• Published 6th Nov 2012
  • 15,413 Views, 3,324 Comments

The Abundance - defender2222



Sequel to Faith and Doubt. Twilight must save Equestria from her friends who've become alicorns

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PreviousChapters
All Good Things...

"I prefer goodnight. It offers hope for a new day."

-Faith


Three Years Later...

Faith had spoken of ponies ability to develop powerful relationships. Generosity's final words had been of how they lived their lives to the fullest. While she agreed with both these assessments, Princess Celestia felt that there was another trait that separated her little ponies from the other races: their ability to overcome.

The land had been scarred and many ponies hurt, both mentally and physically, as a result of the war. For as much as they had regained they had also lost too. Cloudsdale had been destroyed. Manehattan laid in ruins. Canterlot had been deserted. The Everfree had seen an eighth of its mass removed from it, leaving a grassy field in the middle of the enchanted forest.Those that had been under the control of the Queens struggled just as much as those that had been part of the rebellion.

And still... they overcame.

Celestia smiled as she thought back on how her little ponies had come together. Even the name of the war had been debated. Those on the side of the rebellion had been split; some wanted to call it The War of Doubt, highlighting that it was the mad abstract that had caused the damage. Others suggested Faith's War, honoring the one abstract who had not fallen during the conflict. Those that had been brainwashed muttered about the War of the Five Queens and Elements' Fall.

In the end, it had been Dinky Hooves who had come up with the name: The 5 Months War. Simple, to the point, with no blame assigned. All sides had agreed, though the Princesses had heard Shining jokingly call the conflict 'The War of a Thousand Monologues'.

"Princess, are you sure you don't want to wait over there in the shade?"

"No, Scootaloo," the princess said, smiling at the pegasus filly. "I am quite fine." She took a moment to look at the orange pegasus, decked out in blue vest and cap. Scootaloo, having experienced all sides of the war, had quickly become a pony of some importance during the rebuilding. She had helped dissuade rumors and mend fences between the many different groups.

The Princess of the Sun looked upon New Cloudsdale and smiled. One of the very first projects started and the last to be completed, the cloud city had taken the tragedy of Cloudsdale and turned it into a shining victory. Ponies of all kinds had worked hard to create a new home for the pegasi that also allowed the earth ponies and the unicorns to interact more easily with their feathered brethren. Using Griffish designs, New Cloudsdale as now located on the very mountain where Twilight and her friends had dealt with a snoozing dragon. The Weather Factory still remained purely a pegasi location, but other attractions, like Wonderbolt Stadium, were now placed on the mountain, allowing other ponies to see the famous flyers.

Repairing the city had been the easy part... it was the repairing of her subjects that was difficult. Buildings could be remade and possessions returned easily enough...it was the mental scars that took time to heal and led to bitterness and pain.

The Princess sighed, thinking of how much still laid before them. Twilight's friends were still looked down upon by some of the country. There were whispers that they should have fought harder against the abstracts and thus prevented the war. It didn't matter how much it was explained to them that Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Rarity had been victims as much as other ponies; they still wore the faces of their oppressors. Even Pinkie had caught some flack, even though she had never been a Queen.

Princess Celestia smiled slightly, remembering the pink mare's shock when she had finally ascended and become the abstract... of generosity. It seemed that the magics woven into the world saw the giggly pink pony who so longed to give parties and make others smile as being the most selfless pony in Equestria.

'The abstracts must have never seen her at a buffet table,' Celestia thought.

More shocking had been Discord's return.

"What is that dreadful music I hear?" Princess Luna said, looking around in surprise.

"Hola, Princesses!" Discord had proclaimed, popping into the throneroom with a sombrero on his head and accompanied by a full mariachi band. “I’M BACK!”

"Discord!" Princess Celestia had shouted.

"Yes, it is I! You didn't think that crazy abstract Doubt could really defeat me, did you? I am made of sterner stuff than that!" He'd flexed his arm, only to frown when it deflated like a balloon. "Ok... so she did steal my powers and left me little more than a puddle on the ground, crying out for mommy... but I have found a new role! I am no longer the spirit of chaos!" He snapped his fingers and cigars appeared in their mouths.

"Swell," Cadence had grumbled.

"What powers are those, Discord?" Celestia had said cautiously.

Discord threw his arms out, his wings turning into a crude replica of Faith's while his coat became a mix-mash of metals. "What else? I have finally achieved my dream... I am an abstract... the Abstract of Laughter!" When they all looked at him he shrugged. "What, you thought Pinkie Pie was going to get the job?" He snapped his fingers and Cadence looked at the two strapping ponies dressed in speedoes that were now rubbing against her. “Isn’t it wonderful?”

"I don't need your stallions," Cadence said sternly.

Discord frowned. "You know, I think I prefer you when you are a crazy nympho." Another snap sent them to Luna, who gave the stallions a once over.

"Discord!" Celestia shouted. "Enough of this!"

Discord sighed. "Very well." He wiggled his nose and all his creations disappeared. "I just thought I would tell you that I am going to be bouncing around, inspiring giggles and gaffs. And while it is true that I am now only semi-phenomenal and nearly cosmic, that doesn't make me a softy." He pinched the solar princess' cheek. "See ya around, Tia baby." Discord crossed his arms over his chest, and with a nod disappeared.

After that, weekly spottings of Discord had become quite common. Luckily, his pranks were little more than semi-harmless fun and several ponies had began looking forward to his jokes.

Twilight and her friends, through some good grace, had not been targets of the former spirit of chaos. Celestia had been utterly thankful for this, as all of them were dealing with enough problems on their own. The former queens weren't the only ones suffering from scorn, after all. Just as Faith had predicted, some ponies had looked upon Twilight and the rest of the rebellion in hatred, feeling that they had robbed them of peace and happiness. Luna had reported finding several cults that worshiped the Queens and Celestia knew it would take decades, if not centuries, to undo the misconceptions from those ponies minds.

While Faith had suffered little scorn, save from those that longed for the return of the queens, his brother and sister were not so lucky. In the end, after several failed attempts at helping (the last of which resulted in Faith delivering a long, rambling rant that ended with Trixie mooning those in attendance) the two elder abstracts had decided that it was wiser to just stay out of the way. Honesty had retreated to Sweet Apple Acres, while Kindness had sought sanctuary with Fluttershy, finding some peace with the animals.

Sadly, Celestia knew it would take quite a bit of time before her subjects trusted the abstracts again.

Luckily, New Cloudsdale was helping to ease all through the tensions that had arisen and offered a glimmer of hope that the day when all the wounds were healed would come much quicker. Twilight and her friends had each taken part in the crafting of New Cloudsdale, helping to shape it and making it something truly special. Ponies from Canterlot and Manehattan that had turned their noses up at the girls now whispered in the princess' ear that she HAD to get the Element of Harmony to help in the rebuilding of their cities.

Celestia was pulled from her thoughts as a shrill whistle filled the air. Standing up, she noticed for the first time that she had been joined by others: the Apple Family stood off to the side, whispering to themselves and laughing as Honesty did his best to hid his horn with the cowboy hat Applejack had gotten him. Rarity, Fluttershy, Sweetie Belle and Kindness were huddled together on a bench, while Rainbow had come to join Scootaloo. Shining Armor had finally run up with Cadence, the two pleading that they had slept in and ignoring the chuckles coming from Luna. It was clear from the way the two were sweating that sleep hadn't been what kept them.

"Don't worry," Celestia said softly as The Abundance soared towards them. "You are just in time."

It took several minutes to get all of them on board. The deck was full of ponies, hurrying about to prepare the airship to take off. Almost all the former prisoners who had joined Faith and Trixie in their escape had remained on The Abundance after the war. Though none of them had ever used the word again, their actions proved that they still saw Faith as, if not their king, their leader. He had been the one to free them... and besides, the Abundance had earned quite a rep and many of them had seen their star rise by being tied to the airship that had helped save Equestria.

"Princess Celestia!" Twilight called out, hurrying over to the white alicorn and giving her a hug. In the years since the war Celestia had regained her height and power much faster than Twilight, leaving the little purple alicorn looking up once more at her mentor. Truthfully, Twilight would have it no other way.

"Hello, my faithful student. How are you?"

Twilight grinned. "Very well, thank you." With practiced ease Twilight walked along the deck as the airship took off, not at all thrown by the sudden swaying.

The alicorn of the stars had decided early on in the days after the war that the Abundance would serve as a perfect base of operation for her efforts to help rebuild Equestria. Twilight had thrown herself into the grand task, partly because of her love for her country and partly because she wanted to help her friends. The crew had welcomed her and she had fit in just fine.

Celestia glanced over at Spike, who was in his larger form, laughing as he helped Iron Will adjust a sail. The minotaur and the dragon had bonded after the fall of Doubt after Spike had learned that Will had been an orphan and adopted by a pair of loving, if overly assertive, earth ponies.

"Princess Celestia," Trixie said, her horn glowing as she removed her captain's hat. Celestia looked the current abstract of doubt over. Of all the ponies to get dragged into the war, she had come out the best. The theft of Doubt’s powers had left her immortal and with the ‘great and powerful’ magic she had longed for. Luckily for all, Trixie was quite different from Doubt and her use of power helped get ponies to doubt their preconceived notions and their bigotry. Her time in prison had tempered her and allowed her to have those powers without abusing them. The Abundance was her ship and gave her a feeling of control. And after only 6 months of continued backsliding followed by hard work, Trixie and Twilight had FINALLY managed to bury the hatchet. They still snipped at each other, but each, in the end, believed they had won. Twilight was the alicorn of the stars and partner with Faith. Trixie was the abstract of doubt and as for Faith…

“Where is Faith?” Rainbow Dash called out. “Figured he of all ponies would like to make a speech.”

“Where else? He’s dealing with the current Big Bad,” Trixie said with a smirk, pointing to their cabin just as a small blue foal scrambling out of the cabin, Faith chasing after him. The baby looked behind him and began darting between legs, giggling up a storm.

“Get back here Clockwork!” Faith shouted, his coat covered in bubbles as the naked little colt squealed and ran about the deck. The metallic blue foal’s black-and-white mane was full of bubbles and his mouth was open in a wide smile as he darted under Princess Luna’s legs and made for Twilight. “Don’t even think about going to her for help!” Faith said sternly.

Clockwork blinked before looking at Trixie.

“Not mama either,” Faith said sternly, using his magic to lift up his son and march him back towards the cabin. “Messy foals need to finish their baths before they can meet our friends!” Clockwork looked at the others and, when he thought his daddy wasn’t looking, made a silly face.

Honesty cocked an eyebrow as Faith marched away. “You know… I remember him doing that a few times… so wonderful to see him seeing how annoying it is.” That earned a snort from Kindness.

Celestia smiled as she watched the group join in laughter. Later that night there would a moment of silence for those lost and quiet reflection on the events now three years gone. But for now, they were able to joke and smile and enjoy the swaying of the Abundance.

There was still work ahead of them and many fences to mend, but as Celestia looked out at all the ponies gathered before her, she felt something stir within her. Not faith… not doubt.

Hope.

End of Volume 2

The Abundance
Cast
Twilight Sparkle: Tara Strong
Applejack and Rainbow Dash, : Ashleigh Ball
Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy: Andrea Libman
Rarity and Princess Luna: Tabitha St. Germain
Spike: Cathy Weseluck
Princess Celestia: Nicole Oliver
Shining Armor: Andrew Francis
Princess Cadence: Britt McKillip
Trixie: Kathleen Barr
Faith: Tom Hardy
Doubt: Cate Blanchet
Laughter: Arleen Sorkin
Loyalty: Nathan Fillion
Honesty: John Rhys Davis
Generosity: Keri Russell
Kindness: Kristen Bell
Scootaloo: Madeleine Peters
Applebloom: Michelle Creber
Sweetie Belle: Clare Corlett






“Why are we here, sister?” Luna asked, following after Celestia. The white alicorn ducked under a low branch, her horn glowing to light the way as she walked down the faint path. It was one she knew all too well, though it had been many, many years since she had taken it. The destination, though, was one she knew all too well.

The Gate.

“It has remained silent,” Luna stated calmly, noticing how Celestia eyed the spot where the Gate stood, invisible to even their eyes. “There has been no sign… no reaction… nothing.”

“I know,” Celestia said gently. “I just-“

“AARRRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!”

Celestia and Luna leapt away as the air shimmered and, seemingly from no where, a beast burst out, looking around with wild eyes. He was a horrific mix of stone and water given life; the black rock that formed his bones was not hidden by the water that served as his skin, allowing the sisters to see the clicking of his jaw and the flexing of his spine as he looked about, his movements erratic. His eyes held the fury of a hurricane and he looked about as if expecting an attack.

Then he looked upon them.

“Celestia?” the beast whispered in confusion. “Luna?”

The waters stilled and the stone disappeared as gray fur and green scales rapidly reformed, covering the beast’s odd form and leaving him looking decidedly more natural. The Princesses stared as he looked at them with wide eyes before collapsing in a heap.

They knew this beast well… after all, they had been at his side when he had died over a thousand years ago.

“FATHER!” Luna screamed, racing to the capricorn’s side. Celestia tried to stop her, knowing it must be some trick, but Luna would not be held back, the sight of the old goat that had raised her and her sister as his own causing her heart to flutter and tears to blur her vision. “Father….” She whimpered, laying down beside him and stroking the green tuffs of hair on his head.

“He’s… he’s coming…” he whispered. His eyes were wild and filled with fear as he rambled on. Never had the Princesses seen him so scared. Fear was a foreign concept to him. “The Gate has changed… he knows… tried to hold him back… he has broken through paradise and now… the fires of hell are his to command and he will burn us all!” He saw Celestia and grabbed her foreleg, pleading. “He’s coming!

“Who?” Celestia asked. “Who is-“

You think this country is yours,” a voice said all around them. “You believe it your birthright… that it is something you deserve, for it was passed down to you by your fathers, and their fathers, and their father’s fathers. You tell your little tales of Hearth’s Warming and none dispute your claim. You are the masters of this land and always have been.

This… is a lie. A fairytale told by usurpers and thieves to justify their crimes. They have swept the truth away and rewritten history to make your kind the heroes. Enjoy these last few days of harmony… for we have returned… to take back what is MINE.


And Introducing

Lord Tydal: Keith David
Speaker Beyond the Gate: Benedict Cumberbatch

“Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it”

Volume 3
The Should-Have-Been-King

PreviousChapters
Comments ( 176 )

And thus ends The Abundance.

After so much darkness and so much misery, I wanted to end on a happy note. I wanted some humor and some good wishes and some visions of happier times. I wanted to show that after a war, while you might not be able to go back to the life you once had, you can find something just as good, if no better.

I am sure there will be people that hate this ending, just as they have questioned over aspects. But, as I have reminded you all, I wrote this story for me. This is the ending I wanted... my moment to take a breath and reflect on what happened and now what is to come.

But I know you guys don't care about that because you are all screaming about Volume 3.

First off, I have no idea when it will come out. i want to take a nice break from this world and work on other things. So don't expect it coming soon. But The-Should-Have-Been-King will come out at some point.

Second, if Faith and Doubt was my quiet story and The Abundance was Les Miserable meets epic war drama... Volume 3 is The Wrath of Khan. It will explore pieces of Equestria's past and reveal the lies that have been covered up... namely just what creatures called it home before the 3 pony tribes took control of it.

So... shall we begin?

namely just what creatures called it home before the 3 pony tribes took control of it.

hmm, and here I was thinking the Windigos. oh well, when ever you get around to it I'll be one of those reading it:pinkiehappy: waiting to see how you work it:twilightsmile:

2609952

The windigos will be featured, but are NOT the race of the Should-Have-Been-King

oh fuck yes another sequel!

Ah yeah! You got the Voice of Megatron for Lord Tydal and the Voice of Smaug to voice the enemy!

You could've ended it right here and it would've been fine really. You didn't need to go add another sequel.

Also is this Lord Tydal the same as the one in your other story, or do they only share the same name?

Oh boy...

All in all, this was a very satisfying way to end The Abundance Saga. Practically everything that had to wrapped up is successfully tied down, and there are no real dangling threads. (at least not that I can point out yet). The whole thing with Faith and Trixie was a bit out of left field from the very beginning; I had honestly expected a Twilight/Faith ship. But hey, it still works.

That aside, I'm looking forward to the next volume. Though, if I'm honest...(and don't take this badly) that last bit introducing the coming of The-Should-Have-Been-King kind of reminded me of a character from a certain game. Whether or not you derived inspiration from this character may be true or not, its still interesting, and I can't wait to see what you'll produce next.

Also, Lord Tydal. I've been wondering when we'd see him again.

Very nice ending for this story. Pinkie becoming the new Generosity and Discord becoming Laughter were unexpected, but in a good way, as it fits them both. :pinkiehappy: You know, unless there's cake around and a certain SOMEPONY decides you've been too slow eating it. :pinkiesad2: (Maybe she thinks giving you a five-second head start is generous enough.)

Looking forward to the next story! And as much grief as I've given you about Tydal (sorry again about that) I am looking forward to seeing how he is in a more serious story, to provide more of a context for the over-the-topness of the God Squad version.

Also, if you're talking about the same actor I'm thinking of, it's Benedict CumberBATCH. On a related note, I'm guessing you've seen the new Star Trek? :twilightsmile:

Fuck yeah. Hate that the story ended but damn did it end well! Loved it man.

Hmmm, final chapter and...OH MY GOD TYDAL!!!!!!!!!!


*bows* sir!

It's not the Humans first ruled the land.

I do not know what this Cumberland is. But it sounds like a batch of good fun.

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!! Discord got Laughter like I knew he should have

Any in-story justification for Discord Abstract of Laughter? I´m not complaining, but he was guy whose concept of a joke often implied the misery of others.

2610017

Not humans.

2609991

never seen that or heard of that before.

2610034

As we saw with Doubt, being the Spirit of Chaos does bad stuff to your head. Now that Discord is the Abstract of Laughter... well... things are going to be different.

All your characters are now together in one series!

Well, glad to see Faith as a Daddy (though I admit I was a bit upset to see he went with Trixie despite all that Twilight's done for him). However, it is your story so I am just going to sit back and enjoy the ride.

Definitely looking forward to Volume 3... though I must ask; which role(s) of David Kaye do you hear in your mind that most accurately fits Lord Tydal? And do you mean actor Benedict Cumberbatch (as I cannot Google, Bing, or Yahoo an actor named Benedict Cumberland)?

Edit: Actually, after refreshing the page, I see that you edited it to Cumberbatch, so nevermind lol.

2610038

Again, I suspected it to be the case. But for whatever reason, I think the music is a bit fitting.

Wait a second I thought you said Lord Tydal was voiced in your head by Petter Cullen (G1, Movie, and Prime Optimus Prime) not David Kaye (Beast Wars, Beast Machines, and Unciron Triology Megatron as well as Animated Optimus Prime)? :applejackconfused:

A very, very agreeable ending. I was quite pleased, and I'm eager to see what you give us next.

In the meantime, enjoy your break.

Lord Tydal: David Kaye? Now I must read him in Clank's voice

2610056
Well it could be that Faith has Trixie AND Twilight (herd)

2610056

His portrayal of Sesshomaru from Inuyasha

My ass... it's falling off from the laugh, and I don't know why! x.x

But seriously man, this has been a great ride. Can't wait for the next step upwards! :twilightsmile:

Spacecowboy
Moderator

2609959
Is it sad that my biggest question is whether or not Twilight is also paired with Faith?
Cause, well, I was expecting the three of em to get together. Funny how such a small detail leaves such an abysmal pool of disappointment. Especially considering everything Twilight and Faith had bee through in BOTH stories. Meh.

2610062

I usually imagined him with Gerald Butler's voice.

2610152

Notice that it said that Twilight is Faith's partner... and Clockwork did run to her as well as his mama...

Let's just say that Twilight, Faith and Trixie have a strange relationship

2610160

That was my original choice for Tydal, but as I have evolved the character it has changed. The capricorns are still the spartans of Equestria, but Tydal isn't so much a screaming madman nowadays... he is a snarky, battle-hard warrior

Spacecowboy
Moderator

2610165
Hmm, vague words and just waking up, apparently they do not blend well.

Anywho, it was a great story. Shame on me, not mentioning that. And leaving it open for a third one, when you decide to start it, should prove to be pretty good. I have no knowledge of the Tydal character, if it is another generation's villain, but it should be entertaining regardless.

Thanks for the story Defender.

Well...Pinkie as Generosity and Discord as Laughter was highly unexpected, but still fitting.

So ends another wonderful tale, and so begins a new one.

A new arc had begun!:pinkiehappy:
A vague threat lies over Equestria, as the former Queens are still not trusted.
...hopefully, this will not bode ill for them.:fluttershysad:

Excellent work, dear Author.:twilightsmile:

Another story on the way? Fuck ya!! Also clockwork is Trixie's and faiths child?
And please don't tell me the creators coming from the gate are humans?

2610136 Ah, cool cool. Been a while since I've seen Inuyasha, but I do remember that voice.

2610160 2610171 And Gerard Butler originally, eh? I admit, I never thought of him as Tydal's voice when he first appeared WAY back when in your other story How Do You Shoot a Gun With Hooves? (which I admit I am still waiting to come off haitus, but at least I have your Oz parody and God Squad 2 to keep me entertained till then). I used to have in mind Lord Tydal's voice being portrayed by Keith David (best known in voice work as Goliath from Gargoyles and Spawn/Al Simmons from the HBO animated Spawn series). Though after reading him in "Origins of Scootaloo" and "God Squad", his voice evolved into that of Kevin Michael Richardson (did the voice of Panthro in the *now sadly cancelled* 2011 reboot of Thundercats though he has done plenty of other works too).

Anyways, once again good job with The Abundance and I will keep my eyes peeled for updates/new stories from ya.

2610174

Tydal is an original character from my comedy fics. The Lord of the Capricorns (who are the Spartans of Equestria), he is the God of Sea and the God of War. He was tasked to raised Celestia and Luna (hence Luna calling him Father here) and in the comedy fics was turned to stone helping to defeat Discord.

In the Abstract Universe, he had a different fate but has now returned from the other side.

2610249

I could see that too, though it is just a touch too deep. But I can definitely see it.

2610258 thanks also clockwork trixie's and faiths kid?

2610276

Yes. Clockwork is the biological son of Faith and Trixie... though, as we saw, he did run towards Twilight...

2610295 so faith has both of them as wives? like a herd?

To say it with words from Xavior Naidoo: 'Dieser Weg, wird kein leichter sein. Dieser Weg, wird steinig und schwer.' (Transl: This way won't be an easy one. This way will be filled with stones and hardships.)

This ending... I have no other words than to say I love it. And I like that you gave Faith one of his hearts desires: to be the father of a foal. And I also liked that you choose Trixie instead of Twilight, first because that would be done to death (srsly, Twilight x OC have a foal at the end... gimme a break) and second because Trixie deserves a gift like that the way you portrayed her.

And now:
START VOLUME 3 ALREADY!

:flutterrage::pinkiecrazy::rainbowlaugh::raritywink::twilightsmile::yay::moustache::moustache::heart:

Is the army of Meanwhiles and Neverweres going to appear too?

REVIEW TIME

My opinion on the story?

Decent.

The good: :raritystarry:
You're a talented author at getting us to see exactly what you're seeing. The descriptions work really well, and you've created a very vibrant and colorful world. I enjoyed the action scenes, and a lot of the one-liners thrown in made me jump up and scream "YES!" (Much to the alarm of my roommate). The voice actor thing was a great idea, as I had a lot of fun mimicking the accents of each character when reading it aloud. Another thing that I love about this story is the scale. It's freaking huge, and you waste no time exploiting every moment of grandeur. I also thank you for the lack of filler that plagues stories like this. You put Shyamalan to shame with your twist endings, that takes some serious skill.

"Why is it that something dramatic seems to happen exactly every five minutes?"
Church, Red vs Blue

Seriously, how do you do that? REVEAL YOUR SECRETS OH ENLIGHTENED ONE.

The neutral: :trixieshiftleft:
Not gonna lie, the premise made me shake my head. This is an easy premise to screw up, and you mostly didn't, which you should give yourself a pat on the back for. I'm not sure if I should applaud you for sticking to your guns about how you wanted your story to end up, because it's your freaking story, or simply refusing to listen to criticism. Your OC's are hit or miss. Faith starts off weak, then he grows into a likable character towards the middle, then back towards the end he becomes boring. It also doesn't help that I didn't really find a character that I liked in this. When you wanted us to hate a character, you did a good job, but I don't think there was one character I actually looked forward seeing interact with the others (other than Laughter, but you quickly dashed my hopes for that one. I was hoping you wouldn't go with the cliched Alice and Wonderland imagery.) This fic is also 80% exposition dialogue. It's interesting exposition, but it also feels like you make the rules up as you go. Half the twists made me go :pinkiegasp: but others made me go :rainbowhuh:.

The bad: :facehoof:
When you blow the dialogue, you really blow the dialogue. This wouldn't be too much of an issue if it didn't happen so frequently. A lot of times it got to Twilight levels of sappy and awkward. And I"m sorry for saying, but sometimes this story gets pretentious. The characters say things that sound like "big revelations" when a lot of it is common knowledge, so it comes off as patronizing. Your author's notes do this too; why do you feel the need to explain to your audience what we just read? It feels like you're talking down to us rather than telling us a story. The biggest thing that I feel really holds this story back was that it was a sequel to Faith and Doubt, meaning Twilight's OoC carries over, and since she's a main character... you get it. Also, I have the same problem with this story as I do most popular shonen anime: too many dang characters to keep track of, and character arcs that go nowhere. Lots of moments where I had to call bulls**t on the plot. Was that love triangle really necessary?

Final thoughts: :duck:
I don't regret reading this. Was a fun ride, through the ups and downs, and was worth sitting through for those special moments. It's an improvement, a big improvement, but then again it's not hard to improve on something that, in my opinion, wasn't very good in the first place, but we've already discussed that.

Sequel? K, if you say so. Probably gonna pass that one up, but hey, if the first few chapters are good, and if you promise more great one-liners and action scenes, I'll give it a shot.

O lala!
So much awesomeness!:rainbowkiss:

Fuck Yeah.
:pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:
Hoo-fucking-rah
:pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:
MOAR!!!
:pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

These two were a great ride and wrapped up nicely with each other. I'll give #3 a shot, but it's going to be difficult to see anything beyond 2 as further closure. It felt fine to end it as it is.

FUCK YEAH NEW SERIES. I was so sad thinking it was over

I had a bunch of things I wanted to say. But really, there's nothing I can say that could properly articulate what I want to convey, so I'll just say this:

SQUEEEEE!:rainbowkiss:

2610429

The Abundance is definately the end of the story began in Faith and Doubt.

TSHBK is a new tale in the same world. I haven't even begun major plotting... I don't even know how much of a role, if any, Faith will play! All I know is it will involve the Should-Have-Been-King, a character I've come up with that will be very interesting.

If I had to set it in stone, i'd say Volume 3 will focus mostly on Celestia and Luna with the others taking on smaller roles.

Think Wrath of Khan meets The Godfather Part 2

2610518
Okay. Good to know.

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