I'm guilty.
Its true, and its hardly befitting the way a Princess of Equestria should feel. After all, my only sister is finally back. I should be happy. Overjoyed, even. But the truth is, as much as I love her, I was secretly happy when I sent her to the moon. And that makes me a bad sister.
------
Join Celestia on her emotional turmoil as she spends 1000 years without luna.
A tale of how thousands of years of sisterhood all came crashing down.
------
This is my first fanfiction. I hope you guys like it! Feel free to leave comments!
Chapters (1)
Hmm. Interesting take on it.
You attracted my attention merely by having some decent Celestia coverart. I am a shamefully enthusiastic Tia fanboy. Anyway, you asked for comments, so here's some:
I don't really have many grammar issues to gripe about, which is surprising seeing as this your first fic. I've still got some, though, because I am never satisfied, but this was competently written overall. Props for that.
I think you overused BBCode: I was numb to the effects of a switch to bold, underlined, strike or italics by the end of this. I would deeply suggest cutting down on most of them and saving them for when they're needed. It's a bit like being in a Michael Bay movie: there's just too many explosions for a single one to have much impact. One line in bold would've had more of an effect that having the entire fic full of them.
There's two other things to bring up, though. The first is Celestia's characterisation in this. It's difficult to connect the cake-loving, sun-raising princess from the show with the vengeful, bitter and needy Celestia portrayed here -- perhaps intentionally, after having read your ending comment. There's a difference between showing a different side to a character and warping them past recognition: I'd have expected a bitter Celestia to be a bit more subtle and passive about it. Offhand remarks and hints at true feelings would have served you better here.
The second is the type of writing you chose to approach this with: telling. I'm not going to launch off into a rant about Show vs. Tell, mainly because having a blanket ban on it's wrong, but trying to use telling is not something you should be doing on your first fic. You really need to be a god-level author to tell correctly; you have to know exactly what you're trying to say and how to pack a world's worth of meaning into a single sentence. This story doesn't manage that; it feels, to me at least, rushed and insubstantial. You could've achieved much of the same effect as what you were aiming for by having a few choice scenes showing each emotion and decision, rather than giving us access to Celestia's inner thoughts.
I will make mention, though, that Celestia's reasoning in parts was both logical and inspired. The reasoning behind her actions with the elements of harmony was a highlight of this to me. Her choice of residing on a castle built into a mountain was also well played. I just feel that it could have had a far greater impact had we not known if Celestia was doing it on purpose; if the reader had been made to work it out rather than being given access to the information immediately.
An example would be Celestia's reaction to Luna's return, here. To me, it felt like Celestia was confused because, in her mind, she'd built Luna up into this monstrous figure, one that didn't correspond with the reality of the situation. Except, that's only my opinion. It may be wrong. And because of that, that uncertainty in opinion, the story is so much richer and deeper. More like this, please.
Ok, and onto an unusually scant grammar rant:
>We would be equal, even though she was the younger. Even though I was the wiser.
Whilst not wrong, this feels awkward to me. You're treating adjectives as nouns, which is why it comes off as mildly stilted. You can get away with it for stylistic purposes, but that's usually only when you have an implied noun for them to latch onto.
So, yeah, that bugs me dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png
>wondering where their northern guide had went
That 'went' would work better as 'gone'.
>I wanted to be loved - for being myself,
Hyphen, pls go. You want an en dash here, aka one of these '–'. Hyphens are only used in compound words and stuttering.
>Once our curse- or gift, if that’s how you see it, was thrust upon us, we grew so far apart.
You open the parenthesis (bit in bold) with a
hyphendash, and so should close it with a dash.>over me , great empathy and love for a being so similar
Watch out for accidentally extending your underlining; BBCode treats spaces as being part of the section included in the code.
And that's that. I have no idea how you'll respond to this, author, but either way, congratulations. This was an excellently done first story. Have a green thumb for it.
Very, very good and challenging story that takes the character of Celestia and turns her upside-down and inside-out but yet never goes OOC. I particularly like the jumps between text formatting that greatly adds to the teeth-grinding feel of the mental dialogue of a mare slowly going insane that fills this story.
I. LOVE. IT.
I hope this gets featured! 
I have nothing else to say really. This was a nice little story.
We need more Celestia fics like this.
An excellent story. I shall be watching for others.
1522141
Hi there! I'm glad you liked my cover pic and fic.
Thanks for looking over my grammar. Other then the younger/older issue (which I'm not thinking of editing because it takes the edge off the way Celestia speaks) I've fixed the rest.
With regards to the BBCode: I'm quite satisfied with it in overall, but I'm planning to look it over again without any formatting and see whether there are any places that can do without it. The idea I had was to portray the fic in a visual manner as well, so the formatting jumps were necessary.
Celestia may seem kind and loving, but the fact remains that no one knows what is really going through her head. The aim of this fic is to look through one of the many possible thought processes that she might have over the 1000 years. I wasn't aiming for a total warp of her personality, but rather a possible darker side to Celestia.
I'm having a hard time figuring out how to show but not tell in a fic where celestia plays the narrator. I'll look through it again and mull over it a bit to see if there is anything I can change accordingly.
I know that this is a rather hard perspective for a new writer to do. Can you direct me to any of the god-level authors you mentioned? I'd love to read their stories and try to see how i can improve!
Thanks for the constructive feedback!
1522596
Thanks so much! I was aiming for that!
1523221 1525782 1533269
such nice words! Thank ya kindly!
There was something so hauntingly beautiful about this. Very nice work.
Fa-bu-lous~
You have earned a thumbs-up, a 
, and a follow