"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure."
Jeremiah 17:9
Spike grunted as a pegasus soldier slammed into his side, the stallion kicking and thrashing against the purple scales. It didn't so much hurt as it annoyed the baby dragon; he had desired scales as hard as diamonds while being lighter than a feather. There was simply nothing the pegasi currently ramming him could do to injure him. Their blows, however, were beginning to wear on his nerves. It was like someone constantly poking someone in the shoulder, over and over, without rest.
Of course, Spike was willing to admit that he wasn't in the greatest of moods to begin with. Taking on a larger form was always fun but it was a mental strain. He had to remain focus and ignore the naughty little voice in his head that was screaming for him to just pillage and consume and gather a great horde. It was emotionally draining and Spike felt as if he had been up for 48 hours straight cramming for finals.
Adding to this annoyance was the fact that Spike truly couldn't cut loose. He could feel the fires welling up in his belly, begging for release, but he didn't dare unleash them. He knew that the ponies that were attacking him were not in control of their actions; they had been blinded by Loyalty and forced to do his bidding. They were much like him during his greed-induced rampage and he could not have lived with himself if he hurt any of them.
That knowledge didn't help shrink the annoyance of having the ponies he was trying to help keep attacking him.
"Stop that," Spike complained, snatching up one of the pegasi that had been attempting to buck him in the snout. The mare struggled against him and Spike narrowed his eyes, giving the struggling pegasus a 'seriously?' look. He applied just enough pressure to knock her out before tossing her into the enchanted bag Twilight had created for him. It would hold the prisoners nice and tight until Twilight could free them from whatever Loyalty had done to them.
"You ok, Spike?" Spitfire asked as she zoomed around him. She was acting as a second pair of eyes, ensuring that the dragon did not miss anything.
"Peachy," Spike grumbled, dipping down so low that his belly touched the peaks of several cloud towers. Another wave was coming at them and he was mentally prepping himself for the next run. "I am getting really tired of brainwashing villains... Discord, the Changeling Queen..."
"Faith," Spitfire said with a smirk. Shining had shared with the rebellion plenty of stories about the mirror-winged alicorn and his role in Twilight's fall/ascension.
"...ha ha ha," Spike said, fighting the urge to stick up for his friend. Faith, unlike so many ponies, had treated Spike like an adult instead of a child. Yes, Spike was a baby dragon; but mentally he was only a few years younger than Twilight. And yet every pony treated him like he was a 5 year old that was to be coddled and humored.
Except Faith.
It was that reason that Spike was so enraged. The other elements had trained Faith like he was a baby too; they had thought to keep him away from battle and tuck him away. When his involvement had led to the defeat of Discord, the other elements had refused to lift a hoof to help him and merely watched as Faith fell from grace and become the dark abstract Doubt. Now, they were treating Equestria as if all the ponies were naughty foals... it was sickening.
"Yuh, Spike?" Spitfire called out. "Kinda getting rumbly on me."
Spike blinked, pulling himself from his thoughts. "Sorry about that, I was-"
His world exploded pain.
Spitfire let out a cry as Spike tumbled down, his body spasming from the ravages of the great bolt of lightning that had struck him. He came crashing through Cloudsdale, taking out a good chunk of one block as he fell through the clouds and continued on towards the ground below. The former Wonderbolt dove down, preparing to check on him, only for find her way blocked by a wall of dark blue.
"Hello Spitfire."
"Soarin'," Spitfire whispered, staring at him as the rest of the brainwashed Wonderbolts lined up behind him, creating a phalanx of wings. "Don't do this."
"You ran away, Spitfire," Soarin' stated coolly. "You abandoned you team... you have no loyalty to any of us... but you can still repent."
The mare's face hardened. "Not on your life."
"No no no," Soarin' teased as the Wonderbolts began to circle the two of them, their mighty wings creating a vortex that threatened to consume any that came near it, "it is YOUR life you should be concerned about."
~MC~MC~MC~
"Squirt, you need to fight this!" Rainbow Dash called out. Scootaloo showed no sign of hearing her, her eyes remaining a solid gold as she lashed out against her idol. The cyan alicorn found herself pushed back, forced to rely upon her reflexes to avoid her #1 Fan's attacks. Even though Dash had the strength and endurance of an alicorn she found that the blows the orange pegasus was directing at her still hurt... and not just her body but her heart.
She looked upon her 'masterpiece' in disgust. She had twisted Scootaloo into this, warping her from a happy little filly that dreamed of flying and enjoyed riding her scooter into a violent soldier who would attack without thought... all in the name of Loyalty.
"Some on Scoots, I know you're in there!" Rainbow Dash pleaded, ducking a blow that had been aimed at her head. "You need break free! I know it is hard but you can do it!"
Scootaloo responded by flying around and bucking Rainbow in the stomach, causing the alicorn to cough.
"I don't want to hurt you!" Rainbow shouted, batting away one of the blows. She found herself panting and wondered how it was that her alicorn form was tiring out so quickly when Scootaloo showed not even a drop of sweat on her brow. The answer was, of course, a painful one: Rainbow's body was built around power. Every muscle thrummed with the desire to unleash its fury upon those that stood against her. Her horn ached from the magic that was pumping through it, begging for release. She felt tired and dizzy and every instinct screamed at her to kill and destroy. Holding back was, ironically, killing her.
'By Celestia, is this what Twilight felt when she ascended?' Rainbow thought as she reached out and lightly struck Scootaloo. The blow, while barely glancing from her perspective, sent Scootaloo flying through the air. 'No wonder she was barely able to keep it together! It feels like I am coming apart at the seams! How the hay does Princess Celestia manage not to incinerate all of us?' Rainbow could feel her body churning with power, her nerves on fire and her brain screaming at her to kill, kill, kill. Alicorns were the alpha and the omega and though they now lived in civilized times, the drive to become the predator was strong within all of them.
But when faced with an innocent who had no choice in her fights...
Rainbow let out a gasp as Scootaloo slipped behind her, her forelegs wrapped around Dash's throat and squeezing the air from her. Rainbow blinked and bucked but Scootaloo hung on, her head close to Dash's ear.
"No..."
"What... what was..."
"No... please... please Dash, don't let me..."
"Scootaloo?" Rainbow managed to croak out before the forelegs tightened once again.
"Don't... don't let me kill you... please... please... kill me."
Rainbow Dash's eyes snapped open, the horror of Loyalty's act hitting her full force: Scootaloo wasn't brainwashed... she simply had no control over her body. Loyalty had turned her into a puppet, forcing her to watch as her own hooves murdered her idol. She was a witness to an absolute horrid act that her own body was commiting.
"Kill me," Scootaloo sobbed. "Kill me..."
~MC~MC~MC~
Loyalty and Twilight crashed into each other, the sound of their bodies striking together rumbling like overhead thunder. The two of them lashed out with their hooves, trying to knock the other out and only serving to make things chaotic. Twilight pushed away and charged up her horn, sending several bolts of magic at Loyalty, the golden alicorn forced to take a page out of his brother's playbook and deflect them away.
"Why do you fight me?" Loyalty asked, dodging a blast of magic Twilight sent at him before launching himself at her. "You once believed in what I seek out... has my little brother clouded you mind so much you can't even see what you have become?" Loyalty's horn flashed and a bolt of golden energy lashed out from the sky, nearly taking off Twilight's head. "I seek unity... solidarity... with those things peace will come to Equestria!"
"Peace through oppression!" Twilight shouted, her mane billowing out as her eyes went black and white. Chaos magic roared from her form as her coat darkened and her wings gained an almost metallic shine to them. The sun found itself setting as there was no Celestia to aid it against the coming of the night sky that Twilight was summoning forth. "You don't want unity, you want blind devotion!" The stars gleamed and Twilight sent several of them racing towards Loyalty, forcing the abstract to twist and turn to avoid being incinerated. "You aren't really loyal... loyalty is standing with some pony, even when they are in the wrong! You abandon them the first chance you get!"
"So I should just stand by and watch them sin?" Loyalty countered, his own wings stretching out as he sent countless threads at Twilight, forming a great golden web that caught her and held her tight. Loyalty pulled himself towards her and shook his head in disgust before striking her in the gut. " You refuse to fix anything because you don't want to hurt feelings! I am loyal to an ideal! If you aren't part of that ideal you are merely an obstacle in my way!" He slammed his hooves into Twilight's stomach, causing the lavender alicorn to violently cough. "You can wear the mantle of power and give these grand little displays but in the end you are still the mindless worm you always were! You fail to see the big picture because you can't handle it."
"You're... lecturing me on seeing the big picture?" Twilight ground out, forcing herself not to scream as Loyalty struck her in the ribs again. The abstract, freed from Rainbow Dash's form and her conscious, was able to go in for the kill. "You keep reacting to the wrong things and only making everything worse! You abandoned Faith and let him become Doubt! You abandoned Equestria and let darkness infect it! And we finally begin to solve things on our own you throw a fit and demand you toys back! You are a monster, Loyalty, and-"
"I lecture you because I am your better!" Loyalty roared in anger, punching Twilight in the face. The threads grew tight, cutting into Twilight's skin. "Your kind was never meant to rival us... you were meant to follow our lead, to listen to our words! The abstracts are the true masters of this world… it was us that threw down Discord, not you! We were your saviors and now you attempt to write off what we did! And you, Twilight Sparkle... you are nothing but a worm screaming at the bird that has come to consume it.”
Twilight glared at the abstract. "I was wrong..." she said, though her tone was anything but apologetic. ”I always felt bad for Faith that you abandoned him. He spent a 1000 years without knowing his name and his purpose lost. He had no one to rely upon, no one to help him shoulder the burden. But now that I see you and see what he could have been... I am glad he was forsaken. Leaving all of you was the best thing that ever happened to him!"
"Just what I would expect a corrupted witch to say," Loyalty snapped, several more threads latching onto Twilight and pulling her body taunt.
"Without any of you to force him to become narrow minded he was able to explore and grow. Were those thousand years terrible? Of course... but during that time he learned about love and friendship and compassion and humility. He grew and became something better, something alive; not like you. You say I am a worm? You are a rock! You aren't able to feel, to think, to change! You might as well be dead! Faith might be an abstract but he is a pony, one of us… and he is a better stallion then you'll ever be!" Twilight forced her head forward, her eyes locking on Loyalty's. "That is your problem... you can claim to be big and powerful but inside... you are JUST-SO-SMALL!"
Loyalty sneered and back-hoofed her. "Before this day is done... you will beg me to forgive you for all the lies you've said."
Oh, my.
Please don't kill Scootaloo
I hate Loyalty now so much... Twilight, beat him up please
Just kill those abstracts already, Twilight. They're boring me to tears with their head-so-far-up-their-arse-they-can't-see-or-hear-anything-but-their-own-shit-attitude. No amount of flank-kicking will be satisfying enough, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try, Twily.
this is good
1990902 I second this.
It's a bird telling a cat it's a worm.
Those abstracts are just like the GOP, they don't care about anyone but themselves yet they claim they are doing what is best for everyone, it's so pathetic.
I just don't get how they can call themselves the Abstracts of Harmony when every thing they do only leads to the exact opposite, chaos! I really wish reformed Discord could appear in this fic because I'm sure he could get those abstracts to see sense.
I really hope that come next chapter Twilight pummels Loyalty and then when Loyalty begs to be killed Twilight looks him in the eye and refuses saying "You are not even worth killing! Instead you will live if only so you can see how pathetic you and your siblings are! Then perhaps you'll come to realize that you're even worse then you claim Celestia and Luna were!"
1990944
But the problem is, even the elements are being played by Doubt/Cadence. The Elements have a lack of experience with real live, like Twilight said: 1000 years forgetting who he is have Faith helped discovering who he is. The 1000 years gave him experience that the other elements lack. And with enough time and help they could be ascent to something more than just an Element.
Urge to strangle something rising...
Loyalty is as much of a powerful being as a snail.
...a pity they are too dense.
Awaiting further releases.
Wrong my Mussolini wannabe. Their kind spawned yours. They gave you your strenght. You are nothing but the avatar of a concept created by them. And your role was to administer that strenght in a responsible way, to inspire them in become better. NOT TO USE IT TO SLAVE THEM INTO PUPPETS.
YAY! You used the verse I sent you! Thanks!
You and me both Spike... You and me both... F**king unfair powers... Wow, check out that hanging lampshade.
Argh. Loyalty just will not listen to reason... Wait... oh... clever you... of course he won't listen to reason, he's loyalty. Loyalty is a trait that's devoid of reason and logic in and of itself, am I right? And... wow. The Lawful Evil is strong with Loyalty. And anyone who knows me knows how much I DESPISE Lawful Evil... Something tells me I'm really going to hate Honesty.
Sooo... Okay... I know you're trying your hardest to explain how the brainwashing works, but I'm still incredibly confused on its rules and whatnot. So the brainwashed are self aware that they are committing these acts under an influence, or is that just with Loyalty? Because I think I remember a small POV from one of the brainwashed a while back that was visibly influenced but didn't seem forcefully controlled against his will? Do certain abstracts cause personality wipes and others forceful mind control, or do they have the ability to do both? Or if the host is unwilling enough their mind becomes aware and their body moves on its own? Wow, you know how to get a guy to ask questions, lol. I think it's just the sheer amount of Deus Ex Machina you're working with that's doing this. But I'm glad you're trying to be subtle about it and opting to show us about it, so good on you for that, I really enjoyed Scootaloo's and RD's little exchange.
1990960
Well, given yesterday's episode...
I'm sure defender will think of something.
1991127
I don't want to give anything away... but I will say that what Loyalty did to Cloudsdale and what has happened to other characters (such as the guards, Sweetie Belle and the Wonderbolts) is different.
1991150
Haha, typical answer.
I'll wait.
Well buck me... i sneeze and 25 chapters of the sequel suddenly pop up...
I'm either way too busy or i got way to many stories to keep track of.
Time to get my reading groove on.
I am going to enjoy seeing Loyalty beaten to shit, I really am.
I really like the story, it's great, but there are quite a few errors, and not just in this chapter, which makes it a tinsy winsy bit hard to "get into" the story.
FUCK HIM UP, TWILIGHT!!
I hope the next chapter shows up soon. The suspense is killing me.
Wheeeee. Shit is still hitting the abstract.
I wonder how you planned to have Loyalty fall, given that Twilight is holding her ground against him (and that you said he is free of restraint and going for a kill). and if he is dead, I wonder if he will return to the abstract plane of existance or will he fall into Tartarus.
hope twilight sends loyalty to tartarus
since he is basically a big bully who believes in his own fairytales
1991185 That must have been one epic sneeze
Retarded elements....
loyalty. Im a generally nice, fun sometimes crazy kind of guy, but i would like to say i am going to read how you have you're ass handed to you, on a silver platter, with the cheque, and im going to LOVE EVERY BUCKING MOMENT OF IT.
imgace.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/you-came-to-the-wrong-neighborhood-motherfucker.jpg
Weeeell...what to do now? Spike has seemingly found a mighty foe in the Wonderbolts. Spitfire is forced to fight Soarin, her lifelong friend and companion. (At least it seems to me that the both of them share a friendship with each other, if nothing more.) Rainbow Dash is fighting her own nature as an alicorn and a messed up Scootaloo. I don't wish to be in her hooves now...or in Spitfires for that matter.
But everypony is depending on Twilight Sparkle - again.
Yes, she is a mighty alicorn and she had the most training in her abilities. Yes, the side she's chosen and defends seems to be the better one. (Well, they DO throw Equestria into a chaos after another, after all)
But fighting an abstract? I don't know. I don't think Twilight is going to win that easily. Loyalty seems messed up too. Controlling an entire army with nothing but a thought? Fighting Twilight the alicorn AT THE SAME TIME? Not to mention he (or is an abstract an it?) probably focuses at keeping Spike at bay, defeating Spitfire, taking out his petty revenge on Rainbow Dash (and isn't it a cruel way he chooses to do that?) AND keeps an entire army of minds, will and bodies under his wrap. Sounds pretty powerful to me, if you ask me.
The only thing I could see that would turn a corrupted element such as this would be another. In short, we need Faith! He and his ragtag group of ponies will definitely have a 'fun time' escaping and I really wonder how you are going to let the two 'rebel-armies' join up? Or don't they join and fight through another turned alicorn/abstract mix first? Or do they even fight through several others, pretty unaware of each other until the end? It would make an interesting twist if that happened. But that is kinda unlogical, seeing as Twilight and Faith can speak to each other with their minds. Also, how is 'Doubtence' going to make her next move? After all, she IS a master manipulator and has up to two queens to 'play with'.
Count me hooked for the story, bro!
As a smart witch once so eloquently put it: "What don't die can't live. What don't live can't change. What don't change can't learn. The smallest creature that dies in the grass knows more than you." Really liking where this is going.
Man...I don't think it's possible to get through to Loyalty. He is really, really, REALLY thick in the head with his messed up ideals. But then again, not having 1000 years of the joys and trials of life can do stuff to an intelligent being. The thing that makes me go Are you serious? is that Loyalty claims that Twilight can't see the bigger picture when it is really himself that can't see the bigger picture!
I just hope that he gets his sorry flank handed to him (badly) so that he can see the error of his and his siblings ways.
Also, I would like to add that the fight with Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo is very interesting. Here's hoping that Scootaloo doesn't end up biting the dust.
- Super-Brony12
Do it. Push Rainbow's Berserk Button. I dare you.
Man, this is truly being an interesting battle of the will and power. I truly cannot wait to see more coming from within this emotional confrontation between love ones.
And if Spike thinks he's annoyed now, wait until he catches up with Rarity.
I truly do believe that Spike will be playing a major role in saving Rarity and the others.
Also if Loyalty's that "powerful" it makes me wonder what would happen whne you take on Fluttershy and her element ?
Please do keep up the good work upon such a great tale like this one.
And it is people like this that made me stop going to church.
I have no qualms with killing everypony that gets in the way and call discord because those stupid abstracts need to learn to deal with the proper enemy not the wrong one.
""You need break free! I know it is hard but you can do it!""
Need to*
1991753
" …Loyalty, on the other hand, failed epically! Seriously, he need to get beat down repetitively (not kill, of course, but he definitely need a good knock of sense put into his head). "
By saying that, you mean Loyalty as abstract ?
Because honestly all abstracts are screwing up so far, not only they failed to help Faith when he need it the most, but now in time when Faith is finally recovering, they made they move and they threat Faith as Doubt, not only they failed to help him, but now they even make the situation worse, not to mention brainwashing all elements.
It is not just Loyality who failed, it is all elements, Kindness is the only one who did not screwed up as much as others, that is why Faith tried to talk with her, hoping to get some sense into her, but then Generosity showed up and was very generous with pain.
Anyway back to the subject, I must agree that saying " Celestia fail " was rather very short way to explain what I meant by just comparing how all reacted:
Mane 5, Shinning Armor, Celestia, Twilight parents hurt Twilight a lot, and not just on the wedding, but in the past as well
Everyone except Spike and Cadence assumed Twilight to be corrupted or dangerous and that she need to be cured, they wanted to capture her above talking with her.
In the end princesses tried to heal Twilight by force despise possible consequences, only Cadence and Spike acted mature enough ( and it is sad that Cadence end up as Doubt vessel, she was the one who actually acted reasonable without jumping to conclusions like everyone else ).
Celestia pride was the source of all mistakes, she just could not apologise, she could not admit that she did mistake until very end ( I know it was hard for her, but it does not erase how she and Luna betrayed Faith, and when she said " we forgive you Twilight .... " and Twilight answered " what, it is you who should apologise to me ", it was another punch into weakened trust between them, to the very end Celestia acted like she is flawless and better, it was something what Twilight not took to well.
When mane 5 apologised, Twilight parents and Shinning Armor assisted to find how to cure Doubt, Celestia wait up to the very end until she finally defeated her pride.
So yea, the issue I find is that it took Celestia faar to long to defeat her pride and admit her mistakes, she did not got enough interaction with Twilight in " Faith and Doubt " story, that is why I feel she need to get it in this story, I understand you may have other opinion then me, but like I said before, I just fell Celestia need more interaction with Twilight in this story because in last one she got far to little, and even if Twilight has forgiven her, she need it to forgive herself.
And since I am on it, Luna own Faith/Doubt some interaction and character development, after all she betrayed him and wanted to blame him for all her mistakes, but I just mention it on side note.
Hey Loyalty, by the end of the day, you'll be begging me not to shatter the fourth wall and beat the fuck out of you....
Seriously, Loyalty is pissing me off. 'I am Loyalty, I understand Loyalty!'
No Loyalty, you're a cunt, and a bitch and you remind me of the people that used to try to thrash me back in school. Somepony needs to teach you a lesson.
1991066
Do you think they'll make the trains run on time?
loyalty forgets one important fact. abstracts represent a concept they can die, twilight is the embodiement of the stars and both types of magic. all three of these are eternal, twilight is eternal like a pheonix, if he kills her he has to deal with a full power refreshed alicorn, well he well grow tired more and more. in the end he is merly fighting the inevitable.
You should really quote V.
-Behind this mask is an idea, ideas are bullet-proof.
Or something like that.
Rainbow's gonna tear out Loyalty's blasted organs...
> Loyalty backhoofed Twi
Smite. Him.
I wodner if all the Abstracts are this blind.... honestly ... If you give up peace to make peace is it realy peace, and the answer is obvious... it is not. and Loyalty is liek a broken record he isnt loyal he is the msot disloyal fuck ever! he betrayed his bearer to further HIS OWN goals sure he can argue hes loyal ot his goal but that is foolish, but it still leaves he was disloyal to those he said he'd protecty and only ruins them further. If all theother abstracts do not see this they are foolish and blind. (exept pinkies i think she got what she wants "LAUGH OR ILL MAKE YOU LAUGH!" now that'd make me laugh.) Pinkie and fluttershy are ognna be the hardest of the Abracts to be i think they are techicly them sot innosent of them and the most supportive... and iwht this the support became offinsive and making monsterous results.
I am filled with SO MUCH RAGE.
As bad as Loyalty is, I'm betting that either Honesty or Kindness are even worse.
Go for the kill, Twilight! No mercy!
1991539
Doubtence... brilliant.
From now on, when I refer to Doubt, i am talking about Faith before his rebirth... and Doubtence will refer to the original Doubt.
As to everyone else, I love all your comments and keep them coming. Things you mention do inspire me to consider new angles and can, at times, change elements of the story, so it never hurts to post.
Thank you
Absolutely perfect defender2222, for how you wrote out Loyalty's, well... loyalty ability.
Physical loyalty and nothing else.
That just fits so well with everything the "evil" abstracts are doing - Slavery to the point where ponies are just mindless puppets doing whatever their "masters" want them to. Who cares if the ponies don't want to be shackled down and forced into "harmony"? Let's just use magic to muddle their minds and force their bodies to do our bidding!
Oh, I do hope you place immense amounts of sweet, juicy irony into the fates of the abstracts.
Uuuuf... this is really rally hammy.
I love the start and most of the prequel but the ending was so full of drama it looked funny, the sequel seems to be just as full.
I'll soldier on cuz i really like the story behind but it's the little moments that keep me reading: the 'drinking' game in the jail, the scene after the fight with rd when she was confronted with what she did(the fight itself kinda reminded me of Dragonball Z ) or the conversations with queen Fluttershy. Try to tone down a bit when it comes to drama... but then again it could be just me.
So now we see the problem with abstraction: no context.
Loyalty to ideas is insane - Plato had it bass ackwards: the more idealized something is, the further away from the real world it is.
I suspect that by the end of the story we're going to hear the 'Doubtence made us act bad' defense from at least one abstract. But there's a problem: things you say when you're drunk may not be anything you'd ever speak aloud while sober - but they're still in your head, it just isn't getting filtered so it sounds acceptable.
There may be some room for atonement, but only if they admit they have serious attitude problems.
i beesech the defender2222 to do as twilight has done in this gif in order to write your awesome fic even faster
i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6974940928/h78216B98/
1994291
Yay! I created a submeme to your story! (At least I hope it will be one)
I know this won't happen, but I just get the feeling that Twilight will somehow force/transfer emotions into Loyalty's head somehow (directly or through memory, perhaps) and he'll feel pain and be hurt because he doesn't feel emotions.
For a moment, I wanted to ask what it would be like if they failed or gave up at any point in the story, but then I realized it would be too horrifyingly stale for me to live with reading.
1990902
I agree... that Loyalty and the others need to be slaughtered...
Just don't kill little Scootaloo