• Member Since 26th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 29th, 2012

xRadiantXFrostx


I wanted to put a story and write comments so I just signed up.

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Lightning Dash has a great life. But the Changeling threat still rings in everypony's ears. After being sent to spy on them for her unique talent, She figures out some tough choices need to be made.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 4 )

Please tell me what I can fix.

Hm, it was interesting, but jesus! the story was rushed as hell! I didn't feel any sympathy for Lightning Dash (Who was a bit of a Mary Sue, what with the specials powers and such), Celestia is completely out of character (Seeing as how she sent Lightning Dash to kill Chrysalis and then exiled said Lightning Dash for feeling sorry for the Changelings), and it was just too fast. if you edited it to explain a bit more, like how they got the map to the Changeling hive, how Lightning Dash's power works, etc, etc it would look a lot better. Still, rather original and I liked the premise of Ponies thinking the Changelings were evil for looking...well, evil.

I do need to involve the characters more. And rereading, I see what you mean by rushed. I partially wanted some parts to be rushed, but much, much less.Celestia was actually meant to be out of character, I think she needs a dark side.

I wrote this three and a half years ago. Going back to it now is fucking hilarious.

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