Chapter I- First Moves
Chapter I: First Moves
"What the hell am I doing?"
For what seemed like the hundredth time, the lone stranger, revealed to be a human, asked himself quietly as he walked through a chamber. All that was in front was a chamber was a simple door. He repeated his instructions.
1- Enter the palace undetected
2- Find the chamber where these 'Elements of Harmony' reside
3- Infiltrate and steal the Elements
4- Cause a schism in the bearers to weaken the Elements
5- Bring them to the statue
It all seemed so simple... yet the dread within him grew faster than ravenous kudzu. He somehow managed to sneak in and make his way. He then saw the door. The voice told him only the princess could unlock it, but if there was an emergency, the bearers could get it... that meant there must be a key or something...
He looked around before he stomped his foot in frustration. Wait, did he hear something? He stomped his foot again. There it was again. He leaned down and tapped the carpet before finding a small hidden panel. It was a key in the shape of a horn. He grabbed it before he placed it into the slot and opened it, revealing the Elements. He grabbed the case before he scrammed, careful to put everything back where he found it.
He then heard talking. Lotsa of it and loud. It sounded serious too. He ran and hid, holding his breath and praying he wasn't found. Rather than paying attention, he focused on looking around for a possible escape route. After a painfully long minute, he exhaled before he turned to see what he missed.
He saw an orantely decorated room... something for a wedding perhaps. It was bare, with only what looked like a lavender unicorn crying. TIme paused for him; there was a unicorn there. His first impulse was to comfort, but he couldn't. She was one of those Bearers. He recognized her from the stain-glass window from seeing her and her friends against the creature in stone. His instructions were to cause a schism; it looked like he really didn't have to do anything. He was carrying these important things and he already been here for too long. He made note to come back later.
He ran with the chest back to the gardens where the mismatched being stood. He presented the statue.
"Well?"
Silence.
He picked up the tiara and saw his reflection on the pink gem. His hands began to shake with anxiety. His composure slipped as the doubt, frustration and confusion of the entire situation began to show. The amnesia, being stranded in an unfamilar place and the possibility he was going insane began to get to him.
"I WANT MY MEMORY BACK!" he shouted, at the end of his rope before he banged the Element of Magic on the statue. He dropped it the moment he covered his mouth with his hands. He then faced the statue, which had a crack.
One, then two, then four and then several more...
Until the being inside was free.
Tripping back and landing on his back, the human crawled away in shock at the being in front.
"Well hello there. I do have to thank you for getting me out. So kind of you," Discord said as he faced the boy with his misshapen yellow eyes.
"Y-yeah. Now... give me my memory," he shouted, his bravado intact. Discord rolled his eyes. "Really, you free the Spirit of Chaos and that's what you want?" he said annoyed. "Then again, you did free me. However, being in stone for sooooo long..... I need a break," Discord said before he summoned himself a Hawaiian shirt, a straw hat and sunglasses. "I'm going on vacation! Meanwhile, why don't you go and cause some trouble? Here, I'll even give you some of my power to have some fun. I'll even give you your memory back. Have fun, my little anomaly," he said before he vanished with a snap of his fingers.
Everything came back at him. His childhood, his adolescence, his name, his likes and dislikes...
Oh god.
Oh god.
"WHAT HAVE I DONE?!" he wailed in complete horror and regret when he realized what actions he took while his memory was gone.
He. Freed. Discord.
The Elements of Harmony were gone and Discord was free and it was his fault. No. No. No!
He then went and bit his arm. The fresh sensation of pain shocked him out of his downward spiral of self-blame and he got a hold of himself. He replayed the events of the last few hours... He was in Equestria, in Canterlot... the thing with Twilight, the Elements gone and Discord free...
Wait, he got some of Discord's powers...
He looked at his hands before he snapped his fingers. Relief overflooded him to see the Elements safe and sound. He teleported them back into their room before he remembered something else.
Twilight Sparkle.
He needed to see Twilight.
He remembered how she was and needed to know more. The boy vanished before he reappeared where the practice was held. There he saw Twilight and the Princess Cadance come in. She smiled before she made green flames appear and caused Twilight to sink into the ground. The lone audience member raised his eyebrow in surprise at this turnaround.
Oh, this wasn't good at all. Think, think, think...
Wait, he had Discord's powers...
He could do anything...
Including make things right again...
"If he wants Chaos, Discord will get it. He picked the wrong person to try and make his pawn," the human said. He bit his arm on impulse. Despite looking seemignly calm, he was barely keeping himself together. The sharp pain helped him snap from his stupor and remained focus on the task, repressing the whirlwind of emotions and questions regarding everything about this scenario. Looking around, he approached the podium. He took a breath.
When in doubt, approach life like a video game and or cartoon.
With that undying piece of wisdom, he took out a mallet and hit the podium.
Instead of crumbling, it bounced while squeaking and a blue switch appeared from the ceiling. he approached the switch and jumped on it. Where the ring of green flames were, a green pipe rose.
“Gotta love the classics,” he said as he dove in, a retro video game sound playing. He was not sure if this was an effect of the magic or him using his imagination as a tether to his formal self.
The pipe surfaced from the ceiling of the caverns. He stretched his ear to listen. He heard the Princess Cadance taunt Twilight. However, he then heard faint sobbing. He turned to the direction and parted the walls as if they were curtains for a moment. He saw… Princess Cadance?
However, she was dirty, tired and crying.
Wait a minute… Discord’s substitute put two and two together and it equaled fish. The Princess that Twilight encountered was a faker. He let the walls close as he was thinking. As he wondered he saw his reflection. His curiosity taking the better of him, he approached a large crystal.
He no longer looked like him.
There was now a streak of white across his hair. As he opened his mouth in surprise, he noticed that he now had elongated canines. Lastly, it was his eyes. They were not his eyes.
These eyes… they were a supernatural and piercing gold. It served as a reminder, on who he now was. He looked away before gulping and facing his reflection. He looked the same and yet so different. Why did he change appearance? Was it his body mutating from holding the magic?
Who was he?
What was he?
Was he even human?
Was he a hybrid of that and what Discord was?
He was still him, but who was him?
He let out a breath as he tried to figure it who he was… if it was still him in the first place? Did he have the right to use his name anymore? He shivered a bit before he snapped out of it and decided to look for Twilight. Wasn’t hard, she made a whole as she was blasting the caverns.
He peaked through the hole as he saw Twilight. He picked up the nearby shadows and used them as a cloak to hide himself and began to move closer. However, some of the dust caused by Twilight’s beams led to him coughing and getting Twilight’s attention.
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Twilight was having a terrible day. First, she lost her brother, then her friends and even her mentor. She realized she was acting foalish. To make matters worse, she didn’t know if she was overacting or if she was right. She didn’t have any proof and she came in a frenzy. Worst of all, her foalsitter and soon to be sister-in-law sent her here. She was angry, sad and confused.
She then turned when she heard coughing and saw a strange figure step out of the hole she made. Before she could ask anything, she felt goosebumps go over her. Something about this… thing… this being… rubbed her the wrong way. She could sense there was something not right about him… Something dangerous…
“Hello? Anypony here?” a mysterious voice said to Twilight.
W-who are you?" Twilight Sparkle asked as she looked around the cavern she was placed by the Not-Cadance.
There was silence… nothing but silence. The single moment of silence seem to endure for hours. The boy did not know what to call himself. He was no longer the human he was, but he was not the champion or pawn of Discord.
”…my little anomaly…” he remembered Discord's words...
He was an anomaly. Something not meant to be here. He was like a glitch in a game. The boy recalled moments of isolation and loneliness. How is it, one feeling different than the others? Feeling uncomfortable in your own skin? Wearing masks made of yourself to be more comfortable? To be as if walled off from the others.
Was this how Discord felt?
“I’ll ask you again, who are you?!” Twilight asked in her panicky voice as the figure approached with a cautious look on his face.
"...They call me Anomaly," Anomaly said as he looked at Twilight.
"Anomaly?" she asked for clarification.
He simply carved the name on the wall of the cave.
"As in the thing that does not belong" Anomaly said as he looked eye to eye at Twilight. Twilight Sparkle cautiously took in the being in front of her. He was like a Diamond Dog, but not a dog and not gem-hungry... he was like the minataur minus the 'taur' part. He also looked worried and even a bit scared... like her.
Twilight gazed at the being. “How did you get here? What do you want?” she asked him.
“How did you get here? I saw that princess banish you here and I know your friends, brother and mentor left you. What I don’t know is your side of the story… The only way I can help you is if I know what happened through your perspective.” Anomaly asked her. Normally, Twilight would wonder how this stranger knew of what happened or if she should trust him. Despite this, she was emotionally compromised from all of this and she had no one else to turn to.
With great reluctance, she performed a variation of the memory spell she used on her friends to recover from Discord’s mind games.
He then saw what Twilight saw regarding the source of her worries. It was like watching a movie. He saw the Princess act unlike how Twilight remembered her to be. Even from what Anomaly saw, the real Princess was a wonderful pony, not the pretender who was with Shining Armor the whole time. The moment when the Not-Cadance did that weird spell on Shining was what confirmed his suspicions and would do the same for almost anypony.
Too bad, Twilight acted on impulse. Then again, that was no reason not to listen to her. She was very intelligent and despite her prone to worry and panic, she has the best of intentions and makes sense. So much for the power of friendship.
Anomaly now saw how Discord was able to break them all like he did.
“Well Twilight Sparkle, looks like you are right and wrong. The truth of the matter is that you confirmed my findings, which is that is not the real Cadance,” Anomaly told her. “Wait, how do you know?” Twilight asked him, a bit suspiciously. He raised an eyebrow before moonwalking to a nearby wall and hit it like the Fonz would hit a jukebox. The wall fell apart to reveal the real Princess Cadance.
He saw Twilight’s jaw drop before walking to Princess Cadance and bowed to her. "Princess, I heard you and Twilight shared a special hoofshake when you babysat for her. How did it go?" he asked her. Cadance looked confused before she realized what was the stranger up to. Cadance performs the song and dance from Twilight’s flashback perfectly. Anomaly relaxed when he saw Twilight realize this was the real Cadance.
“Thank you,” Twilight said to Anomaly. “Very nice then, but I need to talk to Twilight for a moment, your Highness,” Anomaly told Cadance before taking Twilight and began to talk to her privately.
“We need to get out if we wish to save your brother. However… I am not someone who does something free… at least not anymore. My point is, if you want me to help you, help me help you,” he told her. Twilight's eyes narrowed slightly. "What are you getting that?" she asked him.
“I want you to form a pact with me. You would be bound to me. Regarding what we would do would be decided later to be honest,” he said as he shrugged his shoulders. “Come on, Twilight, think about it. You form a pact with me and we save the day… of course… if you want to. I mean… your friends, your family, your number one assistant, your mentor… they left you. All you have now is Cadance and myself. Well, just me once she marries your brother…” Anomaly says in her ear as he stretches across her. Anomaly wondered why he was doing this. However, he needed someone that would be at his side and at his stage, he didn't know how much control he had.
He also empathized with her. He felt betrayed often, once by a close friend. He could try and help her.
Twilight shivered as her new acquaintance reminded her of Discord. She was thinking whether if she should.... No! She could not abandon her friends… could she? Were they her friends? She didn't know what to do about them, but…
“Sorry, but no. Thank you for the offer, but when I show Cadance, I know that Celestia and the others will help me stop the imposter,” Twilight said with a confident grin..
Anomaly looked at her before sighing. “Normally, I would not be kind enough to help furthermore, but it IS your wedding, so it would be rude not to escort a princess to her wedding” Anomaly said as he was looking to Cadance.
“We’re out of here” he simply told her before putting on some Kamina glasses and a red cape. Twilight and Cadance looked at one another before facing Anomaly. He took out a conical prism and placed on his arms. It begin spinning before he ran toward the wall. “THIS DRILL IS THE DRILL THAT WILL PIERCE THROUGH THE HEAVENS!!” Anomlay shouted as he was piercing through the stones. Cadance and Twilight did another double take before following him.
"What a quirky character." they thought to themselves.
As they went through, they were enjoying the song This Day Aria, sung by Cadance and the Not-Cadance. Anomaly then saw what seem to be the three bridesmaids. “Anyone have a plan?” he askd them before Cadance threw a small bouquet at them. He snickered as he saw them fight over it before breaking the surface and sent them flying.
Cadance and Twilight were about to head to the wedding, but Twilight stopped to face Anomaly. “I have a lot of questions, but I guess it would be rude for me to ask you right now. All I can say is: Thank you for helping me and for believing me,” Twilight said before Cadance faced him.
“Are you sure you wish not to accompany us?” Cadance asked Anomaly. “Sorry, Princess, but I used up my freebies for the day. However, I wish both of you the best of luck,” he said as he bowed to them before he saw them go off. Anomaly stretched as he began reviewing what he had done. The test of his powers was done.
He leaned back on the cloud and decided to watch the events unfold through a screen he summoned. He had a feeling that he would see Twilight again soon…
He sees Cadance declare the impostor to be a changeling and sees the impostor reveal herself to be Queen Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings.
Soon indeed…
Anomaly looks in the distance, wondering what is in store...
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Interesting so far.
Just.. well, personally i hope D wont be a overpowered god.
I hope D will act with subtlety, sneakiness and such to spread chaos (unlike big D's approach wich was clever but massively obvious chaos) . Self-restraint (to avoid detection/suspicion) and smart and subtle chaos like a trickster.
@twad
Well, it will be interesting because as you could see, part of him enjoys this newfound power while at the same time, part of him feels this power is consuming him and robbing him of who he is. He will cause chaos, but Celestia and the others will catch one when they see Discord's statue gone. Will be wondering how much of Season 3 will have an impact though I will probably do the Crystal Empire arc.
interesting story so far. You earned yourself a thumbs up.
Your pacing seems too rushed and sporatic, while the dialog doesn't seem evenly spaced or organized either (hard to keep track of who is actually talking).
Scraping off the top layer of details from the prolog just make this seem like a "copy/paste" set-up taken from "Discord's heir".... Deal with Discord, changeling chaos, chaotic behavior in front of statue, (how you describe the) rush of raw power. The only notable difference I see, is the first contact.
Sorry but this isn't my cup of tea, so you won't get my 'track' or 'like'
1606043
Well we are all entitled to our opinions. Thank you for your criticisms. I will try and improve on my writing though I will say that do not be so hasty to judge. We were all beginners.
1606067 If my criticisme comes to benefit, then my work here is done. Yes, everyone have to start somewhere, and with practise comes perfection.
But as I said, for me it feels just too similar from the starting point, that I can truly enjoy it.
Still I would like to wish you good luck with the rest of the story.
Thule out!
Well, pehaps I will go back and change the Prologue to be more original. Sometimes all you need is a little time off to go back and revise your work.
you shall continue this, then continue some more.
or else
e621.net/data/be/e3/bee3856700a8284be1e1dfb1ffa06515.jpg?1349420184
1606067
may I add also that.....well 'D anomaly' is a being of chaos now....the story is kinda improved by your chaotic style....OVERAL I APPROVE HIGHLY!
Two things here:
1) When a new character speaks, you ALWAYS put it in a new line.
2) Twilight just injected memories, including personal ones from her fillyhood of time spent with Cadance, into the mind of a complete stranger of an unknown species? It doesn't really seem exactly like something that Twilight would do. Wouldn't she just tell him what she felt that he needed to know? Even with the circumstances as they were, I just don't think that Twilight would have just magically shared her memories with someone she know nothing about.
Still an interesting chapter though.
Interesting setting, but by Celestias beard, this NEEDS some editorial touch.