Oh lord... I'm liking this.

I have several of your stories on my Read Later list, just waiting for me to dig into them...

... and yet I drop everything to read a story about Trixie getting sexual urges.

Kinda tells ya where my priorities lay, huh?

I love that Carrot Top is the exact opposite in how she views sex in regards to Trixie. Her lines were hilarious!

Well done. This actually makes me feel more for Trixie than your main storyline has done at times.

Huh, I share a lot of Trixie's sentiments. Carry on.

This story promises many laughs. I look forward to reading more.

wow this was both hilarious perverse creepy and surprisingly in character for a crack fic.

The Aloe and Lotus scne with a perverse Carrot Top with low finances

Can't wait to see what Lyra and Bonbon have planned.

Please tell me we get to see Raindrops at some pint, seriously this is crack no better place!

Didn't like the Pokey scene as much but that's just me, plus it seems a little odd of ran "asexual" even one with a biological sex clock of extreme strength to find someone attractive rather than just having huge urges in general.

hah! Luna and Trixie's letters awesomeness

though it was also mean of Luna

Can't wait to see what happens next...

because... for science, and not my sense of humour  

“Ve charge a little more for our deluxe service,”

Also CT asking exactly how much, and about the lock-in.

Lyra & BonBon

Pokey, and his MAGNIFICENT HORN!

...

Oh dear, I simply must have more of this wondrous crack.

That was hilarious!

I'm guessing this will be mature humor like Estrus, and not actually full on clop?

>>14922131492213

No, there shouldn't be any full-on clop.

Ooooh holy GOD.

I'm not much of a fan of clopfics (I'm not opposed to adult themes in stories, I just prefer it as a means to an end, not the end itself) but I love raunchy humor (I'm a regular reader of Oglaf, after all).

Tracking for great justice.

Luna, somepony is playing your favorite song wrong...

>>14921791492179 I'm in the same boat. Go figure.

In any case, hilarious thus far. It's what I might expect an episode of the show to be if it were actually targeted towards the peripheral demographic. Kind of.

...

Wow. You ever get weirded out by yourself sometimes?

In any case, looking forward to more.

oh poor Trixie

...oh god, this is hilarious. I demand more.

And has hilariously and sexy as this is, I do feel sorry for Trixie. She really does need to learn to be comfortable with herself........

And Luna more or less telling Trixie to go fornicate herself is hilarious and completely in character at the same time.

And Lyra and Bonbon planning something...hmmm......maybe Trixie will learn what green tastes like......

Nothing like a mare in heat to bring out the taste of a Breakfast Burrito. (Not really, but it was fun to say. And I AM eating a breakfast burrito while I read.)

Interesting...

<Volley of anti-Shipping missiles collides with HMS PokeyTrix>  

Awwww....

Trixie seriously needs psychological help... was she supposed to of been molested as a filly or something?!

Amusing, but not all that funny. Yet.

I can't help but wonder how much more comedic and deftly nuanced this could be handled if it actually was in canon Lunaverse and taken seriously.

Also not sure I like the "sex is gross" attitude compared to the "freaked out by sex from being the protege of Luna and every stallion and mare with a political motive trying to get under my tail even at a much too young age" (AKA "sex is a weapon and I won't be it's victim") which I expected.

>>14921811492181

I tend to agree. She is sometimes too much of a perspective character.

>>14927071492707

The "Night Court" version is a bit dark for me...

>>14930361493036

Well, not THAT dark if she's still a virgin. But yeah. I agree. Wouldn't want her to go through that.

Good example of it in Return of Princess Nightmare Moon.

See Trixie. This is why you can't just ignore the needs of your body. Now, might I introduce you to a lovely and intelligent purple mare.....

I HAVE NO SHAME

>>14922021492202

Hey, a farmer has to relax every so often.

What will be funny is when she finds out Applejack showed up too....

>>14930511493051

....that gives me an idea.......

>>14930911493091

Image: http://dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw976_1319304919552.jpg

>>14931111493111

well, the key party at the spa already gave me an idea involving Cheerilee and Heavy Roller, but throwing AJ and CT into mix would make things simply delightful.

That, and I have an idea involving Pinkie Pie and some poor mare, because Pinkie Pie would totally go to any party.

>>14931391493139

Mwuahahaha.  I am gonna be watching out for that one.

>>14931441493144

...what the hell, I haven't made much progress on anything in the past while. I need something cracky to get the juices flowing.

Hey RDD, mind giving a dood some details about these parties Aloe and Lotus hold?

...heh, flowing juices.....

>>14931391493139

I am both terrified and intrigued.

>>14931591493159

Details? I don't have any details, it was thought up on the spot for a joke.

Um...well, they're at a spa, so I guess there's mud and lotion...

>>14932811493281

.....I can work with that.

>>14932051493205

you and me both.

Yes perfect.

>>14926921492692

As far as any of us know, (no) she wasn't molested she's just Asexual, which naturally makes the idea of partially or totally losing control of her body and almost being "compelled" to do stuff she finds disgusting is understandable.

>>14943011494301 'Just Asexual'? That's like saying someone has 'Just' an eating disorder.  In order for any living creature (who doesn't reproduce asexually) to have no interest in sex, let alone be repulsed by it points to some serious mental problems.

After all, when you get right down to it sex is instinctually the only reason to prolong ones life (once again assuming were not talking about a single cell or something).  So for there to be an aversion to it there is either A) Trauma or B) A physical problem with the brain/hormones, neither of which is healthy.

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_unsuresweetie_flip.png

>>14943631494363

I'm mildly offended by this seeing as I'm Asexual, I'd recommend doing some reading on the subject.

To my faithful student,

If you would care to notice that stick up between your flanks, and wiggle it around, you might actually enjoy it, god forbid.

Your Dearest,

Luna of Equestria, your God

Also RDD, Pokey is gay, but still affected by hormones? Am I misreading something, or is he getting the hell out of dodge?

And EB, BB? Until a better explanation is offered, the lockout is canon for how CT and AJ were able to bury the hatchet, despite planning to stretch the rivalry out for an entire season.

>>14943631494363

Actually, it can totally just happen. For any given set, there will always be outliers.

After all, it makes no sense from a biological standpoint that there could be gays or lesbians, but we know for a fact that they exist. So is someone who's completely uncomfortable with the thought of either really so bizarre by comparison?

Check it.

(Oh, and here is the wiki article)

>>14944111494411

That was meant to be Trixie's interpretation of what was happening to him. Guess it was unclear. This chapter was written in about an hour, so that's to be expected, I guess.

I'll fix it.

>>14944971494497 I see what your trying to say but I would go with yes...that really is a bad thing.  Biologically you would assume Schizophrenia would get bred out of the population and we still have that.  The fact that it is an outlier doesn't necessarily make it alright.  

Gays are viewed as still being healthy because they are still showing an interest in their normal biological functions even if the attraction is misplaced.  Like I said before, having no interest in sex is like not having an interest in food or breathing.  Lacking any of those things is denying your opportunity to continue your genes ie. denying your very reason to exist.

This Trixie is your character so in the end I have to accept your interpretation of her inner workings but from where I see things she is a very ill mare.

>>14945811494581

You should check out this site and again I'm offended by you implying  that I'm "ill."

http://www.asexuality.org/home/

man I really don't want this to turn into come culture political thingy.

>>14945811494581

Well, near as can be told, it doesn't actually have any severe impact on the lives of asexual people. Trixie's an unusual case for getting so grossed out, but I'm not gonna lie, this happens mostly 'cause I think it's funny.

She's not adverse to forming close romantic relationships, and in that sense, she's straight (in canon, anyway; in this, who knows?). But sex? No.

>>14946081494608

Seriously it totally doesn't, I'm happy and yes it is funny plus due to "heat" it's understandable that Trixie would probably find sex more unappealing and squicky than a human asexual.

but considering Equestrias views on gender and Trixie lacking the desire for either sex why would she be "straight" at all? that don't make sense

>>14946441494644

Well, I mean "straight' insofar as romantic relationships are concerned. And while Equestrians don't care about homosexuality or bisexuality, I think the majority of them still lean towards straight, though I do also think they're more experimental.

Sexuality is redicuously complicated. Even amongst humans, it's rare to find someone who is 100% straight or 100% gay. Even someone who self-identifies as completely straight might still have someone they'd "go gay" for. Usually George Clooney or John Barrowman for men. With Equestrians it's even murkier, I think, nevermind adding in things like how some ponies might only be attracted to ponies from certain tribes, or be repulsed by ponies of certain tribes, without ever taking gender into account.

And then there's minotaurs...

...the point is that, in canon, I think that Trixie is generally romantically attracted only to males.

Again, though, this is non-canon and could go any direction.

>>14948421494842

I know you meant only insofar as romantic relationships and while a fair number of asexual people might choose to define themselves as straight gay or bi. this tends to be more to do with culture than anything else so from a society that cares very little about sexuality it seems unlikely that Trixie would be romantically inclined one way or the other.

I mean she's your character though just yeah making a note of it, sorry fi it came across like I was telling you how to write your character.  

Besides you did say "generally"

Plus she's form Neigh orleans!

Do you know what my favorite part about this is? That it's not marked Romance.

Too many clop writers have the impression that just because it has sex, it's automatically romance, even if it's just loveless sex. Kudos to you.

>>14948931494893

You just want her to be free for your OTS with Raindrops.

More seriously Trixie is only asexually from the stand point of hanky-panky, therefore it is still perfectly sensible for her to still identify with specific gender attractions.  Just because she doesn't care for the downstairs action doesn't mean she ignores the rest of the package.

Plus she's form Neigh orleans!

Well, this is going to get very interesting.

I am intrigued, aroused, and disturbed.

Please continue...preferably on the other stories, but this one's good, too.

...eh.  Your characterization is spot-on as ever, but "lol magical heat" stories always strike me as really disturbing what with the whole dubious consent thing.

Oh geeze!! I really feel for Trixie here, I do. This has the potential for so much chaos! Hee.

Whatever you do Trixie, just don't think of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HClxCvb9ETs

All aboard the hilarity train.

Next stop: featured box.

>>14953051495305

While I will concede to loving that ship this really is more about the technical side of things, than anything else

More seriously Trixie is only asexually from the stand point of hanky-panky, therefore it is still perfectly sensible for her to still identify with specific gender attractions.  Just because she doesn't care for the downstairs action doesn't mean she ignores the rest of the package.

Again I'm well aware of this, I even mentioned it. I just said that from an Equestrian stand point it doesn't strike me as such a big thing it's largely culture based.

Also by Neigh orleans I meant that's place strikes me as the least one sided in terms of sexuality so her pricking up a "sexuality" based on the actions of other around seems unusual, again it's not a big thing and I'm almost certainly taking it more seriously than needed still.

You need to adjust the ending. Because honestly I can read that last line just as easily as "Okay, you don't need to pay me for the month."

>>14954121495412

...that's what she's saying.

As in,

"Okay, fine, I won't be paid for the month. It's totally worth it if it means i don't have to be around anypony while I'm in heat."

This looks like it'll be a lot of fun. So many shipping opportunities! I really hope you go for something that hasn't been done yet. If you can think of a way to stick Spike with Trixie and execute it, that would be the highlight of my week. Probably the highlight of my month. He has at least three way of pleasuring a mare that no equine ever will (interestingly-shaped tail, dexterous claws, forty-inch tongue).

Everypony else practically sets their watches to their heats while my biological clock was built by diamond dogs!

I love Trixie's evil sarcasm.

Pokey Pierce's IQ has just jumped 20 points in my estimation.  I can see the train of thought.

1) The boss is in her Time.

2) I don't really like her, she really doesn't like me.  

3) This is a comfortable job that pays well, and is never boring.

4) If I give in to her, she's going to have a bad reaction to this in about a week, and she's LUNA's favorite student.

5)  "I'm gay!"

6)  Whew.  Dodged a bullet.  And got a week off with pay.  Win-Win.

All it really took to interest me was that erotic cover photo... I saw that and dropped everything!

>>14954451495445

oh, okay.  I thought it was, but for a story like this that seems entirely to sensible, so I thought that couldn't be what you were going for.

>>14953971495397

I just said that from an Equestrian stand point it doesn't strike me as such a big thing it's largely culture based.

>>14956141495614

eh that's debatable and considering there isn't a society I know of we could use s a case study I doubt we could really get anywhere with such a discussion.

Meh. I can't help but be creeped out by the idea that Trixie clearly is not interested in sex yet some character at some point is going to take advantage of her. But that's really part for the course when it comes to heat fics.

Grammar/editing was shoddy and could use some work. Not too familiar with this whole Lunaverse thing, but it didn't seem to matter much.

Solid 5/10.

This... looks amazing.

God, I'm gonna make myself read this aren't I?

*reads*

Oh, I think this will be fun

But seeing how quick she went after Pierce, I wonder how Trixie made through her previous heats "unharmed" when they supposedly snuck up on her, too.

I think the only gripe I have with this is that the spa ponies offer that kind of service, I don't like them being portrayed that way... than again it's a crack fic. Proceed!

For the record, I'm in the same boat Trixie is. A virgin. This... isn't very funny to me, to be honest. And I find Luna's reaction to be insulting at best.

>>14966031496603

Trixie's problem isn't that she's a virgin (heck, I'm a virgin). There are all sorts of things that one can do while leaving one's virginity intact.

Trixie's problem is that she's completely, in all ways, grossed out by sex or anything sexual entirely, including doing anything by herself. This is...less than ideal in a species with a heat cycle.

Luna's reaction is simply "I'm okay with you not wanting to get laid, Trixie, but your job can't be put on hold simply because you refuse to deal with your heat the way every other single mare in Equestria does."

>>14965761496576

A supreme exertion of will, I guess.

The spa ponies are there just for the joke. As you pointed out - this isn't canon. Nothing I write in this is "sticking."

Stupid sexy Pokey.

YOU KILLED SPIKE?!?!

Oh, and well done. Want more.

Hah! Certainly an amusing beginning; I'm curious to see how you're continuing from here on.

I was kind of expecting Pokey to send a big "fuck you" to mono-orientation and give in to the chemicals.

Actually, I'm actually disappointed that he didn't. That would've been awesome.

>>14922251492225 If you'd just gone ahead and said that in the first place...

Well, no use complaining about being late for the party; I'll just jump in and hope nobody notices.

Wow trixie u nuaghty girl

>>14969571496957 And waddaya know, this was actually pretty funny.

Okay, interesting so far. I'll give it a watch and see what happens

Please! More! I play a non-canon Trixie, but this is a great take on her personality!!!

>>14943631494363

Asexuality is real.  It's quite healthy and normal, in fact.  Many people are asexual.  It's a socially favorable trait in many ways.  Healthy asexuality isn't even associated with sexual dysfunction.  Such individuals just aren't motivated by sex.  The primal attraction is missing.  They don't look at people and go "Wow, s/he's hot."  They aren't distracted by fantasies and so forth.  

It shouldn't be hard to see why this remains in the population.  People who aren't sexually motivated are still motivated by other things.  There's no question of them 'sublimating' sexual desires into other actions, either.  They really are sincerely motivated by other causes.  Human culture has historically exalted these individuals.  I think exultation is as ridiculous as your revulsion, but the point is, it's a favorable condition and favorable conditions tend to stick around.  There are reasons to have sex other than instinct and reasons to have relationships other than sex.  Someone with no interest in sex per se could still care about their lineage or want to have a family, for instance.  They could also end up in a committed relationship with someone who isn't asexual.

>>14945811494581

So you've wondered why schizophrenia doesn't get bred out of the population.  That's because the schizophrenic geneplex is associated with sharply elevated intelligence.  Having most of the genes for schizophrenia creates a creative if somewhat unstable genius.  This causes the geneplex to be favored in the population.  Unfortunately, sometimes the entire geneplex comes together, creating a schizophrenic.  And sometimes, people who don't have the entire geneplex suffer the kind of trauma that makes them 'tip over' anyways; they have enough to be predisposed.  (Finally, some people who do have the entire geneplex never suffer triggering events, so they go through life just being brilliant.)

Also, homosexuals are considered healthy not because they have all the 'normal biological functions', but because they're people and they aren't hurting others.  Asexuality is in the same basket.  Everyone is weird somehow.  I mean, look at us, reading a story about cartoon horses going into heat.  Eccentricity isn't always harmful.

This is hilarious! If I were you, I'd put a note in your blog post explaining that this story, while rated Mature, isn't actually clop. I almost didn't read it because of that (I'm happy that clop exists, but I've tried to read it and there are just some words I can't cope with in the same sentence as "pony"), and I would have regretted it.

Interestingly, I'm not actually getting the sense that Trixie is asexual (since she clearly has a sex drive and some form of sexual preference), but that she has a real problem with her body. Potentially a body dysmorphia issue? Although it seems to extend to even the thought of other ponies having sex, so it might not even relate to her own body. Now that I think about it, she might suffer from sensory defensiveness, due to which the sounds, smells and tactile sensations of sex freak her out. That would certainly explain her disgust whenever she overhears Lyra and Bon-Bon going at it, or even talking about it.

Anyway, I'm very fond of sexual comedy, especially when it comes to ponies, so eagerly awaiting more!

>>14922251492225  Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm................

*hovers over the star button*

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm~

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay. *click*

>>14972401497240>>14972951497295 An educated discussion about sexuality and personality ... I'd say disorders but that seems to strong a word, quirks let's say. On a website devoted to technicolor ponies. Leibnitz was right ... this IS the best of all possible worlds!

>>14926921492692

She lived in a house with a large family and very thin walls, in Neigh Orleans.

*Tilts head*

>>14977841497784

This. She was exposed to a fairly sexually-free environment at a young age. By her own words, she can't remember a time when she didn't know about the "facts of life." Her aunt and uncle were always open and answered any questions she had, never keeping anything from her nor her cousins.

Like >>14953051495305 said, she was probably just naturally disinterested, but growing up in a place that hosts Pony Mardi Gras has just made her grossed out by it entirely.

But she was not molested.

Just as a quick reminder, these chapters are all being written in about an hour, with no attempts at editing.

Or sanity.

>>14979201497920

"sanity"

who needs it! we're all strange here

Lyra Heartstrings, Element of Loyalty; and Bon Bon, candy-mare

I don't know why but I love this line

Poor Lyra for ever denied a threesome. RainbowDash, but what about Fluttershy!? heh funny though.

Trixie's entire mental "thing" about making war on her hindquarters was funny in a really weird way.

Twilight seriously hah! oh shipstease, that was mean.

Rainbow like.

Also, Twi was hilarious.

... That is all.

>>14979201497920 WHO NEEDS SANITY!!  

Bring in the Flutterheat!

(Fluttershy in heat)

“This is me not surprised that you don’t recognize it,”

Image: http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/kelso-burn.jpg

That had me on the floor.   Seriously.

Aw, everypony is making this harder on Trixie.

CONTINUE.

Also, not sure why I didn't favorite this before. I must be losing my own sanity.

Knock, dammit!

Anyway, if Twilight is on the docket for the crack fic, this means anyone up to and including Corona is fair game... Oh boy...

…had she really just hallucinated the two of them assaulting her?

(Also, we need a :crazytwilight: emote)

“I. Heard. ‘Threesome,’” Rainbow Dash noted.

Twilight didn’t seem to notice. “You’re a fraud!” she continued, nostrils flaring. “You don’t deserve to be the Element of Magic, you’ve squandered Princess Luna’s teachings, and I’ve spent the last few months building a case to prove this and gather my own…my…my own…”

>>14979271497927 >>14979491497949

I agree; sanity is so overrated!  Also...

Twilight seriously hah! oh shipstease, that was mean.

>>14980621498062

Noooo! not suffering, I can't stand suffering

>>14980621498062

There are zero garuntees that she won't be back.

>>14980811498081

>>14980811498081 Yyezzz!

Image: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbxf4816Sz1rsi74po10_250.gif

>>14980871498087

Double the above.

Addendium: Is Twilight able to scry to find out where whoever she's sneaking up on, or does she just go room to room to preserve dramatic effect? Either way, I'd run like hell once she hit her time of the month.

Is... is this in Lunaverse!canon?  I feel like it isn't.  Either way, the whole Twilight thing had me literally laughing out loud.  Well done, sir.

>>14980871498087

Cool song, I shall play when RD shows up, if we get that lucky

>>14980911498091

Cool pic

>>14980991498099

It's a crack fic not part of canon, but just as fun

>>14980961498096

I have no idea. Again: these chapters are written in about an hour with only the barest of forethought and no concern for how the events in them might impact the larger world.

>>14980991498099

As stated in the description, no, it's not. I wouldn't do this to poor Trixie in canon; it's just a crack fic so that I can have fun with the characters without needing to worry about the world.

>>14981021498102

Rainbow Dash already showed up...

...

...Oh you mean Raindrops.  Yeah, turns out she's out of town for the WHOLE weak.  Had to help a certain strapping stallion hunt sum booties... er, bounties rather.

>>14981141498114

"I will destroy you!"

seriously don't joke, or someone will have to bring GG into this

>>14981241498124

YES... YES!!!

Someone bring Greengrass into this fic right away.  Now is the perfect time for him to have his long awaited face off with his worthy political rival.  Screw the waiting for Grand Galloping Gala... or rather lets get straight to the screwing right now.

>>14981381498138

get state to the screwing right now

"State to screwing"

I'm not even sure I wanna know what that is

Twilight's sudden appearence and their exchange afterwards completely made my day