• Member Since 18th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

Jade Ring


The purpose of a story is that it's a story. It can be more, but it can never be less.

Sequels1

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Source

Something evil has found Ponyville. The town's children are disappearing, each disappearance preceded by a dream of an impossibly thin stallion.

When somepony she loves is the next to vanish, one young farmer must venture into the forest to find her. Once there, she will encounter an ancient force. It is powerful. It is terrifying.

It is hungry.

Amazing cover-art by the equally amazing Swirling Line. (She's also doing a stellar comic adaptation. Stay tuned!)

[img]http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/298/7/d/slender_fanart_by_queenchoconator-d6rrnvh.png[/img]
Cool bit of fan art by Timey-Wimey

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 71 )

Well damn. This was an excellently crafted horror fic. Keep up the good work I say!

This is delicious. /mbison
All to be said.

I seriously pissed my pants in here.

Definitely well written.

That was a good ending. THUMBS UP!! Slenderman is pleased.

Alright, alright...I have to curse here.
FUCKING BEAUTIFUL!!!
You are the first writer that I have seen to portray Slender into to what he truly is: Mysterious, Fear-inducing, and Scary as FUCK!
By far the best Slender story I have read, despite being a little over 2000 words long. My only qualm is that AJ died, but hey, that's Slender for you. He doesn't descriminate.

Here, have all of my moustaches.
:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:
:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:
:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:
:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

:eeyup: <i feel most sorry for big mac. lost both his sisters and grany smith

5/5 good job! :twilightsmile:

Well, this is something right here. A well crafted piece, my friend.

OH MY GLOB, FUCKING SCARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:raritydespair:

Pretty darn good. I would have enjoyed a happy ending though, I love AppleJack way too much to see her die like that. :ajsleepy:

On a side note, I also wish you had done the chase scene a bit differently. AppleJack is tougher than that. She didn't even try to maintain composure and fight her fear. AJ would never let fear get the best of her like that. :ajbemused:

Plus, even if she was exhausted on the verg of death, I don't believe she would have gone down without a good old fashion brawl.

Wow, man. Just...wow. This is really great and creepy. Just in time for Nightmare Night. Squeee! :pinkiehappy:

Take my moustaches. :moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache:

That was really good, could be longer and more detailed but it was good over all. 5/5
Had chills running down my back the whole story.

*Before reading*
Ugh... ANOTHER Slendermane fic? This is gonna suck. :ajbemused:

*After reading*
Damn! This was actually pretty good. Mad props to you for taking an overused concept and making it something very chilling and fun to read. :pinkiecrazy:

My only complaint is Applejack was a TEENY tiny out of character when being chased by Slender. She's tougher than you implied her to be and wouldn't let herself be that scared that easily.

All in all, it's still a great fic! 4/5 Moustaches :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

Rather excellent, with just the right amount of horror befitting a Slender Man story.

???

made him sound like a weeping angel

1528327 One does not brawl with the Slender One.

In all seriousness though, I'm chalking up AJ's character in this to both mental and physical exhaustion. As I've said before, the sisterly bond between AJ and AB is one of the best. If anything happened to the silly little filly, it would be AJ who would take it hardest (minus Granny Smith.) With Applebloom gone, AJ wouldn't be in the right state of mind.

Combine that with the pounding noise, the images put in her head by Granny Smith, the picture on the tree, the loss of her father's hat, etc. she'd be pretty near the breaking point. Combine THAT with the exhaustion she must be feeling from wandering in the woods for Luna-knows how long AND sprinting as hard and fast as she could from an unseen evil... Yeah. I think anyone in that position would just be past fighting.

Plus, it's a good old fashioned horror story. It's gotta end with a scream of terror, not a roar of defiance.

1529375 Hee hee hee... Kinda what I was going for.

Good... Good... That wasssssss a good sssstory...
But, too bad Sssssslender doessssn't ssscare me anymore...
Heh... I musssst me be off... Time for adventuressssss...
*Hiss* Have a nicssssse Halloween... Reply if you want...
I'll be waiting... Hesss Hesss Hesss...

well hell, this was great.

have some derpy for a job well done.:derpyderp2::derpyderp1::derpytongue2::derpyderp2::derpyderp2:

SCP-173 will only move if not in a direct line of sight.

1531873 It attacks by snapping at the base of the neck.

1531889
Two personnel must maintain eye contact with the SCP at all times.

1531903 "Send in the class Ds."

Looks like tonight i wont be sleeping, but i know that's what you were going for.

holy shit you made me pis my fuckin pants and i dod get scared very much :fluttercry:

i am blown away. that was fantastic and scary I fell bad for pony vile :fluttercry:

Holy crap, My heart was pounding, but i could chalk that up to listening to the music from the gaem when you have 7 pages, it fits well, too bad for Big Mac though, all of his family is gone, having died a horrible death :fluttercry: :applecry: :raritydespair:

Holy buck. :pinkiegasp:

The horror fic. Doing it right, you are.

She blinked and it was there, standing just beyond the forest boundary.
She blinked, and it was out of the forest.
She blinked, and it was in the south field.
She blinked, and it was in the garden.
She blinked, and it was at the porch steps.
She blinked.

:rainbowhuh:?
*5 seconds later*
:pinkiegasp::raritycry:

Woah! Make more, I love this.:raritystarry:

YOU KILLED MY APPLES!!!
DR. WHOOVES!!!
ANTHROPONY CHUCK NORRIS!!!
...
...
We have an eldritch abomination to kill...:twilightangry2:


(Like and favorite).

Man, that was a freakin' awesome scary fic!
LOVE IT!:twilightsmile:

It would be funny if slender pony just took them to a never ending party of fun.

Holy CRAP that was scary! :rainbowderp: Well, I'm not sleeping tonight! :moustache:

Dinky Hooves was the first to disappear.

NOOOO! Not Dinky!

One week later, Rarity’s parents burst into their eldest daughter’s home in hysterics; Sweetie Belle had received the same dream.

:flutterrage: SLENDERMANE MUST DIE!!!

Perhaps he didn't kill them and he just took them to a magical place in the forest!:pinkiegasp::raritystarry::twilightoops::facehoof:

Slenderman is one of the most amazing, imaginative creatures to ever be thought up. Slendermane is equally as terrifying. This story is short but sweet, dark and amazing! Loved it. :twilightsmile:

Okay, I enjoyed this story for what it was, but I have to say.

Applejack gulped. “What… what does it eat?”
“Fear. It feeds on fear. And children.”

The delivery here made me laugh out loud. Because it was so tacked on.

It came across as:

"It feeds on fears. Also babies. But mostly that other thing." :trollestia:

Regardless, entertaining story.

So, it looks like our fic has the same name.:twilightsheepish:

2437907 'tis to be expected. It's a common enough title for stories such as this.

Now that was something. :pinkiesmile:

Wow. I'll be honest. The bit with Granny Smith at the end sent shivers up my spine. I don't think it could have rightly ended any better way.

Very good stuff. And great cover art too! :raritywink:

I've been reading some Slender style stories on this site lately and this is the first one I've commented on. This was incredible for a story that was just over 2,000 words.

The opening narrative setting up foals disappearing and the consequences set up the story in a good way. I literally got a shiver when Applejack was reading the note in the forest. That was great imagery and I could imagine it perfectly, very frightening.

The ending was my favorite of any story I've read about Slender yet. Granny Smith took it like a pro.

I went into this thinking I'm not going to get much for the word count, but I've read plenty of stories that just throw in fluff and nonsense. This story didn't mess around. Very nice job.

2782311 Stephen King's 'On Writing' is my biggest influence on my writing style, and the first lesson King teaches is to cut out unnecessary language.

How did Granny escape all those years ago?:trixieshiftright:
Also: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMgbfFpXZu0
listened to this throughout.

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