An aspiring writer that loves the fandom and it's works
Rainbow Dash has been plagued by nightmares for a week, but she is slowly starting to lose it. When her friends go to Canterlot to get Celestia's guidance the truth may shock them to their very core.
Rainbow's only hope seems to be in an ancient spell that can either save her or kill her.
This is my first fan fic and I am looking for honest feed back.
Let me know in the comments below.
If you find anything wrong with my Grammer please point it out.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Pretty intresting. I'll just give a thumbs up...for now.
Alrighty. You took my last edits into account, which means more feedback for you.
Will go through the whole thing this afternoon.
1591983
Thank you
1587565
Thanks
I got a hunch that he wants that element back
oh and longer chapters would be nice too.
1596004
I'll try.
GRAMMAR NAZI
There aren't spelling errors as such, but there's a fair number of grammatical mistakes.
Names should always be capitalized. It should be Rainbow Dash, not rainbow dash.
After closing speech marks, unless you are going on to a different sentence you don't need to capitalize.
Here's is a contraction of here is and should have an apostrophe rather than be like 'heres'.
You used the wrong 'to', it should be 'too'.
Dash should be capitalized. Plauged should be spelt plagued. Loose should be spelt lose - this is a different verb. Canterlot is a city and should be capitalized. Grammer should be spelt grammer.
Did should be does. There should be no full stop between herself and as. Yelled should lead on directly into the speech. I suggest changing 'in a quizzical voice' to 'quizically'.
1605186
I'll fix it
thanks
Holy shit is awesome
Awesome! When the next chapter comes out
?
love this!!!
i need more!!!
2771349cancelled... Fuuuiuuuiuuuuiuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge
3066493 it's on a cliffhanger!?
This is such a good story!! Why does it have to end!
2140627 it's cancelled
Dun Dun DUN!!!
It's a amazing story. I am sad that it has been cancelled. Keep up the good work
How can you scream when you have a dagger in your chest? That would pierce their heart :/
WHY DID YOU CANCEL IT?!?!?!
Well this is pretty interesting so far
Jesus, that was a little violent....................................................I LOVE THIS SO FAR
8061982
Probably cause he missed her heart just by a little bit, but that’s just a theory
Wow, I was not expecting assertive fluttershy to come out with her trademark stare
Oh boy, Celestia with the same good advice as from almost all the other fan stories I’ve read or listened to
That doesn’t sound good
Lol, but holy crap this is getting intense!!!
Oh shit, we getting into some good stuff now, though a question I have is why did the stallion’s friends betray him and why is he in dash’s dreams
Oh boy, backstory time
Oh jesus
It could be either, this is just a theory but he could use that to stop enemies in their tracks when they are charging towards him, that’s the gift part of it, but then again, the curse part of it is exactly what he did with dash, and what if it gets a little out control and he starts to do that to everyone that he even looks at
I have a hunch this is the lest time that they ever got together before the betrayal huh
Honestly, i’m Reading this at 2:30 am in the morning and I’m just too tired to even give a comment for this chapter
Ok then, well this is not really what I expected
Ok, the fact that there are no indicators of whenever a scene is changing is bugging me
Jesus Christ, I didn’t know nightmare moon was that freaking violent like holy shit
i don’t normally cuss this much irl lol
Bruh, can’t believe it has to end here