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TheOnly 343913

Joined March 2012
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    TheOnly's Stories (34)


    When a human turns up in Equestria asking for sex, he is met only with perplexed stares and questions.  


    Don't take this seriously.

    First Published
    27th Oct 2012
    Last Modified
    27th Oct 2012

    Comments ( 332 )

    #1 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I really don't know what came over me.

    #2 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517178 Oh lawd, ya must've had some marijuana again. What does e'erone tell ya 'bout marijooana!?

    #3 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517368 MAGIC HASH

    #4 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Whatever it was, I hope you enjoyed it.  :rainbowhuh:

    #5 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517178 Holy crap, that's one story in each of the last three days.

    #6 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517376 MAGIC MUDDABUCKIN SCRAMBLED EGGS!

    #7 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    a++

    #8 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517178 How much drugs did you take?

    #9 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517390 SPARKLY SAUSAGE

    #10 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517399 None, just a little tired, and the feature box has like 7 sex stories in it.  Blegh.  

    I'll probably delete this afterwards.  Although I'm feeling the bandwagon thumbs down coming in.  There's no way 9 people already read the entire thing.

    #11 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517414 EFFERVESCENTLY SCRUMPTILITIOUS BOOGER-PICKIN' BACON, BEEYOTCH!

    #12 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Is it wrong that I enjoyed this? :rainbowlaugh:

    #13 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517416 I don't believe you. I know you take drugs. Don't lie to me Only. This relationship of ours can't be built on lies.

    #14 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517431 it was written to be enjoyed.

    #15 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I feel like having a mental breakdown for some reason.

    #16 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517435 I promise I don't do drugs.  :twilightsmile:

    #17 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Trolling ponies are best ponies

    #18 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I can honestly say that this was one of the best things I've read. Not as good as "The End of Ponyville" or "My Little Stachie", but close.

    Also, don't turn into Art Inspired and go all self loathing on us.

    #19 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I really don't know how to respond to this.

    #20 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    #21 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517419 SILENT SCREAMING SEXUAL SANDY SCROTUM  SALAD!

    #22 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517451 MOUTH-WATERIN', MELANCHOLIC, MELODIOUS, MAGICAL, MYSTERIOUS, MILKSHAKE!

    #23 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517463 CRAPPY CREAM CRUSTED CUMCAKES!

    #24 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517469 SEXY SPAGHETTI!

    #25 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517475 RAUNCHY RAVIOLI!

    #26 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517480 HORNY HUMUS!

    #27 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517490 PENIS PIZZA

    #28 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517495 VAGINAL VANILLA ICE CREAM!

    #29 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517510 And just like that you killed it.

    ALSO

    TITS TORTELLINI

    #30 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    This actually made me laugh. Well done. :pinkiehappy:

    #31 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517516 MUAHAHAHA! SEMEN SALIVA SAUSAGE SAUSAGE!

    #32 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517527 BITTER BLACK BALL BISCUITS!

    #33 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    #35 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517444 self-loathing?  Who's self-loathing.  Certainly not me.

    #36 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517538 FLABBERGASTED FLAMBOYANT BUCKIN FRENCH FRIES.

    #37 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517545 No, I just want to make sure you don't go "BAWWW I HATE HOW MAH STUFF IS SO POPULAR BAWWW THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER READ THIS ONE BAWWWW". That pisses me off so much. :ajbemused:

    I love Art Inspired, but his self-destructive attitude kills it a bit for me. He should just be happy he gets as many views as he does.

    Not that you've ever done that, it's a precautionary measure.

    #38 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517548 ASSUREDLY ASININE ASS APPLES! :ajsmug:

    #39 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517561 There is no way I will ever devolve to self-loathing.  I write stories for my OWN enjoyment, and post them to share my enjoyment.  But srsly my fix are so bad plz reed other ones.

    #40 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517566 CRUSTY COLORFUL CHERRYCHANGAS!

    #41 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517542 A little something called life.

    #42 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517572 And it's not even other people's stories! It's his own! He goes and posts a story, whines about it, then refers us to another one of his stories(granted, which are far better then the first one, but still).

    And I'm glad you won't. I'd just liek you to know that almost every one of us has enjoyed the fics you've been making :twilightsmile:

    #43 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517578 TASTY TURTLE TESTICLE TARTS!

    #44 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    this is a beautiful reconstruction of post-soviet socialist realism

    (i may or may not be deprived of sleep)

    #45 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517599 CUNT CEREAL!

    #46 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    The ending was perfect.

    #47 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I don't think I've ever laughed as much at a fic before.

    Now... it wasn't exactly the highest quality laughter ever, like when there's something that's so hilarious you can't stop yourself, but it was consistent and satisfying laughter.

    Definitely funny.  Also, kinda cringe-inducing, but that's half the fun.  Kinda saw the ending coming.  The idea of cat sized ponies is crazy adorable.

    #48 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517527 Outstanding oral orange orchid orgies? Acceptable anal Apple attacks?


    This was hilarious :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh: When RD 'mixed up the words' just.... just.... :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh: THEN THAT ENDING :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

    #49 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517612 BOOB BROWNIES!

    #50 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I fucking lol'd.

    #51 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517628>>1517630  SEDUCTIVE SPRITE LEMON-LIME!

    #52 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517638 SLIPPERY SEXUAL SPIKE SLIDERS!

    #53 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    This makes me wanna force 'em

    :pinkiecrazy:

    #54 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Nightmare fuel.

    #55 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517647>>1517638 SEXY SUNSET SASPIRILLA SQUIRTING! :trollestia:

    #57 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    ~Will read this later due to my intense curiosity~

    #58 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517638>>1517687 NASTY NIRVANA NUKA-COLA NUGGETS! (lolwut)

    #59 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517694 YES FALLOUT!!! ahem, I mean

    >>1517638CRUSTY PARROT CARROT CREAMPIES!

    #60 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517702 Shit...

    HALF-BAKED HALF-LIFE HASH BROWNS!

    #61 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    #62 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517781 TENACIOUSLY TRUNCATED TWILIGHT TITS!

    #63 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    This made me feel sooooooo fucking awkward...I laughed my ass off though. Nice job.

    #64 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517787 PRETENTIOUSLY PRETTY PINKIE PUSSY!

    #65 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyye liked it.

    #66 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517808 ... can has?


    >>1517808>>1517711 PASTEL PAINTED PICKLED PEPPERONI PARTRIDGE PENIS PAINTINGS!!!

    #67 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517876 POETIC PUPPERONI PASTEL PRETENTIOUS PEARS!

    #68 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517876>>1517808 RAVENOUSLY RAUNCHY RARITY RIMJOB!

    #69 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517893 what is going on.

    #70 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517893 COOPERATIVE COEXISTING CONTEMPLATING CONFORMING COLLABORATING COW COW!

    #71 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517893>>1517889>>1517894

    ANGRY APPLEJACK ASPRAGUS 'APPLEBUCKING'

    #72 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517909 PITIFUL POMEGRANATES!

    #73 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517894 I HAVE NO CLUE

    Please save me

    >>1517907>>1517909

    FANTASTIC FLACCID FLUTTERSHY FUTA FANDOM FUCK!

    #74 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517919 QUANTUM QUILLERY'S ASSTROT QUEING CUMQUATS!

    #75 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517909>>1517926 RIDICULOUSLY RETARDED RASPBERRY RAINBOW DASH RAPE!

    #76 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517926>>1517919>>1517918>>1517907>>1517894 DOMINATIX DONUTS DIDDLING DERPY'S DNA DUMPSTER!!!!! DAILY!!!!!

    #77 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517937 Ah, so someone else enjoys Bronystories :pinkiehappy:

    >>1517937>>1517926 COLLECTIVELY COPULATING COLGATE CARELESSLY!

    >>1517894 We must be confusing you greatly.

    #78 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517937 DUMBFOUNDED DONUTS DELIVERING DUMBBUTTS DELICIOUSLY!

    #79 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517953 ROUNDED REPORTING RAUNCHY RAVIOLI-LIKE REGIDAR REPORTING RAUNCHY RAVIOLI-LIKE COMMENTS!

    #80 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517958>>1517953>>1517937 yeah I'm going to have to ask y'all to stop...

    #81 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517962 MEATBALLS!

    #82 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517958>>1517937 Yeah, guys, let's quit.

    >>1517962 Sorry about all this. :twilightsheepish: I hope it was at least entertaining.

    #83 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517953 I've been reading since... well... not day one... idk, second or third story I think

    >>1517894 The key is to use random alliterations to say nonsense.

    >>1517956 TENTACALED  TORCHICKS TORTUROULSY TEARING TICKLED TANK TORTISES TERRIFFICALLY!!!!

    #84 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    #85 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517962 *sighs* I'm sorry... that did escalate rather quickly....

    #86 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517970 ...sold.

    #87 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517973 Come on, at this point we're simply spamming.

    #88 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517970 He's pretty awesome. Not as great as our lovely Theonly here, but... he's pretty swell :rainbowkiss:

    #89 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517986 *loudly* I don't know. TheOnly is good, but I think Bronystories might be better :trollestia:

    I KNOW! We'll put them in a writer battle to the death to determine the best :pinkiecrazy:

    #90 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    #91 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1517995 *cracks knuckles* bring it.

    >>1517967 It was mildly amusing, and confusing.

    #92 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1518015 Clop vs. Random.

    OH SHIT WE ALL GON DIE

    ALSO

    Amusing and confusing? Dr. Seuss approves.

    fwe
    #93 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    wut

    #94 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    ...Hm. I usually don't read this sort of thingy. But for some reason, it was kinda funny. Even if I wasn't sure if they were trolling or not. Whatever the answer... HMEH.

    >>1517966 ...Whaaaaaaaaat.... whhhhyyyyyyyyyy...? That is the weirdest conversation ever, and I may lose fictional sleep over this.

    I present to you a badge for awesomeness.:pinkiehappy:

    #95 · 28w, 6d ago · 1 · ·
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    >>1518022 random?  My stories are NOT random.  Do you want to see random?  THIS is random!

    #96 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1518015 see, you had to completely shut off your brain for it to make perfect sense... also, I am immortalizing it in a blog post  >>1518022>>1518004

    #97 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1518042 its a parody of sorts.  

    #98 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1518049 Ah yes, Troll is another great author. Yours are more pariodic then his. So forgive me on that one :twilightsmile:

    #99 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1518042 Wait, d' I git it?

    #100 · 28w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I have no words...

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