Hello, how are you?
I guess this is where I describe myself... Well...
I'm am indeed a woman. I take pride in reading and making fan fictions. I like video games, anime, and creative writing. If I try to help you with your fics and you get pissy with me, there will be RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGEEEEEEE!
I never knew that my fics would be actually be half-way decent.
Here's what you need to know when it comes to fan fics:
I will tolerate clop fics but only if they are:
Not Spike clop fics. Dragon boners give me the creeps.
Romantic. Not just sex for sex. It has to be romantic or I will troll you.
It's gotta have a story to it! Don't just say something like:
'Rainbow Dash was just about to have some wild lesbo sex with Applejack because she wanted it.'
It's gotta be like this:
'It was a warm sunny day in the lovely town of Ponyville. The sun gleamed over the Apple family's orchird.
"Thank ya kindly Rainbow Dash for helping me buck these here apple trees."
"Hey no prob AJ, anything for a friend." Rainbow Dash said as she bucked an apple tree.
"Well, ah'm gonna go get us some lemonade. Ah'll be back faster than you can say-" Applejack couldn't finish what she was going to say because she had tripped on a bucket of apples.
"Applejack! Are you ok?" Rainbow Dash asked her fallen friend reaching for her hoof.
"Yeah, ah think so." Applejack replied as she reached her hoof for Rainbow's.
When their hooves met, Applejack pulled Rainbow Dash to the ground and began to playfully wrestle her. They wrestled so much that they started to roll down the green hill.
When they reached the bottom of the hill, they found themselves on top of each other. Their eyes met one another...'
And so on and so forth. (Don't steal that.)
Also gore is something that I hate reading. So none of that stuff. Grim dark maybe, but no gore.
Plus, since the cats' outta da bag yo, my name is Raven. But you can call me Rae. Or Snaps. Or Snapple. Or Snapple Jack. Which ever you prefer bro.
Wow, that was long. Whatever! Love ya!
88w, 5dDitzy Doo.
54w, 14h>50 weeks 0 comments · 66 views
55w, 6dSooooooooooo... 0 comments · 47 views
56w, 2d*yawn* 1 comments · 59 views
62w, 22hQuestion Time 3 comments · 55 views
63w, 5dCake walks and fucking math. 7 comments · 67 views
64w, 4dINCOMIIIIIIIIIING! 2 comments · 49 views
64w, 6dParty time? oyis. 0 comments · 34 views
67w, 2dSometimes... 4 comments · 45 views
67w, 4dWHAT?! A STORY?! IMPOSSIBLE! 2 comments · 66 views
74w, 20hwewt! 8 comments · 49 views
Before we begin! I just wanted to let you know, this chapter was a PAIN IN THE FLANK!
Specail thanks to GrimWolf and NightWing for the awesome ideas! Without them, this chapter would be crap.
The next few days were normal at the most. Dinky and I watched a bunch of super hero movies like Spider Mare, Spider Mare 2: Return of the Green Parasprite, Bat Stallion, Wonder Mare, Super Stallion, and other poorly named movies copy writed by Snapple Jack Productions.
Heh heh, I broke the fourth wall. And this sentence is blue. U mad bro?
"Mommy, I'm sleepy." Dinky said with dropey eyes.
"Aw baby. Go on to bed, I'll be in there in a second to tuck you in and read you a bed time story."
She yawned before mummbling "Okaaaaaaaaaaaaay."
I watched her slowly stumble into her room. I sure do love that goofy filly.
"Alright silly filly, what'cha want me to read ya tonight?" I asked plopping down on the bed next to Dinky.
"Let's see, there's The Princess and the Colt, The Monster in the Forest-"
"Monster in the Forest! Monster in the Forest!" She exclaimed jumping up and down.
"Ha ha, ok ok calm down!"
She settled down, got her doll, and listened. As I cleared my throat, the phone began to ring.
"Who could that be?" I asked myself, about to pick up the phone.
"Ditzy? Umm... H- hey! How are you?" The pony asked in a nervous voice.
"Oh, Dr. Whooves! I'm fine, just about to read Dinky a bed time story."
"That's nice... Uh hey! I was just wondering... if umm... if you want to... go to this coustume party with me... I have an extra ticket... I mean if you want to! You don't have to of course! But-"
"Sure, I'd love to go!"
"I mean if you don't want to go with me that's f- really?!"
"Yeah it sounds like fun."
"Alright! So I'll... pick you up tomorrow at 8 then!"
"It's a date."
"Ok then! Be sure to wear a coustume."
"Will do. Bye Dr."
"Alright Dinky, let's read this bad boy!"
I opended the book to a colorful selection of pop up pictures.
"Once apon a time, there was a little green monster named Fud. Fud lived in a tiny forest in the middle of no where with his parents Thud and Mud. Fud loved his pet dog but one day-" I looked over to see if Dinky was still paying attention but she was fast asleep.
Smiling, I tucked her in and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
"Good night muffin."
The next day, I thought I might go see Rarity. Since the coustume ball was tonight, I might as well go as as a superhero.
Ding the little bell rang as I entered the boutique.
"Ditzy! How are you darling?" Rarity asked holding the suit in her hooves.
"Hey Rarity. Just thought I might pick up my coustume."
"Of course darling! Here you are." She said handing me to coustume.
It was amazing!
"Wow Rarity! It's amazing!" I said, marviling at the amazing stitch work.
"Isn't it?" She asked also marviling at the coustume.
Just then, a buzz rang in my ears. It was an irritating buzz, like there was a fly stuck in my head. I rubbed my head hoping that this was just an migrane but it didn't go away.
"Ditzy, are you ok dear?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Hey do you have any migrane pills?" I asked still rubbing my head.
"Of course I'll get you some." The concerned unicorn said heading towards the kitchen.
The pain was killing me. The intense buzzing turned into stinging and then thumping that made me moan in utter pain. It seemed like forever until Rarity came back with two head ache pills and a glass of water.
"Here you are darling." She handed me the item in her hooves.
I took the pills but the pain didn't go away. The pain kept growing and growing until I felt like I was going to pop. I was on the edge of bursting out and screaming and kicking when I started to hear a small noise. It sounded like... a piano.
"Hey Rarity... are you... playing music?" I asked still rubbing my head.
"What was that?" She asked taking out her ear buds from her iPony.
"What are you listening to?"
"Beethoofen's piano solo. Why?"
"Oh um... no reason."
How can I hear what Rarity is listening to?! She has ear buds on! Unless...
"I... I need to go." I said running out the door with the coustume on my back.
As I flew above the clouds, I could hear the voices of the ponies down below saying, "Hello!" and "How are you?"
The only explnation I could think of was super power.
"Super hearing huh? Cool!" I told myself flying back home.
"Now Dinky, you be good for Granny Smith ok?" I told Dinky pointing to the sleeping elder.
"Ok mommy." She said brushing her doll's mane.
"Well, what do you think? Swanky huh?" I asked her, showing off my superhero outfit.
"You look great mommy! Like a superhero!"
I bent down and gave Dinky a kiss.
"I love you muffin butt."
"And I love you mommy muffin."
Knock Knock Knock
I opended the door to see Dr. Whooves in a fancy tux with flowers in his mouth.
"Dr. Whooves? I thought we agreed to met each other at the ball."
"Ih know bet..." He spit the flowers out of his mouth and began to talk propperly.
"I know but I couldn't wait to see you. Wow... you look... cool..." He said trying his best not to use the word beautiful too quickly.
"Really? Thanks. You look... what are you supose to be again?" I asked examing the odd get up for a coustume ball.
Dr. Whooves wasn't suposed to be dressed as anypony. He just wanted to look nice for this extraordinary mare.
"I'm um..." He had to think.
"I know! Your Buck, James Buck."
"Yes! That's it I'm that!" He said giving me the flowers.
"Well what are we waiting for Mr. Buck? Let's go!" I shouted grabbing him by his hoof and dragging him out the door.
"Bye mommy!" Dinky shouted from the door as she watched us run playfully.
Dinky closed the door quietly and ran to go get her bedtime book.
Dinky looked at the colorful pictures and imgained herself living with the monsters in her book. Wait... Dinky remembered that the monster lived in a forest... there's a forest in Ponyville... maybe the monster's lived there! Dinky had to know if they did. She grabbed her flashlight, her doll, and her raincoat and headed outside. She didn't worry about Granny Smith, she knew she would be asleep for the rest of the night.
Me and Dr. Whooves walked together to the coustume ball.
Dr. Whooves began to sweat. He wasn't sure what to say until they got there.
"So... Ditzy... how's Dinky?" He asked walking close to me.
"Dinky? She's ok. Hyper, but ok." I said giggling afterwards.
"Do you love Dinky?" He asked feeling stupid for asking that.
"Of course I love her. She's my whole world."
"Oh yeah." He said facehoofing himself when I wasn't looking.
"So, where is this ball anyway?"
"Trust me. It's somewhere very special."
My mind raced with thoughts. Maybe it was at the beach, or the post office, or maybe even in a shoe!
"Here we are!" The timelord exclaimed opening the door for me.
"This is it?"
"But... this is the hospital."
"Wow... swanky." I said going into the dark building
"Ain't it?" He said closing the door behind him.
There were so many ponies at the dance. Some paitents, some doctors and nurses, and some who just came here to be here.
I watched in amazement as the ponies socalized and danced.
"Why are you so amazed? It's not that special." Dr. Whooves asked.
"It's just that... I've never been to a party before."
"Really?" The timelord asked in shock.
"Nopony has ever invited me to one." I said trying to hide my face.
"Well then, let's make your first party memorberable." He said handing me his hoof.
I wasn't quite sure what he was doing.
"Well, will you?"
"Will I what?" I asked still puzzled.
"Dance with me?"
My eyes widened at that question. Nopony as ever asked me to dance with them before. My heart melted and tears of joy formed in my eyes.
"O- okay." I said grabbing his hoof and trying to play it cool.
He lead me to the dance floor as the music turned from 80's disco to 90's slow dancing music. I was nervous. I didn't know how to dance, but somehow, I felt like I could dance to the moon and back.
"Do you know how to slow dance?"
I shook my head.
"Here. I'll teach you." He said placing his body against mine.
He gentely guided my hooves behind his back. I wasn't sure what he was doing at first, but then it clicked in my head. I laid my head on his shoulder, closed my eyes, and let the timelord lead.
As we danced, I could feel something in the pit of my tummy. I never felt this feeling before. Could this... be what they call 'love'?
Dinky walked and walked until she reached the Everfree forest. It was dark and spooky but she knew she had to be brave like mommy. She turned on her flashlight and quietly walked into the forest.
"Helloooo... Mr. Monster?" She asked as if anypony could hear her.
She looked left and right to try to find the monster.
"Mr. Monster? He-"
Dinky bumped into some sort of icky, green fork in the road. She poked it to try to find out what it was. It grumbled as she did.
"A monster! I found it! I found it! I found it! I found-"
She countiuned to scream 'I found it' until the monster looked over to see what was causing all the noise.
"I found it! I found it! I f-"
RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWR The monster rawred right into Dinky's face.
"Mommyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" She screamed running away from the scary goe monster.
It rawred as it chased after the frightend filly.
"Ditzy, you dance beauitfly." Dr. Whooves said as we broke free from our dancing postion.
He took his hoof to my chin. We both stared deeply into our love struck eyes. Dr. Whooves hesitated for a while until he finally puckered his lips. I knew what he was doing and puckered mine as well. Our lips were just about to met until, Mommyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
"Dinky?" I asked myself.
"What about Dinky?" Dr. Whooves asked in concern.
"I gotta go!" I shouted, flying out the door at sonic speed.
Dr. Whooves hung his head in sadness.
"This was fun. We should do it again." I said running back to him giving the timelord a peck on the cheek.
His body stifened with thumping hearts for eyes. I had no time to try to figure out what had happened to his body, my daughter was calling me.
"Mommyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" Dinky called out still running from the monster, leading it to Ponyville.
The ponies of Ponyville watched in horror as the monster destroyed the town.
Flying above the night sky, I scanned Ponyville to try to find Dinky.
"Huh?" I stopped myself in mid-air, watching the green goop monster destroy the town. Quickly, I swooped down to get a closer look. Terrifed ponies bumped into me when I landed on the ground. I was still worried about Dinky, but right now I foucused my attention on the green beast.
I flew towards the monster and knew what I had to do. Without questions, I used my Derp Stare to calm the beast down. The green goop monster started to get derpy and stumbled dizzly. If he fell, he could crush an innocent pony's house! Swiftly, I flew under the monster, grabbed some nearby rope, and began to tie his feet down. This only made it worse because he began to hop furriously, causing an earthquake. I had to put a stop to this! Before the monster could fall over, I used my super strengh to pick the over grown pile of goe. I could barely keep ahold of him. He was slipping from my hooves. I had to do what I was about to do quick. With my eyes closed, I began to twirl around in the air. I kept twirling and twirling until the monster slipped through my hooves and flew towards the Everfree forest.
"And stay out!"
The crowd shouted with joy as I flew back to the ground. It was just like in my dreams!
"Thank you for saving our fair town masked hero!" The mayor said walking up to me.
I didn't reply with words but with a simple nod.
"I dub this masked hero..." She waited for me to tell her who I was. I whispered it in her ear.
The crowd grew louder and louder as they chanted 'The Derp!'
This was just like in my dreams. Only, better.