Chapter 3: Put to the Test
“I don’t think I’ve ever been to this part of the farm before,” Twilight Sparkle remarked, as they made their way through the orchards to a long, low building on the edge of the open fields. There was no sign of anypony around, aside from the crisscrossing hoofprints going every which way through the snow.
“Not too surprising,” Applejack said, crunching through the snow a few feet in front of her. “Something mighty confusing must’a happened if we use it more than once a year. Not much call for two dozen snow plows ‘cept during Winter Wrap Up.” Arriving at the building, she walked up to the door, and shoved it open a crack with her shoulder. “But we’ve gotta make sure they’re all in good shape, or we’ll be in a whole mess of trouble,” she said, as she walked into the darkness.
“And everypony’s here fixing them?” Twilight asked, a bit confused, as she followed Applejack into the dimly lit room. “I would have thought it more of – gah!” She cringed back, throwing up a foreleg to shade her eyes as the room suddenly lit up.
“SURPRISE!”
Once her vision cleared, Twilight could see that Applejack hadn’t lied about the building’s purpose – there were the snow plows, piled up against the far wall to clear out a space for the party. A few dozen earth ponies, most of whom she didn’t really know, were standing around grinning and staring at her. Off to the side was a snack table, and a banner overhead read ‘Celebration!’
Applejack stood aside as a pink and yellow earth pony broke from the crowd to hold out a hoof to Twilight. It was Cherry Berry, the new element of laughter; Twilight remembered that much but hadn’t really spent much time with her. She glanced down at the hoof and saw a joy buzzer strapped to it. “Um… hi?” Twilight said, lifting a hoof halfway, but finding herself quite unwilling to get zapped just for the sake of… whatever it was Cherry Berry was trying to accomplish here.
“Were you surprised?” Cherry Berry asked, holding out her hoof for another few seconds, before lowering it, as the rest of the farm ponies crowded around.
“Yes,” Twilight said, looking from face to face and trying to remember how to be social at events like this. Her memory betrayed her by replaying the scene from her first party in Ponyville, where she’d made a spectacle of herself drinking hot sauce and then hid in her room for the rest of the night. “Very surprised. What’s the occasion?”
“That you’re out of prison, back in Ponyville, and best of all that you get to be an earth pony!” Cherry Berry said.
“It’s just a ‘welcome to the plant team’ party,” Carrot Top said. “We’d be having a party anyway, for the Winter Wrap Up kickoff, but Cher Bear here figured we could –“
“Quiet, Topsy! You’re going to ruin it!” Cherry Berry said, smacking the orange-maned pony on the side of the head.
“To the plant team?” Twilight asked, frowning despite herself. “I suppose… that’s probably the best place for me to learn about how earth ponies do magic. Since our effect on plants is the most well-documented advantage over the other tribes.”
“Sorry, Sparkles,” Cherry Berry said. “Trixie got the organizer position this year.”
“Nopony even knew if you were going to be home in time for Winter Wrap Up,” Applejack added.
“Or at all,” said Daisy. “There were… stories. That you’d been turned into a statue and put in the Canterlot garden, right next to Discord.” Rose and Lily nodded.
“Stories you three started,” Applejack said under her breath.
“It’s funny,” Twilight said, smiling. “There actually is a statue of me in the gardens, although it isn’t kept anywhere near Discord’s. I brought a copy of myself out of a mirror, only it turned out to be an evil twin…” She trailed off as she realized everypony was staring at her in horror. Maybe exaggerating the danger of her magic wasn’t the way to go, here. “She wasn’t evil like that, though. Princess Celestia turned her to stone to keep her from fading away. She’s not actually being punished for anything.”
That turned the dead silence into uncomfortable murmuring, at least.
“I’ve got it!” Cherry Berry said suddenly, slapping Twilight on the shoulder with a bit more force than she was expecting when she saw the hoof coming for her. “I know what the occasion is!” She ran over to the punchbowl, and got herself a cup of punch. Holding it up on her hoof, she shouted, “Everypony! Everypony! A toast!” Hardly anypony else had drinks, but the ones who did held up their little paper cups. “To Twilight Sparkle, the earth pony! Who will no longer spirit ponies away to the moon, convince hordes of parasprites to devour our homes, or give our little fillies moustaches! And most importantly, who will never, ever, ever again mind-control any of us fall to love with Rainbow Dash!”
There was a bit of chuckling, and somepony asked, “What if I want to fall in love with Rainbow Dash?”
“Then you’ll have to get a love potion from Zecora,” Cherry Berry responded, getting a laugh. “Or Applebloom.” That got a bigger laugh – even Twilight had to chuckle a bit, although she stifled it when she saw the look on Applejack’s face. “So, a toast, to Twilight Sparkle, defanged!”
Cherry Berry downed her punch, and the other ponies followed suit, although a couple of them looked at Twilight nervously. Twilight smiled back at them. Sure, it sounded like Cherry Berry was insulting her, but all she was really saying were the same things Twilight had been thinking when the Elements of Harmony hit her, so there was no reason to be angry. Stop twitching, ear. And now everypony standing next to her was staring and backing away, so she probably had a huge, frightening grin on her face.
“Fine,” she said quietly, since she didn’t really want to make any more of a scene than she *apparently* had to. “I’m angry. Luckily, I’ve been defanged, so you have nothing to worry about, at least until I figure out how to use earth pony magic.”
“Then maybe you shouldn’t,” Carrot Top said. “What’s so special about you that you have to be ‘magic’? Can’t you just be a grass-loving earth pony like the rest of us?”
“What?” Twilight said, taking a step back. “B-but –“ Her thoughts were swirling. Was that what she was doing? Just trying to show off because she was desperate to be special? “My cutie mark…” No no no no no, that was as much as admitting it. “Shut up!” Yes. Smooth. Why not follow it up by hitting her in the face?
Twilight didn’t hit anypony in the face. She squinted her eyes shut, but it failed to hold in her tears.
“Oh, ponyfeathers,” Carrot Top said. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“How the hay did you think she was gonna take it?” Applejack snapped. “Twi –“
“Normal,” Twilight said, planting her hooves and lashing her tail back and forth. “I think that’s what I thought I wanted. Wish granted. But no, I can’t be normal. I’m Twilight-freaking-Sparkle –“
“Uh oh,” Cherry Berry said, from over near the punchbowl. “I think she’s freaking.”
“I’m sorry, Applejack, I can’t do this,” Twilight croaked, turning to look at her horrified friend. Out of the corner of her eye, as she turned, she spotted the boxes of cupcakes that she’d brought for everypony still sitting on her back, and it just made her twice as angry. “Have some freaking cupcakes!” she screamed, grabbing the top box in her teeth and flinging it at Cherry Berry with all her strength. It wasn’t aerodynamic enough to make it all the way, instead flying open and raining cupcakes on innocent ponies in between.
“Run for you lives!” Lily said, “She’s going to explode!” Rose and Daisy screamed and pushed through the crowd towards the corner of the room.
Twilight tossed the second box at Carrot Top, who ducked but still got showered with loose frosting and a couple of cupcakes that fell from the box as it opened in midair. Caramel, standing behind her, caught the rest of the box in the face, getting his whole front half splattered.
Her teeth closed over the last box, only to have Applejack bite down on the opposite corner. “thass enou’, sugakoo,” she said calmly. Twilight let go of the box, reared up on her hind legs, and brought her front hooves down on it, tearing it from Applejack’s grip and trampling it to the ground, the still-warm cupcakes inside squishing softly beneath the layer of cardboard. Applejack stared her in the eye, and asked “Are you done?”
Twilight’s eyes darted wildly about the room – at Cherry Berry, smirking smugly at her, at the flower girls hiding in the corner, and at everypony else, looking various shades of concerned and annoyed, depending mostly on how many cupcakes had landed on them. Nopony was hurt; nopony with half a brain was even scared. She’d completely lost control, and accomplished exactly nothing except to make herself look stupid.
“I should probably leave,” she said, curling her tail around her right rear ankle, her ears flat against her skull.
“Mmm… nah,” Applejack said. “That wouldn’t solve nothin’.”
“I’m really really embarrassed right now,” Twilight said, gritting her teeth.
“Well, ya should be,” Applejack said, laughing and putting a foreleg over Twilight’s shoulder. “Relax, sugar. It’ll be okay. Trust me.”
“This is the worst party ever,” Twilight said, closing her eyes and resting her head on Applejack’s shoulder.
“It’s about par for the course for Cherry Berry,” Applejack said, calmly, nuzzling her mane, then backing off to break the hug. “That filly sure tries hard, but she’s no Pinkie Pie.” Twilight frowned, not liking the thought of the new Elements of Harmony not getting along – hadn’t Trixie mentioned something about Rarity? Before she could follow that thought, Applejack planted a hoof on her chest, and gave her a little push. “Now, I reckon you better apologize to Caramel for covering him in cupcakes.” Twilight blinked, only to be prodded again. “Git!”
Twilight walked across the room to the cupcake-covered Caramel, the crowd parting before her, ponies on either side staring at her the whole way. Cherry Berry had latched onto the flower girls as her new target, at least – Twilight was calm again, for the moment, but she felt herself tense up just imagining Cherry Berry tossing another ‘joke’ her way. Fortunately, all she had to deal with were disapproving stares, and those she’d had practice with all her life, growing up in Canterlot. It was a short walk over to Caramel anyway, and then she could focus on him and ignore the ponies around her.
“Sorry,” Twilight said, watching in morbid fascination as Caramel tried to wipe himself clean and only managed to spread the frosting to new parts of his body. “Um… do you need any help?”
“Got a towel?” Caramel asked, helplessly staring at his hoof. He’d tried to wipe it off on the floor, and now it was covered in a mixture of frosting and dirt.
“At this point, you need a bath,” Twilight said, wincing. “Or a baby dragon. Spike could lick you clean in about five seconds. I don’t know where he keeps it, but he’s got a tongue that –“
“You can stop right there,” Caramel said, looking sick. “Ugh, I’m going to smell like frosting all day. My girlfriend will never let me hear the end of it.”
“Sorry,” Twilight said. “I was aiming for Carrot Top.”
“That’s not my name,” Carrot Top said, startling Twilight who hadn’t seen where she’d gotten off to. Apparently, she’d gone to get napkins, since she had a stack balanced on her back. “My parents named me Golden Harvest.”
“Yeah, but they thought you were going to grow up to grow corn, like them. You grow Carrots, and you’re orange,” Caramel said. “Ponies change their names when they get their cutie marks all the time.”
“I didn’t. Besides, carrot tops are green,” the pony apparently named Golden Harvest said. “And no, you can’t call me Carrot Bottom.”
“Well, I guess I can add ‘calling you by the wrong name’ to the long list of things I have to be sorry for today,” Twilight said.
“I’m sorry too,” Golden Harvest said, helping to wipe Caramel down with napkins held in her teeth. Twilight watched, bemused, then grabbed one and followed her lead. “I didn’t mean to make you angry, I just don’t understand why you think you can just waltz into being an earth pony and suddenly discover some hidden magical power that somehow none of us noticed in thousands of years…”
“Thtop thwirming!” Twilight said, through clenched teeth. She dropped the napkin on the pile. “Well, if it comes to that, magical power is my special talent. For a unicorn, finding new spells isn’t even that unusual – ponies who study magic are expected to find new uses for it, and not just retrace the works of past wizards. I don’t see why it would be any different for earth ponies.” She grabbed another napkin, and ducked under Caramel’s chin to wipe off his chest. “Stay still! I don’t want you getting any in my mane!”
Golden Harvest spat out another saturated napkin. “Earth ponies don’t do magic, though.”
“Wrong,” Twilight said, waiting to elaborate further until she was between napkins. “I think you do magic all the time, without realizing it. The most obvious manifestation is some ponies’ control over plants, but it could be a factor in all manner of vocations. I’d look particularly hard at anything that earth ponies do better than unicorns, when you’d think that even the simple levitation most unicorns are limited to would give an overwhelming advantage. Do you know of any pegasus bakers?”
Golden Harvest looked a little uncomfortable, so Twilight hurried on. “I know of unicorn bakers, and earth pony bakers, but I’ve never heard of a pegasus going into the culinary arts as a profession. It probably happens, but unlike the other tribes, their magic won’t help them there. They’d have no advantage over a griffon, or a mule.”
“My girlfriend cooks,” Caramel said. “And she’s a pegasus.”
“Huh,” Twilight said. That little data point was almost entirely irrelevant, but the last thing she needed was to turn the discussion into some sort of tribalist rant. So instead of calling it out as a fallacy, she shrugged and said, “That’s what I get for running my mouth off before actually researching my thought experiments. Still, there’s the plants – you can’t tell me that making an apple tree bloom in winter is natural, and I’ve seen Applejack do that one with my own eyes.”
“That’s, um,” Caramel said, looking down and scratching at the ground. “I shouldn’t say.”
“We’re going to give her the seed test, aren’t we?” Golden Harvest asked. “Hey, Applejack! We’re still going to do the seed test, right?”
“Seed test?” Twilight asked, ears perking up.
===
If nothing else, it improved the mood of the party. Twilight was led into the center of the room, flanked by Applejack and a suddenly grumpy Cherry Berry. The rest of the farm ponies circled around them, watching them with anticipation and murmuring amongst themselves.
“Ten bits says she can’t get it to work.”
“You’re on – talk about easy money!”
“What odds can I get on her blowing the roof off the building?”
“Farm is 3:1, her cutie mark has nothing to do with plants.”
“What are they talking about?” Twilight asked the ponies next to her. “Are they placing bets?”
“Don’t you pay them no mind,” Applejack said. “This is why I brought you here – to show you the secret of earth pony magic: There ain’t any.”
“Although there is a secret,” Cherry Berry said. “And magic is involved.”
“Now quiet down!” Applejack said loudly to the crowd, and the hubbub faded to a quiet whispering, and then finally to complete silence. “We’re all here to see whether this young pony, Twilight Sparkle, is worthy of intiation into the circle of earth pony farmers. But it won’t be us doing the judging – that’s up to the seed, and the earth!”
Twilight turned and stared at part of the crowd – there was something there, something that felt like magic. How was she feeling magic without a spell, or even a horn? “What’s there?” she asked.
“Earth pony brand magic earth,” Cherry Berry said. “Source of all cheap plant-magic tricks for more than a thousand years.”
“It’s the essence of Equestria, distilled,” Applejack said, as Caramel pushed a wheelbarrow towards them. Twilight tried not to stare at the pink spots of frosting still scattered here and there in his mane. “You can feel it. That’s good.”
“I can feel it,” Cherry Berry said. “Rainbow Dash could probably feel it.”
“Now, reach into the soil, and choose a clump that speaks to yer spirit,” Applejack said. “Normally, we’d say to let your ancestors guide your hooves, but honestly it don’t matter none, it’s all the same.”
Twilight stared at the pile of earth. It didn’t glow, it didn’t hum, it didn’t even make her hair stand on end like it was charged with frozen lightning. But at the same time, it glowed, and it hummed, and it made her hair stand on end. She reached into the pile, and scooped up a little clod of earth. It was cold, and wet, and smelled like dirt and rain. All of those times a hundred.
“Hey!” Applejack said, as Cherry Berry reached into the pile and picked up her own clod.
“As long as I’m going to be part of this circus, I might as well get a re-test out of it,” Cherry Berry said.
“It won’t change none. You know it never changes,” Applejack said.
The pink pony grinned. “I’m the Element of Laughter now, and wouldn’t that be a laugh – a thousand years of earth pony tradition broken by the Elements of Harmony. Hey – you should get re-tested, too.” Applejack snorted. “Unless you’re chicken,” Cherry Berry added. “Bok bok bok.”
“Fine,” Applejack said, scooping up a hoof-full. “Caramel, you’ve got the seeds?” He nodded. “Then get on with it!”
Caramel shook a single seed onto the clod of earth on Applejack’s hoof. “Now, the key is to not think about it too hard, but you’ve got to think about it a little,” Applejack said. “You’ve got to think about what it is, but not about what you want it to do.”
Twilight winced. “I’m still really bad at that.”
“Don’t worry none, everypony gets it eventually,” Applejack said. “The test isn’t whether you can do it, it’s what happens when you do. Now, watch,” she said, and her eyes unfocused a bit – and then her seed sprouted quickly into a small green plant. She let out her breath. “Yep, still a farm pony. ‘Course, I knew that, since I’ve been workin’ the fields for years since I got the damnfool Element.”
“Do me next,” Cherry Berry said, as Caramel was about to drop a seed on Twilight. He shrugged, and gave her the next seed instead. “Come on, come on,” Cherry chanted, “you can do this!” Sure enough the seed sprouted into a little green plant… but just as her eyes lit up and she started to grin, the plant turned black and shriveled up, turning to dust that scattered as she let out a heavy sigh. She stared balefully at the spot where it had been, and tossed her clod of dirt back onto the wheelbarrow. “Still a town pony, I guess.”
Twilight looked back over at Applejack’s green plant, which was no longer visibly growing, but still seemed to be healthy. “This is fascinating! I never would have guessed the earth ponies had a systematic method of determining which of them were more suited to farm labor now that Equestrian technology no longer requires everypony to work the fields. How come I never heard about this? Why didn’t you tell me, Applejack? This is exactly the kind of thing I’ve been looking for!”
“I’m tellin’ ya now,” Applejack said.
“You didn’t hear because it’s a secret,” Cherry Berry said. “I’m sure the unicorns and pegasi have their own stupid secret nonsense.”
“Actually, no, they don’t,” Twilight said. “Not like this. There are restricted spells, but everypony knows that there are restricted spells, and in most cases what the spells do.”
Cherry Berry just smirked. “Of course you don’t.”
“Don’t worry, we won’t force you to tell us the secrets of ancient Unicornia,” Applejack said, “but
you can’t tell nopony what you see here, Twi. I know you want to write some book about earth pony magic, but this can’t go in it.”
“What?” Twilight said, blinking. “You can’t be serious!”
“We’re trustin’ you with a secret, Twi,” Applejack said. “One only earth ponies are allowed to know. If you break that trust --” she shook her head, and grimaced. “We’ll have a problem.”
“Ugh,” Twilight said. “Ugh! I suppose I can use it as background and find some other way to pretend to discover the principles involved. If I have to.” She glanced at her hoof, which was getting tired from holding up the clod of dirt, and noticed that at some point Caramel had dropped a seed on it. “Right, so I think about the seed, but not about what I want to happen.” She stared at it. “Corn? No, it’s not quite the right shape. Corn isn’t pointed on both ends. It’s the same color as – AIIIIIEEEE!”
Twilight screamed as her hoof suddenly burst into flame, waved it around trying to put it out, and when that didn’t work, plunged it into the convenient wheelbarrow of dirt right in front of her to smother it. She realized her mistake a second too late, as the magical essence not-glowing in front of her didn’t-glow brighter, and didn’t blister her skin and singe her mane…
It really did explode, though – a soft ‘whump’ of magical force that tossed her across the room, into the crowd of ponies already trying to flee. She hung onto somepony’s neck with her good foreleg, and watched in horrified fascination as flames shot into the air, burning a hole in the roof.
“So… what kind of pony does that make me,” she tried to say, realizing that she couldn’t hear herself talking, or anypony else for that matter – just a numb ringing. She could tell it was something scary, from the way the ponies nearest her started fleeing from her instead of from the ongoing disaster in the center of the room. In addition to the magical pillar of fire, ordinary fire was starting to spread across the rafters.
She slumped to the ground as the pony she’d been clinging to managed to detach her, and tried to focus on staying awake. Nothing good could come of passing out in a burning building. She suddenly woke up from a fuzzy daydream about building a wall of wakefulness out of green glass bricks to realize that somepony was dragging her by her tail… then woke up again from a fuzzy daydream about building a travois out of foals’ toys as she was plunged into the snow. But after the initial shock, the cold of the snow sliding against her back was relaxing, and she let herself drift off to sleep.
===
Twilight woke up to a nice warm bed, a soft pillow under her head, and something cold and wet and heavy being pressed into her forehead. She opened her eyes to find herself staring at somepony’s yellow-furred chest. After a second they finished applying the poultice, looked down at her and noticed she was awake, and said, “You’re a witch!”
Twilight’s eyes focused on the little red-maned foal sitting on top of the blanket, staring back at her from a distance of several inches. “Applebloom?” A quick glance to the side confirmed that she was in Applejack’s room; they’d probably just taken her to the nearest warm place to recover.
“Ya asked what kinda pony it made ya if the seed burst inta flames,” Applebloom said. “It means yer a witch.”
“There’s no such thing…” Twilight started, then shook her head. “No, nevermind, I’ve learned this lesson at least twice. When you say I’m a ‘witch’ you mean there’s some category of pony I fit into that shares enough in common with the old mares’ tales that they go by the same name.”
“Ah guess?” Applebloom said, tilting her head.
“So what do witches do? Aside from blow up barns.”
The little filly scrunched up her face. “Potions an’ stuff. Talkin’ ta animals and keepin’ ‘em in line. Knowin’ all kinds ‘a things that nopony else remembers. Bakin’ apple pies… some o’ that might just be Granny Smith though.”
“And making magic dirt, I suppose,” Twilight said. “I’m guessing none of this ‘witchcraft’ is written down, because Celestia forbid earth ponies keep a written record of any of their techniques.”
“She did?” Applebloom asked, raising an eyebrow. “Well, that would explain it. Everypony knows the princess knows best.”
“But since I’m a witch,” Twilight said, trying not to look too eager, “somepony’s going to have to teach me, right?”
“Yes ma’am! Ah can show you some of the basics to start with,” she said, then suddenly got stern. “But you better not write any of it down! You’re in enough trouble with the princess already.”
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I like this fic, while I have yet to read its' predecessor I find the premise of a Twilight who has essentially been maimed in a way that removes her purpose and greatest joy in life a very interesting one. The fact that she brought this on herself makes it far better than if it had been done via villain or mistake, her friends partially or wholly abandoning her, perhaps even outright replacing her, for good reason makes for excellent drama and increases Twilights' anguish. She brought this on herself, it is not borough about by misconception but instead a reaction of what she did, and it may be irreversible.
My favorite scene thus far is this chapters outburst, for the emotional damage Twilight goes through, the fear and disdain that some of the fellow citizens of Ponyville would have built up over time showing through, but perhaps the most for how little it achieves in practical terms. Twilight makes a mess of her gift. In stark contrast from what he would once have done she does not unleash unholy terror, she does not put fear in the hearts of those who oppose her.
She an impotent, hysterical pony who made a mess.
She is not special.
Granted the reveal of the witch potential somewhat undermined the impact, as well as reigniting hope that she will regain her powers, but it also fits in well with the narritive. I presume that the endgoal of this story is for Twilight to regain her unicorn powers, or at the very least to become an Earth-pony witch, a concept that works very well wth the idea of nature based earth pony magic, therefore it is perhaps inevitable that the focus would shift from Twilight dealing with the consequences of her actions and towards regaining who she is but I do feel that the drama is quite well done regardless.
Thank you for writing, and please do not delay with the next installment.
-BlackWinter
That was an interesting turn of events...
Zakora can teach her! :D
I hope she's allowed to write it down, because otherwise I'm pretty sure she's still going to suffer Cutey Mark Insanity Syndrome. c.c
Wow. Earth ponies are jerks.
1605366 I wasn't trying to make them *all* out to be jerks. Mostly just Cherry Berry.
1604883 And in her insanity... she will write it down *without permission*!
1597793 Thanks! I'm glad that scene worked.
I was worried about the drama.
As for hurrying up with the next chapter, it usually takes me a week or two to write one unfortunately. I see people who update their stories every day and I'm like HOOOOOW do you do that?!
Cherry Berry is a jerk.
I'm liking this story, but I'm so confused...
1743230 I am pretty sure Twilight's "Celestia forbid" is rhetorical, on the lines of saying "God forbid we do this the sensible way."
Hmmm Applebloom as a witch didn't see that coming
Roof came off. Somepony owes me 60 bits.