you sir are awesome. i didn't read your previos one but this is just awesome. the only thing i don't like is it's another dash and shy one again. that's not a bad thing but you see my reason. oh well your awesome and so is your work. good luck with the next chapter my fellow writer.

I can never get enough FlutterDash, never. <3

I usually don't like a fxf fic, but this is an exception. It's sweet. Too sweet. ( no such thing is there?)

Mmm, scrumptious flutterdash.

There isn't a lot of characterization, and other than a bit of shyness from Fluttershy in the middle, you could probably alter the trip to be on the ground, then switch out the characters to anything you wanted, and with a a bit more editing make it about anything. It isn't poorly written, and you can't do too much with the length, but slipping in some "I love [x] about you" is an easy way to start.

>>112804112804

Thanks for the advice, i'll take note of it for future reference

Oh wow, new chapter just when i top off at 400 views, Well enjoy the new one Everypony!

Interesting, very interesting.. Looking forward to the next update.

so let me see if i got this straight. in the next chapter it's flutter shy birthday + + everyone else equals = i'm very curious know.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm :)

Heh, I read the description - it sounds almost like a reversal of my own Flutterdash fic, going just by that

Gave it a read - you got some good stuff here. Keep it up.

>>115360115360

Wow it's an honor to hear that from an author i'm a fan of. I really quite liked your FlutterDash fic. It was actually what inspired me to rewrite this one so it was somewhat good. Thank you for you're support!

wow...this series is AMAZING, you are a great author...im very much looking forward to the next part....i always love a good flutterdash fic.

Their friends almost have it figured out.

you are the best author EVER i could read these stories untill i die and then more after that!

I know what's gonna happen next, but i'm not gonna say it because 9/10 bronies probably are thinking the same exact thing.

>>115788115788 Wow, you reckon? Hah! Someone's honoured by me!

Just kidding. That means a lot to me as well

Teen rating for the malequessients wanting clop

great story it needs more plot tho and a little longer on chapters plz

u earned my stars even if its not done

This has become my favorite FlutterDash EVER! <3

Cant wait for the next parts!

To everypony who is just now viewing this sereis, no i did not make all of the chapters on the 8th. First one was made on the 5th, the second one on the 7th, and the third one on the 8th. They only say they are all on the 8th because i just edited them today and gave them titles

sigh twilight sickens me she cant just do that

Twilight y u no can accept them!

You made Twi quite the b--ch didnt you :P

I don't like this moron version of Twilight...

if Twilight does anything, i'll break the fourth wall and take care of this.

>>123588123588

>>123609123609

To the people saying they don't really like how i made twilight a b--tch moron... well that wasn't my intention. I just wanted to her to be misguided like she has been in the show before. Think kind of like the templars from Assassin's Creed. What she wants is good(None of her friends to get hurt) but the way she wants to go about it(Doing something to break FS and RD up) is bad.

....dammit, Twi. Continue down this train of thought and I'll see to it Celestia makes a nice purple unicorn addition to the moon. <<

>>123796123796

The problem is that Twilight seems to have little reason for thinking the way she does. She acts as a person who has seens a copule of bad breakups and how it affects a circle of friends, but as far as we know she actually should have little to no expirience in the matter. Anchoring her behavior to some unfortunate event in her past would probably be helpful in reinforcing the misguided vibe you were going for.

Weird twist. I like it.

>>125522125522

Not a bad idea, i'll say that

O_O so tahts why...

well that explains a lot.

Makes sense. But twilight, really.

Hm. I suppose that explains it. Still seems terribly out of character. *shrug*

Anyway, i'm still intrested in what happens next. Keep up the good work.

Very well thought out good work

i rather enjoy your fiction

Hrm. Want more.

That was really good, nice work cant wait to dive into the other chapters

Nice This chapter made me scream "DAMMIT TWILIGHT" good thing no ones home haha keep up the good work

read the five chapters in one sitting, i honestly cant wait for more, i really need something to follow now that hearts aflutter is on hiatus

This is the best story I have ever read don't stop writing it I would be vary vary vary sad

I caught one little mistake: "Fluttershy was equally amazed by Dash’s cyan colored eyes. They were like perfect round amethyst jewels that twinkled when you looked into them."

Fluttershy has blue eyes, Rainbow's eyes are magenta-ish.

Other than that, awesome chapter!

I have liked all of the chapters.

Omg that was the best one yet I can't believe. Twilight would do that

4 word's twilight is a bitch

OMG

This is amazing Sent chills down my spine at the end there. cant wait for chapter 7

Few punctuation mistakes here and there, otherwise great story editing wise.

Man, I hate cliffhangers. An annoying, yet successful technique for stories.

Don't keep us waiting too long.

It is ironic that, in Twilights attempt to stop the group from fracturing she is driving a divide between herself and everpony else

>>145330145330

Ya it is. But Twilight believes that if she does this, then even if the group suffers repercussions, it will be way less severe than if she allows it to go on for too long to the point where those repercussions would break their group apart.

Don't finish on cliffhangers! or at least post a new chapter son

Hm. Still can't help feeling this is all pretty out of character, but  you gotta divert some to write a fan-fiction.

me: "hey Twilight!''

Twilight: "who said that?"

me: "thanks for nothing, bitch!" *baseball bat*

Twilight would never do that. Besides, Rainbow could always explain that it wasn't her, and that Twilight told her to take a break.

>>145828145828

I TOTALLY didn't consider ANY of that when writing the plot. Oh no no no. I just started typing and made Twi a bitch. Not going to play those into my plot for it's advantage AT ALL. *Sarcasm*

this is great, easily one of my favs

This is one of the best flutterdash fics I've read in a long time, but please don't injure fluttershy and send her to the hospital.  That happens in a lot of flutterdash fics such as "Hearts Aflutter" and "Fire of the Heart".  Great fic though, keep up the awesome work.

yay I love Flutterdash and great writing your awesome now.......time to stay up all night reading the rest XD

I could read these.....Pinkie-FOREVAAARR

Dude great fic I cant wait to read the rest :)

>>161049161049 !

Twilight. Don't. You. DARE!

Twi's bitchiness is off the charts.

I'm gonna go to the library and place chewed gum in between the pages of all the books.

Im more excited than ever to see how this goes and Twilight Y U NO LIKE XD

So that's why she was acting like that awww poor Twi (huggles Twilight ) This is a twist I like it you sir are just awesome

This is the best fic yet Its like a thriller but Twilight that's a little to much I am eagerly awaiting the next chapter I can wait

Hey i was just wondering when the next chapter will be here? it's been a while since an update and i really want to see whats gonna happen.

>>179654179654

Sorry for the wait, I've been a bit busy recently. But I assure you I am working on the next chapter. Right now I am 2,683 words in(By Word's Count, for some reason FIM fiction increases the word count when i post it) and still going. I've had to take a day or two for brainstorming and to make some major plot decisions. So don't fear, I'll try my best to have out as soon as possible

>>179909179909 Alright sick can't wait

You feel sad now Twilight now that you got Fluttershy in danger? Well too bad. I still wanna feed you to Spike

Yay i love this story this chapter was good 5/5 as always.

I have been reading this story from the start and I'm loving it, I must say, that dream had me tearing up, but I can't wait for the next chapter!

Aw, crap.

Rather good chapter!!! Like every other chapter 5/5!

Now show me that shit could seriously go down and you will get 6/5 every time i see your story in my watch list.

-Dashie

Still want magic cupcakes

Thanks for this. It's nice to read a good flutterdash fic. I can't help but notice these mistakes though...

" Fluttershy sensed she was lying do (due?) to how offgaurd (off guard?) and nervous she sounded when she gave the excuses. Had what happened start to break down Rainbow’s self confidence around her? She knew she needed some solution to this; she didn’t want to loose (lose) Dashie as a friend forever.  "

It would help a lot to have a friend proof read a work before posting it up. But other than that, it's awesome :D

>>196132196132

Well, that was the first chapter, after all. I can assure you the grammar has improved . But thank you for your advice and compliments (By the way, I do have a Pre-Reader, I'll make sure he looks out for this stuff from now on).

any date on the next update??????

>>257265257265

Don't you check my page or your email at all? I always release blog messages about things like this. I would ask that next time you check my blog on my FIM page before asking me. Even if you didn't check my page you should still receive notifications via email since I tag most blog posts with this story.

Another great chapter.

WE NEED MORE, MUCH MORE.

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN

>>264572264572 WHAT THEY SAID :D

Twilight, ya done goofed.

Great chapter by the way, never stop doing this...ever

Cheers,

jangledorf

gg Twilight

Well let's see how bad Dash beats Twilight shall we?

Great chapter, my face lit up when I saw this was updated, can't wait for more!

Twilight is about to get the ever living shit beaten out of her... and she deserves ever bit of it... bitch..

Also, just a few grammar issues...

Near the beginning, "had token two symbols..." should be "... had taken two cymbals..."

Closer to the end, "...feeling defeated and weekend. She..." should be "...feeling defeated and weakened. She..."

-gets to part where twilight gets caught in the lie-

HAH! TAKE THAT YOU STUPID BITCH!

-remembers its 1:19 a.m. and im supposed to be asleep to go to school tommorow when i hear a sound from my parents bedroom-

Yup im dead...

...

My face when I read Twilight's reaction:

Great story so far, though.

>>285736285736>>285738285738

Two very excellent points. However, I disagree with the second for religious reasons.

As for the story itself, I felt like the first half was rushed. I enjoyed it anyways though.

Comment is short I know, but I'm at work, and General Manager is walking towards me

well

twilight...

i have no words to describe this

Maybe it's just me, but this really makes me want to see Twilight deal with a relationship. But I don't think most of the mane six would want to give her a shot except for...

Yes. Oh God, yes. If you're doing what I hope you're doing...Buuuut I guess I won't know until next chapter.

Way to pussy out, Twilight.

>>286040286040

What did he say? FIM:Fiction shows only a blank post for me.

Twilight I am dissapoint.

Twilight has put herself in a world of even more hurt....

I still want to beat her.

This is an amazing FlutterDash story. I liked that you dedicated an entire chapter just on Twilight's reasoning behind her actions even if those actions led to  a horrible event.

I can't wait for the next part. For some reason I don't think that Rainbow and Fluttershy told the rest of the girls the whole story. Not sure why, and I know I'm most likely wrong. Still, great story with a very sweet beginning and excellent build up to the current tension.

Can't think of anything else to add except I'm so glad I was told about this story.

Am I the only one who felt that twilight's punishment for her dastardly plan was way too much? I mean sure Dash had all every reason to be that upset but she still doesn't strike me as the type to nearly beat a friend to death. Especially after using all of her magic to shield and then heal fluttershy, iunno dashie lost points for me in this chapter.

FIRST!

great Chapter, look forward to more!

EDIT: Apparently 100th comment! Gratz to the author!