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Mindblower

Joined August 2011
355 followers

"We are all born mad. Some remain so."  -Estragon, Waiting for Godot

Stories (7)

  • The Story of My Life
    Ditsica Doo has 24 hours to find somepony stupid enough to help her with her desperate scheme.

    26,005 words · 5,188 views · 396 likes · 5 dislikes
  • Gold Star
    Mom says that families who work really hard get to put a gold star on the inside of their windows.
    3,586 words · 2,600 views · 237 likes · 2 dislikes
  • Guilt and Hate
    Sequel to Envy and Arrogance.
    151,660 words · 2,804 views · 190 likes · 6 dislikes
  • Daring Do and the Dark Walk Home
    Though Daring is most commonly remembered for her grand adventures in ruins, her primary subsistence is derived under the cover of darkness. Sometimes, this darkness is not as friendly to her nerves as she would like.
    3,427 words · 518 views · 80 likes · 1 dislikes
  • Envy and Arrogance
    80,581 words · 12,225 views · 306 likes · 15 dislikes
  • Feathers
    5,960 words · 911 views · 86 likes · 5 dislikes
  • Dissonance
    23,584 words · 1,076 views · 108 likes · 9 dislikes

Blog Posts (111)

Source

Mom says that families who work really hard get to put a gold star on the inside of their windows.

First Published
6th Nov 2012
Last Modified
6th Nov 2012

Comments ( 65 )

#1 · 89w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

This story was a shot. A fully-charged sniper shot. To the head. Of my feels. :pinkiesad2:

Brilliant as always, good sir.

#2 · 89w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

Too late to read now, maybey tomorrow! :rainbowkiss:

*klicks read later*

EDIT:


Wow........ that punchline, that... wow very good very good!

That really hits you in the end, great job Mindblower :pinkiesad2:

#3 · 89w, 5d ago · · ·

i just looked at the description and was like "that's how you lure someone into a good read."

#4 · 89w, 5d ago · · ·

Pretty good.

Pretty good...

*shadow sinks*

#5 · 89w, 5d ago · · ·

This is a pretty good story, it's verry deep and all but may I ask who is the enemy? considering they have 2 godlike princesses... :P

#6 · 89w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

Here. My feels. Have ALL OF THEM.

:raritycry:

#7 · 89w, 5d ago · · ·

Buck.

Right from the beginning I figured what was going to / had happened, but I couldn't stop reading because I had to know how it ended.

#8 · 89w, 5d ago · · ·

Oh...God...Wow...

#9 · 89w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

Oh good god. This is the first fan fiction to ever make me cry. Whe Scootaloo threw that rock and started crying, I lost it. You could feel her pain. Well done. You have a talent.:fluttercry:

#10 · 89w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

Man, those aren't feels. That's a brick wall of feels. You just up and run right into it. At full speed.

That was spectacular, sir. Well done.

#11 · 89w, 4d ago · · ·

Has anyone ever commented on your name, Mindblower, cause now my mind is blown. You have done a very good job. Also, poor Scootaloo, no wonder she was upset. And I can see someone wishing they had never been so curious about those incendiary charges.

#12 · 89w, 4d ago · · ·

Bring our boys home

#13 · 89w, 4d ago · · ·

damn, that was so heartbreaking, but It was an great story

#14 · 89w, 3d ago · · ·

That was pretty amazing. I mean, the way you told it from a kid's point of view and how innocent they can be and how his mom tried to protect him from the truth for as long as possible... I didn't honestly catch on until he saw the golden stars on poor Scootaloo's window. And that ending was truly heartbreaking.

Bravo. :pinkiesad2:

#16 · 88w, 6d ago · · ·

That was... astonishing. While I didn't cry, I felt that, and the impact was even stronger when I was able to figure out what the gold stars meant before the end.

#17 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

Author, VERY well done. My compliments.

#18 · 88w, 17h ago · · ·

OH GOD THE SAD.

#19 · 88w, 16h ago · · ·

War. War never changes.

#20 · 88w, 16h ago · · ·

I'm staring blankly at the last paragraph...

I can't do much more at the moment...

#22 · 88w, 16h ago · · ·

To me, this is all pre-canon. All before the show. I know it doesn't make much sense, buuut...

Anyway, yes. Applause. All the applause. You have the envy of everyone for that last paragraph. It's just so godamn neat.

#23 · 88w, 16h ago · · ·

A salute for the fallen.

#24 · 88w, 15h ago · · ·

Feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeels. I honestly didn't get where it was going until the end.

#25 · 88w, 15h ago · · 3 ·

I feel like I stepped into the middle of a really good story or movie.

Description is key. As amazing and "feel-provoking" as this is, it doesn't really do much for the reader if there's no story to it. You leave so many unanswered questions here I have no feels.

Making the main character stupid was just annoying. I can understand them thinking that the gold stars were good, but the way you phrase it simply sounds stupid.

When he sees Scootaloo, it becomes so confusing I could barely read it.

Cynewulf
Story Approver
#26 · 88w, 14h ago · · ·

That. That was a good end. A very, very good end.

I'm not sure I agree at all with the sentiment above me-- you have enough description here was fine, and the main charcter's lack of understanding is part of what contributes to the ending's effectiveness. Good job.

#27 · 88w, 13h ago · · ·

>>1639550

Yes this, absolutely this. What makes the story effective is that it is told through the point of view of a child, and thus everything is a skewed version of reality. That's why it works so well.

#28 · 88w, 12h ago · · ·

Nicely done, I love these kind of stories.

#29 · 88w, 12h ago · · ·

;__;

#30 · 88w, 9h ago · · ·

Damn.... This diserves a feature

#31 · 88w, 8h ago · · ·

I was 99% sure of the meaning of the title, and when I saw the reference to blue stars, that removed the 1%. Good story, particularly the other references about wartime showing up in everyday life (like math problems in school).

#32 · 88w, 7h ago · · ·

The cause of death was         incendiary charges.

>incendiary charges

It seems like they would go into a more detailed explanation than just saying incendiary charges. You know, saying how the charges killed him and stuff.

Good fic, otherwise. A background story would be great for it.

#33 · 88w, 7h ago · · ·

Salute to the fallen.

This was very well done. All of the subtle hints you slipped in alluding to WWII/Cold War-era homefront life were well played. And the irony of the letter at the end...damn, man.

Right in the feels.

#34 · 88w, 7h ago · · 1 ·

uh...I'm sorry but I don't get it. The stars. What do they mean, really?

Sorry if I sound stupid.

B-7
#35 · 88w, 6h ago · · ·

Hands Held High by Linkin Park started to play in my mind at the end of reading.

That's the really serious writing, and it doesn't contradict with show ideas. But a wartime is the time while everithing reaches extreme levels.

#36 · 88w, 5h ago · · ·

>>1642364 Signifiers for households that have lost a family member at the Front. Scoots, of course, has lost *both* parents...  :fluttercry:

#37 · 87w, 6d ago · · ·

After reading this a second time...

Well, shit.

#38 · 87w, 6d ago · · ·

.... Wow. Just wow. That was such excellence, I can't think of anything to say.

#39 · 87w, 6d ago · · ·

My feels...they are like waterfalls!

Dang good story. I applaud!

#40 · 87w, 5d ago · · ·

The... shiver was strong after that ending...

#41 · 87w, 5d ago · · ·

Eh, it was okay. Feels like I've read it before. Oh wait...

#42 · 87w, 5d ago · · ·

This reminds me of these songs:

#43 · 87w, 4d ago · · ·

When I first read this, I didn't know what an incendiary charge was. Neither did my family. I looked it up. For those of you who don't know... it's basically a bomb, which, after blowing up, ignites a large fire(I'm pretty sure. Ask.com hasn't failed me yet, so...). Which means, either his father was blown up, burned to death, or both.

I... my stomach... it physically hurts. I've read things which have depressed me... but I don't think they've ever gotten a physical reaction out of me before. I think I'm going to go watch some happy ponies. Cheer me up a bit.

J-just know... this is absolutely beautiful. I adore this, no matter how sad it made me. I love you.

#44 · 87w, 2d ago · · ·

Oh christ.

Fuck you, ponies and trench warfare man, it doesn't even bare thinking about.

Great fic. I loved it.

#45 · 86w, 4d ago · · ·

I sometimes think I'm a heartless bastard, but you somehow manage to show my emotions with writings like this.

Thanks you.

Seriously, this was just amazing.

#46 · 86w, 3d ago · 2 · ·

Note: All above comments were made before the following letter was omitted from the very end of the story.

It is our painful duty to inform you that a report has this day been received by the Office of the War Minister notifying the death of (no.)         16929         (rank)        Lieutenant         (name)        Chocolate Mint, (regiment)                 Second Legion,         which occurred at         Stalliongrad on         Monday, November Fifth,         and we are to express to you the sympathy and regret of the Royal Ministry at your loss. The cause of death was         incendiary charges.

First Royal Sister and Princess of the Day,

                        Celestia

#47 · 86w, 3d ago · · ·

See, when I saw the story title and description, the first thing I thought of was "Jews in the holocaust ponified".

Because of my skewed expectations, my reaction to the story was a mixture of relief and "oh, that's it?"

Not that pony holocaust is a good idea, though, it's a horrible idea and I only read this story because I was curious.

#48 · 85w, 5d ago · 2 · ·

The whole using-Equestria-to-mirror-the-horrors-of-the-worst-parts-of-real-life thing isn't really my box of rocks, as I generally use ponystuff (and often, fiction and entertainment media in general) as an escape from the things which make me miserable to think about, but to be fair, this was well-written for what it was trying to be. It was pretty clear from the get-go what the gold star means (there were more than enough hints for even someone who doesn't usually think about this kind of stuff to figure it out), so I think it's pretty classy that you never felt the urge to come out and just say it up front. Well, I guess you did at first, but then you realized how much better the story would be if you omitted that last bit (hint: you were correct to do this).

It did take me a minute to figure out what Scootaloo's deal was, that she had pretty much snapped after losing both her parents. With that new knowledge, though, I can appreciate her scenes a lot more in hindsight. I'm not really going to address my confusion over what must be going on with her living situation; rather, I'll just pretend she's being looked after by some other relative. Must be one hell of a miserable military state if both parents are allowed to go off and die like that, but all the propaganda and lies and general sullenness leads me to believe that's what you were going for anyway, so bravo I guess.

Edit: Thinking about it some more, I'd like to add that it's one of your more well-written stories, and I did give it a thumbs up. You've definitely improved as a writer over the last year, and it shows. This specific story wasn't really for me, but I do acknowledge its quality.

#49 · 85w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1573748

The ancient egyptian pharohs were considered gods, your point being?:facehoof:

#50 · 85w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1741404 yeah but the pharohs didn't have awesome alicorn powers xD

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