Two Best Friends Play: Equestria

by MisterMercenary

Chapter Nine: They'll Remember Me

Canterlot Castle Dining Room, 10:00 A.M

The royal guests and the princesses came to breakfast late that day. They had argued about how to break this to everypony else. Pat thought that they should be blunt about it, while Luna wanted to avoid the topic altogether. Matt had the idea of letting them down gently, like in a break-up. They all agreed on that and went to eat. Matt and Pat entered the dining room with sunglasses in front of their eyes, shielding them from the sunlight that streamed into the room. The Princesses didn't. One of the perks of being a deity was that you didn't get hangovers. They were stuck with the memory loss, though. The table in the middle of the room was populated with various plates and trays of delicious-looking food and drink. The Mane Six were sitting the table around eating breakfast.

"Why hello, Princesses!" Twilight said. "Matt, Pat. I trust you slept well, even after what had happened last night."

"You could say that," Celestia said.

"Why are you two wearing sunglasses?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"What had happened last night," the two humans answered. They sat down and began to shovel eggs onto their plate.

"What in tarnation's with the eggs?" Applejack questioned.

"Protein helps your hangover," Matt explained. "Thank you, Walking Dead." Applejack shrugged and returned to her food. They ate in awkward silence for a few moments.

"Um, Princess," Fluttershy finally asked, "I heard a lot of screaming last night as I was going to bed. It was loud and sounded very painful. What happened? Is anypony hurt?"

Celestia sighed. "No, Fluttershy, nopony's hurt. There was a... a meeting, so to speak, between my sister and I and Matt and Pat last night."

"Well, what happened at this meeting?" Rarity inquired.

"Yeah, and what could happen at a meeting that would cause somepony to scream?" Rainbow Dash added. "I've been to meetings for weather patrol, and they're the most boring thing on the planet!"

"Well, you see, fair Rainbow Dash," Luna began, "this meeting was not a typical one..."

The Mane Six simultaneously asked, "What happened?"

"Well, it seems that, in our drunken nature," Matt said, "we, um... did the deed."

This only served to confuse them. "What?" they asked again.

"We hit a home run. We played around. We-"

"We had sex," Pat interrupted. Unfortunately for them, they were all drinking something. Liquid flew across the room as six simultaneous spit takes occurred, getting everyone drenched. Rarity's cheeks swelled as her face turned a brilliant green. There was a soft whumph sound from the end of the table.

"WHAT!?" they cried disbelievingly. Matt threw a mean jab at Pat's arm as punishment.

"I feared you'd react this way," Celestia said. "Matt, Pat, and Luna were drunk, so they had an excuse. I was sober, so I have no excuse. I'm sorry."

Applejack was the first to calm down, at least a little bit. "That's a-okay, Princess, I guess. Even the best of us need to enjoy life's more simple pleasures. Even if they're with two aliens..."

"Yeah, Princess," Pinkie added. "It's okay to have a little fun occasionally."

"I would have gone with somepony more hunky, but I guess they're good," said Rainbow Dash.

"Maybe you don't have to be so outward about it," Rarity said, a tinge of green still on her facet, "but I guess it's okay. Anything to add, Fluttershy?" No response. "Fluttershy?" The white mare looked over to find Fluttershy sprawled out on the floor, fainting after being told what had happened.

"OKAY? OKAY!?" Twilight shouted. Matt and Pat swiftly covered their ears. "HOW IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS MAGICAL COULD THIS BE OKAY!?! TWO OF THE MOST POWERFUL BEINGS IN EQUESTRIA DID IT WITH TWO BEINGS FROM ANOTHER WORLD! WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE OKAY ABOUT THAT!?" Her eyes suddenly dilated. "Oh no. Oh nonononononononono! What if word gets out? What would happen to the princesses? What would happen to me? What-"

Applejack cut in and grabbed a hold of Twilight's shoulders. "Twi, even though they're goddesses, the Princesses are still ponies like everyone else. Just because they're rulers doesn't mean they can't have fun, even if it's with two humans. Also, ain't you a vir-"

Twilight shoved a hoof in Applejack's mouth. "No! No I'm not!" She felt the heat go to her cheeks as they turned bright red. Matt and Pat began to snicker. "Stop it!" she chastised.

Celestia placed a hoof on Twilight's shoulder. "My dearest Twilight, your friends are right, you know. We all need to fool around and have a little fun once in a while. It can't be all work. Even if it's a... simpler pleasure."

Twilight sighed. "I guess you're right," she conceded. A few moments after that, everyone who was conscious had calmed down, though no one ate. A few minutes of awkward silence passed before Princess Celestia decided that a subject change was in order.

"So, Twilight," she said, "have you found anything on how Matt and Pat might get out of here?"

"Oh yes, Princess," Twilight said, immediately perking up. "I couldn't go to sleep last night, partly because of all the screaming." She shivered. "Anyway, I went to the library in Canterlot for some late night studying," she said.

"Only you'd go to a library in the middle of the night because you can't sleep, Twilight," Rainbow interjected.

"Thank you for your comment, Rainbow Dash. Anyway, I was reading a book on the Discordian Reign when I stumbled upon some information that Matt and Pat might like to hear."

The two perked up their heads. "What?" they asked.

"I was tired, so I forgot to write it down. You're going to have to come with me to find out." Twilight got up from her seat. "I'm going to get some paper and quills from my room. See you at the library!" She disappeared down the hall. Matt and Pat pushed their plates away from themselves and stood up.

"Well?" Pat asked. "Are you guys coming to the library or what?" The rest of the Mane Six shrugged, then followed the two outside.

"You go on ahead," Rarity said, "I'll wake up Fluttershy." The fashionista prodded the pegasus until she stirred while everyone else left to Canterlot Library.

"What happened?" Fluttershy asked when she finally woke up. "I had this horrible dream where the Princesses told us in the middle of breakfast that they had se...se...se..."

"Um, sweetie?" Rarity informed. "That actually happened." Fluttershy promptly fainted again.

---

Canterlot Library, 12:00 A.M

Specks of dust caught the light and crawled around the lobby as Matt, Pat, and the Mane Six minus one entered the library. Fluttershy had to be taken to her room in shock after being told the events of last night for a second time. The yellow, green-eyed unicorn librarian poked up her head from behind her desk at the new visitors.

"Hello there!" she said. "My name is Book Smart. What can I get for you today?"

"Hi!" Twilight introduced. "We're looking for a book on the Discordian Reign. Do you have anything here for us?" Book Smart pointed over to the history section, where they found a musty, brown book titled Chaos: A History of The Discordian Reign. Twilight flipped across the pages until she found a picture of a large black arch.

"You see this?" Twilight asked. The two best friends nodded. "This is a Chaos Gate. It was a tool used by Discord, the god of chaos, during his rule over Equestria. The arch brought things from other universes to Equestria so the confusion would create more chaos. It connected with innocuous items from the universes and took their form, so that something could enter the gateway.."

Realization struck Pat like a fastball to the nuts. "The cardboard box!" he exclaimed.

"The box was a gate?" Matt cried.

"What cardboard box?" Applejack asked.

"We came to Equestria by falling into a cardboard box," Pat explained, "It sounds crazy, I know."

"Wait, really?" Rainbow questioned.

"Yeah, even I couldn't come up with something that crazy!" Pinkie said.

"Well, it must've been a gate," Matt repeated.

"How do you know there's still a gate in Equestria?" Rarity challenged.

"It says here that the gates couldn't be turned off," Twilight said, scanning the text. "Creatures still popped up even after Discord was made into a statue. It says the only way to shut a Chaos Gate down was to destroy it." The purple mare snapped the book shut. "I guess they missed one." They walked towards the check-out area, Pat holding the book.

"Did you find everything to your liking?" Book Smart asked.

"Yeah," Pat said, "it really helped us out." He handed her the book and she checked it out. Pat grabbed it back and started towards the door.

"Come on, guys," he called out, "we gotta get this to the Princess." The rest of them followed him out the exit.

"Thank you, come again!" Book Smart called back as they left. When the door shut, she then snickered. Her eyes glowed emerald. "Or we'll come for you..."

---

Badlands, 2:00 P.M

The wings of the Changeling hummed across the blazing desert as he raced to his queen. He was carrying important news for both his race and the humans. He settled softly on the ramshackle base of tents, rocks, and tables established after the defeat and banishment of Queen Chrysalis. Soldiers of both races buzzed about him in the rays of the burning sun, preparing their weapons and looking ready for war. He smiled. The mare would have her day. He eyed the queen. She was over at the commander's tent, discussing something with the white-haired human. He never really liked him. Too... what was the word... self-confident. He stepped into the tent, thankful for the heat shield.

"My liege..." he rasped, kneeling.

Chrysalis and the human looked over at him. "My apologies," the queen muttered to the human. She stepped over to the Changeling. "What is it? This had better be good."

"One of our spies in Canterlot has spotted the humans!" he cried. "They've discovered a way to escape! They're also with the mares!"

Chrysalis was taken aback. She then smirked. "Excellent..." she said, "very good." She walked over to the human. "Isn't it, Mr. Loren?"

"Of course it is," he returned.

"Will they remember you?" she asked.

"Of course they'll remember me," Loren said. "After all, they did kill me." He exited the tent and signaled the troops. They gathered into a talkative crowd, discussing what he had to say.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Loren cried, raising his arms skyward, "I have wonderful news! The two men and six mares who have, killed, shamed, and humiliated us have been found!" The whole crowd cheered.

"Yes, my friends," Loren continued, "we have been waiting for a long time for this. After so long, we finally have a chance to exact our revenge on those monsters! However, the journey to this glorious moment in time will be a long and hard one. There will be obstacles. There will be battles. Some of you may not leave this campaign with your lives." Loren heard a few gulps within the audience. "But, rest assured, the men and women who have caused us so much pain will inevitably get what their pathetic little existences deserve. And so, I ask you, mafioso, Spetsnaz, Templars, Ganados, Locust, Geth, Syndicate, Changelings, that you all rise behind me and Queen Chrysalis, so that we may have our vengeance!" The whole crowd hollered in support of him! He lifted his arms into the air once again.

"WE! WILL! KILL THEM!" Loren screamed. The whole crowd repeated his words over and over again into the desert.

---

A/N: Ah crap, did I just thicken the plot?

Comments

[Cobalt Shadows]

I was laughing my fucking ass off when they said it

[nyarlanthotep]

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and so the plot thinkens

[TheVideoGamingGuru]

xD

[XxgmanxX]

Holy Fuck... Saints, Cogs, Ezio/Altiar... SHITS ABOUT TO GET REAL.

[Wondrous Mind]

weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/shit-just-got-real.jpg

[kragor]

HO SHIT

[kingthe13]

oh hell note too self remember if i find a portal too another world remember too bring a list of every badguy iv ever defeated and how i defeated them it could come in handy