Enjoy.

tl;dr well not all of it

Well, I enjoyed most of it. The descriptions were vivid and highly detailed, but that was also a downfall. It detracted from the horror, not letting the tension build up as well as it could've done. Horror, and I understand your inexperience with it, must have a certain degree of this tension building. To me, not much was very surprising, aside from the last couple of paragraphs. In essence, there was just too much description. Focus on the horror aspects more, like the chase between Twilight and the Faceless One (was that a Skullduggery Pleasant reference there, by the way?), instead of just how dark and horrible everything looked. The device was also something to note. For one, where did it come from? What did it do, and how did Twilight know that? The whole mention of the device seems a bit rushed, and the purpose of it isn't even given until near the end.

If I could sum up the improvements needed in one sentence, it would be to focus on the matter at hand. Yes, those walls and corridors may be fairly decrepit, but, then again, there is a grotesque monster following Twilight at the same time. You just need to get your priorities straight. Otherwise, this was a good read. Well done!

I rather enjoy this.  That ending was brutal.

Now that was creepy incarnate.

That was engrossing and beautiful. Kind of got slow around the ending when the monster started attacking her. I was hoping/expecting Celestia to bail her out at the end since they called her.

Wow, it's great to see the story finally out!

Wooee, I agree with the the above sentiments.  It's one of the best mood pieces in my opinion.  Creepy, chilling, and oh dear Celestia the ending! Definitely deserves a thumbs up.

>>15459291545929

Bout time, right?

But... but wait.

Wait.

But!

That was good. And you're a dick.

Poor Twi.

>>15463601546360

Heh heh, yep!  Now here's hoping that some other awesome stories I did some covers for will be release in the near future.   My DA watchers are kinda flummoxed that I'm doing covers with no stories attached to them.