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This is not a clop fic.

Twilight Sparkle and her friends awaken to find themselves far from home, being held captive by their ruler.  Princess Celestia insists that the fate of Equestria rests upon their treatment, but it quickly becomes apparent that her motives might be very different than what she claims.

Mysteries abound, but can our heroines survive the horror that is... Straight Camp?!

Now with TVTropes page!

  • I · 10th Nov 2012
  • II · 21st Nov 2012
  • III · 1st Jan 2013
  • IV · 26th Feb 2013
  • V · 27th Mar 2013
  • VI · 3rd Apr 2013
  • Save Chapter Order
  • Complete
    65,837 words total
First Published
31st Oct 2012
Last Modified
3rd Apr 2013
#1 · 199w, 1d ago · · · I ·

Hello Fimfiction.  First time author here to bring you an idea that's been stewing in my head for some time.  Feedback is welcome of course, and special thanks to my editor SerenityViewer.

#2 · 199w, 1d ago · · · I ·

*Looks at description* This could be really good or absolutely terrible.

*Dives in*

Edit: That was...creepy. I have no other words than that.

#3 · 199w, 1d ago · · · I ·

Vary good. Loved refrences. Yet, ive only seen Shinign Armor shipped with Cadence who transofmred in to a stallion, and in a WTF fic, Blueblood. Soarin, only seen him shipped with Braeburn. FancyPants i have no idea what stallion he was shipped with. Spike, only seen with Snails and Snips, in a preetty cool fic, minus that pairing. Big Mac, i know hes been shipped with Caramel. Still good, keep it up! :pinkiehappy: :pinkiehappy:

#4 · 199w, 1d ago · · · I ·

Iron Will has a plan, to make you a man!

Not bad, not bad at all. Please continue.


#5 · 199w, 1d ago · 3 · · I ·

So the stallions (and male dragon) are with a male coach...

and the mares are with a female coach.


#6 · 199w, 23h ago · · · I ·

Um, more? :twilightsheepish:

#7 · 199w, 23h ago · · · I ·


It's on the way.

#8 · 199w, 21h ago · · · I ·

This sounds like a pretty messed up scenario ...

... read it ...

... i was right :pinkiehappy:

#9 · 199w, 21h ago · · · I ·

I don't know why this was featured with only 12 likes, no offense, just odd.  But it was fun and the idea to send everyone to straight camp is silly enough to enjoy.

#10 · 199w, 21h ago · · · I ·

It's just... so freaking bizarre. Not that that is a criticism.

And why did Fluttershy need to feel Twilight up? Did that add, well, anything to the story at all, other than making me want to throw it off a bridge there and then?

#11 · 199w, 21h ago · · · I ·

>>1538214 And some spam.....

Though on the story :moustache:

#12 · 199w, 21h ago · · · I ·

This is relevant to my interests. +1 & Fav.

#13 · 199w, 21h ago · 3 · · I ·

Equestria Science would like to remind you that pony hell is a real place, and that you will be sent there at the first sign of defiance!

#14 · 199w, 21h ago · 3 · · I ·

The notion that the main 6 is entirely gay is ridiculous.

Rarity's clearly bisexual.

#15 · 199w, 21h ago · · · I ·

Question: How come no one brought up the fact that the Elements of Harmony worked well enough for the 'fags' as Celestia put it before? That seems like a pretty large plot hole that completely invalidates Celestias reasons for being there.:rainbowhuh:

#16 · 199w, 21h ago · · · I ·

Someone watched But I Am A Cheerleader lately.

#17 · 199w, 21h ago · · · I ·

>>1537383 I saw Armor also with Big Mac, Soarin sometimes with Caramel and Big Mac with Blues or Hoity Toity. So there are evidences for that 3. But i really have no idea about Fancy or Spike. Never saw them with another Guy before.

#18 · 199w, 20h ago · · · I ·

I wasn't sure about this at first. But the end sold me. A+!

#19 · 199w, 20h ago · 1 · 1 · I ·

I'd watch, but I despise inter-Mane Six shipping. Why ruin perfectly good friendships by bringing romance into it? People say they're so close, romance is only natural. What crap. I bet any guy who was asked that would balk, but because its females it makes perfect sense.

#20 · 199w, 20h ago · 2 · · I ·

Why do I get the feeling celestia isn't trying to change their sexuality at all....Oh and points to you for protective Dash:rainbowkiss:

#21 · 199w, 20h ago · · · I ·

Poor Twilight gets a night with molestia! :trollestia:

#22 · 199w, 20h ago · · · I ·

I confess that when I read 'straight camp' I was really thinking of the other kind of 'camp'. But that's okay, cause Celestia's got both covered :pinkiehappy:

#23 · 199w, 20h ago · · · I ·

Trollestia's on a rampage!

#24 · 199w, 19h ago · · · I ·

You heard that sound? That was me rolling on the floor with laughter at the "gay capital of Equestria" :rainbowlaugh:

I give you one Spike and three Pinkie smiles: :moustache::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:


#25 · 199w, 19h ago · · · I ·

This premise is just way too fun to pass up.

Very tracked!


#26 · 199w, 19h ago · · · I ·

Welp, I'm offended. :ajbemused:

#27 · 199w, 19h ago · · · I ·

I'm not good with incomplete fics (I forget everything), but I HAVE to read this now. Here I go! :rainbowdetermined2:

#28 · 199w, 19h ago · · · I ·

>>1538319 Because there is no such thing. Celestia is just fucking with them. It's really obvious when she said Twilight was straight, it's nearly stated when Shining Armor says he thinks his Boss is pranking him AGAIN, and it's Cemented with that last scene.

This fic is my new favorite Trollestia fic.

#29 · 199w, 18h ago · · · I ·

Well that was... Interesting... :unsuresweetie:

#30 · 199w, 18h ago · · · I ·


This man has it right.

Trollestia :trollestia: be trolling.

EDIT: Molestia be molesting?

#31 · 199w, 18h ago · · · I ·

Oh...oh my...This could either be really fun, or really uncomfortable... So far it's on the fun side.:pinkiehappy:

#32 · 199w, 18h ago · · · I ·


"Every pony in this town is FABULOUS!"

#33 · 199w, 18h ago · · · I ·

This is all sorts of brilliant! Take my like and my favorite good sir! Very funny. Crazy Celestia is best Celestia!

#34 · 199w, 18h ago · · · I ·

>>1538319  Except for the fact that this is an absurdist comedy and therefore doesn't exactly plan on making much sense to begin with.  :raritywink:

That being said, Spike is clearly not gay considering he can't wait until he's a teenage dragon because he wants to do Rarity until she passes out (HIS OWN WORDS!!  I GOT HIM ON CAMERA!!).  I've been blackmailing him for a year now.  :trixieshiftright:

#35 · 199w, 18h ago · · · I ·

PS:  Discord is also gay.  :trollestia:

#36 · 199w, 18h ago · · · I ·


Kaaaay...how exactly does it count as blackmailing him if you're telling everyone anyway?

#37 · 199w, 18h ago · · · I ·

“Because the Elements of Harmony don’t work for fags. I’ve got to set each of you straight or Equestria is doomed.”

Oh dear god, that one sentence... it's so damn beautiful. Words cannot begin to describe the plethora of... of... FEELS, I have now. This has been liked, favorite'd and just generally praised.

"Then The Dude Man Bro said: 'LET THERE BE AN AWESOME STORY!' And The Dude Man Bro saw that the fic was good, and he put it in the feature box."

-Bob Marley

#38 · 199w, 18h ago · · 1 · I ·

I'm not going to try to hide it. I was horribly put off by two lines written in the story.

“Because the Elements of Harmony don’t work for fags. I’ve got to set each of you straight or Equestria is doomed.”

“And it is. And there isn’t. For mares anyway. Gay stallions go to Pony Hell, Rarity. In my wisdom as Princess, I decreed this long ago.”

I realize that you're probably playing this more for some sort of Trollestia comedy and not in fact as some sort of anti-homosexual propaganda, but this all comes off as just thinly veiled 'I hate homosexuals'. I mean, not only are those two lines mildly troublesome, but they are practically out of character. Even if Celestia was simply trolling, she still has some tact.

In short, yes my jimmies are rustled, but I am warily tracking this.

#39 · 199w, 18h ago · · · I ·

I understand that the elements are all lesbein but I have a hard time imagining all of the men being gay. Spike has a crush on rarity, Fancy Pants has a trophy wife, Big Mac is engaged to Cheeralee, Shining Aurmor is married and he is not hiding anything, the only pony I have no good excuse for is Sorin, unless his pie is a man, then this will be a good lesson for him.:pinkiehappy:


PS: I love this story, you get-

A favorite,

A like

5 out of 5 of these:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

#40 · 199w, 18h ago · · · I ·


#41 · 199w, 18h ago · · · I ·

>>1538757  He's out of money.  So now I'm just going to humiliate him.  :trollestia:

#42 · 199w, 18h ago · · · I ·

I'd imagine the "Pony Hell" comment is satire.

#43 · 199w, 17h ago · · · I ·

Okay, this was great. I don't get one thing though, twilight clearly has a hard horn for celestia yet she's uncomfortable being in the same bed. Well alright fair enough, you didn't state who it was awkward for but it implied it was twilight, could you elaborate more? Like is she trying to live up to her mentor's expectations despite her horn?

this is great stuff

#44 · 199w, 17h ago · · · I ·


...Did I just read!?

#45 · 199w, 17h ago · · · I ·

Well, there goes my Twi/Rar/Cel/Bon/Tavi/Granny/Scoots/Zicora/Dash/Shy/Lyra/Scratch/Mayor/Luna/Sweetie/Pinkie/AJ/Cadance/Cry/Applebloom shipfic out the window...

*sighs sadly stuffing shamesock back under the mattress* :pinkiesad2:

#46 · 199w, 17h ago · · · I ·

:trollestia: Trollestia strikes again :trollestia:

I totally lost it when Iron Will showed up.

I've always imagine that Shinning was out of the gay group, since he is actually married in canon, but you made your point about the married part, I can't wait to see the "evidence" for him, or Mac, or Soarin'

#47 · 199w, 17h ago · · · I ·

i never seen Celestia anti-gay before, exspically, because of, oh i don't know, this?!

Seriously, if your gonna make Celestia anti-gay, make sure there is no known gay shippings with her!

and sadly, i might not read this cause it foul mouths the good princess.

#48 · 199w, 17h ago · · · I ·

wat :twilightoops:

#49 · 199w, 17h ago · · · I ·

I like to think theres two universes with the mane six.

First the universe of the show

Second, the universe of the fanfiction where they are all gay

So I see this as the fanfiction universe mane six getting treated by the show universe Celestia :rainbowlaugh:

#50 · 199w, 17h ago · 1 · 2 · I ·


1) Ponies are more tolerant than humans

2) Girls are more open and understanding about it than guys, who see it as a big machoness issue

3) In a world like Equestria gender wouldn't matter nearly as much: In utopia, love is love.

4) It's adorable.

5) No, seriously, it can be really friggin' cute.

6) It's a female dominated universe. In China there are a lot more guys than girls and, guess what? Homosexuality spikes accordingly.

7) You are entitled to your very wrong opinion.


You're an idiot.

No story would ever be written, ever, here if it wasn't allowed to contradict other fanon.

That's right fanon.

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