!

well... that works too...

#6 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1603809 Extraordinary. I was just about to say 'The tracks are rumbling, my good friend' when a notifictation came up saying it was actually just added to TWE.

Talk about timing?

#7 · Chapter 1 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

You know what's bad, besides all of your Mary Sues, Contrived Plot Devices, and horrible grammar and spelling mistakes? What's bad is that you think that just because you have these so called, "Nightmares,"  because of MLP that you have to write this crap down to deal with it. But, I know that this comment will get removed anyways because of your butthurt, so I'll say no more and just sit back and let professionals handle it. (Just so you know, I was a BBxTerra fan too but I got over it when Things Change happened. You should too. Just sayin.)

#8 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1603809

Really? This isn't the real Mykan? I swear somepony's really wanting to push buttons.

Edit:

I just checked his fanfiction.net page. That is him. I Repeat, That is him. We have a severe breach in the FIM Community people, battlestations. This is not a drill, I repeat this is not a drill!

#9 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1603825 I guess. I just stumbled upon this, left my comment and put it in the Skype chat. Pim's the one who added it.

#10 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

I'm not sure I get it.

What's this story about? Really?

#11 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

Okay, I am going to suck it my gut from seeing the first comment and read this fan fiction that everyone, oh so much, hates.

It seems like you are known to be a stupid ass, but this is my first time seeing you. I guess I can give you the honor of doing a review. Also, don't think I insulted you because I didn't. I simply reiterated what everyone else is saying. So, time to begin. Wish me luck boys!

From hell, to you, and back again,

Soto Gakoha, TWE Administrative 80's Gak Reaper

Sib
#12 · Chapter 1 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

Seriously, you need to practice some moderation ASAP.

#15 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · 1 ·

>>1603809

Mykans grammar is actually pretty bad...

#16 · Chapter 1 · 98w, 2d ago · 1 · 1 ·

I remember you...

Finally, I can make one of my Starfleet fics and change those ponies into something I can actually stomach instead of their ridiculous FIM concepts!

You know, the whole point behind FiM is the fucking pony concepts. If you don't like it...

GET THE FUCK OUT

#17 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1603918 I know. Trust me, I know. But at least it's better than whatever THIS is.

#18 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

So are we making Gak a thing now

#19 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

*reads description*

I thought OW was a fictional character.

#22 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

So, I guess the author here is an infamous drama llama from some other community? Given that I've never heard of you, Mykan, and that I'm not going to go research some FW-grade nonsense just to read a dumbfic, I'm just going to judge this on its merits.

Am I to take it that the purpose of this AU is to turn FiM into Voltron and have some Mary Sue dudes lording it over the regular cast? Do Celestia and Twilight spend the rest of the fic making sammiches in the kitchen?

Anyway, the grammar was kinda bad, the story is incomprehensible and dumb and your OCs are about as compelling as Mitt Romney.

#23 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

*naps fingers against his desk pondering how to answer*

Ok... I've read it, and while it is not the most horrible fic I have ever read, that honor belongs to the various "gangsta-English" Harry Potter fics, it is not the best by a long shot. I agree with Grammar, Spelling, and the Character comments the others have made. Also look at the summary, misspelled words jump out right off the bat, the fact you mentioned "four legged freaks" or "ridiculous FIM concepts" makes me wonder why you are even writing for MLP:FiM. Kind have to accept that the ponies are just that, ponies.

>>1603838  

The Royal Navy and my ship, the Concordiat is ready.

#24 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

Here, I will give you a front page review, because you need it, and I will also do a Chapter 1 review, because you need it. So this post is just the front page review, and I will give you a chapter review on the next on. Let's begin:

I will start with your title:

My brave pony: Starfleet Magic the Movie

First, you need to capitalize 'brave' and 'pony' because it's a title; they need to be like everything else in the title. (You're making them feel lonely as hell being lower than the rest of the words.) Done, now let's go to your tags & cover art:

The cover art scares me and the tags don't make it any better. You have a very pix-elated drawing, and it seems like that one on the ground is a human. So you need a human tag just because of that. If you want to attract better attention, use a better cover art, not one you happen to speed paint in 10 mins. without putting quality time and effort into it. The character tags scare me as well. You have an OC and Other tag along with the Mane 6 and Celestia. I am going to have to bring a bucket with me if I am going to need it. SPIKE!!! Get me my bucket!

:moustache:: It's right here! *hands Soto a bucket*

Soto: No, the red one.

:moustache:: Oh, okay. *grabs the red one and gives it to Soto*

Soto: Not that read one, the other red one.

:moustache:: Soto...

Soto: Fine, I'll take that red one. Anyways, time to get to the last part... the description!

Queen Celestia gives birth to her and Grand Ruler Celesto's foals, but a new eveil even, the son of Discord comes to United Equestria seeking vengance for the death of his father and believes the ponies to all be evil creatures who must be eliminated and succeeds in severly crippling Starfleet, Now Lightning Twilight and their friends must seek out to restore their fallen might.

You have got to be kidding me... This is beyond a run-on sentence to the point I not make it to the end of the sentence. Time to separate this gak! It's Princess Celestia, not Queen Celestia You need a comma after the first 'her' and 'Celesto's'. It's evil not eveil, and that second comma should be a period. Also, 'even' doesn't even belong in this sentence; change it. With these edits it should look like this:

Princess Celestia gives birth to her, and Grand Ruler Celesto's, foals, but a new evil has arisen.

The fact that you put 'Grand Ruler' makes this story automatically bad. Such a Gary Stu character that gak isn't funny anymore. I love how people make their characters Gary Stu's because that just makes it easier to prove how weak they really are. Sadly, I don't think I will make it to the first chapter; I already know how it is going to turn out from just reading the first sentence of the description, but I will finish this front page review because you obviously need it. Time to copy and paste the rest of the paragraph below.

the son of Discord comes to United Equestria seeking vengance for the death of his father and believes the ponies to all be evil creatures who must be eliminated and succeeds in severly crippling Starfleet, Now Lightning Twilight and their friends must seek out to restore their fallen might.

Oh, how terrific, another son of Discord. This is going to be amazing! So, capitalize 'the' and get rid of the fact that this evil villain is the son of Discord. Just see the son of Discord, and Grand Ruler, in the same story just makes this story less pleasing for me to read. I believe I am now 120% sure that I am not going to read the first chapter just because of the first one sentence and a fourth. Anyways, get rid of the 'United' because this is not America, it is Equestria. Dear Celestia, this story is getting worse by the second, and I haven't even gotten to the story yet; more or less the third sentence. 'Vengeance' not 'vengance'. Death of his father? Discord is a spirit, as he said in the show; he is already dead. Research your characters better dude. Here, I will give you a youtube link showing what he said.

The definition of spirit: The nonphysical part of a person that is the seat of emotions and character; the soul. They are not living forms, which means they are already dead. You should just end the sentence there because I need to start a new paragraph pointing out many mistakes, and I don't like walls of text.

believes the ponies to all be evil creatures who must be eliminated and succeeds in severly crippling Starfleet, Now Lightning Twilight and their friends must seek out to restore their fallen might.

Start off with 'He'. You need a 'that' before the 'the', the 'to' should be 'are', and you need to get rid of the 'be'. There are grammatical errors beyond belief. I might need to get Twilight down here to teach you a lesson, Trixie.

It is 'severely' not 'severly'. End the sentence there; replace that comma with a period because this is just ridiculous.

Now times for the last part of one paragraph! Do you see how long this review is? It was mostly on just the one paragraph. Time to get this paragraph over with:

Now Lightning Twilight and their friends must seek out to restore their fallen might.

You need a comma after 'Now'. Lightning Twilight? Good to know that you changed their names to something at is worse than mentions Gilda. I might actually like her now because of this... Nah, it went away, I still don't like her. Comma after Twilight, and it is 'her' not 'their'. You only mentioned one person, not multiple. Seek out what? You just skipped an entire word there to make that last sentence make sense. What are they seeking that will help them restore their 'might', even though these fake characters couldn't accomplish what Spike did, with the assistance of a wife missile, in Season 3 Episode 2 of MLP: FiM.

Sweet Luna, that is the end of the first paragraph. Opinion, it sucks. You need to think of a better story idea because this one is not going to fly well at all. It looks like its already doing a shitty job as it is. You have fake characters that can't save the world of a fake combination of America and Equestria. A Mary Sue Alicorn OC that is apparently strong than everyone else in the show. Not to mention, you called Princess Celestia a Queen, because she apparently married this Mary Sue character despite the fact she could send her to the moon without twitching her head. Now, I will get to your second paragraph, which is your Author's Notes. This is going to be amazing,

You guys made fun of me all the time, and mocked my other fanfic. Now I will give you the real deal. Soon Celestia will walk only on two legs and all those four legged freaks either follow me or die!

It is 'make fun of me' not 'made fun of me'. I wonder why they are making fun of you, but I think I can figure it out without using the one-third of the brain that I am already using. Mocked you fanfics? Maybe you should make better stories with common sense. You need a comma after 'now'. I am not seeing the real deal; I see a bunch of foolishness in this story. If you are trying to impress people, it is not working, and you will need to try to rethink your approach, badly.Now to make a new paragraph for the rest of this because I am just dying from reading it.

Soon Celestia will walk only on two legs and all those four legged freaks either follow me or die!

Celestia won't walk on two legs because she is a pony. Besides, it is better to walk on four legs than it is two because you get more strength that way. So, that alone shows that Celestia is physically stronger than your OC because he walks on two legs instead of four. Maybe you should try walking on four legs, you might get things done fast, and you won't have to worry about your American Equestia being dominated by a simple villain such as this one.

Four-legged freaks? Look who's talking. You are in a world, full of animals, which walk on four legs, and you walk on two, but you are the one calling them freaks? Wow, you must have been dropped too many times as a baby because you are mixing up everything in this world. Oh wait, it is an American Equestria, so there might be humans there. This story just keeps getting worse, but it's okay because I am getting a laugh out of it. Follow me or die? Hmm... Someone, who still follows the laws of physics, believes that he can kill the Mane 6?

You seemed to be outmatched. Pinkie already has the upper hand over you. I would like to mention how much better the Mane 6 are to your OC, but I think that is a bit of over kill. Instead, I will just mention this: Elements of Harmony, the end, you can't do anything about it.

Well, I am sure we all learned a valuable lesson today. If you are going to make a Mary Sue Alicorn OC, make sure you doing it right, or it will haunt you forever.

Thank you Pinkie Pie for clearing that up. So, I am done, and I am not going to spend another second one this site, so I will now leave and just let everyone else deal with it. Forget the Chapter 1 review, the front page was good enough for me to quit. Try harder, guy, because what you are doing now isn't working, and it will never work as long as you continue to do it. Whatever, I am out.

From hell, to you, and back again,

Soto Gakoha, TWE Administrative 80's Gak Reaper

Cynewulf
Story Approver
#25 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

This is the worst synopsis of all time. Like, literally the worst.

Your story is bad and you should feel bad.

#26 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1604093 Make sure you back that the fuck up.

#27 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

Whether you are the lolcow known as Dakari-King Mykan or just a troll trying to make fun of him doesn't matter.

This story sucks and so do you. I don't have the time to do an in depth review and maybe that's for the best because I wouldn't want you running home and crying to Mommy. But trust me, come this afternoon and I'm done what I need to do, you're getting it with both barrels. :pinkiehappy:

#28 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1604093

Dude... you take your job seriously, don't you?

#29 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1604152 Troll. I've seen the REAL story, and this ain't it.

#30 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

Oh no...

It's YOU.

Or at least it might be. If you are...

I've read your stories. I also riffed on all of them.

Your spelling makes the grammar nazi inside of me cringe.

Your turn the well-written characters of FIM into shadow of their selves and replace them with your OC, who have all the personality of cardboard cutouts. (You could switch all of their names and I might not tell)

The blatent copying of things from other shows you use really doesn't help.

And the worst part? All of this could have had potential.

The entire concept of another world of ponies having their own adventures and learning valuable lessons about the important things in life, while also fighting against a common enemy could have been made entertaining (it worked for My Little Pony with FiM) if you did not depend so much on clichés and flat writing, it may have worked.

I'm not going to read this or complain further but I just want you to know that you're accomplishing nothing by writing these stories. I'm sorry to say this but it's the cold truth. Whatever potential this story had is long gone and you're just beating a dead horse (pun not intended). Just because you don't like the show doesn't mean you should go to these extremes. I hope one day you realize this and stop the madness.

Love and tolerate

~Nexas

#31 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1604156 Actually, this was all for the hell of it. I don't use pictures of videos in my reviews. My serious reviews are just text only. This is the second time I have had so much fun writing a review. I have fun writing my other review, but this, by far, is my favorite review.

#32 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

Ponies in space... so much raw potential just squandered.

Something inside of me died today.

#33 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1604093

Well... damn, imagined how long you comment would be if you read the story. Yeah your analysis is right. Also... please just answer this question, in in Tirek's Nine Hells is Gak?

#34 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1604218

GAK is GAK

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/gak

#35 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

What the...

You guys made fun of me all the time, and mocked my other fanfic. Now I will give you the real deal. Soon Celestia will walk only on two legs and all those four legged freaks either follow me or die!

So he is trying to prove that he is a great writer, by putting this on his story? :rainbowhuh:

There's something wrong here... :pinkiesick:

Sorry, but if you are coming to a community, and are shoving this arrogance down on our throats, get real, we know that you are just trolling and wanting attention, the wrong kind of attention, so please stop, or go find someone else to kill your masochist urges... :pinkiesick:

Soon Celestia will walk only on two legs and all those four legged freaks either follow me or die!

And please, don't insult our fandom just out of frustration. Freaks? Please... :facehoof:

Like Soto said, I am not wasting anymore minutes with this bullshit. :eeyup:

#36 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1604218 I do this for a partial living. I try to be as accurate as possible, and when I am not accurate, I make up for it. Also, the comment would be worth half of the page with the story open. Lastly, did you see MLP via Livesteam, or did you watch it straight from the Hub? If you didn't watch it from the Hub, then here is a link. This was played about 5 or 6 times during the Season Premier, and people are now making a lot of panels and stuff on it because it was just hilarious.

#37 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1604235

That what it is? Epona and Gaea that stuff's been around since I was Elementary School and now... *bangs head against desk* Stupid internet and stupid memes

>>1604241

No I watched EqD's HDYouTube link without commercials. I know what Gak is, I'm a child of the 90s that grew up watching Nickelodeon.

#38 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1604250 Oh okay, me too. I am a child of the 90's Nick was one of the best channels back in the days, and now it is the Hub. So much has changed!:pinkiegasp:

#39 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1604170

Really? A little checking brought this up: Click

Story looks the same to me.

That still doesn't mean this is the same lolcow, but the story appears to be the same.

#40 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1604287 ...

Fuck.

Another one.

A new one.

FUCK.

I TAKE IT BACK. REAL DEAL. TAKE COVER.

#41 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1604301

This is legit? Hell yes! I'm goin' in!

#42 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

I do have a question for the author of this fic, and it really has nothing to do with the story it has to do with your name.

Why spell tangerine with a "y"? It's spelled "mikan" not "mykan" and what's with the kanji on your chest? 闇? Gloom? Disorder? Get Dark? Noise between the gates? Help a guy out here with your intended meaning.

#43 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1604287>>1604301

Mind explaining this to the uninitiated?

#44 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

Mykan has confirmed that this isn't his account.

#47 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

That is all.

#48 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1604389

Wow... It's worse than rawhavok...

#50 · Chapter 2 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

So, I was about to bring down the Celestia-approved, grand stamp of sh:yay:t on this story (can we make one of those?), when I 'stumbled' across this fic's origins. Okay, I googled the hell out of it in the middle of my initial review to find the answer. Turns out, for those of you who don't know, this fiction, or at least the fiction that this one is based off of/plagiarizing/whatever  was written by Satan if the man downstairs suffered multiple frontal lobotomies with that weird, pointy trident of his. It was essentially one, giant trollfic with the sole purpose of letting the author express his burning hatred of FiM, and friendship in general, in literary form. The end result was a story that had f:yay:ck all to do with the show save for names, with bland characters, a sh:yay:t plot, and more contradictories than a (insert edgy analogy here). It's actually hilariously ironic; this story was supposed to prove that friendship was unnecessary for success, despite friendship appearing to be the answer to damn near every, single problem in the plot.

I probably just wasted your time since I just gave a really, really bad summary of everything >>1604389 linked to, but I still found it pretty humorous, and that's a rarity for a trollfic. Don't get me wrong, it's still a sh:yay:t story, but it's one that I was able to smile at with a smug sense of superiority. So, take this thumbs down, mister author, and shove it firmly up where the sun don't shine.

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