Part 41 - Eagle-Eyed Evasions
Ponyville District Court
Courtroom No. 2
June 11th, 10:46 AM
“Your friendly neighborhood Gilda just doing her duty in the cause of justice. Later!” As the very satisfied griffon witness left the stand and prepared to exit the courtroom following her too-brief testimony, Phoenix took a deep breath, letting her get just two steps away before…
Phoenix’s cry froze Gilda in her tracks. “Sorry, but there is a problem—a very big problem considering how brief that testimony we just heard was!” he proclaimed to the surprise of all present.
“Huh?” Gilda looked at Phoenix, then at Trixie.
“The GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie does not see such problems in that testimony!” Trixie insisted in a disdainful tone.
“Nor do I, Mister Wright. And as I am in no mood for further stalling tactics, you get one chance to explain yourself. What is this ‘very big problem’ you speak of?” The Judge asked, his tone of voice telling Phoenix to make his explanation a good one.
“It’s simple, Your Honor!” Phoenix left the defense bench to walk up to the map, picking up a wooden pointer as he did so.
“You see, Gilda says she was perched in this tree and saw the crime take place,” he began, using the pointer to tap the red dot Gilda had marked earlier.
Gilda looked at Phoenix sharply. “And what’s the matter with that?”
“Take a look a little left of where you claim you were hiding,” he suggested with a grin, pointing to the yellow dot with a number “3” on it.
Gilda looked baffled. “Uh… hey! What’s that numbered circle there for?”
Phoenix crossed his arms and gave a satisfied smile at Gilda’s first contradiction, still standing beside the diagram. “Oh, nothing. That’s just where the third bolt of lightning struck a little past 11 o’clock.”
Trixie looked momentarily confused herself, taking a moment to process Phoenix’s words. Abruptly, she gave a gasp of surprise, looking away with an uncharacteristically nervous mutter as she spotted the problem with Gilda’s testimony herself.
“So what’s your point? I wasn’t even there when that happened!” Gilda replied, not understanding her predicament.
“Why did you not tell me about where you were hiding?” an angry Trixie shouted at her own witness; Phoenix noting that had it been Franziska von Karma, Gilda would have felt the sharp lash of her whip.
Except Franziska would never have been so sloppy as to not ask such a basic question! And Miles Edgeworth would fire you as one of his prosecutors if you made an oversight like that! he didn’t say, wondering if he’d be able to tell Edgeworth about Equestria once he got back to Earth.
“What does it matter if the tree was up or not? I saw the whole murder with my own two eyes!” Gilda insisted, not realizing her alibi and story were crumbling to dust with every word she spoke.
“See, right there! That’s the lie!” Phoenix pounced, causing Gilda to stare at him in confusion while Trixie just smacked her head with a forehoof.
Gilda’s pale yellow eyes went wide at Trixie’s reaction. “W-What?! L-Lie?!” She started to sweat again.
“The witness is lying?” The Judge looked confused.
“Indeed she is, Your Honor!” Phoenix announced with a triumphant smile. “You may recall that according to the police reports, when that third lightning bolt hit, it took down a tree in this spot on the diagram!” Phoenix reminded the court, using the pointer to tap the number 3 dot next to the hiding place of Gilda again, then filling in the area around it with his ballpoint pen to show the tree that was there previously.
“Yeah? So what?” Gilda still didn’t get it.
“So, if you were really perched in that tree, then the tree that the #3 bolt struck would have still been up! It would therefore have obstructed your line of sight to the number 1 dot, which is where the first bolt hit!” Phoenix pointed out, to an eruption of gallery murmurs—and some appreciative hoofclops from his gym friends.
“B-but… I…” Gilda’s eyes went nervous and darting as she saw the problem for herself.
“But nothing! You may be able to see in the dark, but what I want to know is this, Miss Behertz: how were you able to see through a solid mass?” Phoenix demanded to know, pointing a finger right at her.
Gilda gave a high-pitched scream of dismay, several of her feathers spontaneously molting as Phoenix struck his first truly deadly blow of the whole trial, catching the eagless witness in her own lies.
At LAST! I’m finally gaining the upper hand! he sensed, wishing Twilight was there to witness his latest turnabout.
Trixie tried to redeem her witness’s crumbling credibility. “She must have been mistaken about the tree she was in!”
Phoenix countered immediately. “We found her feather in the tree she pointed out! So she must have been in that tree!” he insisted, making Gilda sweat even more.
“I-I… uh…” were the only words that came out of Gilda’s mouth just then.
“This is a rather curious discrepancy. So what do you make of it, Mister Wright?” The Judge asked Phoenix, stroking his beard thoughtfully.
Phoenix considered the question for several seconds before replying, scratching his own chin as he pondered his answer. Gilda’s only making part of this up. She was definitely there if she overheard the blackmail negotiations; she just couldn’t have seen the actual lightning strike. And that means…
“In my opinion, I think she was indeed present for the lightning strike, Your Honor,” he granted. “But she didn’t actually see it—she just heard it!”
Trixie shouted once more. “That doesn’t change anything at all! We still have a body and we still have a suspect! Whether she heard it or saw it doesn’t make any difference; she was still there for the moment of the murder!”
Phoenix returned fire immediately with a grin on his face. “If I got a dime for every time I heard that one!” Er… should have said ‘bit’ there! he belatedly realized, but plunged ahead anyway. “This changes a lot, Trixie! First off, how did she know he was ‘fried’ by the bolt if she didn’t see it hit him?”
“I-I want to go now!” a panicked Gilda pleaded, looking around for support that wasn’t there, cringing to see the glares of the gallery now falling on her as her lie was laid bare. “The terms of my testimony have already been met! You can’t keep me here anymore!”
“You’re not going anywhere!” Phoenix informed her with a pointed finger, not letting slip the chance to press Gilda hard. “You’ve lied under oath, Miss Behertz, and that nullifies the terms of your agreement! You’re now required to stay in order to clear any suspicions regarding yourself! And you know what? You’re looking mighty suspicious right about now!” he told her triumphantly, lowering his head and putting his hands on his hips.
“Says who?” Gilda flared her wings at Phoenix in an intimidating fashion, adding some orange eye glow for effect.
But Phoenix wasn’t fazed—if you think a couple of glowing eyes are going to intimidate me now, you’ve got nothing on Twilight! he thought to himself, remembering with a shiver her soul-piercing red-eyed stare from the previous night as she finally vented her anger over his treatment of Fluttershy to him. “Says the rules of court, Miss Behertz! But if you really want to leave, I’m sure our friendly bailiffs will happily escort you to detention for questioning?” he suggested mildly through a gleeful grin, making Gilda gnash her teeth and give a pony-like snort. Huh. Would never have guessed griffons have teeth!
“Witness, just ignore his empty threats!” Trixie directed. “That said, if you’d told Trixie about where you were hiding, Trixie could have been prepared for this and had you out of here faster!” she added, causing Phoenix’s lip to curl as she cast blame on her own witness. “Unfortunately, since you didn’t, we will all now be forced to endure one of Mister Wrong’s interminable pressing sessions!” She sat back with a disgusted look.
And if you’d done YOUR job, Trixie, you would have seen she was lying through her teeth and never called her to the stand at ALL! Phoenix held his tongue as The Judge spoke up.
“I’m afraid Mister Wright is correct, Miss Behertz. There is a significant discrepancy in your testimony that casts suspicion upon you. If you wish to dispel it, you will testify here and now as to what you did after the murder!” he told her, looking down from his bench sternly at Gilda while Phoenix nodded in agreement, leaning over the rail and listening intently.
“Fine!” Gilda spat out, turning her attention back on Phoenix, flaring her wings in anger and giving him her most menacing glare. “You have no idea how much I want to beat the living snot out of that little blue worm right now!”
Gulp! Phoenix felt a trickle of sweat down his back as she turned the full force of her predatory gaze on him, looking like she wanted to rip him apart on the spot.
Glowing eyes aren’t scary to me… but the rest of her IS! he admitted, praying Twilight would hasten her return.
—————— WITNESS TESTIMONY ——————
— After the crime —“After the lightning came down, Dash flew off at top speed towards Ponyville. I chased her out of the woods, but she had a head start and I lost sight of her when she reached the town. I wasn’t sure what to do next, so I went to Canterlot instead to consult with the Kingdom Consulate on whether to come forward as a witness.”
“There! Can I go, now?” Gilda asked, looking around with a scowl.
“Uh… I’m afraid Mister Wright has the right to cross-examine you,” The Judge informed her, almost apologetically.
Gilda turned to Phoenix in annoyance and impatience. “Make it snappy, parrot-head! I’m on a tight schedule here!”
Despite her bravado, Phoenix couldn’t keep the grin off his face. This one is just too easy. I can see even Trixie spotted it! he thought, noticing the showmare’s renewed glare at her own witness.
“Let the cross-examination begin!” The Judge proclaimed.
—————— CROSS-EXAMINATION ——————
“After the lightning came down, Dash flew off at top speed towards Ponyville. I chased her out of the woods, but she had a head start and I lost sight of her when she reached the town.”
Phoenix could barely contain himself as he raised his arm to point at the griffon witness yet again. “Thought you would have learned not to lie the first time, Gilda,” he told her with a grin, eliciting an angry hiss and fresh wing flare.
“Aw, go—I mean, screw you, you scrawny little…!” she spat out, sounding like she had barely caught herself from saying something extremely vulgar.
“You can insult me all you like, but it doesn’t change anything! From the looks of it, even the prosecution isn’t happy with you right now!” he noted, nodding over to Trixie’s side of the court, where the mare magician was again leaning irately over her rail, glaring at Gilda.
“Mister Wrong is right! You’re making me look bad!” Trixie confirmed.
“And I didn’t even need to question you on anything—the contradiction is there in plain sight!” Phoenix piled on.
“Wh-what are you talking about?” Gilda demanded to know, shifting nervously behind the witness stand. Rainbow Dash, Phoenix noticed, seemed to be watching the spectacle quite happily, a gleeful smile on her face as she watched Phoenix pick Gilda’s testimony apart.
“What are you talking about, Mister Wright?” The Judge wanted to know as well.
“Simple, Your Honor—if Gilda had truly been following Rainbow Dash out of the forest towards Ponyville, a certain individual would have seen her!” he informed the court, picking up a fresh sheet of transcript paper and tapping it with the back of his fingers for emphasis. “You may recall that in her testimony, Fluttershy stated she saw Rainbow Dash fleeing the forest! You may also recall she had the perfect vantage point to do so, as her cottage is located right on the edge of it?”
“Oh! That’s right!” The Judge caught on. “Ms. Fluttershy was watching!”
“Exactly, Your Honor!” That kind and wonderful pony who I accused of murder just to buy another day; that kind and wonderful pony who then saved me from certain death when she had every reason to hate me, he reminded himself, knowing that even with her forgiveness and friendship, he would never fully live it down. I’ll atone by freeing Rainbow and doing what I can to fix your friendship with her, he silently promised, putting it out of his head for now.
“Problem is… she didn’t mention anything about you, Gilda! Kind of odd when you claim you were in hot pursuit of Rainbow Dash, don’t you think?” he noted dryly to a fresh undercurrent of conversation from the audience; looking up, he saw many ponies, including his gym friends, perched on the edge of their seats and leaning forward to watch the riveting spectacle. Glancing at a different spot in the gallery, he noticed Applejack and Rarity leaning in close to each other and exchanging opinions in low whispers; even Spike seemed intrigued, watching the scene intently.
He grinned at that. The show’s just getting started, folks! “So the conclusion we can draw from your latest lie is simple, Miss Behertz: you never left the forest!” he accused with an upraised arm and pointed finger.
Gilda gave another shriek of frustration, losing so many fresh feathers Phoenix wondered if she’d have any left after he was through with her. Finally! I’m WINNING! Trixie’s third-person has nothing on my first-person! he thought in some glee until…
Or maybe not? Phoenix knew the smug look on Trixie’s face never boded him or his case well.
“Getting a little ahead of ourselves, aren’t we, Mister Wrong?” she asked him in a rhetorical tone.
“Whatever do you mean, Trixie?” he answered calmly, recomposing himself quickly.
In response, her horn flared and she levitated the identical sheet of transcript off her own bench, studying it through narrowed eyes. “You’re basing this contradiction off a witness who was accused yesterday,” she reminded him.
“But she was cleared of involvement!” Phoenix immediately stated, trying to head Trixie off before suspicion could be cast on Fluttershy again.
“Oh! That’s not what Trixie is claiming, Mister Wrong,” she clarified, closing her eyes and putting a hoof to her chest in mock innocence. “But that same witness did not see Apple Bloom leave the forest that night either, when we all know that filly did get home safely,” she reminded him somewhat painfully. “Apple Bloom could only have exited along the path that passes near the cottage, yet Fluttershy didn’t see her. So if she missed seeing one witness leave the forest, she could very easily have missed seeing another!”
This time, it was Phoenix who was caught off-guard. She’s right, he realized, the revelation made even more painful by the fact it was himself who had originally pointed that out in an attempt to discredit Fluttershy’s testimony. Didn’t realize how badly that would come back to bite me in the butt!
The Judge nodded in agreement. “The prosecution has a point here. While that witness may have been innocent, her testimony had a gaping hole in it.”
Trixie looked very pleased at that, her hoof on her chest again. “Naturally. And thus, we can’t accuse the witness here based on that testimony alone!” she followed up, daring Phoenix to say otherwise.
“Yeah, that other pony is the liar here, not me!” Gilda insisted, causing an angry eruption of snorts and hoofstomps in the gallery from those who knew Fluttershy—none more so than Rarity, to Phoenix’s surprise; she was being restrained by Applejack and Spike, looking ready to leap down from the gallery and strangle Gilda for her slander on the spot.
Phoenix’s mind raced. I have to prove Gilda didn’t leave that forest! But how? “We… we can’t just dismiss this!” he insisted, stalling for time while he tried to come up with an idea. “The witness had to have stayed in there!”
Trixie gave him a contemptuous look. “Evidence speaks louder than words, Mister Wrong. If you really think she didn’t leave, then prove it instead of stumbling and stammering like you normally do!” she needled.
“Mister Wright, do you have any evidence supporting your claim that Miss Gilda did not leave that forest?” The Judge asked directly.
Put up or shut up time, Phoenix! Think, think! THINK! he ordered himself, turning her testimony over in his head again and trying to match it to anything in his evidence bag. Wait a minute—of COURSE! he stood up straighter as the answer hit him, mentally kicking himself for not seeing it sooner. I think now is a better time than any to reveal Gilda’s occupation!
“I have proof this witness did not leave that forest, Your Honor!” he proclaimed triumphantly, going for his evidence bag as he made his announcement.
Trixie gave him a look that was equal parts disbelieving and disdainful. “Oh, please, Mister Wrong. How could you possibly prove something like that?”
“With this!” Phoenix announced, holding high a single sheet of paper that Twilight had told him she had procured from a local mail carrier the previous day.
“A paper? Really?” Gilda asked scornfully. “That’s all you got?”
“What is this, Mister Wright?” The Judge wanted to know.
“It’s Ponyville’s mail delivery schedule from the night of the murder,” he explained.
“And what exactly does that prove, Mister Wrong?” Trixie asked, Phoenix noting a slightly more wary tone to her voice that told him she knew at least in part what he was getting at. Meanwhile, somewhere up in the gallery, a certain skew-eyed grey pegasus mare whispered excitedly to neighboring ponies, though they had no idea what she meant by a ‘turnabout schedule’.
“Right here, in black and white, it clearly states that the Griffon Express was to deliver a package to the Ponyville Post Office the night of the incident at 10pm—less than half an hour after the murder!” Phoenix informed the court. “However, that package never arrived!”
“Oh! So this witness is a mail courier?” The Judge asked, looking pleased at his insight.
“Exactly! Unless the witness cares to deny it?” He smirked at Gilda, his hands on his hips again, daring her to do so. Very tellingly, both she and Trixie remained silent. “I have reason to believe this witness lost her delivery in the forest, as that was where this bag was found!” he elaborated, next bringing out a brown leather satchel with a long strap. “I’m told that this bag is of griffon make and is frequently used by griffon couriers to deliver packages. Therefore, I believe that this satchel contained the undelivered package, lost by Miss Behertz in the forest on the night of the murder!” he announced, causing Gilda to visibly cringe.
“Hey, hold on there! You got no proof that’s my bag or that it was even me delivering a package!” Gilda groped for a denial, flaring her wings and trying to pin Phoenix with a predatory stare again.
“That’s right! If that schedule said ‘Pony Express’, would that mean Trixie was delivering the mail?” the showmare suggested.
Phoenix had to suppress a sudden image of Trixie as part of the old west courier service of his own world. I’m sure the local Indians would have taken special note of a small blue horse with a horn! he thought, wondering if they would have worshiped her as a goddess (ugh!) or made her perform tricks for them.
“There are many pages to a chapter, Trixie—let me finish,” he replied. “We could just ask the Griffon Express who was delivering the package that night. Or failing that, we could do forensic analysis on the bag for traces of the witness’s fur or feathers to prove ownership. But in fact, none of that is necessary!”
Trixie gave him another askance look. “Not necessary?” she repeated.
Phoenix nodded. “Because that’s where my second piece of evidence comes in—this invoice!” he said as he pulled out the perfume invoice Rarity had given him after she had fixed his suit for the first time the previous day.
While the unicorn bailiffs magically produced copies of the documents for The Judge and prosecution, he glanced up in the stands to see Rarity herself giving him a look of surprise and confusion. She’s not going to like what comes next, he knew, hoping she wouldn’t hold it against him.
The Judge recoiled when he finally saw the copied document. “WOW!!!! That’s mighty expensive for a single bottle of perfume!” he noted, having learned the rough value of a ‘bit’ the previous night through half a keg of apple cider.
Phoenix nodded at that. “It’s imported from across the Antlertic Ocean, Your Honor,” he explained, wondering what to make of how similar place names seemed to be between Equestria and Earth. “It’s very exclusive; that and the long-distance delivery are why it demands such a high price.”
“Tell me, Mister Wrong,” Trixie broke in with a sigh of strained patience. “What does perfume have to do with any of this? You hardly strike me as a connoisseur of scents. Or are you simply hoping to impress a prospective marefriend?” she asked with a smirk, to some laughter from the audience—and appreciative whinnies from his gym friends.
Phoenix’s cheeks warmed at that, an image of Twilight flashing through his mind. Forcing thoughts of her out of his head for the moment, he next brought out the perfume bottle Twilight had told him she and Apple Bloom had found in the forest.
Have to remember to find Apple Bloom when this is over… thank her for helping Twilight and tell her I forgive her for lying yesterday, he reminded himself, having been told by Twilight that the young filly had wanted him to know she was sorry for doing so. Later, though… “Twilight Sparkle found this perfume yesterday. Can you guess where...?” he trailed off meaningfully.
Gilda looked like she was gnashing her teeth again, giving a low, frustrated growl but otherwise did not reply.
Phoenix answered for her. “She found it in that very same satchel in the forest, not far from the crime scene! This perfume never arrived yesterday, so we can conclude that the contents of that satchel—this perfume—was the undelivered package the Ponyville Post Office reported as being lost!”
“Ha!” Trixie snorted. “You still didn’t prove a thing, Mister Wrong! The bag with the perfume was found in the forest, yes. But the schedule only states it was the Griffon Express delivering the perfume, not Gilda!” she took pains to make the distinction. “Like she said, she isn’t the only griffon that ships items! In fact, I believe there is a second such griffon sitting in the gallery right now!” she noted with a nod behind Phoenix’s bench.
Surprised, Phoenix looked up to see a second, blue-eyed griffon female sitting in the front row, wearing a headband as well as a very disgusted look at what she was hearing. “Your Honor, may I introduce Lenora Arielle. She was asked to attend the trial as a representative of the Griffon Government to confirm the terms of Gilda’s testimony were met, but she is also a mail courier herself, taking time off from her duties to compete in the Equestrian 500,” Trixie explained.
So that’s Lenora! Phoenix realized in some surprise, giving her a brief nod of acknowledgement, resolving to thank her as well for the help she’d given Twilight the previous day. “I intend on proving it was Gilda doing the delivery right now!” he announced, turning his attention back to Trixie. “This perfume has a rather… unique property: the fragrance is long-lasting, and I think someone here decided to help themselves to a free sample!” He pinned Gilda with a knowing look. She shrank back at that, watching him warily out of the corner of her eye. “Tell me—does anyone else smell that foul odor lingering in the courtroom right now?”
The Judge’s nose wrinkled at that. “Yes, I have for quite some time. I didn’t want to be rude, but I thought you forgot to bathe this morning, Mister Wright,” he said, sounding embarrassed for him.
Phoenix’s cheeks flushed and shoulders slumped. “It’s not me! It’s coming off another individual in this courtroom!” he spelled it out. Just how much did you have to drink last night, Your Honor? he suddenly wondered, thinking The Judge was even slower on the uptake than usual.
Trixie reacted in surprise and alarm to the news, her wizard hat shooting off her head from her first magical misfire of the day.
Phoenix was only too pleased to confirm what she was thinking. “I see you’ve figured it out, Trixie—that rancid stench is coming off our own weaselly witness!” he announced to the courtroom.
“Mister Wright! Are you saying this witness has bad hygiene?” The Judge scolded him.
And what did you just accuse ME of, Your Honor? he didn’t ask. “No, Your Honor! I’m simply saying that she’s a thief! he clarified, pointing an accusing finger at Gilda. “Don’t believe me? Take a whiff of the perfume in question!” he directed, passing the bottle to a unicorn bailiff to give to The Judge, very glad he didn’t have to smell it again himself—just sniffing the cap at a distance during his evidence review with Twilight had been nearly enough to make him retch.
The Judge waited until it was floated to him before giving the bottle and purple liquid inside a leery look. “Hmmm…” he began, uncorking it to take a tentative sniff, only to recoil, his eyes full of tears and struggling to keep his breakfast down after waking up with a hangover that morning. “Ulg! It smells like a rotting skunk basted in expired milk!” he announced to the courtroom, holding the bottle well away from his head as he recorked it, still gagging heavily.
There was a high-pitched shriek heard in the gallery as Rarity fainted dead away, being held up by Applejack while she was fanned frantically with Applejack’s Stetson by Spike. Seeing that, Phoenix decided that once the trial was over—and if he was allowed to stay in Equestria for a bit—he would offer Rarity his services to sue the perfume manufacturer for false advertising.
‘Like morning dew on a blooming rose’, my FOOT! I’ve smelled pig sties that were less malodorous than THAT! “Now take a sniff of the aroma coming off our witness here!” he directed.
When Gilda was less than willing to allow one of the bailiffs to approach her for a single headfeather, a silently fuming Trixie magically plucked one herself and floated it The Judge. She looked very annoyed at the turn of events, her gaze somehow going even icier than usual.
“H-hey!” Gilda grabbed at the back of her head at the brief sting for the lost feather while The Judge sniffed it from his bench. He then drew back in shock, his eyes wide.
“Oh my word! The odors are the same!” he announced to all present, causing the gallery to erupt in whispered conversation again; Phoenix couldn’t hear much more than snippets, but the tone of it was now very much against Gilda. “This witness committed perjury!” The Judge proclaimed, pinning Gilda with his most intimidating glare. “She was the one who delivered that package!”
Phoenix nodded in satisfaction. He’s always a bit slow on the uptake, but give him credit for always getting it in the end! “Clearly, she used some of the perfume on herself. Little did she know it was long-lasting, and it would tie her to that bag!” Crowd’s on my side; let’s see if I can ride that momentum to victory now!
“Witness… tell them!” Trixie ordered in a tone approaching weary.
“T-tell them what?” Gilda asked in poorly feigned innocence.
“Tell them why you never left the forest!” Trixie spelled it out, leaning over the rail angrily.
“But it’s confidential!” Gilda protested, causing many in the gallery to look at each other in confusion.
Trixie was unsympathetic. “You’re in boiling water right now, witness!” the showmare informed her. “When you lied, the agreement on your testimony was invalidated! But if you tell the court and Mister Totally, Completely, Definitively, 100% Dead Wrong exactly why you stayed in that forest, he’ll have nothing against you!”
Phoenix very much doubted that, but was curious as to what the back-and-forth between Trixie and Gilda meant. It almost sounds like Trixie knew Gilda stayed in the forest and was keeping it secret. She wouldn’t be THAT stupid, would she…? he wondered, fervently hoping that she was.
To his surprise, The Judge caught it as well. “Ms. Trixie! You knew the witness never left the woods?” he demanded to know, a suddenly severe look on his face.
And to Phoenix’s even greater surprise, Trixie confirmed it. “Yes… I did.”
Phoenix drew himself up straight and pinned the mare magician with his fiercest glare. I don’t care if you insult me, Trixie, but when you deliberately withhold evidence to try to bolster your case, you’ve officially crossed the line!
“Your Honor! The prosecution knowingly withheld vital information from this court!” he announced in a loud, clear voice, pointing right at Trixie. “The defense demands she be held in contempt!” He slammed the rail hard.
“You’re actually resorting to that? You must be desperate, Mister Wrong!” Trixie wasn’t about to take that lying down, her mouth set in a thin, straight line. “It’s not even my fault! Those mangy griffons are the ones to blame!”
“MANGY?!!!??!?!?” Gilda turned her ire on Trixie this time, flaring her wings and making her eyes glow in the direction of the unicorn prosecutor.
Trixie ignored her. “They told me off the record to keep her occupation and her screw-up purely confidential if she was to testify!” she explained, speaking quickly. “Trade negotiations are being conducted between the Kingdom and Equestria right now, and they were worried that if it got out that a supposedly reputable griffon courier service both opened and lost a private package, they’d lose leverage in the talks! I was only trying to abide by their wishes; I would have shared this information right away if it wasn’t for them!”
Far from impressed, Phoenix slammed his hands down on the rail, hard. “That’s no excuse, Trixie! You should never have made such a bargain if it involved concealing information, and worse, suborning perjury!” he reminded her and The Judge, lowering his opinion of the mare magician several notches as he did so, both as a pony and a prosecutor. “The violation of court rules here are clear, Your Honor! She must be held in contempt!” he told The Judge again, eagerly awaiting his gavel to come down hard on Trixie. A night or two in jail should do wonders for her disposition! He couldn’t help but grin at the thought.
To his surprise, The Judge looked like he was hesitating, eyes closed as he considered the situation, rubbing his temples like he had a headache again. “I let your co-counsel off with a warning yesterday when I could have very easily cited her for contempt, Mister Wright. So in fairness, I feel I must do the same here,” he announced to Phoenix’s surprise. “That said, Ms. Trixie—you are hereby penalized twice: once for withholding information, and again for attempting to circumvent my authority and the rules of this court!” He brought his gavel down to make it official, grabbing for a citation scroll. “They will go on your record, and you will pay a 50-bit fine for each penalty at trial’s end!”
“Thank you, Your Honor.” Phoenix was pleased to see The Judge assert himself for once.
He gave Phoenix a look. “I didn’t do it for you, Mister Wright. And as of this moment, both the prosecution and defense are on notice: given repeated shenanigans by both sides, we are past penalties at this point. I am not in the mood for theatrics this morning, so any further infraction of the rules of this court by either of you will result in an immediate contempt citation, at the maximum penalty allowed—five nights in jail, and a five hundred-bit fine! Is that clear?” he asked, looking back and forth between Trixie and Phoenix, pinning each with his glare in turn.
Phoenix sighed, sorry to see Trixie get off the hook but unable to refute The Judge’s reasoning. Still a nice change that The Judge is threatening someone other than just me! “Yes, Your Honor.”
“Understood,” Trixie grated out through briefly gritted teeth. With that, the mare magician turned her attention back to Gilda. “As you can see, witness… Trixie isn’t too happy with you or the Griffon Consulate right now,” she said in a surprisingly calm and mild tone that Phoenix could tell belied extreme anger; squinting, Phoenix thought for a moment that he could see the mare magician’s breath like she was surrounded by icy air.
That’s the second or third time that’s happened. Can’t be a coincidence, he somewhat idly noted, remembering from his reading that more powerful unicorns could manifest elemental magic when they were very upset or enraged. I’m pretty sure Twilight’s element is fire. Maybe Trixie’s is ice…?
“To make up for that… Trixie very much wants to watch Mister Wrong’s pathetic arguments flounder.” She gave Phoenix a brief and unpleasant grin. “So as the secret’s now out, tell them why you stayed in the forest that night, witness!” she ordered, finishing her sentence with some snap in her voice. “Do that, and you not only go free, but Mister Wrong and his pathetic excuse for a client go down!” she promised, causing Rainbow to audibly growl.
“Huh…” Gilda took on her own haughty pose, making an apathetic gesture with an upturned forepaw. “Since you put it like that, it would be my pleasure to tell you why I was there!” she said, settling back into the witness stand. “I’ll get in trouble back at work, but it’s worth it to make that blue hedgehog-head over there shut up!”
Phoenix stifled a grin at that. Hey, I LIKE playing the blue hedgehog! he thought, thinking of a popular video game crossover series Maya had gotten him hooked on, suddenly wondering what souvenirs he could bring Maya and Pearls from his stay in Equestria.
“Tell us, then, witness—what were you doing in that forest, and why didn’t you leave?” The Judge asked.
Gilda growled, but answered. “Blue Boy over there is right. I’m a courier for the Griffon Express,” she finally confirmed to an upsurge of whispers from the gallery, including an angry hiss in back of Phoenix that he thought might have come from Lenora. “That night, I had been coming in from the west into Ponyville after delivering some packages to Hoofington. And yes, that can be proven,” she added before Phoenix could ask. “Both towns were on my delivery schedule, which I can show you if you really want to see.”
“The prosecution can vouch for this as well,” Trixie spoke up. “We have said delivery schedule in our possession and can share it if the court wishes,” she said, being unusually placating after her close call with the contempt citation.
“The defense does not require such proof. Continue,” Phoenix invited. Not going off on a tangent unless it’s my own!
“Right. So I was on my way in from Hoofington. That’s when I—” she cleared her throat “—heard… the murder,” she took pains to clarify. “I dropped the perfume while I was chasing after Dash and couldn’t find it in the underbrush afterwards. We couldn’t afford to tell anyone I lost it—no one could know about this since the Griffon Express is supposed to be reliable and wants to expand its operations in Equestria,” she explained. “The new trade agreement they’re negotiating with Equestria is key to that, so the embassy wanted it kept quiet.”
“Sounds pretty unreliable, at least where you’re concerned!” Phoenix needled, deciding the volatile eagless was more likely to make mistakes when riled than when she was calm.
It worked a little too well, as Gilda suddenly reared up and let off a savage leonine roar that caused half the equine gallery to flinch back… and Phoenix to dive under his bench, having been given a severe flashback to the attack of the Timberwolves the previous day.
The Judge looked at the spot he had previously stood in disbelief while several equine snickers were heard from the gallery. “Mister Wright! Show some backbone!” The Judge ordered, taking up the questioning himself in Phoenix’s absence. “Why did you use the perfume on yourself, witness?”
“Because I was curious to know what one of those rich-pony perfumes smelled like! I just put on one spray! I didn’t think anybody would mind!” a freshly flustered Gilda answered, looking up at Lenora for support but not getting any, the blue-eyed griffon female giving her counterpart on the witness stand a slow, reproachful shake of her head.
“Howdy!” Phoenix reappeared in a shaky voice, having nearly gotten the trembling of his legs back under control.
“Back, Mister Wrong?” Trixie asked, sounding genuinely amused for the first time since early in the session.
“Eh… sorry, my shoes were untied,” he offered weakly, taking on his goofy expression again.
“Your shoes are slip-ons,” Trixie pointed out, causing Phoenix’s cheeks to flush again.
“Uh…” he stammered, his cheeks going red again to snickers from the audience. “This witness was caught red-hoofed stealing!” he pointed out with an upraised arm and pointed finger, trying to regain some of his lost authority.
“This is a trial for murder, not thievery!” Trixie quickly replied. “Trixie thinks the explanation she gave clears up why she lied. Trixie again offers her apologies to this court for any doubts the previously hidden information may have caused,” she announced grandly, hoof over her chest again.
“I do too! Now can I go?” Gilda asked The Judge. “Can’t I just retract everything I’ve said so far? I thought this would be quick!”
Phoenix experienced a moment of panic at that. “We can’t let her go! She has something to do with all this!” he insisted, his mind tying itself in knots trying to find the answer as to how.
“Now I see what you mean, Trixie. This dweeb just doesn’t know when to give up!” Gilda said in an aside, a smug note back in her voice.
Phoenix looked up sharply at that. “And I see you don’t know when to stop lying!”
Gilda pinned him with another menacing stare. “Oh, you want to start something, you pointy-haired pansy? These talons ain’t just for show, you know!” She flared her wings and flexed her claws in his direction, entering a half-crouch like she was ready to pounce.
“Uh… no… I… uh…” Phoenix stammered with a hand behind his head again, not really comforted by the several pony bailiffs stepping forward in case they were needed to protect him from her. Twilight, where ARE you? he mentally called for her, unable to keep himself from ducking under the desk once more.
Trixie started talking again as Phoenix clutched his head and took several deep breaths under his bench, trying valiantly to fight off the forest flashbacks that were doing their best to overcome him. “While you’re cowering like a frightened foal, consider this, Mister Wrong: The only thing you have on this witness is that she didn’t directly see the murder. Which doesn’t even matter in the long run,” the mare magician began.
“Trixie grants she didn’t see the lightning bolt hit the victim. But anyone who sees the flash of the bolt and then hears the boom followed by a scream—as she did—can certainly draw a safe conclusion as to what happened! She may be an earwitness as opposed to an eyewitness, but her testimony is no less authoritative for it!”
“Yeah, exactly!” Gilda piped up again while Phoenix was still indisposed. “Rainbow Dash killed that other pegasus with that storm cloud! I know she did!” she insisted, causing Rainbow herself to give a strangled sound, pulling at her restraints with renewed ferocity; Phoenix later thought he wouldn’t want to place odds on the outcome of a fight between the pair.
Trixie looked at her witness in fresh fury while Phoenix instantly perked up, having instinctively locked on to the contradiction the statement contained.
“Oops! You did it again, Gilda!” he announced, forcing himself to stand up straight again, ignoring the cold sweat that was covering him and the ongoing shaking of his knees. Wonder how much in therapy this place is going to cost me? he thought only half-jokingly, fearing he’d never truly be over what happened in the Everfree.
“Huh?”
“I’m doing my best to bail you out but you keep making things worse!” Trixie informed her, bringing a hoof down hard on her rail.
“WHAT DID I DO?” Gilda demanded to know.
“Let me fill you in, Gilda,” Phoenix offered with a smug grin, taking a quick swig of water from the glass in front of him and wiping his brow with Rarity’s handkerchief. Or should that be ‘hoofkerchief?’ “How did you know the victim was a pegasus?”
The griffon’s head shot around angrily to face Phoenix, pinning him with a glare once more. “Because, I…” she trailed off, her eyes going wide and feathered head starting to sweat again as she realized her mistake.
“His name hasn’t even been uttered to you yet, nor has the type of pony he was. He could have been a unicorn or earth pony for all you knew, and you’ve already admitted you didn’t get a good look at him—even before you said you were behind that tree we’ve now established you couldn’t see through!” Phoenix spelled it out, more for The Judge and the gallery than for her. He heard a fresh round of whispers coming from the ponies in the audience at that, catching part of at least one conversation where two mares were speculating openly whether Gilda had in fact committed the murder, their main proof being that they were meat-eaters and therefore couldn’t be trusted.
Despite his lingering unease, Phoenix was put off by that—I eat meat, does that mean I’M untrustworthy and capable of murder? “Then immediately afterwards, you said you chased Rainbow Dash. So, Gilda, I just want to know one thing: how did you know he was a pegasus?”
Gilda’s headfeathers were now completely matted down from sweat. “I-I… uh…” she stammered.
“Tell us now!” Trixie ordered sharply, to Phoenix’s momentary surprise. “I can’t believe you lied again after I got those penalties!” she added, causing Phoenix to roll his eyes.
This isn’t about YOU, Trixie! he wanted to tell her, wishing Edgeworth was there to witness her performance. He’d give her an earful after the trial, that’s for sure!
Gilda gave Trixie a disgusted look. “Oh, so now you’re turning on me? What a typical lame pony!” she said to unfriendly sounds from the gallery.
Trixie’s eyes narrowed. “’Lame Pony’? I’m not the one letting Ace Idiot over there get the best of me!” the mare magician retorted, casting Phoenix a contemptuous look.
Thwarted, Gilda rounded on Phoenix again, giving him her most ferocious and predatory glare. “That brings me to you, blueberry!” she said, lowering her head and flaring her wings at him, making her eyes glow their most ominous shade of orange. “You better watch your back from here on out! Because you’re officially pissing me off now!” she informed him, hoping to take some satisfaction from seeing the human lawyer cower under his bench again.
To her surprise, Phoenix closed his eyes only briefly before opening them again, lowering his own head and leaning over his rail to lock gazes with her, not a trace of fear in his eyes.
“I’m not afraid of you, Gilda. In fact, I think it’s quite the opposite, actually—I think you are afraid of me!” Phoenix grinned, showing his teeth, marveling at how easy it was to throw off his fright—he’d simply remembered Fluttershy standing up to the Timberwolves and imagined the shy pegasus was right there beside him, steeling him, envisioning her turning her stare on Gilda as he raised his own eyes to meet the griffon female’s.
Wow—who would have thought when I first met her that Fluttershy would be my rock and inspiration! he couldn’t help but note, realizing he now had one more thing to be grateful to her for.
Gilda gave a frustrated snort, not understanding why Phoenix was suddenly unintimidated by her.
“I actually share sentiments with the prosecution,” Phoenix announced, causing Trixie’s jaw to drop open, her eyes widening in surprise. “I don’t like your type—the ones who fib and lie to save their own hide. You bully and hurt others just to feel better about yourself and make life hard on prosecutors and defense attorneys alike.” It’s a peace offering, Trixie. Will you take it?
To little surprise, she didn’t. “Don’t you dare compare yourself to the GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie, Mister Wrong!” she said in an insulted tone. “That’s like comparing an ant to a hoof!”
“Oh my! A three-way tussle between the defense, prosecution and witness? How exciting!” The Judge remarked before catching himself, clearing his throat. “Er—I mean, ORDER!!!!” he demanded, banging his gavel down hard. “We are straying way off-topic!” he added, turning his gaze back to Gilda when he was satisfied he had the courtroom’s attention again.
“Witness, you have committed perjury on several occasions in your testimony now. While both you and the prosecution may have tried to justify it, lying is still lying!” he pronounced, to a series of loud and appreciative hoofclops from the gallery—coming from one pony in particular, Phoenix quickly recognized.
“You tell ‘er, yer honor!” Applejack called out from the audience, waving her Stetson hat appreciatively before getting shushed by a recovered Rarity.
“So what?” Gilda fell back on some attitude, ignoring Applejack’s outburst.
The Judge was unamused. “I’ll grant you one last chance to testify,” he offered, his eyes only briefly flickering towards Applejack in the stands. “But if you are caught lying again, you will be discredited as a witness! Your statements will be struck from the court record, and you will be taken away by the authorities for further questioning and held pending trial on perjury charges!” he warned, the tone of his voice informing Gilda and everypony else in the courtroom he was not making idle threats.
“N-no!” Gilda pleaded, a glimmer of fear in her eyes.
“It’s not so hard, Gilda. Just tell the truth,” Phoenix said in a slightly patronizing tone like he was speaking to a child that had lied about taking a piece of a candy. And that reminds me. I still need to talk to Pearls about who’s been raiding my office jelly bean jar!
“Oh, you are dead meat!!!!” Gilda threatened, flexing her talons and stepping out of the witness stand, starting to stalk towards him.
“Leave him alone!” Trixie ordered her formerly star witness before the bailiffs could intervene, flaring her horn beneath her hat to yank Gilda back into the witness box with her magic. “You’re the one who’s ‘dead meat’ if you attack him or lie again!”
Oh, how cute, she’s sticking up for me! Phoenix thought, starting to think that perhaps Trixie had some redeeming qualities after all. Remember, even Edgeworth started off as a bad guy!
“Besides, Mister Wrong is Trixie’s! He shall feel The GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie’s wrath before this trial is over!” she promised, giving Phoenix an unpleasant grin.
Or not… Phoenix’s shoulders slumped, wondering if there was anything he could say or do that could get through to her. Even Franziska isn’t THAT pig-headed!
“Witness, you will testify how you knew the victim was a pegasus!” The Judge ordered, ending the exchange. “And for your own sake, tell the truth this time!” he further instructed, lowering his head and putting an ominous note in his voice.
Gilda rubbed her eyes with the back of her talons. “Ugh… I don’t believe this!” she said out loud, looking to Phoenix like she’d rather be anywhere else in Equestria at that moment.
Welcome to my world, Gilda! Phoenix allowed himself a brief grin. I just have to break one last testimony, and then I can not only discredit you, but prove Rainbow innocent in the process!
Stats
Page generated in 0.061 seconds
Total duration
1,093 users online
2,165,688 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
And so it has begun the great wait of our time.
That Sonic reference was perfect.
Way to go Phoenix, lawyer powers activate!
2808387
You know that they made a series of this on Youtube, right?
AH YEA. I actually felt I was playing a ace attorney game while I was reading this chapter, especially if you play the cornered theme while reading.
2805413 have fun! That case scares me so much. You'll see at the end of the investigation of day 2. And end of trial 3.
Just had to have that playing in the background.
2809089 I cried... this is beautiful~
2809231
Actually, there's a case going on in the comments section to prove that the cat is doing all the singing.
2808804 Yes but we all are waiting for 5/4 now so I am referring to both this and the video series.
2810208
There's two or three more chapters before the story is caught up through the end of part 4... so on this side of things, still some more to come.
Now this is gonna be good. Shit will hit the fan, HARD. As in, HULK SMASH hard.
2809089 Thanks to him, I figured out that the Cornered Song, what was Pinkie was humming in Sonata's Room.
2809337 I was like... "What?"
I feel this is appropriate:
2819774
Appreciate the video! I watched it last night... found it a little *too* abbreviated in terms of the trials and investigations from the games, but hit most of the high notes and was more or less true to the spirits of the characters. The hair styles were a little too forced, I thought, but everyone was recognizable with the possible exception of Detective Gumshoe (not even close; it takes more than a cheek bandage to make him!)
Thanks for sharing!
2826903 The feeling that the hairdoes and such were forced just adds to the wackiness that's supposed to be present in Phoenix Wright. As for Gumshoe, I was able to recognize him straight on from those three big hairs that come from the top of his head, I don't even remember whether he had a bandage or not.
I can't wait for the next part!(I'll be ripping my hair out until it is out!)
Gilda...you're an utterly, complete, total idiot.
Nice job there Phoenix on finding all of the contradictions in her testimony.
And on a final note, I would like to quote SaberSpark from his documentary video on Bronies.
"GRIFFONS SUCK!"
- SaberSpark
~ Super-Brony12
Am I a bad person for wanting Phoenix to say this to Gilda while she was intimidating him? "My species has hunted, and eaten both of the species you make up. Do not mistake humans for creatures like ponies, zebras, or bunnies. We're like you, hunters, meat-eaters, and the most deservedly arrogant species around. Except for one little thing, we're at the top. We can back up our boasts, we're the strongest. Nothing hunts us, nothing opposes us. We're the best hunters in the world. So no, I'm not afraid of you."
I just kept thinking it and hoping for Phoenix to at least think something like it.
Heh... blue hedgehog... I see what'cha did there.
I wanna read about Twily again...hopefully her talks with Shy is in one of those chapters...
fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/388601_554603267885200_1106426767_n.jpg
The defense is confused with the victim's gender!!!
Yikes, he may be silly sometimes, and a fairly nice guy, but he is still the Judge.
3042165
Nah, Phoenix is too nice to say anything like that.
5664318 I would have said
I don't know if I have enough Nirvana for another chapter of Gilda the Griffin. If I run out, I may have to resort to Nickleback!
derpicdn.net/img/2015/4/2/863238/thumb.png
Shouldn't there also be an Objection! before this line? In the games, the prosecutor will object to Phoenix's objection before attempting to shut his argument down.
Did you forget to drink coffee this morning, Elsa? You're starting to look like "Rookie Killer" Payne out there.
The griffies use the F-word? Huh.
Trixie as a goddess? I'd make a joke about that but I'm pretty sure I already referenced the fanfiction where she was already. About a hundred times.
pre08.deviantart.net/2554/th/pre/f/2013/178/7/1/comforting_a_young_goddess_by_zpony-d6b00t3.png
FoE aside, I thought the Pony Express came from the Mongolians? They were the first to institute a horse-transported mail service that spanned their vast empire. The Americans adapted their courier model later. And now you know!
Even on an off-day, Trixie can snark with the best of 'em.
(Groan)
I ask myself that question all the time about this fandom.
derpicdn.net/img/2015/5/3/887780/thumb.jpg
7006864
There wasn't in the videos, but yeah, there should be one here.
Only if she starts patting her own head with a hoof.
Well, she actually did make a middle-talon gesture at Phoenix in the videos, so the word apparently exists.
Currently, we're in a race to see which gets more referenced by your chapter reviews--Xeno or FoE.
I doubt it could really be said the PE was inspired by Mongolians, but there were certainly more romance to it. If you wanted to be a rider, you had to be small (so as to not weigh the horse down too much), devout, and be willing to suffer privations, particularly when you trying to traverse the hostile lands of Utah and Nevada, which were badlands in more ways than one.
Actually, I wouldn't call it an off-day for Trixie. Even took the turnabout Phoenix is pulling here and basically stuffs back down his throat in a couple chapters. In fact, she won the case. Until...
This fandom both causes therapy and provides it at times.
Another AJ addition for the masses. She actually didn't appear at all in the videos outside of the one talk with Phoenix and the very end.
7006864 I like Nickleback
7006864
as long as you have this fandom, you don't need therapy....unless you bump into The-Atrosity-That_Shall_Not-Be-Mentioned.....it was NOT a brony who wrote it, it was written by a scyco the likes of which only exist in nightmares.....
.....