If I got something to say, I'll say it in lead.
Liked and Faved automatically. Let's see where this is going!
Edit: Yep, this is great. I liked the extra peek into the nudity taboo in a manner which wasn't excruciatingly embarrassing for all involved. It flowed well and fit perfectly within the style of the 'verse. Nice job!
Edit 2: Aw, who the hell down-voted already? I'm hoping somepony just clicked the wrong button by accident!
I never get sick of Xenophilia stuff. It also seems that none of it is bad, despite it being passed between more people than Hemmingway's whore.
Heeeeh, cute ending...
For anyone curious, this was posted up on the Xenophilia comments on the Clopfic Archive, and was the inspiration for the chapter "Breaking Taboos".
Good job on the story man
A delightful little story based on the Xenophillia works. You captured the portrayal of the characters well and I have to admit I enjoyed reading a less wordy version of the setting for once. I did feel you could have gone into more detail at certain points. Like, the lead up to the social taboo being breached and then the scene where he was actually there was very disproportionate. It felt like a let down. All that build up for very little happening once it comes.
Ah well, that's Slice-of-Life for you I guess. Not a genre I normally care for. My rambling aside, well done on this, and thanks for sharing it!
Haha, I hear you there! I'm hoping it becomes a trend.
You've nailed it! This was a truly enjoyable read - your story fits perfectly in the Xenoverse.
A definite MOAR + fav + thumbs up + watch from me :].
Thanks, everyone, for enjoying this story.
I agree. I made a big deal of the nudity taboo in the description, but didn't really deliver in the story itself. It was more about Twilight being conscientious of Lero's differences, and going out of her way to make things easy for him than it was about the nudity taboo. Thank you for the criticism.
Hmmm... No point in parroting what >>16034551603455 said, so I will add a new idea:
The "penis size incident" sounds like it would make for an interesting side story in and of itself. We've never seen a falling out between Dash and Lero, and this would be a good way to start off.
You know what's really creepy?
When somebody uses the word "ladies" once every few seconds.
A very fun story! It was well-written, knew its purpose and audience, and got its point across. A very solid contribution to the budding universe that is Xenophilia.
There were a couple of minor details, however, that I thought I'd point out:
1) Frottage. Noun. The act of obtaining sexual stimulation by rubbing against a person or object (from the French frotter, or "to rub"). Innocent frottage is a bit of an oxymoron, considering its definition, and when it came up in the story it made me raise an eyebrow a bit. I had a sudden, sinking feeling about the way in which you might be planning to portray Pinkie. Of course, I realized that wasn't what you meant after reading the surrounding context... but you may want to consider a different word choice, there.
2) When Lero just leans over and simply picks up Twilight it broke my immersion a bit. Xeno very clearly states that Dash is not much lighter than Lero (I imagine on the order of about 120 lbs... maybe more) and that she is both shorter and slimmer than Twilight (hence, the librarian we all know and love is heavier). I had a hard time imagining Lero (a fairly average dude) just leaning over and slinging her unto his arms like that, considering her weight and the rather awkward shape of a pony. Actually, it made for a fairly amusing image in my head, trying to figure out how one would even go about doing that (ever try to do that to a full-grown Saint Bernard? Don't). Normally, I wouldn't bother nitpicking such a seemingly minor detail... however, Xeno kind of made its name on exactly those kinds of little world-building details (well, that and the lewd bits), so I figured I'd mention it.
Like I said earlier, though: Overall, this is a good slice of life fic that adds to the universe it's taking from, rather than simply rehashing what was there before. I can only hope further additions to the Xeno lore will be as enjoyable as this one.
Second reading, it was as enjoyable as the first. A nice, simple slice of life, and a nice play on the characters of the mane 6 too. All their reactions were pretty much spot-on. Yes, even Pinkie. That girl has absolutely no sense of personal space
I saw another story i want to check out read later
Yes, I was pushing it with the frottage thing. It does need to be changed.
In the Xenophilia comments page at the clopfic archive, AnonAuthor says Dash is about 120 pounds whereas Lero is in the 170-180 pound range. Also, the first chapter states that Lero had put on a fair bit of muscle from playing Rainbow Dash's physically punishing games. Picking up and carrying Twilight Sparkle (in my mind) shouldn't be that big a deal for Lero.
However, her body shape does make it an awkward carry, at least when she righted herself in his arms. I imagined it as his hands between her legs while her legs dangled freely from the seat, one hip pressed against his body while the other faced outside. Maybe I should have explained it better (or admit that I'm wrong).
Oh, yeah, a fit guy picking up a solid weight (such as a bar with dumbells) should be able to pick up 75% of his body weight without too much issue. The problem is, that people and animals aren't solid steel bars. When they're not expecting it, they squirm around... even more so if you're tickling them. When that happens, 75% of your body weight suddenly feels a lot heavier. And, in fact, trying to carry 75% of your bodyweight in your outstretched arms like that when it doesn't want to be carried is an Olympian feat.
I'm not saying that Lero should have dropped Twilight or broken his back or anything. But I expected it to have strained him a decent bit to do what he did, while the text gave me the impression that it required about as much effort as picking up a chihuahua.
Again, this is not a point against the story overall. It's just something that jumped out at me as incongruous in a story that otherwise flowed really, really well.
Actually, a fairly good indicator of whether I liked a story or not is how much I nitpick it... I'm not sure what it says about me, but take everything I'm saying with that in mind. I'm just nitpicking because I like it.
You folks should also note that this was what inspired me to write the bit dealing with the nudity taboo. That author's note, thanking "An anon on the Clopfic Archive"? It was Goat Licker. I'll message AnonponyDASHIE and get that changed to give proper credit.
I loved reading the parts of how cultural norms and character reactions to how they differ from human to ponies in the original story. More of it in another fanfic? Yes plz. The unusual lore the author gave in that story and how it applied to the story was one of the most fascinating things I've read in some time.
I certainly appreciate your nitpicking!
Thank you for the credit! I was glad just to have given you an idea for Xenophilia, no matter how minor.
LOL @ that ending
A wild PINKIE PIE appeared!
LERO used QUESTION!
It's super effective!
PINKIE PIE fainted!
The Xenophilia universe is by far my favorite in terms of making sense of the show, while still being creative.
good story indubitaly
Next up the ponies learn to be comfortable around him eating meat. Seriously, why is he the only one that needs to respect the other culture
Thumbed and Fave'd first thing. I regret nothing. Srsly, just read it, no regrets.
I normally have words that I think compel how I feel.
For what I have read here, Xenophilia, and it's side stories, for quite a bit of time, I was simply speechless.
I have read thousands of stories. I love reading. Not all of them were good. Alot made me laugh, quite a few have made me cry. An even fewer number have made me think.
None but this one was had me do all of the above, as well as analyse myself deeper than I ever remember doing.
Some of this review may not make people happy if they read it. It is by no means the fault of the story, but of the circumstances at the time I happened to read it, as well as my own coming to terms with myself.
To get the "shock" value out of the way, for about two days after reading all this I was almost literally emotionally incapacitated. Now, to explain this, most of that was not the fault of the story or even of me reading it. I have recently deployed overseas, and although I have had a 14 year military career prior to that, I find myself in a position where for a time, I felt like I had no support network. Technically, this is not true, as I have a phone, I can call my family, I have a wonderful girlfriend, and I can stay in touch with anyone I need to. But in my prior military career, I had closer coworkers, and enough work to keep me occupied so I never really had anything like this happen to me before. Basically, as far as I can tell, I got homesick. Really badly. I'm much better now, but I happened to read this story right near when all this hit me at once.
Now, to explain a bit, I am the type of person that believes far more in personality, connection, and emotions. Although I don't mind if someone I am seeing "looks good", their intelligence and the emotional and intimate connections between us is what makes me happy, as well as "turns me on", per se.
At the moment when I felt most alone in the world, I read a story about such perfect relationships, ones that span an incredible amount of empathy and details the possibility of nearly unlimited happiness and love.
Something I feel may be out of reach for one such as me. Not to say I wouldn't try. But is perfection ever reachable? And to want that type of connection so badly that to even think about anything related to it brings tears to your eyes?
I was not doing good. But I'm doing much better. I am strong, and I will move past any personal problems I have. I have a number of friends and family that love me. I am happy with my work, what I do, and how I have led my life.
Thank you for giving me something I can reach for, even if sometimes I feel I have to cry because I may never get there. There is always hope.
With as impassive a poker fast as he could muster
Should be poker FACE.
Thank you! It has been fixed.
“Someone has too!”
"Too" should be "to", since replacing it with "as well" doesn't make sense in context.
>>17128601712860 Well for one thing he IS in their land. Plus animals like cows (not so much chicken or pigs) are their friends so obtaining some meat would seem like a difficult task.
>>27744122774412 It was meant more as an example. I just noticed there is a theme of him needing to change his behavior to fit them and never the other way around. While it is true that h is in their land we usually agree that cultural understanding is a two way street.
one thing is stupid as hell: HUMANS NEED CLOTHES TO SURVIVE!! it has nothing to do with cultular differences!
violent displays of affection.
Hah! Yeah, that sums up Pinkie Pie allright
“That’s interesting,” Twilight said, interrupting a conversation she and Fluttershy were having. “Is it done the same way too?”
"Pretty much, yeah," Lero said. "The ancient Romans had them. And the Japanese still have a rich tradition of public baths. But the're usually gender-separated."
Rainbow Dash blinked. "Huh. Why?"
Lero gave her an unsure look. "Isn't that obv--" He stopped himself, and slapped his forehead. "Ugh, no, of course it's not obvious." He looked at Rainbow Dash and Twilight, somewhat uncomfortable. "The huge majority of humanity is strictly heterosexual." He couldn't help blushing. He didn't feel comfortable at all, bringing up anything sexuality-related in company. "To us, separated bathing pretty much removes all possible sexual context."
Twilight Sparkle nodded, her forehead creased in thought. "I see. That makes sense, I guess."
"Also," Lero pointed out, "I'm neither an ancient Roman, nor Japanese."
(“Though there is a fetish for everything...” Twilight Sparkle trailed off)
Right! Let's find Big Mac some properly bent mare!
Applejack and Pinkie Pie waited outside, watching Rarity slowly immerse herself into the tub before assaulting her with a double cannonball. Only then did Fluttershy enter.
“Your hands might sure be useful,” Applejack said, “but they ain’t as hard as hooves. Can’t see ‘em doing much damage there.”
Here's a trick. When fighting a mare, pull that tuft of mane around the neck area. She'll be so baffled you can easily overpower her then
...can you plead self-defense on sexual assault charges?
> Really egghead?
You should always separate addressing terms (like "egghead" here) from the rest of the sentence with commas.
> Come on Rarity
Same remark ;)
Not on a hot summer day. The far bigger issue, which, oddly, hasn't really been addressed in any of the Leroverse fics as far as I can tell, is the strong link we make between nudity and sex. For Lero, "walking around naked in town" would be just a tiny step removed in embarrassment from what "having public sex in the middle of town" would be to the ponies.
From that aspect, the chapter addressing nudity in the original fic did nothing at all to make him more comfortable with public nudity; it really just made him more comfortable with being an indoor exhibitionist in front of his sexual partners
Really, this one did much better, at that.
>>34651743465174 and thats becuse we can't cover up our genitals like those fupping stallions!!
when applejack said
``your hands sure might be useful,´´applejack said,``but they ain't as hard as hooves.can't see em' making much damage there´´.
Eeyup. Stallions got a sheath, and it's kinda tucked away there between their legs anyway, but for humans, it's all right there in your face! Even more so considering the height difference with ponies
>>34653973465397 ``it's all right there in you're face!´´ could not stop laughing :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D and also pony:hey mister lamp-post how are you doing today? human: i'm not a friggin lamp-post! i'm not that tall am i? i would personally love being called tall by ponies :)
Amethyst really needs to do something about that attitude. Not as racist as Honeydew, but sheesh mare, does your breakfast consist of lemons?
I thought this was a one shot?
I see someone did some research on tantra.
EXCUSE MY IGNORANCE BUT LEAVE ME THIS CHAPTER WITH FACE
ONLY PARTS OF PHILOSOPHY
FOR EVERYTHING ELSE IS GOOD CONVERSATION THAT IS ME NU ENCNTO Amethyst LITTLE GRUMPY and bitter BERRY BERRY BUT SHE IS JUST A MARTIAL ARTIST THAT SURPRISED ME SHE HAS SOME PROBLEMS WITH MARE?? OR WAS THAT JUST misunderstood
That was something I didn't expect a sequel chapter to this story I thought it was a one shot. But still it's interesting to see how the other ponies respond to Lero.
Welp, that was fun.
"snifter", not "sifter".
neither herd Rainbow Dash’s derisive comment
“Thy kingdom nada, thy will be nada in nada as it is in nada.”
So, I guess nothing really IS sacred in this fic.
Gets my thumbs up.
It was. I decided to add this one to it instead of making it a new story.
Yep. It seemed fitting for Lyra. Admittedly, the idea for the scene came from Mick Farren's Necrom.
Thank you for the corrections. I can't BELIEVE I wrote "sifter" through the whole thing. Yikes.
She doesn't have problems with a mare, though she is a troublemaker.
Unless I misunderstand you, Berry Punch's mantra was lifted from Hemingway's A Clean, Well-Lighted Place, and landed straight in her brain. She doesn't know that, of course. Either way, it wasn't my attempt at making sacrilege of the Lord's Prayer.
Thanks to everyone else for your comments. I'm working on future chapters, and I hope you all will enjoy them as well. Here's a picture by Gashiboka, which is where I got the idea of Berry Punch being a Drunken Hoof master.
Nice job of showing the alien nature of Lero from the common pony's perspective. Several perspectives, actually. I'm very happy to see this has become a compilation, and I look forward to more.
Also, I have to wonder whether this old post I made in the Xeno forum had anything to do with this chapter.
Nice chapter. The name 'Red Harvest' connected to pegasus pony aroused my suspicion but tommy gun cutie mark confirmed it. Someone has to write his story, especially how he got his cutie mark
One last thing, Drunken Master class (Grandmaster) FTW!
Hah. He have a tommy gun cutie mark and don't even know what it is :D No pony know. Interesting.