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  • T Everyone's a Changeling

    Everyone's a changeling. You, him, her, that. If it moves, it's a changeling. If it breathes, it's a changeling. If it's alive, it's a changeling. And Chrysalis is utterly sick of it.
    5,685 words · 2,023 views  ·  178  ·  4
  • E The Snowpony

    A young Luna and Celestia build a snowpony. Short, sad and deliberately vague.
    4,658 words · 534 views  ·  40  ·  0
  • E To Break the Moon

    A failed drabble about alicorns and omnipotence. Written because alicorns and immortality is so last season's fashion choice.
    2,504 words · 442 views  ·  34  ·  0
  • T Make You Feel Better

    Dark, short and annoying vague. Story has a mild obsession with the colour green.
    1,506 words · 688 views  ·  33  ·  0
  • T Sombra

    The Crystal Empire is old and strong and arrogant. It is the sole domain of ponydom outside the Sisters' rule, a preserved reminder of the days that passed long before the foundation of Equestria. And it teaches its lessons well.
    5,365 words · 361 views  ·  30  ·  0
  • E Gummy is not suitable bathing apparatus

    Title says it all, really
    2,949 words · 2,268 views  ·  92  ·  5
  • T Princess Luna Guards a Field

    The Harvest Moon is coming. Princess Luna prepares for it.
    2,221 words · 506 views  ·  29  ·  0

Blog Posts57

  • 40w, 2d
    A Public Service Anouncment and some Forthcoming Things

    I honestly didn't expect to write this blogpost.

    No, seriously. I tried to get on a day ago only to be rebuffed by my lack of accurate password knowledge. Given that I'd also changed the email to gibberish, I thought it was pretty damn certain I wouldn't be able to get back on here. Many tears were cried as I shrugged and went back to bickering at people about their sloppily metered poetry.

    And then I tried capitalising a letter and everything went fine.

    So. Things to talk about while I briefly resurrect this account. First things first: Bad Horse is starting something cool over here and you really need to go and see it. Essentially, he's organising a compilation of 'original fiction' short stories written by ponyfic authors, though parts of it are still being brainstormed. I'm aware that I've got a few people following this account that aren't following him, and so may not have heard about it; I am very much of the opinion that this is something that needs to be heard about.

    Go, see, discuss, contribute. Or do naught. My job ended when you were informed.

    Second thing is the following: beautifying this account's userpage. Cause it be uuuuuugly. I've got plans to change it to something more interesting, but that means using up blogs, which means you will be notified. If reading short recommendations for a few stories tickles your bejeevies, then by all means stay on board. If not, unsubscribe, pls: I have no other plans for this account save (eventually) finishing Sombra & Equestria's End -- which will be a great deal easier now I can remember the password, let me tell you -- and (eventually) publishing a piece of blank verse titled Sisterhood Lost so that I can make use of the newly added sequels thingy. There's really no other reason to keep watching.

    And if that bit didn't tip you off, then no. Not back. Still writing horse words -- 14k over Christmas, which was unusually productive of me -- but none that you'd want to see. It's mainly /mlp/ waifu-fiction for the purpose of practicing entertaining dialogue, and it's actually kinda working too.

    Missed you all on the odd occasion; Noo-noo brought back many fond memories. :pinkiesmile:

    Hope everyone's been having fun.


    And If You Haven't, Then Relax. Let Jan Garbareck's Souful Saxophone Guide You

    3 comments · 99 views
  • 50w, 6d
    [no title]

    4 comments · 71 views
  • 61w, 4d
    On Forcing a Story

    3 comments · 144 views
  • 61w, 6d
    Reading Suggestion: Two Weird Non-Story Stories By The Same Author

    Yes, I recommend stories occasionally, shut up.

    I plucked THIS IS A STORY from the front page a week ago because it looked interesting. No, seriously. I'd exhausted /mlp/'s pastebin archives and had returned to occasionally lurking the fimfiction front page in the hopes of something interesting to read; this was one of the few that got me to both click on it and then keep reading after the first paragraph.

    Mainly because it was weird.

    THIS IS A STORY is one of those stories which is actually about telling stories. Except it isn't. It's actually one of those metafictional, post-modernist works of fiction told always with a sneer. Except it isn't that either. Because for around two thousand five hundred words, RCW99 tells the entire thing completely straight faced.

    Let's talk about what the story is surface wise: it's a collection of lengthy drabbles about a stallion's life. He's not always the same stallion and neither is it always the same life. Instead, we get snapshots taken of a moment, all completely separate and dangling in the ether. There is no overlying narrative or theme or shared characters or setting. There is simply a stallion and an event -- which pretty much forms its own theme.

    It's weird, but it's the good type of weird. Most of the snapshots are about the little parts where life could be exciting and then it turns out you shouldn't have got your hopes up. A sort of shared, "Oh well". Falling in and out of sleep is also a noticeable pattern: I could be a high falutin' ass and say this is clearly referential to how we all walk through life in a sort of sleep, but I don't really think that's what's going on here. I think they just form nice bookends.

    It was good. I gave it the thumbs and marked it as read later, because it's weird and I couldn't quite figure out if I wanted to read more of it. Today, I checked back in, saw two updates, read them, felt the weird and then decided to see if RCW99 had anything else to offer in terms of weirdness.

    Turns out, the answer is yes.

    A Day in the Life of Average Statistic is pretty similiar to THIS IS A STORY. Both have the meta flavour when you take a bite into them; both are competently written (I'd quibble over certain semicolon choices being better as colons, but I do this with most authors). Both offer unusual things inside their synopses that make you go "Really? About that? Seems... Mundane" and then proceed to deliver. Straight faced. For a considerable period of time past when a joke would end.

    I never want to play RCW99 at poker, I can tell you that much.

    I think I like A Day better, though. It's about twice the length and the main source of conflict is between what the reader expects and what they're reading, but I like it. Really like it. Like, it's in the Celestia class of mane's I like. This is a good story and the primary reason behind this blog post.

    The theme's sharp and not one often touched in ponyfic: it deals with how we tell stories about excited and complicated events happening to brighten up our lives. So far, so THIS IS A STORY, so why do I like this one better? There's another theme attached onto it, though, that twists it away from being the same message to something a bit more raw.

    It's a theme about how we want to do exciting things, but don't. About how we don't risk asking the girl out from fear of looking stupid, or how we feel askance after a stumble in a crowd though no one cares at all. It's about how people want to explore the distant universe or exotic locations without ever really knowing their own backyards. There's adventure -- the breaking of the mundane -- all around us, but we never really grasp it.

    This resonated with me: I'm the sort of person who walks down the street looking into other people's houses and then gets that feeling of ice dropped inside when I realise I'll never stand there, that out of every path the future holds, not a single one of them involves me standing inside that house. And yet it could if I was brave enough -- or mad enough -- to run over and break down the window, to spit in fate's face and then take the slap without flinching. The entirety of A Day is that feeling magnified and repeated endlessly. It's the story of one stallion's ordinary day and how he continually fails to make it extraordinary.

    It is a good story. It is a story that I would be glad if you could read and maybe comment on 'cause I am too lazy to. But mainly, I think you should read it because my happy befuddlement over the weirdness needs spreading.

    Thanks and you

    THIS IS A STORY

    A Day in the Life of Average Statistic

    Additional: Please (Please?) leave opinions about whether I should refrain from doing this kinda shizz in the future. I'm always curious over whether or not I'm abusing the bizarre people power of the Post Blog Entry button, and would be grateful if knowing if my mouth's best served shut.

    8 comments · 151 views
  • 65w, 2d
    I have figured out how to win at Fimfiction

    6 comments · 148 views
  • ...
 124
 2,643
Source

The world's going to end in one week. It's been doing that for a while now.

Someone in Equestria's broken the world. They've taken time along with it, trapping everything into a single, indefinitely repeating week. Only the elements' bearers move forwards in time, but they've got problems of their own. For each cycle drains their talents from them, each conversation twists old friends into enemies, and not a single one of them knows how to save the world. Some of them have even stopped trying.

And then Twilight finds a way. All that's left to do is gather everyone back together.

Story arcs written about an apocalypse cycling in perpetuity and the effect it has on Equestria. Not as dark as it tries to be.

Additional: Story formatted to look its best in Font Serif, Size Normal, Colour Medium-Dark, Paragraph Spacings 1.2; this as the banner image; no interactive pony, Snow Default, css color #8c8691, Background Pattern Stars and Background Image Night Town . Reading otherwise will expose you towards rogue spacings, silly typography and a severe lack of Luna.

Featured on EQD for crimes against humanity.

First Published
11th Nov 2012
Last Modified
29th Apr 2013
#1 · 101w, 6d ago · · · In Media Res ·

I can't even find an emote or pic that could come close to describing my expression right now.

I'm dumbfounded, shocked, confused, awed, amazed, excited, scared—it's all mixed in there somewhere.

All I can really say is that I had to read this twice through.

I'm pretty convinced that it's brilliant, I just don't know how to process it.

It's—It's beautiful, man.

#2 · 101w, 5d ago · · · In Media Res ·

>>1586262

Yeah... my first drafts confuse even me. I usually end up adding another two to five hundred words onto what I've written just so it makes sense.

What can I say. I write like a crazy person.

Also, thanks for the kind words.

#3 · 101w, 4d ago · · · In Media Res ·

Dammit, you got me. I'll have to read this once I'm done writing.

#4 · 101w, 4d ago · · · In Media Res ·

You. You intrigue me.

Very well, watching carefully. Take the upvote and favorite. Do not disappoint me.

#5 · 101w, 4d ago · · · In Media Res ·

oooh, Interesting, can not wait to see where this leads. Good Job.

#6 · 101w, 4d ago · · · In Media Res ·

This is really good. In fact, this is about as good as MLP fanfiction usually gets. There are a few tiny stylistic things I'd change, though: you use the 'd contraction a noticeable amount of times, you seem to be avoiding commas where they would make sentences easier to read, and there's a paragraph in there that uses a ton of ellipses. Also, you could stand to be a little clearer in your descriptions of scenery, particularly that very first paragraph from Rarity's perspective.

And all that said, this is still really good. If you clean this up a bit, then publish another chapter to set yourself at the 3,000 word minimum, you could easily get this onto Equestria Daily.

#7 · 101w, 4d ago · · · In Media Res ·

This is awesome. They're just so glib about the end of the world! And that countdown was a perfect touch. All in all, I shall be watching to see where this goes. I see a lot of potential for terribly sad moments with the whole 'can only see a family member seven times' thing.

#8 · 101w, 4d ago · · · In Media Res ·

One minor detail - you say Twilght's eyes filled with hope, but she only has one...

#9 · 101w, 4d ago · · · In Media Res ·

I'm disturbed by the feeling that this isn't just good, but is in one of those quality levels above my head that I can't distinguish from each other, and so I can only say "good".  Just enough info to lead us along, just enough description, not wordy, not sparse.  The pacing is excellent, giving us glimpses of apocalypse but spacing them out with personal interactions that show Twilight and Rarity's courage and focus.  Even EqD will love it -- showing, not telling; lots of that body movement they love so much.  (They'll gripe about some of the commas, but I like 'em.)

I noticed only one typo, but it is important.  I think you meant

No, what he wanted was to not feel lonely. What he wanted was to get rid of loneliness itself.
to be
No, what he wanted was not to not feel lonely. What he wanted was to get rid of loneliness itself.

Off to blog about this.

#10 · 101w, 4d ago · · · In Media Res ·

ohhh YES. Thumb'd and faved and watched.

</oblig>

#11 · 101w, 4d ago · 1 · · In Media Res ·

It's confusing, I'll be honest.

Yet the plot is original and well written enough which makes me oh so desperate to see what happens next.

So, let's see what happens next.

#12 · 101w, 4d ago · · · In Media Res ·

Freaking hooked. :moustache:

#13 · 101w, 3d ago · · · In Media Res ·

This going on the list of stories to track.  I really like the countdown theme you went with.  Keep it up!:rainbowkiss:

#14 · 101w, 3d ago · · · In Media Res ·

Why do all the things I want to read pop up when I have exams? :raritydespair:

Thankfully they're over in a week, then all my free time shall be consumed by ponies.

Again.

#15 · 101w, 3d ago · · · In Media Res ·

Hi,

Twilight's problem's with magic - should be 'problems', I think.

Followed, but not yet with the thumb-up. Might be me, but I didn't really get it. I'll try again later.

J.

#16 · 101w, 3d ago · · · In Media Res ·

Wow. Well, that's a thing that happened.

I'll try and responded to everyone, because my OCD friendliness won't let people leave my comments page unaccosted, but only if I've really got something to say. So... thanks to anyone who's commented on this/liked it/added it to their favourites. Sorry for the lack of a personal response.

Anyway, let's get to cracking.

>>1595083

I'd like to say that I won't disappoint, but I pretty much wrote this to purge an idea I'd been batting round inside my head for nearly a week now. The frame of time looping was mainly put in place so that I could explore multiple reactions to an apocalypse whilst keeping the same cast of characters. If you were hoping for the story to be heading along a strict, normal, "let's save the world" path -- or even just for the next run of chapters to be about Twilight and Rarity -- then you'll probably be disappointed.  

Quality of writing (such as it is) should remain fairly consistent, though. This was written in one go and has only had one round of editing done to it; the number of comments pointing out typos is somewhat indicative of that.

>>1595255

Yeah, contractions. Guilty as charged. I'm a northern-midlander Brit with Scottish parents and half of a life lived in Wales, which mainly manifests itself as a somewhat unique lexicon and a fond preference for contractions. I have to struggle not to write out sentences like "going t'pub?", and I also tend to think that stuff like "I'd've'd done it" is perfectly legitimate.

I have problems, I know. Believe me when I say that your issues with my overuse of 'd are merely scraping the tip of an impossibly deep iceberg.

I'll see if I can jettison some of the ellipses; a few could probably be safely swapped around with an em dash. The problem with the description is another common flaw of mine: I get confused all too easily between "info-dumping" and "setting the scene".

Also, thanks for the lovely comment. I love it when people make me think about how I write.

>>1595287

I was aiming more for apathetic than glib, but then again, the story's out and I'm utterly dead. They're basically synonyms anyway, so... Yeah, I'm gonna pretend I intended it to be glib all along.

As for the sad parts, it may be a potential that exists unrealised. I'm not entirely sure yet, though I'm generally not a fan of sad for the purposes of sad. I'm not entirely a fan of how the story skimmed it with the Sweetie conversation here either: how I handled introducing the "seven conversations/interactions" restriction in my first mental run through of this chapter (in which only Twi was time looping and the length was one day) felt far more natural and poignant to my ears. How it is now feels... stilted. I'm not especially keen to go treading down that path again.

Oh, and the conversations thing's not just with family members: it's with everyone. I'll try and clarify that later on when the restrictions expanded on (aka, conversation == what exactly?)

>>1595324

Thank you for that; error found and corrected.

>>1595853

People keep on mentioning these comma problems, and I can't seem to find them :raritydespair:

I only knowingly repressed one comma ("He’d find himself lying awake at night with the caustic ache [...]") so I'm at a bit of a loss as to where they are. I'll scour through it later when the story's cooled a bit and my brain's forgotten what I meant whilst writing it.

That typo is important and cheers for spotting it. I've... contracted your suggestion mainly for the reasons outlined in the response to NN99's comments. I have an adulterous relationship with the apostrophe, and I should really get round to making it up with the comma.

Also, Blog? I'll have to follow up on that. Lots of love for all the kind words too. I'm somewhat surprised that this even warrants a quality level. I'd kinda been hoping this'd slink off the front page without attracting too much attention, mainly so I'd have a legitimate reason to shout "There! No-one's interested in this story! Let me finish everything else I've got going on first!" at my creative drive.

Now it looks like I'll have to follow up on this sometime soon. Damn.

>>1596449

Confusion's mainly just me being lazy/overtly scared of any form of exposition. I like to view this particular style of writing as listening in on an ongoing conversation: Neither party is going to stop and explain what they're talking about to you, so you have to try and figure things out by yourself. I tried to find ways to introduce the most important restrictions of the piece (Sweetie conversation == info on conversations aspect, No-light magic == info on drain of powers) but there's still a few that haven't been brought up. Stuff like "do the locations reset each cycle, and if not, what does that mean for objects moved by a member of the Mane six?" gets covered later on.

So, yeah: you should be confused. Not everything's been introduced yet, and that which has is incomplete in its explanation. But, if I've done my job right, your interest in having those confusions explained should outweigh your frustrations over them needing to be.

>>1597224

Funny thing: I wrote this immediately after a C++ exam. First time in a while I'd been able to finish yonks before the deadline and spend an hour sating my inner fussiness by getting each spacing juuuusssstttt right.

>>1597230

Cheers for the typo correction; I've edited it away. Also, you're hardly alone with the favourite over thumbs thing: as of right now, the ratio's at 46 favs to 35 thumbs, and I know some of those green things are from people who haven't followed it. I guess until there's a way to revoke a thumb from a story, people will always be hesitant about committing to it.

I miss the track button, even if people did spend a lot of time getting confused and tracking completed stories.

And as a final thing, long response is long

#17 · 101w, 3d ago · · · In Media Res ·

>>1597791

In that case I'll read it straight after my computer science exam on Thursday :derpytongue2:

And I completely understand. I had a look at the code for some of the guys in my class - 'cause their's wasn't working properly - and spent most of the time just making it look "neat und tidy" :pinkiecrazy:

#18 · 101w, 3d ago · · · In Media Res ·

A very intriguing start to the story... And one that brings all kinds of ideas to mind.

#19 · 101w, 22h ago · · · In Media Res ·

I would have liked to read about the initial discovery of the looping time phenomenon and a few choice pieces of what the Mane 6 are up to between then and now. Will we get that at some point? Seems like you're just jumping straight to the third act.

#20 · 101w, 11h ago · · · In Media Res ·

>>1613807

Yeah, I started in media res, and yes, earlier parts of the story will be described. The first arc is, in fact, set before the prologue... except, chronologically, at exactly the same time because each cycle's about the same week. Story's gonna get weird like that.

I'd be loathe to include the initial discovery itself as anything other than a side chapter, though. The point where the first cycle ends and the second begins: that I could write about. Actually detailing the first cycle would be... massively out of tone with the rest of the fic.

I'm trying not to head down into the dark places this could go. Writing about the first cycle, when the main characters are not aware that it's not really the end, would be close to the bottom. That and there'd be no real reason to write it other than to try and capture the utter horror of it, something which I'm trying to distance the reader from by engaging the safety net early on.

Oh, and the few choices pieces of what the rest of the mane six are up to is going to be much of the mane focus of this to begin with. What Twilight and Rarity get up to after the prologue ends is one of three arcs I've planned out for this. And at the moment, it's not going to be the focus of what comes next.

#21 · 101w, 11h ago · · · In Media Res ·

>>1597791

Well, time apathetic and glib are kinda the same- and Twi seems to have something up her non-existent sleeve, so that looked a little less apathetic. I mean, you meant it to be glib the entire time. Yup. :rainbowderp:

Not sad just to be sad, of course. Perhaps just a point that could incite character development or be useful later on. However little you use it, that was a pretty good idea. I mean, it makes the whole situation for the Mane 6 even more... unhappy, I suppose. What were you thinking of in the first draft?

Ah, yes, I get it. That, of course, makes sense! I just said family because Sweetie Belle specifically was mentioned. Clarifying what, exactly a conversation/interaction is would be good, too. Like, just bumping into a pony while walking down the street- count or not count?

#22 · 100w, 6d ago · 1 · · In Media Res ·

>>1597791  Omg. Huge comment... Aquillo... Wat R U doin... Aquillo...

Nooo! Don't reply longform! You could use that time to write more of this amazing epic. :pinkiegasp:

I love the whole Wotan, "I traded my eye for wisdom." schtick that Twilight's got going on. Do I also detect a (massive, moon-sized) hint of Majora's Mask? I like the way you write, and I can't wait to see where you go from here. If you need any help proofreading and such, I do edit stories, and am quite good at it.

#23 · 100w, 6d ago · · · In Media Res ·

>>1615536

Glad we see eye to eye on sad for the sake of sad. Sad which arises naturally out of characterisation or as part of a scene, however... I promise I'll pounce on the sucker and squeeze every ounce of power I can out of it.

I just won't be planning any detours towards sads-ville if I can help it. To be honest, I usually find the detours themselves far more powerful: a character who's being crushed down by all the weight adversity can stack on them, and yet still stands up and says "Fuck you" to the world has always resonated with me far more than a character who just breaks down. That last one's kinda... boring, to be blunt.

The first draft had Twilight talking to an increasingly exasperated Rarity, to the point that the two almost came to blows several times during the conversation. It would've only been revealed at the end, to a somewhat doubtful Rarity, that that was their final conversation. OOC character suddenly explained, hurrahs all round. (I like the idea of doing something that can be seen as a mistake only to reveal it's not later on. I think it'd be a nice way to tug a rug out from under somebody's feet.)

Like, just bumping into a pony while walking down the street- count or not count?

Can't comment, but you're thinking along the right lines. I've been toying around with the idea of a "Twilight Sparkle's Field Notes on the Apocalypse" type thing, which'd cover her empirical research on figuring out what the hell's going on. I probably won't do it 'cause it'd be boring to write and involve explaining things because it'd detract from the actual story. And be boring to write/possibly come back to bite me when it's revealed that most of what Twilight knows about the rules is wrong.

It'd be like me giving you a book on Aristotelian physics only to shout "Haha, suckers! It was relativity all along!" a few weeks down the line.

And it'd be boring to write.

>>1621464

Fine: I'll reply in bullet points.

1) So glad someone spotted the Wotan thing. It's a deliberate reference; I even went to the effort of researching which eye he lost. I can only hope my source was accurate.

Also glad you used Wotan instead of Odin. That becomes important.

2) Yeah, the moon falling on Canterlot at the end is a reference to Majora's Mask. You're good at this.

The actual fic itself isn't going to be following the same lines, however; I'd have tagged it as a crossover otherwise.

3) Thanks for the offer (seriously -- I edit a lot myself, and I know what that kinda offer means) but I'm gonna have to decline. I've had one nine k fic that's been sitting in the editing doc for around a month now, and this fic -- no matter how popular it gets -- is always going to be the story I sketched out without letting another person see it. I like it, and I'm going to be doing my damnedest not to screw it up, but I kinda want to know if I'll sink or swim without my waterwings.

Even the writing style itself is a bit of an experiment. I'm... stretching my wings here.

4) Heh, the story's already had 2.5 K of itself sitting inside the chapter two part since Monday. It's mainly waiting for Uni to stop gobbling up all my time so I can get around to it/for me to finish planning the rest of the first arc and determine where, exactly, all the plot threads I've laid down are going.

#24 · 100w, 6d ago · · · In Media Res ·

>>1621607

See, now, that's good writing. Sad for the sake of characterization or the story, that's when you want some sad and that's when I wanna see it. Every ounce. I'm counting on that. Every ounce!

Yes! I love the badass characters who just keep fighting, won't let anything stop them for long, and doesn't let the general unfairness of the world make them all mopey. A character who can't take a good beating, well, that just isn't much fun. So, again, something we quite agree on here!

Final, as in they'd already spoken/interacted six times before that. That would've be a nice, tidy way of showing the effects of the curse, and a good, poignant twist. I like what you had planned out! (Twists are just so much fun- to the reader and the writer)

Gah! Good to know that I'm on the right track, though. Even Twilight can't be right about everything. Although I guess if you ever did it as a side story or something, it would be interesting to see more detailed accounts on what Twilight did while she traveled. It wouldn't necessarily have to be boring, and you could flesh out the backstory a bit and add some adventure and such. Though I suppose it would be a bit of a waste of time if all she came up with was wrong...

#25 · 100w, 5d ago · · · In Media Res ·

You have my interest. I look forward to more.

#26 · 100w, 3d ago · 3 · · In the Halls, I ·
#27 · 100w, 3d ago · · · In the Halls, I ·

Your descriptions have improved vastly with this story. I really really really want to review thi properly, but I want a keyboard first. I expect EQD features this as soon as you send it.:scootangel:

#29 · 100w, 2d ago · · · In the Halls, I ·

Okay, you get the thumbs up - but you'd better pay off all these promises you're making. :pinkiesmile:

#30 · 100w, 2d ago · · · In the Halls, I ·

>>1641502

To be fair to the prologue, more than two thirds of the first chapter is just pure prose. It'd be hard for some of that not to progress beyond a threadbare description at some point.

And I'd be surprised if EQD didn't reject this first time. The ending part of this chapter's kinda sloppy... which makes sense, seeing as the whole Braeburn bit was added as an afterthought. I need to tighten that up a bit and carve Braeburn's character out more deeply, as well as focusing it in on what's meant to be the point/underlying theme of this chapter. The theme crops up from time to time, most noticeably near the end, but I kinda think it could do with a bit more teasing out. Oh, and I don't really have any plans to submit this any time soon, making the rejection thing kinda void. (Edit: Fine, you convinced me and it's in. I blame you for this edit.)

And if you really want to talk about it, Skype? I'd be interested in knowing your thoughts.

>>1642614

That last one is undoubtedly a better picture of a horse in a sandstorm. I'm not entirely sure if I can contain my jealousy.

>>1643483

Thanks + I'll try my best. All that I can really say is that the Russian armaments I've been merrily sowing -- like the watch and the wooden obelisk thingy -- have already got purposes planned out for them, and that green trowel-butt and his antagonism is also going to be explained brought up again and expanded upon.

I'm not sure what other promises I've made, but if they involve money and/or my first born, I'll probably end up breaking them.

#31 · 100w, 2d ago · · · In the Halls, I ·

Majora's Mask hardcore mode! I can just imagine Braeburn just as friendly on the 13th time, to AJs exasperation.

I'm really pumped for this now. Honestly, it's starting to remind me of Autsraeoh.

#32 · 100w, 2d ago · · · In the Halls, I ·

Excellent descriptive writing.  You have the narrator use some of Applejack's speech patterns, which is unsettling, as this is not first person.  But the descriptions are first-rate.  Sometimes I quote the paragraphs I especially like, but there were too many of them, and no clunkers anywhere.  I was reading a story by Charles de Lint just before yours, and yours is better, stylistically.

#33 · 100w, 1d ago · · · In the Halls, I ·

:moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache:

Rated five out of five by older bronies everywhere (at least Texas).

#34 · 99w, 4d ago · · · In the Halls, I ·

>>1648193

Heh. Well, I wrote this chapter whilst listening to this, so maybe the Disney rubbed off on me?

>>1648563

Damnit, stop being so nice to me. My head should not be needing this many punctures added to it in order to halt its upward ascent.

The Applejack speech patterns thing is a good point. It's something I noticed whilst writing; I'd kinda been hoping I could get away with some over the top slippages between subjective and objective narration. If it's unsettling, though, I'll probably tone the mimicry down and return the narrator to snarking occasionally. He's good at that.

Now I just need to find some way to rephrase "This here was a problem" which sounds as nice in my head as the original line. Bums.

#35 · 98w, 6d ago · · · In the Halls, I ·

So, Twilight and Rarity are in Ponyville, Applejack's stumbled her way into Appleoosa, Fluttershy's missing, presumed in Manehattan, and Dash and Pinkie are still unaccounted for...

Huh.

Well, in any case, I do love a good time loop story, and I'm looking forward to the next development. Especially in terms of with whom the Altering Party has already blown their seven chances.

#36 · 98w, 6d ago · · · In the Halls, I ·

Excellent work, author. This piece surpassed our expectations, and that is not a statement this group makes lightly.

And remember: the pre-readers will be watching.

#37 · 98w, 5d ago · · · In the Halls, I ·

This continues odd, intriguing, and melancholy; and unless I woefully miss my guess, this is exactly your intent.  Keep it up.

#38 · 98w, 5d ago · 1 · · In Media Res ·

So... The planet is being destroyed via being crushed between the sun and the moon, over and over again, time just resetting back to a week earlier every time it happens?

Holy shit. it's like Majora's Mask on hard mode. ._.

#39 · 98w, 5d ago · 1 · · In Media Res ·

The first chapter hints at Majora's Mask... Right?

btw Lovin it

#40 · 98w, 5d ago · · · In the Halls, I ·

It... it...

has great potential. I'll feel like you're intentionally making it just a tad too confusing for the readers, and its kinda annoying. Damn catchy, but agitating. I eagerly await more.

#41 · 98w, 5d ago · · · In the Halls, I ·

Congratulations Aquilo!

#43 · 98w, 5d ago · · · In the Halls, I ·

>>1716749

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand it broke :fluttercry:

#45 · 98w, 5d ago · · · In the Halls, I ·

>>1716683

Its funny not seeing your name highlighted in red

#46 · 98w, 5d ago · · · In the Halls, I ·

>>1716771

Um... Okay.

I don't stray too far from 'home,' I guess. But Aquilo's a chum (and a talented one at that) so I came by for a visit.

Again, awesome work Aquilo.

Back to work.

#47 · 98w, 5d ago · · · In the Halls, I ·

So... yeah.  EqD happened.  Grats on that. :derpyderp1:

I still don't know what I read before, but I'ma track this shit.

#48 · 98w, 5d ago · · · In the Halls, I ·

just as a suggestion, I think you could do a little bit better job explaining the whole day night thing, I was having trouble visualizing it. but overall, i thought this was a very good piece of work, and i cant wait to see what happens next!

#49 · 98w, 5d ago · 1 · · In the Halls, I ·

So is this kinda like Endless Eight?

interesting premise, adding to the read later list.

#50 · 98w, 5d ago · 1 · · In the Halls, I ·

EqD brought me, no time right now, so I'll throw it on the read later mountain, but I WILL read it tomorrow. Looks intriguing I must say. :moustache:

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