I entered a contest on MLPForums.com and this is the result. ;)
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Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash had always had a close friendship as best friends. They grew up together, went to school together, flew together. It seemed that nothing could break them apart...
Recently Fluttershy had been having... Visions. Hallucinations. ...Dreams... About being,,, More than just friends.
How will Rainbow Dash react? How will this affect their friendship? Could it... Possibly lead to something more?
Chapters (1)
I was hooked from the start. Simply fantastic, the story is paced so well in the second part of the story. Her interaction with the animal is also fitting and I enjoyed the small bit with Angel (that little bastard
) I've always liked Flutterdash and this story is fantastic (again =3) but it is a bit short, I would love to see this expanded (maybe going into details of their childhood experience together? The other ponies bullying and plucking the feathers out of Fluttershy saying that she should be an Earth pony instead and Dash stepping in and saving the day. That would be awesome, I might get around to writing that. Hmmm.
Anyway, if you do write another Flutterdash could you message me? I would love to be the first to read it.
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1644225 I'm so glad you liked it!
It was a little short but that's simply because the contest had a max word limit of 2500 so I was a little over just with this.
If I decide to write another FlutterDash I'll be sure to notify you!
I couldn't get through this, and it has nothing to do with the story itself. Your verb tenses are very inconsistent, and that really takes me out of the story. When you write, pick past or present tense before you write your first sentence, and stick with it the whole way through. Helps create a better, more cohesive piece. Happy writing.
1647266 I know however I have a really hard time paying attention to the tenses I write... I probably should have looked that over while editing it. Thanks for the feedback though.
1647321 No problem. I always try to give some constructive feedback, whether I like a story or not.