Heartbroken after a rejection from Rarity Spike find love where he least expects it. He also learns some thing about himself he never thought he believed could be true.
This is my first story ever. I was going to release another story but I have yet to finish it I kept getting side tracked. This story really was what I kept getting side tracked with. I will release more if this does well.
Special Thanks to Bennet001 for Editing for me. Cover art borrowed from spending to many hours searching google.
Chapters (6)
Ok so a few things I ask. Please don't downvote it for bad spelling or grammar errors. I know its not perfect and has issues. I don't have anyone to proofread it or anything right now. If you like my story I will get someone to help me make sure its worth itself.
PREPARE!
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1494160 I just hope its not be prepared to get downvoted to -500...
UPVOTED
i like it, it is a spike story so INSTA FAV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah Spike, Sweetie, and Twilight are my 3 favorite Ponyville Ponies.
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I like this... but there can be work done on grammar here to make it epic...
Haha, awesome! I will have to watch this. It's so EPIC!
I detect a category 8 shitstorm with galeforce winds and hail the size of mini-vans.
Yay people like my story. This is good very good. Now I will have to write up the next 2 or so chapters tonight and we will go from there.
1494366 Thats how I used to be.
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Well, work on your grammar and spelling, and maybe cover the reveal of the Harmony Dragon in more detail, and the story should be just fine.
Faves before Reads
's
Finally Reads
This is your first story?
4/5
1494488 yes very first story. Ever I haven't even written anything remotely like this before the only thing coming close would be a 500 word roleplay from about 9 years ago when I was 15.
also to everyone else stating I should work on my grammar I plan on it. I didn't expect the sheer number of likes and faves I got in the like hour after release. I will make sure to go back and edit this and maybe expand some on points that seemed rushed. Such as the whole Harmony dragon thing.
Cute but like you sailed, it's kinda rushed
dafuq I'm going to draw that now
In other topics "rarity dumps spike because of 'obvious reasons' then when I mr prince studs Magee she's all like aww yeaa only to learn that he chose sweetie" in yer face rarezÃ
SpikeXsweetie belle insta fav
Harmony dragon
I was kinda confused but imokaywiththis.jpeg
7/10
1494715 I pictured a harmony dragon kinda like a Chinese dragon long and thin. It has very thin but well toned legs It has a flowing mane in place of the spines on its back.
Sorta looks like this exept note as thin. and with a flowing mane.
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Sounds promising. I shall read!!
D'awww!
Fantastic! Simply fantastic!
Ok I have someone looking over as we speak so edits should be incoming.
1494911 And of course since the CMC were going to be lumberjacks I have a feeling Apple Bloom might get her cutie mark soon too, which means Scootaloo will be the only one left without a cutie mark.
Hm intresting, and of course it's odd how Sweetie Belle became an alicorn as well.
1495088 Oh you think its odd it gets explained. Its one of the few things I plan on giving a very big explanation on as well.
so much perfection between spike and sweetie bell.
1491455 needs a little work on the grammar but other than that spot on mate
also
UPDATE!!! QUICKLY!!!!
1495451 Next update will be out tonight. again its not proofread yet BUT I have an editor that is currently working on the first 2 chapters.
Also is anyone good at making images I need 2 or 3. mainly a avatar.
1495482 in the words of second best pony
YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES
Ok new chapter up. Its shorter than the others but thats because I really couldn't think of much else to put. I always read these stories about how Celestia never knows how another alicorn appeared.. even though she is often portrayed as an all seeing goddess in said stories. So I made it so she knew something happed but didn't know where. Made sense to me. That and i wanted to make Luna, even though she is tied for best pony, faint.
1496551 And anouther one gets hooked.
Now everyone sees why i ended the first chapter with that line. You don't read chapter one hit that ending and stop you must continue.
So, can any dragon become a harmony dragon or are they just born as a different kind of dragon?
Also, when Celestia is thinking over how a harmony dragon ascends, she made it sound like they only ascend when they fall in love with a pony or griffon. Is that right?
1498649
From what I gathered, they only ascend when they find their mate; dragon, pony, griffon, probably any creature.
I am wondering if they felt the wave of harmony from the ascension of Spike along with Sweetie Belle becoming an alicorn?
Other than some grammatical errors, awesome story!
Had to read it twice, and already craving more!
1499000 Only specific dragons become Harmony Dragons and they naturally are calmer around well everyone. They are just plain rare to begin with its just that even if more than 1 had been born there hasn't been any that have ascended.
As for your second question. Yep they can't tell the differnece in waves so when they occured at the same time they had no differnce between them.
Luna is down for the count.
Ok. Just a few critiques. I love the concept and where you are heading with it, but it feels a bit rushed. Take your time with this, especially when editing. You have a lot of grammar mistakes and those can be easily eliminated with repeated checks or a proof reader or two. The story is also moving along at a very fast pace. I would urge you to take your time with the development of your characters and the plot. I love the Spike and Sweetie pairing but I think you are moving too quickly. Just a few thoughts. Anyway, great story. Watching to see where it goes. Keep up the good work.
1504022 Well yeah i plan on it. I felt the first 3 chapters were fast paced a bit to much. I just couldn't come up with something to slow it down.
Now I have a proofreader going over these chapters right now and when they are done and worked on a bit more I will be continuing on. I am glad for the positive response I got so i will be working on making it the best it can be.
And slowing down.
1504179 Awesome!
Well I truly am digging the story. Can't wait for more.
Good good
Now enjoy Jim carrey at his..carriest
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Great story bro!! Or sis!! I read the first chapter and was like wow
, then I was like what
, the I was like take that, slap to the face!!!
In detail spike was hurt so tragically by rarity that even I had to say "damn, that is cold."
Then when sweetie belle confessed her song and finally figured out her cutie mark; 'I thought finally!!' Oh and at the end where rarity was metaphorically bitch slapped, for this fic, I shouted, "take that!! Yeah!!!" Wished I could have help with proof reading I could actually identify many errors wich only happens when the story is good.
That is all chow Bennet out!!
Short chapter and I must say, great nonetheless!! Anyways there were a few errors throughout but it wasn't the grammar itself more as the structure of the sentences, that is to say you had misplaced words and an extreme lack of commas to separate your sentence. No real thought on what the next chap may hold my brain is writing off the top of my head right now. Chow Bennet out.
Ok so chapter 1-3 is going through heavy edits well more like heavy proofreading.
Chapter 2 will be revamped to seem easier to read and to make the work on Harmony Dragons easier to understand.
Chapter 4 will be written soon and will be proofread before release.. I hope.
I hope Chapter 4 is almost done
It is. Almost. then 5 should be out soon after that.
1620961 I trust that chapter four is going well
1725188 I wish... I have the basis of what the next around 10 to 15 chapters SHOULD be about but getting the finer details in the story so it doesn't seem to be going at mach 8 and just rush trhough the story is taking me a while. I am working on wording and slowing my pace. I have re writen chapter 4 3 times so far just to slow down the pacing and I think the one I am working on right now is going to be a lot better than the pacing of the last 3.
1726205 well thats fine im just making sure you haven't given up on it
Update!
by why so short?
1794289 This isn't quiet finished yet as it states its gonna have around 4 to 5 hundred more words then its gonna start getting longer when the story picks up a bit. Right now we are going at the same time exploring what happened in the first about 15 hours of the Ascension but we will start going more into the story shortly.. With the next chapter being Sweetie Vs. Rarity the battle for Spikes heart.. coarse you know who wins but we got some surprises in store.
I'm so happy! !! This finally updated! !! I'm sad it's just a sample but I'm glad this story isn't dead. It is by far one of my favorites! !!