Me GUSTA... Keep writing.  And finally, for once the human isn't captured after he wakes up.

please luna help him

SHIT IS GETTING REAL AS FUCK

Smells like...win...

I ordinarily hate Halo crossovers, not so much due to the storyline, but more due to the horrific syntax errors that plague them.

This story's fairly well written, so I'll be watching this.

needs more chapters other than that i can't see any problems on this

This was... okay, but Celestia and Luna seem very out of character.

This awesome because my name is Garrett! I also love ODSTs! Hope you can continue this story! You also have really good descriptions during the fight scenes.

But I also found some mistakes:

1.1st lieutenant patch, a ribbon, and a new set of dog tags engraved with Garrett's name. He tossed it over to the newly promoted troopers

You might want to change that to trooper.

2."What's with the fast promotion? I was just promoted to Second Lieutenant a few weeks ago, and I"m still considered a rookie if you count my time in service after training."

I don't know if that's a mistake because a couple of lines before it said Drake gave Garrett a ribbon that had 1st Lieutenant on it.

3."I know, captain. That's why I want you and the other guards to join us in looking at what that things is."

Might want to change that to thing.

Holy crap this is amazing!

>>113752113752 Hard to judge character when we have never seen them in the situation they are in now, dont you think?

I love the story cant wait to see whats happens next!!!!!!!!!!!

>>113866113866

To an extent, yes, but one can assume from Celestia's behavior in the show that she'd be much more... well, "royal". Frankly, when I read this I feel like you're just putting words in her mouth to move the story along rather than actually writing her. She seems very quick to judge Garret and was more emotional than I'd expect. Celestia is typically very calm and maternal, becoming stern when the situation calls for it. Invading his mind and privacy with that spell also seems very odd - doing it alone would make sense if she's simply looking out for her little ponies, but letting everyone else see the man's past crosses the line. I figure Celestia would have the courtesy to keep it to herself, at least.

I also found it strange that the Mane Six were allowed to poke and prod the guy while the doctor was looking him over. Just seems unprofessional.

Wow this is one of the best stories I've read in a long time!

Great story conciser this tagged and tracked

If Garret get's caught i'm gonna be pissed

Good Story. Celestia seems a teeny bit out of character though

Oh mother bucker. This is way too similar to my idea I was going to write. You sadden me, sir.

>>113788113788

A 1st Lieutenant outranks a 2nd Lieutenant, a 2nd Lieutenant is a lieutenant's lieutenant.

>>113883113883 I will agree with you on that last part, they aren't doctors, I would have had them behind an examining glass or something, but once again, its a fan fic

Good Story, not bad for a first try,

To the people who believe that Celestia is OOC:

Celestia found an alien that could tell every pony that she doesn´t control the sun, of course that she would want him not to wake up, and maybe "misteriously" die in its sleep (also explains the kind-of hostility towards him)

I like where this could be going (even if it isn´t the whole TL breakdown)

5 stars for a story that is really good so far.

Ok, I take that back. Mine was MUCH different from yours, just the same general idea. I guess human in equestria is common. Whoops.

>>113994113994

It's your fanfic, and your character. The doctor-pony could've easily insisted that they give him and his patient some space.

Another thing that bugged me was Fluttershy's response to the "carnivore" comment. I figure Fluttershy, at least, would be more accepting about it - she works with animals, after all.

I now I sound like I'm just picking away at everything wrong with your story, but I do like it overall. I love human-in-equestria stories that actually deal with the differences between humans and ponies, rather than just a "brony goes to Equestria and warm fuzzies occur" story.

Critisism time!

Garrett Archer tackled the alien down to the ground, and it writhed as he lay on top of it. Finally, he plunged his knife into its helmet(into the helmet?). After one violent jerk, the alien died.

First off, and my biggest critique with your story, I think you are understating Sangheili. They're about 8 feet tall and weigh around 325kg, so I have serious doubts that a human could tackle one to the ground, let alone keep it pinned long enough to stab it. Or for that matter, pick one up and use it as a landing pad. Also, on a lesser note, Jackels usualy play the role of sniper in the Covenant.

It has been a long time since we have spoken face to face. Me and Luna are inviting you to come over to Canterlot with your friends for afternoon tea and dinner. We hope you can come. -Princess Celestia

That should be 'Luna and I'.

Aside from those points, everything else was good. I will be watching.

>>113953113953 Thanks for clearing that up. I don't know anything about military ranks.

>>114007114007

I agree.

I'm liking this... I'm liking this a ton!

>>114067114067>>114007114007

i also agree

I'm liking this story very much, but wouldn't Celestia have no problems capturing the human with her magic? The whole Garrett escaping scene makes no sense when Celestia could simply teleport directly in front of him and seize him to the ground in less than a second.

>>114050114050

Rules of thumb:

A modifier to an officer's rank typically refers to a lesser version, a modifier to sergeant generally refers to an increase.  

Ordinal numbers go from first down, (1st LT>2nd LT>3rd LT[1]).

Cardinal numbers go from one up, (1 Star<2 Star<3 Star<4 Star[2]).

[1] Yes, that's a real rank.  However almost no one uses it any more.

[2] One advantage to how the US often does things is that you don't have to remember the names for flag ranks.

>>114331114331 She seems to be trying to not have to take it that far. Garrett has used non-lethal force in self-defense, and she is just scared. I'd be scared of a big, crazy ape with a gun, magic or not. But that's just me.

Can't wait for maor!

Image: http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/187848_256326767737524_1881965606_n.jpg

Me Gusta... *Tracks*

...

Holy shit this is epic.

Don't stop!

This is a great crossover :D, defintaly one of the better halo fics ive read, i know this is a bit nit-picky but in the description it says when ODST's become better they become spartans. That doesnt happen, spartens are chosen from the age of 8-12 in the cannon, not odst's. but aside from my analness I cant wait to read more! Keep it up good sir! :)

This. Is. AWESOME!!!!!

Me- Well, I must say  wasn't expecting to find this story THIS well written! So far, the detail, conversations, and overall story is actually decent. usually, crossovers like these aren't done very well...but mine seemed to be pretty popular-ish, and yours, in my (already stated) opinion, is VERY good!

Artemis- Ooooh...I like this Garrett fellow...got the skills, but I REALLY wanna see how he handles the socially awkward-ness of the next chapter!

Me- Well, uhmm...we'll go read that next chapter, then!

Great great work man. keep it up.

>>114433114433

I think by that he just means that the only thing better than an ODST is a Spartan.

Looks like Garrett's gonna stir up lots of trouble.

Currently waiting for the next chapter...

Eagerly waiting for more.

A VERY good fic! Seriously, one of the better ones I had the pleasure to read. Please do post more of this gem!!!

Ho boy, where to begin? Longswords don't have slipspace drive, and the smallest UNSC ship to have a slipspace drive is the Chiroptera-class prowler, which was decommissioned in 2512. In addition, Elites don't eat humans, they don't take hostages unless that person is needed alive, and they're certainly strong enough that no human short of a SPARTAN can hope to overpower them in CQC.

Also, what the frak is wrong with the ponies? Attempting to cover-up a spaceship crashing into the middle of a major city? (Note: That really should have resulted in the near complete destruction of the castle and the total destruction of the Longsword.) Letting a bunch of civilian paw all over an alien being? Showing said alien's deepest memories off like a bunch of home movies? Having the absolute gall to the label him a monster after seeing him fighting and surviving being tortured by real monsters? Leaving the alien that they've just called a monster completely unattended? Suddenly changing their opinion of him as soon as they see the fact that he's a father? Chasing the alien down and constantly surrounding him before losing him again and again, all the while yelling at him to trust them? These ponies are juggling the idiot ball and the conflict ball like there's no tomorrow!

Look, if you want to have Halo humanity and the ponies start off as antagonists it's perfectly possible (the UNSC is effectively the evil empire, the ponies would likely simply not understand humanity, and the Covenant would likely try to burn the MLP world to the ground as soon as they found out about Celestia and Luna), but this isn't the way to go about it.

*sigh* please fuck off with all this halo crap -_- the series on its own has sucked ever since the first game...

I spy' my my little eye

A few dozen ponies with nitpicks ary.

Where to begin...oh where to begin...

Someponies here have nits like that of pins

I can share with you, a few nitpicks that may come to be

But then I stopped playing Halo, and took an arrow to the knee.

>>114756114756

Why are you reading this fic then?

To this fic: I approve of this fan-fic. ALOT!

Image: http://i.imgur.com/uxD9b.gif

This is amazing! Havn't been this interested with a story for a while now.

And for once I have no clue whats going to happen... I like

Amazing, I'm only really a fan of Halo as of the ODST's. And this crosssover... Well.

Artemis- ...he's good, yes, VERY good...I especially liked the rope and window bit! But you better not touch Luna. SHE'S MINE.

Me- Again, I REALLY like how...well, good this story is in general. I REALLY hope you update this soon. Er, We do. Artemis and I.

Omg I'm in love with this story!!!!!!!!!!!

ITS FANFICTION GUYS It doesn't need to match everything that is written BTW Cant wait for the next chapter

This is really well done except that elites are as strong as spartan 2s as said in the fall of reach (the real canon story not the false halo reach game) and also in the story chief gets in a fist fight with odsts and kills them. The elite who was interrogating Garrett would have killed him with 1 or two punches. Anyway this is really good and I look forward to reading more!

@Wutlol? I'm pretty sure the Chief wouldn't kill ODST's... They need every man they can get, after all.

>>114007114007 Its not my story man, Im just a reader

>>115210115210

>reads your name

>checks author name

Goddammit.

>>114826114826 That guys face..... is the CREEPIEST FUCKING THING I HAVE EVER SEEN.

However. Fic. FUCKING. Amazing.

Okay you need to clean up your grammar, and you need to change how archer speaks. He takes way too long to communicate and when he does he sounds like a well read 16 year old. It comes off as really lame story writing and makes it hard to believe that he is a warrior.

Suspension of disbelief. Make it happen.

this is either going to be SPECTACULAR or utterly horrible, I can't tell at the moment, will track if turns out good.

>>115214115214 High Hoove /)(\

>>114715114715

I only disagree with one point in that statement: Elites do take hostages. In Halo Reach a pair of Zealots take a wounded marine as a hostage in a face off against Noble Team.

>>113113>>113752113752

how's that?

>>115169115169 John didn't mean to kill those ODSTs. He didn't realize that he had the strength to crush bones with a single punch.

Wow

I like this, but right now I am rooting for Garret

When I read the desc I was thinking "Ugh, another Human-in-Equestria-gets found-meets ponies-saves Equestria- goes home" type thing

Instead I found it more exciting, and I can't wait til the next chapter

I wish I had more to say :/

Tracking

You have my interest. I will read on. keep up the good work!

I will read on since this has potential

>>115369115369

Image: http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/2/50withbert.gif

>>Cody...

Umad?

This is the best story I have read so far. Please make more. HOORAH

Good story me wants moar, just like the others.

It's refreshing to see a human-pony crossover that is coherent. And plausible. Also, Garret violated the cole protocol, which is to make a random jump to a random point, then make the jump to earth.

More. Please.

>>114715114715 YO LAY OFF. WE ALL KNOW ABOUT THAT. BUT SINCE HE IS PART OF LONE WOLF, GARRET GETS HIS OWN CUSTOM SHIP.ANYWAY, ITS A GOOD STORY.

>>114982114982 yo, waddup with u? are you hearing the voices in your head to? what does Artemis say?

>>119221119221 Eehhh...as far as anypony is concerned...Artemis talking is just a gimmick for my own stories. And I don't really like having a reply conversation on someone else's story...so...that is all.

>>119220119220

No, it's not, for precisely the reasons I mentioned, all of which can be summed up with one phrase: It just doesn't make any sense.

>>119307119307 oohh. so you don't hear voices?

>>119430119430 SCREW PYSICS. WITH THEM THIS STORY WOULD BE NOTHING, SO I'M GLAD IT DOESN'T COMPLETLEY ABIDE BY THE LAWS OF PYSICS.

>>119483119483

It abides not by the laws of physics, characterization, logic, established canon in either franchise, or even common sense.Therefor it is a fundamentally faulty piece of fiction that has no sound ground upon which to rest itself.

Your mother was a faulty piece of fiction that has no sound ground upon which to rest itself.kiss my ass, you cunt.

awesome that's all I have to say

This is interesting, and I like your back-story for what happened before he ended up in Equestria. Also, I really want to know what the thing at the end is...

>>119490119490 I'm siding with flutter-snipe on this one. It's a fiction. Instead of worrying if it's entirely correct, enjoy it. It's not written just so you can argue with others about how 'not cannon' it is. 'Nuff said.

>>115377115377 If you listen to the marines in the Halo Series, they sound quite a bit like how Archer does. Just saying.

And to everyone who is so worried about how the strength of the elites would kill archer and all that, seriously? For one, the elite was trying to keep Archer alive. Two, Elites may be strong, but just think about how ODST's can work around that or use that strength to their advantage.

ANYWAY, sorry about that. I was just sick of reading all the negative posts. I really enjoy the Halo franchise, but it aggravates when people get so damn serious about it. This is turning into a very nice story, but I hope Archer and the ponies can stop fighting (eventually) and work together. Again, nice job, you had a few spelling/grammar errors, but I like where you're taking this. 5 star'd, tracked, and watched. Keep up the good work.

(Wow, I don't normally type this much for comments!)

Enjoying it thus far.

Ya would've thought he'd notice something off when only four banshies were flying in a V formation though.

... They think he's evil after seeing his memories? Are they BLIND?! Did they think he casually disregarded his dead parents and joined the corps for mindless bloodshed? Did they suddenly forget what species he is and think he was one of the ones torturing him? Their thought process makes no sense! They clearly saw the only things he killed were openly hostile and using lethal force. Add in the fact that he had endless opportunities to kill the guards and settled for knocking 'em out and everyone who's said "This monster is a threat who should never wake up" is acting like a fucking moron.

My guess; Luna's either trapped with him or being possessed by Nightmare Moon.

Despte the rant, it's still a damn good story.

>>114756114756 Ya being forced to read it? No? Then keep your opinions to yourself mate.

>>120279120279 There is a flaw in that statment. Equestria is naive, they don't have any bloodshed whatsoever. So the ponies just seeing some epic explosions guns bodies blood guts and torturing freaks them out. A LOT. They have never seen that kind of violence ever, you really should try to see both sides.

>>120042120042 YEA BUDDY

Interesting, one thing though. I don't really buy that a Hunter is taken down by a single bullet even if its a clean headshot, since Hunters are not a single creature but thousands of worms all connected into a single entity thus making a single wound meaningless. The same worms are also used to make Scarabs.

But since I really like this I'll overlook that.

Sees an ODST: Lets read this...

Remembers this is a pony crossover: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>121036121036

I keep forgetting about that after reading fics like Equestria Total War, but point taken.

Thanks mate.

so....when are you planning on updating this?

>>131709131709 My schedule's been really busy lately, but I'm almost done with it.

>>132305132305 expecting within two days would be good, yes?

>>134298134298 I'm in the moment where you're waiting to see if you want to add more scenes at the last minute. Plus, like I said, my schedule's been pretty busy. Hopefully, about the weekend I'll be done.

>>134700134700 Gotcha.

>>114000114000 Ummm, in equestria, she does rule the sun. look back on the first episode, both parts.

Crunchy crunchy!

Yay...

Cheers

~iraqlobstah

I love the way you leave such a high level of suspense at the end of each chapter

Guards don't listen to orders very well...

Dude this is amassing. Keep it up.

GARRET ARCHER = BEAR GRYLLS