Hello Fimfiction.  First time author here to bring you an idea that's been stewing in my head for some time.  Feedback is welcome of course, and special thanks to my editor SerenityViewer.

*Looks at description* This could be really good or absolutely terrible.

*Dives in*

Edit: That was...creepy. I have no other words than that.

Vary good. Loved refrences. Yet, ive only seen Shinign Armor shipped with Cadence who transofmred in to a stallion, and in a WTF fic, Blueblood. Soarin, only seen him shipped with Braeburn. FancyPants i have no idea what stallion he was shipped with. Spike, only seen with Snails and Snips, in a preetty cool fic, minus that pairing. Big Mac, i know hes been shipped with Caramel. Still good, keep it up!

Iron Will has a plan, to make you a man!

Not bad, not bad at all. Please continue.

So the stallions (and male dragon) are with a male coach...

and the mares are with a female coach.

Um, more?

>>15380041538004

It's on the way.

This sounds like a pretty messed up scenario ...

... read it ...

... i was right

I don't know why this was featured with only 12 likes, no offense, just odd.  But it was fun and the idea to send everyone to straight camp is silly enough to enjoy.

It's just... so freaking bizarre. Not that that is a criticism.

And why did Fluttershy need to feel Twilight up? Did that add, well, anything to the story at all, other than making me want to throw it off a bridge there and then?

>>15382141538214 And some spam.....

Though on the story

This is relevant to my interests. +1 & Fav.

Equestria Science would like to remind you that pony hell is a real place, and that you will be sent there at the first sign of defiance!

The notion that the main 6 is entirely gay is ridiculous.

Rarity's clearly bisexual.

Question: How come no one brought up the fact that the Elements of Harmony worked well enough for the 'fags' as Celestia put it before? That seems like a pretty large plot hole that completely invalidates Celestias reasons for being there.

Someone watched But I Am A Cheerleader lately.

>>15373831537383 I saw Armor also with Big Mac, Soarin sometimes with Caramel and Big Mac with Blues or Hoity Toity. So there are evidences for that 3. But i really have no idea about Fancy or Spike. Never saw them with another Guy before.

I wasn't sure about this at first. But the end sold me. A+!

I'd watch, but I despise inter-Mane Six shipping. Why ruin perfectly good friendships by bringing romance into it? People say they're so close, romance is only natural. What crap. I bet any guy who was asked that would balk, but because its females it makes perfect sense.

Why do I get the feeling celestia isn't trying to change their sexuality at all....Oh and points to you for protective Dash

Poor Twilight gets a night with molestia!

I confess that when I read 'straight camp' I was really thinking of the other kind of 'camp'. But that's okay, cause Celestia's got both covered

Trollestia's on a rampage!

You heard that sound? That was me rolling on the floor with laughter at the "gay capital of Equestria"

I give you one Spike and three Pinkie smiles:

"coughtrackingthiscough"

This premise is just way too fun to pass up.

Very tracked!

Welp, I'm offended.

I'm not good with incomplete fics (I forget everything), but I HAVE to read this now. Here I go!

>>15383191538319 Because there is no such thing. Celestia is just fucking with them. It's really obvious when she said Twilight was straight, it's nearly stated when Shining Armor says he thinks his Boss is pranking him AGAIN, and it's Cemented with that last scene.

This fic is my new favorite Trollestia fic.

Well that was... Interesting...

>>15386461538646

This man has it right.

Trollestia be trolling.

EDIT: Molestia be molesting?

Oh...oh my...This could either be really fun, or really uncomfortable... So far it's on the fun side.

>>15385211538521

"Every pony in this town is FABULOUS!"

This is all sorts of brilliant! Take my like and my favorite good sir! Very funny. Crazy Celestia is best Celestia!

>>15383191538319  Except for the fact that this is an absurdist comedy and therefore doesn't exactly plan on making much sense to begin with.  

That being said, Spike is clearly not gay considering he can't wait until he's a teenage dragon because he wants to do Rarity until she passes out (HIS OWN WORDS!!  I GOT HIM ON CAMERA!!).  I've been blackmailing him for a year now.  

PS:  Discord is also gay.  

>>15387391538739

Kaaaay...how exactly does it count as blackmailing him if you're telling everyone anyway?

“Because the Elements of Harmony don’t work for fags. I’ve got to set each of you straight or Equestria is doomed.”

Oh dear god, that one sentence... it's so damn beautiful. Words cannot begin to describe the plethora of... of... FEELS, I have now. This has been liked, favorite'd and just generally praised.

"Then The Dude Man Bro said: 'LET THERE BE AN AWESOME STORY!' And The Dude Man Bro saw that the fic was good, and he put it in the feature box."

-Bob Marley

I'm not going to try to hide it. I was horribly put off by two lines written in the story.

“Because the Elements of Harmony don’t work for fags. I’ve got to set each of you straight or Equestria is doomed.”

“And it is. And there isn’t. For mares anyway. Gay stallions go to Pony Hell, Rarity. In my wisdom as Princess, I decreed this long ago.”

I realize that you're probably playing this more for some sort of Trollestia comedy and not in fact as some sort of anti-homosexual propaganda, but this all comes off as just thinly veiled 'I hate homosexuals'. I mean, not only are those two lines mildly troublesome, but they are practically out of character. Even if Celestia was simply trolling, she still has some tact.

In short, yes my jimmies are rustled, but I am warily tracking this.

I understand that the elements are all lesbein but I have a hard time imagining all of the men being gay. Spike has a crush on rarity, Fancy Pants has a trophy wife, Big Mac is engaged to Cheeralee, Shining Aurmor is married and he is not hiding anything, the only pony I have no good excuse for is Sorin, unless his pie is a man, then this will be a good lesson for him.

dtlux1

PS: I love this story, you get-

A favorite,

A like

5 out of 5 of these

DAFUQ

>>15387571538757  He's out of money.  So now I'm just going to humiliate him.  

I'd imagine the "Pony Hell" comment is satire.

Okay, this was great. I don't get one thing though, twilight clearly has a hard horn for celestia yet she's uncomfortable being in the same bed. Well alright fair enough, you didn't state who it was awkward for but it implied it was twilight, could you elaborate more? Like is she trying to live up to her mentor's expectations despite her horn?

this is great stuff

>>15388091538809

...Did I just read!?

Well, there goes my Twi/Rar/Cel/Bon/Tavi/Granny/Scoots/Zicora/Dash/Shy/Lyra/Scratch/Mayor/Luna/Sweetie/Pinkie/AJ/Cadance/Cry/Applebloom shipfic out the window...

*sighs sadly stuffing shamesock back under the mattress*

Trollestia strikes again

I totally lost it when Iron Will showed up.

I've always imagine that Shinning was out of the gay group, since he is actually married in canon, but you made your point about the married part, I can't wait to see the "evidence" for him, or Mac, or Soarin'

i never seen Celestia anti-gay before, exspically, because of, oh i don't know, this?!

Image: http://th04.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2012/173/1/6/twilestia_by_perinigricon-d54gtzb.png

Seriously, if your gonna make Celestia anti-gay, make sure there is no known gay shippings with her!

and sadly, i might not read this cause it foul mouths the good princess.

wat

I like to think theres two universes with the mane six.

First the universe of the show

Second, the universe of the fanfiction where they are all gay

So I see this as the fanfiction universe mane six getting treated by the show universe Celestia

>>15383701538370

1) Ponies are more tolerant than humans

2) Girls are more open and understanding about it than guys, who see it as a big machoness issue

3) In a world like Equestria gender wouldn't matter nearly as much: In utopia, love is love.

4) It's adorable.

5) No, seriously, it can be really friggin' cute.

6) It's a female dominated universe. In China there are a lot more guys than girls and, guess what? Homosexuality spikes accordingly.

7) You are entitled to your very wrong opinion.

>>15389161538916

You're an idiot.

No story would ever be written, ever, here if it wasn't allowed to contradict other fanon.

That's right fanon.

Gay jokes are meh, and I don't like their characterizations. Honestly, cannot downvote it in good conscious, but not tracking it. Just... not my cup of tea. (Trolling or not)

>>15387931538793

Think those lines are more of the author's sense of comedy. Granted, there is nothing wrong with it per se, but it does strike me as very non-Celestia/Trollestia in terms of presentation. Meh, I am a big man, and have dealt with worse jokes personally before...

I promise to a lot of things I will read this as soon as I am able to.  Unfortunate as it is, Nightmare Night is one of my busy nights...

>>15390001539000 it's just my opinion. Not every brony has to like the same thing. and temptation lead me to read it, and as i suspected, it disrepected Celestia. i have nothing aganst Fanon in whole, just not certain fanon where Celestia is made into a bitch. i am also not fond of the anti-celestia memes, Trollesstia, Molestia, exspieacly not Tyrant Celestia.

Jokes on you, I still clopped.

>>15390001539000

1. No argument.

2. So all girls are bisexual? I have no qualms about me being some huge manly man, I know I'm not. But, I also know I would never go down on a guy. I'm just not attracted to guys sexually. True, human sexuality is a very fluid thing, and it would be for ponies, but to say that all six are bisexual is a bit presumptuous.

3. Not disputing that, but the science shows there is a difference between love and physical attraction. This is focusing on the physical aspect.

4. Okay, point taken

5. Yes, it can be, but it gets old.

6. Again, not saying that there wouldn't be more lesbians in this world, just disputing the Mane Six as lesbians.

7. How am I wrong? We have been given NO clue to orientation, other than Spike loving Rarity and Rarity wanting Blueblood. Going by what I have seen, I like to see them as straight. This author sees them as gay. Okay, live and let live. My issue, again, is these are six girls with perfect friendships, and that itself is beyond adorable. Why make things more complicated by bringing sex and romance into it? And once more, I just don't see the lesbian angle.

Hilariously brilliant fic. Keep it up!

>>15379851537985

Yeah, I am also eying the same problem. I wonder whether Celestia is trying to make them MORE gay, not less. It's not like "gay-camps" or whatever work in real life.

>>15383191538319

Obviously, they were less gay then. Or something.

Really, if you look at this, you see that Celestia is just messing with all of them with this excuse.

>>15390521539052

I'm just teasing you with the seventh one, really your arguments are sound and well structured, you're obviously too intelligent to be a bigot, after all.

I'll just justify it here:

Rainbow Dash: Lesbian. Personality. -Shrug- Need I say more?

Pinkie Pie: Bisexual, more likely. Why would she let gender get in the way of how friendly she can get?

Twilight Sparkle: Bisexual. Love is love is love, the body is merely a vessel.

The other three are a little more complicated.

Fluttershy: Asexual. I guess.

AppleJack: Straight, with a few exceptions.

Rarity: Just as likely to be straight as she is bi. She flirts outrageously with a lot of guys, sure, but she never seems to plan to go anywhere with them. Who knows? Still, most likely straight.

Guys, guys, guys, guys?

Hey guys?

Hey!  Hey guys?

I'm fairly certain this is Celestia trying to get Twilight to admit to her feelings.

Just saying.

EDIT: Also, Trollestia entirely.

>>15388601538860

Actually, I like this story. Funny trollfic with anti-gayness. Because too much gay ponies. ZANG! BOOM! STRAIGHT OR TO THE MOON!

>>15387251538725

Image: http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8pfopJx9P1r2om7x.gif

>>15387931538793

You do realize that Celestia's lines were all spoken with this face:

Image: http://images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw246_celestia%20smirk.png

It's completely over the top, such that the only reason the girls believe her is an incredible amount of naivete.

Yep, pony hell makes perfect sense, except for one thing. Why is it "pony hell" for them, but just"hell" for us?

This is your first work?

...

You have some serious talent, sir. Have an upvote. Please, proceed whenever you are ready.

Umm... why am I here? And why am I still here?

I had to re-read this to figure out what the buck was going on.  I have only one thing to comment:

  This is all a plot by Molestia to get into Twilight's Plot!

>>15390791539079

Thank you. I was hoping I didn't come off too snarky.

Rainbow Dash: Straight. My sister is a bigger tomboy than Dash, and she's as straight as they come. You see lesbian, I see tomcolt.

Pinkie Pie: agreed. Pinkie loves everybody.

Twilight: I'll give you bi-curious, but too shy to do anything about it.

Fluttershy: agreed.

Applejack: agreed. To be honest, Appledash is my most hated pairing. What, they're very competitive,  so they must really just be in lesbians with each other!!!

Rarity: bisexual, leaning towards straight. She wants to live her life with a stallion, but she wouldn't be adverse to an occasional tryst with a mare.

>>15391461539146

Yep, yep, yep.

I've asked a lot of lesbians for their take on Rainbow and they're pretty sure about it, so hey. I'm just deferring to the experts in the field. And the backseat. And the alley. And the bedroom. You see where I'm going with this.

AppleDash: Yep. Yep yep yep yep EEeeeyup. Almost as bad as half-assed Rari-Jack: Opposites attract therefore they must be butt-buddies.

I'll support TwiJack: Both about as nervous as each other, Twilight in general, AJ because of the whole Twilight's a mare thing, they just mesh together well. But even with that it's still coming to terms with liking a female friend as something more as opposed to, say, "We're incredibly butch lesbians, let's go have sex, sexy sex."

Anyway, I'm off to re-read The End of Equestria.  Pillow fights man.

Pillow fights.

Insufficient data.....

also taking note: 5 males and 6 girls.... Celestia forgot to order something else for Twi

Shenanigans on the horizon

Fancy Pants is married to Fleur

2 words: Wut? & Lawl

This story... it's off to an amazing start. It really reminds me of an odd comedy movie called "But I'm a Cheerleader!" This could either continue to be really awesome, or turn painful. I'm hoping for the former. With this chapter you have me till you lose me though.

The twist on Celestia not seeing Twilight's obvious orientation was classic. And the deadpan humor was great. Like the whole: "Oh, Love between any stallion, mare, or none pony is wonderful. But the elements of harmony don't work for fags."  Well done!

>>15388021538802

When did Big Mac get engaged to Cheerilee? They were just friends at the end of the hearts and hooves day thing.

As for the others, Shining was explained in this chapter as marrying to deny his homosexuality. Fancy Pants could be doing something similar and it would explain why he can ignore Fluer positioning herself all over him so well. As for Spike... he DOES like a lot of pink frills and heart adorned aprons...   (totally not being serious, just rolling with the stereotypical humor being made fun of here)

That was ... strange.

Why do I hear Butters voice repeating 'bi-curious' over and over and over and over and-

I feel offended, but I shall track!

Trollestia! I shall keep mah eye on you!

>>15389161538916 Am sorry and i mean offence by this and am without a doubt nto mad infact am laughing about this...but this isnt JUST a Romance...its a romance comedy...with a troll/molester Celestia so just to state this you silly thing you ITS A FRIGGIN JOKE ...and of corse shes just having her fun with them. as stated before Shining armor been pranked by Celestia (and posibly Luna) before and waking up in a forest apperently is normal for Tia to do as a prank! in otherwords this a GIANT TROLLISH EFFERT and by far this is a very good one i think. Anywho ignore me or not its up to you but just putting it out there!

Brillitent work!

May gentle winds keep you from harms way, and may a smile keep you warm from Sarrow's cold.  

>>15391791539179 No...she didnt forget...I think shes saving her for personal alone time AM NOT TADDALING I SWEAR!

Interesting, this is a little weird but it sounds good. Interested in seeing where this goes.

>>15326281532628 You are mad! A mad genious!

I am definitely keeping my eyes on this.

this is easily the most original idea on here in a long time. A straight camp....how funny is that, and the fact you had the boys involved is even better. This is great and super funny too. I can not wait for more

.>>15383701538370

The internet will have its shipping.  If the show doesn't have romance, fans will add it.  Much for the same reason we have a show about happy, pastel, talking ponies and yet people feel the need to write tons of dark fics.

As to the gender pairings, shipping tends to happen with the most popular and well developed (including fanon developed) characters.  FiM is almost entirely female, especially in season 1, and male characters are frequently flawed, undesirable in some way, while the female ones usually are not.  And while lesbian pairings may be more socially acceptable than gay ones, I'm sure if you hit up the fandom for a male dominated show, you'd see your share of gay pairings.  Supernatural, for example, likes to poke fun at the whole "the brothers are gay for each other" thing in their meta-episodes.

>>15388601538860 It's not a trollfic unless the reader is trolled.

>>15387931538793 >>15388511538851 Well Celestia is obviously gay or Bi and wouldn't mind doing Twilight. She just wants to mess with them beforehand. There isn't any hate for gay in this fic, she is just making fun of them and used the coincidential fact that they are all gay for that.

>>15390951539095 No antigayness there.

>>15391791539179 No, Celestia is simply totally sure that Twilight is straight already.

I think they don't get it because Celestia is a thousands of years old Demigoddess. She is simply THAT good an actor. Every line is spoken with all the authority and conviction of the God-Empress of Ponykind. And the Mane Six never heard about Trollestia and or any Banana bags and Moon Cannons.

Conversion camps aren't funny, not even with ponies. Thumbs down.

>>15383241538324>>15392921539292

A good catch.  That is actually how the fic was born.  I watched But I'm a Cheerleader for the first time a few months ago, and thought "I could do the same thing... with ponies!"  Not that I'm going to follow the plot of that movie.

>>15390001539000

Please don't make me delete comments, calling your fellow brony an idiot isn't cool.  Stick to criticisms of people's opinions please.

>>15387931538793

Yeah I sort of expected someone to react that way.  The fact is, I see a lot of horrible things in this world.  And the only way I've managed to succeed in coping with them is by laughing at them.  Sometimes I have to distort the actual situation until it becomes ridiculous before I can laugh, but in the end I feel if I've managed to laugh then it no longer holds any power over me.  And that's what I'm doing here, trying to share my laughter a little.

finally

Image: http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTKssuNtX23Yo-rxsCA4s3jBTZIU0BgapGA4ImYhbGFlDtNpnhLHSd3TT4H

>>15396141539614 Uh, pulled a Pinkie Pie here... The haters very probably didn't understand what's going on.

>>15326281532628

OMIGOD YEEEEEEEEEES

>>15373831537383 Ive seen braeburn shipped with everybody.

>>15396141539614

No, I'm not agreeing to that. Not as a Brony, not as a literary critic.

If he had said it almost any other way, I'd let it slide, but it's become far too bothersome for authors here to write even fanon characters, like Lyra and Bon-Bon, without being called out about how they're OoC. They HAVE no character, none established.

Celestia's only established character is pretty canonically awful. Fanon shipping doesn't counter that, nor should it.

It's just as, if not more stupid, than hating every ship that conflicts with your OTP automatically. "I'm sorry, this was an amazing story, but you shouldn't have written it because it's Twi Dash and what's Luna and Pinkie Pie going to do now, huh? Tragic. I bet you didn't even think of their feelings."

I'm liking this so far.

>>15326281532628 Forgive me if I jump to a sudden conclusion all too fast, but I haven't read this and so far it kind of looks like Princess Molestia. But I will still be giving you a like and a favorite.

>>15394221539422 it's just my opinion. I am not fond of any kind of Anti-Celestia-isum, even if it's intend to be harmless. the fact Celestia is treated like this in fandom just, disappoints me.

Best I've read in a while.

Because the Elements of Harmony don't work for fags

Lolololololololol

Lol

>>15396141539614

Haha, too cool! That movie came out so long ago, I'm glad to hear it's still making folks laugh today. Your plot bunny was well inspired, I'm looking forward to what you have up your sleeve for this one.

>>15390901539090

Huh... I hadn't even thought of that. I was thinking some of the reactions didn't seem to fit the obvious context but I figured it was for the sake of humor, not trolling Twilight. Hmmm.... HHMMMMMM! You may be on to something here. Either way, it's hilarious.

>>15390791539079 >>15391461539146

I enjoyed y'alls conversation there, was pretty funny. I can see Rainbow going either way myself. Though I have to say, even if she was as straight as a flag pole she'd still be gay for Spitfire.

Oh, fuck yes.

I'm... not sure how to feel about this.

>>15396141539614 Yeah, I know. Seems just a bit tactless of her to flat-out say those things. Made it seem kind of out of character to me as well, which is kind of why it felt less in the spirit of humor, if you get what I mean.

“Because the Elements of Harmony don’t work for fags"

I think I laughed more than should

By the end of this Celestia will realize she's gay, and so will Iron Will.

“Because the Elements of Harmony don’t work for fags. I've got to set each of you straight or Equestria is doomed.”

What the fuck is this logic?