Interesting so far.

Just.. well, personally i hope D wont be a overpowered god.

I hope D will act with subtlety, sneakiness and such to spread chaos (unlike big D's approach wich was clever but massively obvious chaos) . Self-restraint (to avoid detection/suspicion) and smart and subtle chaos like a trickster.  

@twad

Well, it will be interesting because as you could see, part of him enjoys this newfound power while at the same time, part of him feels this power is consuming him and robbing him of who he is. He will cause chaos, but Celestia and the others will catch one when they see Discord's statue gone. Will be wondering how much of Season 3 will have an impact though I will probably do the Crystal Empire arc.

interesting story so far. You earned yourself a thumbs up.

Your pacing seems too rushed and sporatic, while the dialog doesn't seem evenly spaced or organized either (hard to keep track of who is actually talking).

Scraping off the top layer of details from the prolog just make this seem like a "copy/paste" set-up taken from "Discord's heir".... Deal with Discord, changeling chaos, chaotic behavior in front of statue, (how you describe the) rush of raw power. The only notable difference I see, is the first contact.

Sorry but this isn't my cup of tea, so you won't get my 'track' or 'like'

>>16060431606043

Well we are all entitled to our opinions. Thank you for your criticisms. I will try and improve on my writing though I will say that do not be so hasty to judge. We were all beginners.

>>16060671606067 If my criticisme comes to benefit, then my work here is done. Yes, everyone have to start somewhere, and with practise comes perfection.

But as I said, for me it feels just too similar from the starting point, that I can truly enjoy it.

Still I would like to wish you good luck with the rest of the story.

Thule out!

Perhaps i shall continue reading this intriguing Story Please Continue

Well, pehaps I will go back and change the Prologue to be more original. Sometimes all you need is a little time off to go back and revise your work.

you shall continue this, then continue some more.

or else

Image: http://e621.net/data/be/e3/bee3856700a8284be1e1dfb1ffa06515.jpg?1349420184

>>16060671606067

may I add also that.....well 'D anomaly' is a being of chaos now....the story is kinda improved by your chaotic style....OVERAL I APPROVE HIGHLY!

geniusly hilarious lawl........D anomaly practically kidnapped Twilight.....and did a crude drawing on her leg, NICE keep it up!

This story is like the most delicious apple I have ever eaten off a peanut!!

I like it!

moar please

Why do I get the feeling the entire chapter wasn't means to be in italics?

>>16234071623407

Thank you for catching that

Didn't notice that at first.

>>16234071623407 i didn't even notice till you pointed it out... i'm an idiot

lol wait what? YES maybe PERHAPS .... CONTINUE PLZ

Dun...DUn...duuuuuuun!

HAHEM!.......fish fish fish fish fish fish

Lulz!!! And now they know how much of an assholes they are!!

The Changeling should have a wonderfully ironic name. And in that spirit I believe that shle ahoys be named Laatikko, which is Finnish for box.

This is for two reasons, one we news more Finnish in fics,  and two you could say he put a box in a jar.

This comment wwas brought to you by my crappy andriod, which is now dead.

Jeff.

I rate this story...

/

(5/5)

Good work, keep it up.

>>16417481641748

Interesting name, though his role will be a pretty interesting one, especially with what will happen in later chapters.

>>16420431642043 Jack(-in-a-box)?

Yes I'm back... and I am pleasantly surprised at that!

Good Job!

Image: https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS_D0JedygZsWBTBHIkiDHaEGBpcnWLwNT1LOf0LHXaw_OhU_6Zaw

Great job indeed!

I've been reading this from day one. I've noticed that the 'accidents' have been growing less and less, also descriptions are becoming more detailed!

i concur for box

>>16430841643084

Thanks, I will keep trying my best to avoid accidents and to improve my writing

>>16420431642043 When in doubt, name someone after an inanimate object in a foriegn laungauge.

>>16441471644147

Well, I suppose I will wait. Meanwhile, I notice no one has commented on the 'lair' thing. I thought someone would say something like: 'Make the library a floating island like Angel Island' or 'An airship' or something by now

>>16441621644162 Or an entirely steampunk floating fortress, powered by glowing hello Science Juice.

But yeah, that's kinda odd.

Edit: Actually, I could see it now, haphazardly placed engines rotors, and bat wings made from steel frames and canvas, with massive pipes full of the glowing yellow substance.

Hmm…I'm not very good with names but I have suggestion for the place.

What a about a techno team park, with all Anime and other video games as theme for the place. D bedroom, (that will be the arcade), will be fill with al source of consoles, videogames, to giants tv and an entire wall be a Computer scream.

Twilight bedroom (that will be the house of laugh), will have a theme similar of Dexter lab, with a series of book shelfs that when take one book out it will open a secret door to a lab, witch connect to every other attraction on the park .

The changeling can live in the center of the hall of mirrors.  

For the changeling i suggest Chuck Testa and for their "house" a Spaceship like the Destiny

Image: http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/214/0/a/___the_pale_king____by_hylian_of_ooo-d59i3za.jpg

Image: http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/323/9/d/do_you_know_what_ice_king_means__by_worthikids-d4go4iz.png

Image: http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/290/4/3/when_i_don__t_remember_you_by_gohoshisurunyan-d5i3orv.jpg

^After you said Simon I though of these.

As for a house how about something like Howl's Moving Castle with a steampunk feel?

Name: Iaiunus?

>>16457581645758

For catching that reference, I will put you as a cameo. I do like the Howl's Moving Castle. I prefer clockpunk over steampunk though. Also, unique name. You may have won yourself a double or triple cameo. Congrats!

Awww no D Anomaly in this chapter. Still good though.

YEAH!!!!

Cangeling name.... Chuck Testa!

Changeling Name- Inso or Inse or even Derrick the Magic Changeling.

Changeling name: Flipperdoodle, because D Anomay is an insane powerhouse.

The main idea, Twilight's friends and the Star bros. try to find her. The Star bros. succeed but hang around them for a while. Her friends keep missing them but run into D Anomay all alone but he just fools them into thinking he is a random ape reject (Instant Fluttershy pity/care) and has a bit of fun with them. Flipperdoodle (if you choose that to be his/her name) will eventually help D Anomaly with pulling pranks and such.

That preview of the next chapter you gave us is probably leading into an already thought out event, so no comment.

I hope my suggestions help you write a bit, I really do like this story.

What is the question of life if 42 is the answer?

We may never know because the dang Vogons blew up our planet!

Twilight gazed at the being. “How did you get here? What do you want?” she asked him. “How did you get here? I saw that princess banish you here and I know your friends, brother and mentor left you, so why don’t you share with me what happened?” D asked her. Normally, Twilight would wonder how this stranger knew of what happened, but that wasn’t important right now. D leaned down and she pressed her horn to his forehead.

Two things here:

1) When a new character speaks, you ALWAYS put it in a new line.

2) Twilight just injected memories, including personal ones from her fillyhood of time spent with Cadance, into the mind of a complete stranger of an unknown species?  It doesn't really seem exactly like something that Twilight would do.  Wouldn't she just tell him what she felt that he needed to know?  Even with the circumstances as they were, I just don't think that Twilight would have just magically shared her memories with someone she know nothing about.

Still an interesting chapter though.

The symbol for balance; I like it!  What I do not like is the idea of Twilight belonging to D..  Well now to find out what happens next.

It was O.K..

I just noticed that we can thumb-up or thumb-down comments now.

>>18015971801597 Actually, that is a modified symbol for 'Discordism.' Besides, do not assume many things are of certainty here. I have surprises in store...

yay

Interesting...a moving castle....be sure to write the next one as soon as possible,I'm highly interested in this.

WRITE MOAAAAAAR YOU USELESS SLAVE NO LIFE FOR YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE MOAAAAAR

D is planning to make his own army? Also, did he mention that his magic is also corrupting his thoughts, or he is waiting for the right moment to tell that to Twilight? You know, don't overcharge the poor mare with to much information  

Thanks XD

Tho I always find my user name to always be out of place when used in stories just because of how it pronounce

If anyone wonders where the name came from see this Link

>>17984291798429

The Question is the primordial forces of creation multiplied by each other Chaos X Order

7 Elements of Chaos/Disharmony (7 Sins?) X 6 Elements or Order/Harmony = 42

So the changeling chose him for their new leader? Cool

Also the only clockwork castle I know is the castle of Nox

>>18598601859860 Well, she is aware the magic is doing something to him, but she did tell him that he controls the flow of the magic.

>>18607811860781  But what does that MEAN?!  What about the primordial forces of creation?  There has to be more to it than that.

Why am I thinking of the Flood from Halo?

MOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR

There are many small errors, such as switching tenses, that you may want to find someone to fix.

>>19829241982924

Yes, admittingly so. I always wondered if it wrong to speak in past tense alot. I will try my best to look for a beta reader. Anyone want to volunteer themselves or suggest someone?

Its looks like Diego is winning the battle over his head, and by the looks of how the chapter end he got himself another ally…yeah he is slowly proving himself and to the rest of the planet that he is a good person, maybe the good side of the coin…you know, bad and disharmony chaos and good and stable chaos.

P.S: Did Elder will meet Philomina in some point? Because those two as a pair, sounds interesting, especially of what results can come from them  

>>19830741983074 Yeah. I am not sure of their connection yet, but I am implying Elder is just as old as Philomena if not older. Believe me though, there are some shocking truths that I have planned

>>19830901983090

Awesome, I cant wait to see the next chapter

Moar, moar, moar, moar!!!!!!!!!!

Ugh that preview!

Finally gonna see the reactions of them :D

*enter fangasm*

What Soul Reaper typed.

Use the light and love within you to ensure King Sombra does not

Use the light and love within you to ensure King Sombra does not... use the light and love within himself?

>>21728962172896

That's what was said in the show. I think she meant that the Crystal Heart returned and to use the love to ensure that King Sombra doesn't return.

nice gurren laggan reference

>>21733912173391 I don't remember the exact wording in the episodes, but I believe it. I just like taking advantage of open-ended statements.

>>21738682173868

Thanks, expect more later on. Lotta references will be placed.

Those his intervention means that they will put his image in one of the windows in Canterlot?

Also is look like Diego is winning the battle with insanity and is using his magic for good.

Did you are planning to make the ep with Discord reformed but with him?

P.S: You already know what are going to do to the changelings? Because if not, I had an idea that you could use

>>21743512174351

Oh no. Also, I decided to not give him a name. Diego as his name is no longer canon and will later call himself just Anomaly. Makes him more relatable I figure.  Also, no... After Magic Duel, things will quickly escalate to the not good statemenet.

And yes, I do have plans for the changelings.

>>21743932174393

Good, is looks like the oh so waited, Jekel and Hide fight is near the horizon. I hoped friendship and perhaps son royal interventions will help him. But we all have to wait. But as a wise insane men once said.

I don't believe in Diego, I believe in the Diego that believe in his friends that believe in him  

>>21744232174423 Jekyll and Hyde... oh dude, not close...

I got big plans. So get your friends to read it. Advertise the the applesauce out of this so I can get more commentary

I must admit that I am a little disappointed that he became friends with them just like that, it seems so 'easy'. Nevermind I'll await the next chapter

>>24205192420519

True, but why should they be suspicious of him? He hasn't done anything wrong. Nevertheless, there are more or less a few doubts about him that could be cleared up.

However, approaching someone you don't know with hostility isn't exactly a good idea.

interesting. I honestly thought that the Princesses would have given him a little bit of a hard time, but then again he didn't do anything 'bad'. Ugh, I don't know. Can't wait to see what happens next.

>>24209352420935 It's diplomacy and politeness. Unlike Discord, who shows off his chaos, Anomaly is inclided to keep it to himself and just not bother people. Trying to make an enemy of the newcomer by giving a hard time isn't a smart idea.

Is Clockwork Castle supposed to look like this:

Image: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_sy3UEYGx4HI/TAa3tr_-idI/AAAAAAAAAvc/ngWGoi7_mNA/s1600/howls.jpg

>>24209832420983 Ah, it makes more sense when you put it that way. Personally though, I hate politics. Too much back stabbing and deceit around every corner for my tastes.

>>24210152421015 An inspiration, but no. It has sturdier legs, less smog and more clockwork-ness.

Along with King Sombra's horn, and Queen Chrysalis' hair and slime/goop, I think you should add a couple more of D's inventions into the mix. Also, I just realized, due to the fact that the Empathy Heart/Gem/Crystal/Thing gives off emotions, couldn't that be a endless food source for changelings?

Pinkie Pie was doing her best not to bawl like she did when Luna and Celestia were reunited. Rainbow Dash was furiously trying to wipe any loose ears while Applejack adjusted her hat to not show her wet eyes. Rarity smiled tearfully at the scene along with Fluttershy and Spike.

Um... what?

And so a beautifull romance begins.... Maaaaaaaaaybe

>>24223842422384

I don't think so. I saw how the Changelings devour love. It looks like they are sucking souls. And that was a typo which I will fix.

>>24241552424155 Nope, just something I added for the sake of humor

>>24247282424728

It looks like they are sucking souls, but they are actually sucking emotions. Due to the tack that the Empathy (insert here) is constantly making and giving off emotions, couldn't you just set the rock to "love" and have an all-you-can-eat changeling buffet? I mean, love is love, who cares if it came from a living thing or a magically enchanted rock? The love from the Empathy (insert here) might have a bit of a salty/coppery after-taste, I suppose. Plus, it would give you an excuse as to why D's changelings haven't starved to death yet.

He is going to change is way to speaking? I thought he finally got control about his corruption. Please, don't make him more insane, I like him being cryptical and just be old D Anomaly, I suppose the redemption episode of Discord will not be seeing as well, correct?  

Oh and where you hinting some possible romance between him and Celestia?

>>24270092427009 I suppose, though I implied they have been more or less in a stasis of rest. How often they need to feed is something that I am not sure of.

>>24280152428015 Not for a while will we see Discord's redemption. And I mean a long, long while.

Meanwhile, that was more of a gag with Anomaly and Celestia

So, he doesn't interact with other ponys out of caution? Also, because he create this new race of ponys, did they still are loyal to him, or they will forget had being a changeling at some point? I'm kind of curious, how does "Magmus D. Core" (or, "Earthlan D Core or Landus D. Core) " see D. Anomaly? As a father? even his king? And I notice you never said that he use all of Chrysalis jello, did you have plans to make a Queen of the Burrow ponys too?  

P.S: In witch point did D. Anomaly got a hair from both the princess?

A student also? hmmmm... No Trixie!

>>25649722564972

They are thier own ponies. They do respect Anomaly for creating him (the D will eventually stop being used) and the Prince will view Anomaly as a father figure. He got the hair during the party a chapter ago.

>>25653162565316

We'll see...

>>25657312565731 forget what he just said, let it be Trixie and Anomaly.

>>25657292565729

Ah, I see. But I assume the D in his clothes and I suppose decorating his castle will remain, right? Or he will also change his symbol?

Also, boy did the princesses will be meeting with a surprise. Je I wonder if he want Luna as a teacher for himself or for someone he has in mind.

Oh well now that his project is over, I can't wait what he will be doing next. Perhaps spent time with the princesses and learn more about Equestria.

P.S: Did you will show us sea ponys latter own in the story?

>>25658862565886

Seaponies will appear in one of the later books. Book 1 is arguably the shortest of the books. But the storm is coming...

>>25660272566027

Oh cool, and its a relive that he only stop using the D and its not like his mind its still spinning out of control.

And I'm curious to see those running jokes where everypony tease Celestia and Anomali into being an item. Something tell me even Discord will tease them

>>25660712566071

Probably just a one time gag XD.