Epilogue & A/N
The fabric lay draped over the mannequin, a rough square of coarse fabric with an ice cream stain marking one of the corners. The color wasn’t quite the one she preferred to match her own mane and coat, but Pinkie Pie had picked the fabric and the color both, even insisting that she be the one to carry it home from the store. Rarity smiled as she trimmed the corner. It was most certainly not her type.
And it would make for one fabulous dress.
Under her guidance, the cloth came alive. She levitated over the bolt from which the square had been cut, marking the pattern for a simple hood to go with the cloak she suddenly realized she was making. Her smile became a full-fledged grin as her horn glowed brighter still, the work so natural to her now that she let her eyes roam.
Outside the studio windows, numerous pegasi bustled to and fro, gradually carpeting the sky in a dense layer of clouds made pearly white by the sun’s glare. Tonight was the night of the first snowfall, and with Rainbow Dash taking the day off, many wings were called to the air to help in her stead. The sky above Ponyville was almost as busy as the inside of Carousel Boutique.
“Okay, okay, I’ve been thinking, and I think I got it now,” Pinkie said, trotting inside the studio wearing an expression of intense concentration. She snatched a roll of coarse fabric in her mouth, swiftly draping it around her midsection and rearing up on her hindlegs. “Body scarf thinger!” she declared. “It keeps your tummy warm while leaving your tail free for twitching and your everything else free for bouncing!”
Rarity stifled a giggle while she lay the finishing touches on her newest work. It’d been going on like this for the better part of an hour now, her studio littered with half-completed creations, everything from tail mufflers to snout hats.
“Darling, I keep trying to tell you, it’s not like baking. You can’t invent a whole new type of clothing just like that,” she commented, levitating over to Pinkie Pie a bundle of woolen garments she’d completed minutes prior. “There. Those should keep you warm. Blue hat and scarf for you, and a simple lavender cloak for myself. I think we’re about ready to head to the circus in style.”
“Aw,” Pinkie pouted, putting on her hat and scarf while Rarity fastened the clasp of her hooded cloak. “I was sure I had it this time,” the earth mare commented, leading the way into the main room.
Rarity pulled up her hood, shrugging so it’d lie right. As much as she’d like to take credit for the cloak being comfortable, for being just right, she knew the truth was a different one. It was perfect, and it was no thanks to something so mundane as her sewing or her fashion sense.
Holding the door open for Pinkie, Rarity grinned. “Granted, I won’t say never. I know better. It’s simply very unlikely. Now let’s hurry along; the others are probably waiting.”
Pinkie brightened and nuzzled Rarity in passing, slipping out onto the chilly streets of Ponyville and setting off in a contented bounce with Rarity in tow. Just down the road, near the village’s center, they could barely spot Rainbow Dash hovering above the buildings.
“I guess we are a little bit late already,” Rarity murmured.
“That’s okay,” Pinkie giggled. “The circus isn’t going anywhere. Or, well, it kinda is, but we’ve got plenty of time to make the four o’ clock performance. Sweetie Belle and the Crusaders are with Fluttershy, aren’t they?”
“Yes, that was the plan,” Rarity affirmed, pursing her lips and pulling her cloak a little tighter around her body. “I just dislike being late for things like this. You can’t exactly be fashionably late for a show that starts at a certain time. I know it’s a short walk, but I simply will not stand for either us being cold,” she concluded, satisfied with her reasoning.
“I know. I wasn’t complaining,” Pinkie offered, grinning wide. “I had fun, and you know I love you.”
“Pardon?” Rarity asked, slowing down. Her legs threatened to lock up, and her heart skipped a beat.
“I wasn’t complaining!” Pinkie repeated turning to face her.
“And the other words?”
“I love you?” Pinkie said, this time a question. Rarity scarcely dared to breathe. “Um, is that a problem?” Pinkie asked, blinking rapidly.
“No, no, not at all,” Rarity murmured, forcing herself to keep moving. “I’ve just... spent far too long considering what those words would feel like. Dreaming. Imagining,” she admitted, furrowing her brow.
It was no earth-shattering declaration. Instead of her heart throbbing and tears flowing, Rarity felt a warmth settle over her, a quiet peace infinitely more beautiful and appealing than any more dramatic truth. Pinkie Pie was casting her ever-more rapid and worried little glances.
“It kinda sounds bad,” the pink mare commented, her ears threatening to droop.
“Not even a little bit. I love you too,” Rarity instantly replied, finding that giving the words was every bit as pleasant as receiving them. She angled herself a little closer to Pinkie Pie, leaning against her as they moved. Ahead, now, they could see all their friends waiting for them; Rainbow Dash pointed, and the other ponies waved and broke off their conversations, moving to meet them.
“If you thought it’d feel different, maybe we can try again?” Pinkie asked.
“Try again?” Rarity retorted, brow arched.
“Mhm!” Pinkie intoned. “We should get some cocoa and watch the snowfall tonight after the circus. I’ll bake some cupcakes, and I’ll tell you that I love you again!”
Rarity glanced over Pinkie Pie, the mare who had gradually become so very much more than a friend. It was hardly the recipe for love that she had set for herself years ago, and the suggestion was patently absurd, silly in the extreme.
And she couldn’t imagine anything she wanted more.
“That sounds absolutely lovely,” Rarity replied, rubbing her cheek against the giggling Pinkie Pie’s neck.
A/N stands for "Author's Notes", by the way. Hi, hi, hello, and thank you for reading! If this is the first fic of mine you read, then welcome to the shipyard! If it isn't, well, hi again, and I'm sorry to say I don't have a ton of interesting stuff to blather on about this time around.
Like I ever did, pshaw.
I would like to say thank you, though, to Kits, to Corma, to TAW and to Couch Crusader all for their help in editing, poking, opining and everythinging this fic until it's the best it can be.
I also want to extend my thanks to Kits again for the (tremendously awesome) cover art! I absolutely adore it, and having friends who are willing to do such things at the expense of their own time and sweat is amazing. Thank you.
I'll probably blab on about the writing process in a journal, but I will say this: thank you for taking the time to read this far, and if you enjoyed it, I would love to hear what you think! I try to reply to most of the comments, and if you mail me at cloudyskieswrites@gmail.com , I reply to every mail, too. I'm sociable, I promise!
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Wow. This is realy good. I was sort of expecting your next story to be a RariTwi in the "Where Earth Meets Sky" universe, but this is much better. Thank you.
Oh, and LOL to "The Shipyard">
Awesome end to a good ship.
Man, if only there was more Raripie as brilliant as this.
Also, I have just discovered that my phone has Raripie in its autocorrect dictionary. Capital R and everything. Huh.
I never would have thought of Rarity and Pinkie together, but you did this pairing perfectly
*Sees Description in the 'hot' thing*
*Figures 'why not take a look.'*
*Reads the description, thinks 'maybe I'll read it.'
*Sees that it is by Cloudy Skies*
*Insta-faves (in case I want to read it again and again like WEMS, W&WO and several other of your works) and gets right to reading*
1540477
You should read the awesomeness that is Seeking Beauty. The ship is pretty rare, though I think it's been getting a bit more love since Putting Your Hoof Down and The Last Roundup. Good job on the fic btw. It gave me a good amount of feels.
First time I recall ever reading a RariPie ship, and needless to say I'm quite pleased
I didn't expect it to be all that great, but then again I didn't expect RariJack or RariDash ships to be good either, and I've seen some good ones there too. All in all, a very nice and sweet shipfic. Kudos
1540584
I already have. Loved it.
But I don't get why this ship is so rare, as it works very well. The both want the same thing- making other people happy, but they go about it in different ways. And they are both creative in their own way, as this story hi-lighted. I find that their personalities, despite being so different, or maybe because of their differences, blend very well together.
Naval armada (nod) that's what we're here for.
Thanks for another lovely story Cloudy.
There aren't enough D'awws in the world for that ending. Very nice.
Cloudy's ship yard is the best ship yard. I wanted to hold off commenting on this one until I'd read it through, mostly because this is actually the first RariPie fic I've read, and didn't want to pass judgement too early. One thing I noticed in Ode to Friendship, and pretty much everything you've written where Pinkie was the (or one of the) main focus, is just how damn well you write Pinkie Pie. You don't try to write the visual humor that makes Pinkie work on screen, yet you write just enough for us to know that it's there. Instead you focus on her bubbly personality, and infectious attitude. Seriously, nearly every line Pinkie spoke had me smiling. You also never dip into that sin of writing of "HURRDURR EN DEN SHE BROK DER FORF WARL" (one of the reasons I've effectively stopped reading PinkieDash, which sucks, BECAUSE I LOVE PINKIEDASH! Ahahaha), which I appreciate to no end. You've even given a great insight to a character who I feel less than positive about as well.
As for the story, what can I say apart from the usual? It was written beautifully, it had all the sweet, the funny, and the downright cute moments I've come to expect from a Cloudy fic. Also, if I'm not mistaken, Stonard the pet rock is a nod to the Pie Sisters blog, yes?
This was a wonderful introduction to a ship I barely see, and I might even try it again if I see any good looking ones. Thanks for your hard work, and enjoy your break!
I have no particular love for the Raripie ship, but this was just so sweetly, elegantly done that I'm sad it's over. Nice job!
I totally saw the ending coming, but it was still good.
1540477
Autocorrect is fun like that.
I forgot to mention this on the last chapter, but "I thought we'd been dating for weeks!" Has to be the best line I've ever read in a romance story. ... well, no, second best. The best was, "She held one hand up and put the other on her hip, which she cocked to the side like a sexy teapot." Or something like that. Been awhile since I read that one.
But still. I like this. I think the nature of Pinkie makes her very easy to ship, if you know how to work her. And you work her very well. Continuing my other statement, I think Pinkie works best on a low setting, or in small doses.
I think I may have lost track of what I was talking about.
So, disregard all that if you wish and just know you did a great job.
Loved it! Such fabulosity!
Huzzah, I say, for the heartwarming tale that this was. I've not read all of Cloudy's stories yet, but the ones I have, I have enjoyed. I almost wish it could build up more slowly just so I could stay in the land of the warm fuzzies. The pacing is perfect the way it is though, and if it were longer, we'd need another conflict or else it might start to founder.
Pinkie Pie and Rarity are amongst my favorites of the Mane 6 - the other tie for first being Twilight - so it was a delight to read. The dialogue feels spot on, so much that I can hear the voice actors reading the lines.
Honestly, when I hear of pairings, my mind does not really jump to Rarity/Pinkie Pie but the explanation given works so well, it's strange that I've never really seen it before. Pinkie Pie's raison d'etre - of wanting to spread happiness to those around her - is what endeared her to me in the first place, and I love how it was the focus rather than her just being off-the-wall insane as she seems to be often portrayed.
I think my favorite scene was when both Rarity and Pinkie Pie were beneath the tent of covers. I do wish we could linger there a bit more, perhaps with a little more insight from Rarity and maybe some quiet happy Pinkie. The closeness, the muffled voices, dampened by the nearness of the covers, the radiant heat of another body close by, and the stillness...that's what I think of when they were there.
Thanks so much for your continued writing. I do truly appreciate having something wonderful to read, it does make life a little less grey, at least for a while.
1541015
This, so much. It helps me like Pinkie again, after having my headspace filled with all the massively-Flanderized versions of her that are so popular.
1542079
Same here.
The only thing I think is ooc(?) is Rarity comes to the decision to ask Pinkie Pie out quite quickly. She realises they've been hanging out more and jumps into the dating. I can easily see Pinkie Pie doing that because she would define dating as "two ponies eating meals and spending time together", but Rarity seems a little more...reserved maybe? I'm not quite sure how to define it, but maybe a day or two of reflection on her feelings would've been nice. The story is still very well written other than that little nitpicky part.
Once again you have created something amazing! This was an absolute pleasure to read, and I thank you for writing it. Your rendition of Pinkie is one of the best I've ever seen.
Please keep writing, I'll keep reading!
Thanks for another great read.
Overall, a very brilliant and enjoyable story. Thank you for letting us read it!
This story flows so naturally, the whole thing felt so believable. It's great to see some really well written Rarity shipping.
This right here proves to me that there is no such thing as a ship that doesn't work. It's entirely up to the author to make it work, and you did an amazing job. This was a perfect little story, and should be viewed more, but well, life is unfair.
"I thought we'd been dating for weeks now!"
Awesome as always, Mr. Skies.
Well another solidly wonderful story from Cloudy. I do appreciate the slow build and turn of emotion in your Rarity Writing, it seems the correct path given her highly dictated love fantasies. I also rather enjoyed Pinkie's toned down actions just to make Rarity happy, most would not tone Pinkie down for anything what so ever which can be a detractor in some cases (But all the same still quite amusing). Given Sweeties tendencies from the Hearts and Hooves day Episode i rather expected her to be a bit more involved in messing with Rarity's love interest once she notices it though i did not see it here it still would have been an endearing idea (Just a side note really). As for rare ships i do believe Apple-Pie is the rarest and i have yet to find a complete one to even try (Personally i like Twi-Shy as my rare ship so much help back emotion and build up is adorable).
All things together another good story, and as much as i dislike waiting for new material to read i can wait out a hiatus to read some more Cloudyskies Fan-fiction.
Hoorah! Yet another fine vessel has cleared it's maiden voyage! And there's enough warmth on this ship to last the winter!
But Pinkie Pie really thought that Rarity had asked her out?
As in we're a couple out? It's amazing how simple of a line like that can change the story 
Their time at the restaurant looked as normal as a dinner with friends could be (albeit, with Pinkie included all things considered). And Pinkie didn't seem to be making passes at Rarity. It says to me how much more Pinkie really, truly works to make to make her friends smile. Those times didn't call for romance. Rarity was distressed, and Pinkie was doing her best to make her happy.
So much needs to be said of how beautiful that is. I love this amazing story.
It should be illegal to have this much warmth is stowed away on a ship
I'm surprised it didn't capsize right at the climax. 
I've been an avid reader of yours for a while now...and I have to say, you never fail to bring a smile. As always, I look forward to more from you. Thanks a lot for your work :)
"I thought we'd been dating for weeks!" has to be the BEST line I've ever read in a fanfic. It was hilarious and heartwarming at the same time. It fits Pinkie so well too!
You are probably one of the best writers I've ever seen. Your pacing and characterizations in all you work is always spot on!
Enjoy your break!
This was really sweet and I enjoyed reading it! It's one of the better shipping stories I've read.
I've never read Raripie before, and I've actually never considered it. But I like how natural this felt. And I'm glad it's not much longer, because it would probably mean less.
Thank you!
Dat ending
You did a fantastic job of relationship building here, none of the usual "Oh I'm suddenly in super best love." You gave a very nice weight and time frame to their relationship. Something seemed off about the characters though, Rarity never seemed to become flustered enough considering she was rather deep in a creative slump and she seemed a little too accepting of Sweetie Belle's likely destruction of part of her Boutique. Pinkie also seemed a bit off, just not quite Pinkie enough at times... although I'm not sure how to quantify that, I can see her tempering herself a bit for Rarity but something about it felt off.
Anyway, again, fantastic job relationship building. I went the same angle with them both essentially wanting the same thing, to make ponies happy in 'I Dream of Pink' but I wasn't sure I could quite handle building up the relationship and make it interesting so I set my time frame a few months after it started and just did flash backs.
“I know. I wasn’t complaining,” Pinkie offered, grinning wide. “I had fun, and you know I love you.”
That's just wonderful. That is precisely how Pinkie Pie should confess love to someone. And I adore that Pinkie offers a do-over to her romance-loving girlfriend. A short but sweet coda to this short and sweet story.
Oh wow this ship is quite a Rarity! *Ba-Dum Tshh*
1542137 Some stories don't end at the first kiss. But most do because that tends to be the peak of relationship tension. It's harder past that point to maintain interest in the couple, because the drama was in 'will they or won't they?'.
Wanted to like it, couldn't. If anyone's going to ship Rarity, she'd better take care of Spike's feelings before diving into a relationship, otherwise the Rarity in your fanfic just appears cold and thoughtless, like she doesn't give a crap about his feelings. she didn't even think about him here. Isn't alread canon that Spike told Pinkie about his crush? What was she thinking this entire time?
Ye, it'll be cozy as long as there are no guys or dragons there with you to ruin everything.
I would say a better way is to spend it with all you friends, but the Elements of Harmony (apparently an exclusive club or somehing) would very much disagree.
Sorry I tried to like it, but the complete lack of consideration (even mention!) for a character whose given rarity his heart and shown her constant devotion throughout the canon series gave me a sick feeling with every chapter he went unmentioned. He wasn't even invited to the party at Sugarcube Corner. It suggests that all spike has ever done for rarity, all he feels for her, means nothing. No just nothing to Rarity but to the other mane 6, to you, and to everyone who loved this story (which I will not condemn them for, I'm just expressing my own viewpoint here).
This was very good. There need to be more Pinkie x Rarity stories.
1540192 Re-using your own fics like that has two problems. One is that it suddenly has a far more narrow appeal to the reader - which I really don't mind too much, since I still want to write the sidestory to a year-old fic etc - but the far bigger issue is that it isn't that interesting to me any more. The second I say "The End", I feel done and I'd rather try something new. WEMS is different because it was always meant to end with a wedding, and that hasn't happened yet, hah. It's a neat idea though, as an experiment!
1540389 Thanks!
1540460 I have no idea where I read that, but shipyard is best word, hah. Thank-you!
1540474 Thank you very much, I'm glad!
1540477 Your phone has excellent taste in ships.
1540538 Until five minutes before I started writing this, it really wasn't something I spent a great deal thinking about either, hah. But hey, it kinda works?
1540579 Haha, oh gosh. Seriously, thanks, and I appreciate what I take as a compliment, but no sense in clickin' anything before you know you like it!
1540584 Thankee!
1540595 Thanks! It's definitively not very popular as far as ships go, hah.
1540861 Smother the flames with hugs!
1540872 And thank you for reading!
1540941 Aw, thanks, am glad you think so!
1541015 Aw jeez, that's proper heartwarming words there, so thank you for that. I'm very glad you liked it! I halfway forgot to read fics that aren't TwiDash, I guess, so when I saw you commenting I was all wait, what? Haha.
While I truly am thankful for your words on Pinkie - because I agree - I imagine some will disagree and seek exactly that randomness and 4thwall-breaking Pinkie. I'm just glad if they can both be considered "valid" interpretations.
>Stonard the pet rock is a nod to the Pie Sisters blog, yes?
I had it in mind yep! I haven't read it in a long while, though, so it's not a direct port, just a nod, hah.
1541139 I'm starting to wonder if anypony will ever say "Oh yay! My OTP!", haha. No, seriously though, thanks!
1541404 Hee yeah, it wasn't really meant to be a huge revelation to the reader I guess, but I'm glad if you liked it!
1541489 I'm very happy to hear you think so; my only fear is that I might one day "use up" that card. Hopefully my license to do this refreshes between each fic!
1541725 Thank you, dear!
1541730 On the pacing: Yeah, I can definitively see that the fic could have been longer, but it's also true as you say that it'd need to have another element for me to do so, and I'd rather keep it very to-the-point. Consider this fic a reaction to writing Lost and Found, which is so multithreaded it's ridiculous, I guess.
At any rate, I'm really glad if the fic worked for you, and twice as glad that you highlighted one scene I was very nervous about peoples' reception of - the whole thing in Pinkie's room. I regret to say I actually agree that it could've been longer, too. One of my pre-readers actually suggested exactly that, and I failed to change it accordingly, so the failing there is entirely mine. I need to trust my pre-readers more, and I need to be better at listening/trying harder to edit, guh.
Thanks for reading!
1541734 Eek! Did I accidentally a reference again? Haha, damn, which and where?
1541804 Aw, hey, thanks, guy! I like your hair!
1541987 Grab my tail!
1542137 It's a natural stopping point, though I usually do write an epilogue past that (as I did here) - a classic, if you will. I don't always do this though. I try to vary things since I've written so many ship fics. This one felt like it worked with the simplest and sweetest of endings, to me, at least!
Thanks for reading, too!
1542673 I tried to bridge that gap with her simply being a little influenced by Pinkie's carefreeness then and there; in an earlier incarnation, the decision was very poorly built up to, but I tried to smooth that out. If it still felt a little jarring to you, I'm sorry to hear that, because I do see where you're coming from even if I felt I patched that, I really do.
1542793 Thank you ever so much!
1542890 You're very kind; thank you for your comment, and thanks for reading!
1542898 1543639 And thanks to you for reading it!
1543772 It was my first honest attempt at Rarity; I've not given her enough credit or attention. I'm glad if it worked for you, thanks!
1544031 It also means that the author is to blame for failing to sell a ship even if it's rare, but I'm glad if you felt this one didn't crash horrifically. Thank you!
1544643 Aw, thanks!
1545608 Restaurant business in Ponyville is cutthroat, but damn, you should see the plates (or was that platters?) in that shack; imported crystal from Canterlot, I'm sure! (Thanks for reading!)
1546920 Thanks! You should check out "Seeking Beauty" if you want more RariPie; I hear it's amazetastic!
1548104 Thanks for reading, and thanks for your comment! I'm sure I could've used Sweetie Belle more, honestly, I just struggled to make it feel natural, and the spotlight really was on Pinkie and Rarity. If I'd used her more, her inclusion near the end would've been all the sweeter though. Thoughts for next fic, as always!
Far as rarity (the lower case variant!) goes, I think the rarest five ships are all so rare that the positions there switch with each published fic, but ApplePie and AppleLight may just be the rarest, yeah. I really want to try both - but then, I want to write all ships eventually.
1548748 I honestly couldn't say what Pinkie actually thought. That mare ain't like other mares! Naw. Seriously, I consciously abstain from making those calls myself; if you read it as her treating it like dating from the get-go, that's just as valid as my own interpretation, but as I never commented on it in-fic. there's no "official" version. I imagine Pinkie decided she thinks Rarity is super neat at some point, and then that they were dating. She has an amazing ability to simplify things. I really like the idea you front though, that she didn't try to push anything when it was obvious Rarity was distraught. Too many ponies forget that while Pinkie can be hyper and random, she's a very caring pony, and she's shown she can dial herself down (or up!) as the situation demands.
Thank you very much for your thoughts and for your read!
1548751 And thanks to you for reading!
1550397 Thank you very much for your kind words; I'm happy to hear you enjoyed it!
1551368 It's rare to get a positive comment on length like this, and that makes it all the more pleasant. Thank you very much!
1552078 Thank-you!
1552234 You're very kind to say so, thank you for your comment and for reading, too! For the record, I'm a terrible cook.
1562355 Thanks!
1567014 It was fun to try to balance avoiding the "suddenly in love" (which is comparatively easy) with a two-part story that's shipping to everypony but the main character. My arguments for Rarity's "stability" (and Pinkie), well, hm. I think part is that I tone down characters to fit writing - just like Pinkie Pie doesn't translate to written from if you want her breaking the fourth wall (unless it's random-comedy), I found it hard to reconciliate Rarity's most dramatic of antics to text. Instead, I opted to make the drama internal; her snubbing Flutters a tiny bit, indulging herself etc etc., those were meant to be the tells. When it comes to the rest, it's simply because this fic is written post-S2, and the ponies have progressed, not regressed. People who write Fluttershy as a stuttermutterbuttermumblefumbleShy forget that it's not S1E1 any more.
It's not for me to sit around here and "disagree" with what you felt was off, mind you! Just presenting my view. It's always confusing when you get praise and critique for the exact same thing, so I just resort to trying to explain my reasoning, hah.
Thank you very much for reading!
1567720 1567827 1568037 Hogosh, Donny commenting on my RariPie? I need a moment.
Okay. Damn. Yay! I'm very glad if that fit, because writing that scene, I knew there was always the risk that some would object: despite the fact that I agree with you that the Rarity of "today" is more like this, having her act in this way still registers as un-Rarity. It brings attention to change, and I wasn't sure it was done right.
>Applejack knoooooows. I would not be surprised if the rest of them do, too. It's funny and cute, both at once.
I just have to comment here: I keep doing this. I can't ever write a shipfic without having obliviousness/the others always being in on it. I'm sick and need help.
I wonder if you feel the ending was better off with or without the epilogue, considering you commented both pre and post epilogue. It felt like (and was commented on by pre-readers) as a "could go either way" thing, but I have this obsession with epilogues and stuff.
Regardless, thank you ever so much for reading and commenting! I'm gonna pony the heck up and read Seeking Beauty one day, I hope.
1585926 Oh you.
1587136 Huh. I'm conflicted.
On one hoof? I agree with you on something I agree with, state, and admit after every fic I write, particularly my adventures; I'm bad at giving Spike his dues. Spike heads to Canterlot, the Cakes are on vacation, and then the fic starts, that's pretty much how a lot of my stories operate. As far as this goes, I sort of agree in that I wish I could've baked him in, made him a seamless part of at least a few of the scenes. Given him a role on par with the other acting non-main characters.
At the same time? That's the point where I disagree with you. Spike isn't a main character of the story, and he isn't a bigger part of Rarity's life than the other mane6 are. His is a kid's crush (he's a baby dragon), and I find it pretty unlikely that Rarity thinks any more of it beyond that it's "sweet". She indulges him only insofar as it's harmless.
Perhaps you disagree. Perhaps you feel that Spike x Rarity isn't an OTP, but canon waiting to happen or something, but that's not how I see it. If you went into this story -- which doesn't have Spike as a main character -- expecting that it involves Rarity "breaking it off" with Spike because you feel they have something, then I'm sorry our views don't align. If you're sitting there feeling that you have to mention you're not angry with those who like a story for a reason that's probably never crossed the minds of most, then that may be a problem.
Anyway, I thank you for taking the time to type out your thoughts, I truly do; I always prefer knowing why someone dislikes a story, I just can't mesh with these reasons. I'm sorry if I come off as crass here, but this really, really blindsided me.
1588196 Two words: Donny's Boy!
1588576
Nah, it wasn't jarring at all, just something that could have been there, but is easily explained away subconsciously as you read it. I had only really noticed it once I was done with the (amazing) story anyway.
Also, I agree and disagree with you on Rarity's thoughts of Spike in your reply to MarshmallowSundae. It can be a good story when she confronts him on his crush (see "Dammit Twilight, I Love You"), but it is a crush that should not be allowed to affect her romantic interests in anyway. People may say that's uncaring/cold/bitchy, but really, when you were at high school would the pretty girl have to talk to every single guy who may be interested in her about their feelings before pursuing one of them to not be considered a bitch? No.
Alright, Cloudy, time for me to roll my sleeves up and tell you just what I think about this little S.S. Raripie you have set out on the windowsill.
While everything is still fresh, I have to go over what I didn't like first. And sadly, that is every character that isn't Pinkie Pie, and to a lesser extent, Rainbow Dash. Twilight, Fluttershy, and Applejack felt like cardboard cutouts of their characters, and I really didn't feel drawn to them - especially having read both Where Earth Meets Sky and it's followup. So color me weirded out when they don't sound the same. They aren't the breath of life into the secondary characters that I expect from you.
That said, you'll notice how I didn't really group Rarity in with the rest of the Mane 6, and I'll let you know why– I didn't feel like we were seeing Rarity most of the time. She felt... different. A possible Rarity, maybe, but not the pony we've come to know and love. It's somepony I could see her, let's say, becoming further down the line. It was really distracting for me, because she was so wonderfully written, this Rarity-esque character, but Rarity herself didn't seem to be making an appearance(except for chapter... what was it, three? When she took Pinkie out for a farce of date). Wonderful character, just not exactly the Rarity I've come to know.
Pinkie Pie was fantastic and probably the single best characterization of the party pony I have ever seen, but this isn't a surprise after reading your DashiePie fic. Still, it was just about as beautiful of a description with words as I could hope to read. I cannot express fully just how gratifying it was to see her. I think it's because you write her almost as if she's just an old friend to you, and by extension, an old friend to your readers. We know Pinkie, and you really let her be Pinkie in all her glory. Brilliant moments with Pinkie always making 'almost logic'.
Overall, the story was solid, and Rarity's growth as she realizes she cares for Pinkie is clear(if a bit jagged). The Epilogue is a great touch, as this is seriously a moment where the plot has ended but there is still so much more to say. This isn't your best work(I am biased to a good AppleShy, and there were more beautiful moments in that than this), but it is far from bad. It's still great. Your focus is where it needs to be, and for the faults I've had with it, they really are just tiny little details that I doubt many others will find issue with. It's good work, and I really do mean it when I say 'please continue writing.' It's really just a massive treat whenever you upload a new story.
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Oh hey pononymous, didn't see you there. To answer your question, it was 'cherry'.
1588949
Huh? You'll have to remind me what the question was.//dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_TwilightWut.png
1588659
I think I figured out why Pinkie felt off to me, it wasn't because of her not breaking the 4th wall, frankly that kind of annoys me since it is one of those things that just usually pulls me out of a story. Anyway, I think what felt off is that Pinkie didn't feel impulsive enough. Pinkie is random, but even more than that is that she is impulsive, she tends to think of things and do them before thinking about them, I didn't really get the feeling she was doing that in the story.
1588659 It's the fact that it rarely crosses anyones mind that bothers me. Even if she just sees him as a kids with a harmless crush, she does care about him and would take care not to hurt him when falling for somepony else. Besides, any author could get it out of the way in two sentences. Pinkie asks how Spike might take their relationship (which she inevitably would), rarity tells her he got over his crush and moved on. Simple as that.
1588703 It's still very much a valid point, I'm just trying to figure out exactly what gives that effect, that's all. Thank you for your comment! As far as the whole Spike deal goes -
1589164 Without going into too much detail, I've seen this exact thing happen. Someone's kid brother had a crush on a friend of mine, and she knew it. Everyone knew it. It was exactly like this; a child's crush. When she started dating a guy, there was no period of adjustment, there was no talk, because he's a kid. He actually got a little sad, for a short period of time, but that was it. She did not feel compelled to - nor did she have an obligation to - explain to a friend's kid brother that she was gonna go on a date.
You can bring up Secrets of my Excess and suggest that they do have something; I'd say that what they have is a friendship, and that Rarity is flattered, but she knows it'll never be, just like Spike either knows it too, or has no concept of what goes into a relationship. (His mental age varies a lot between eps)
I'm sorry, again, if I sound aggressive here. That's not my intent. But I feel it's about as relevant and important a question to answer as "if Pinkie Pie moves in with Rarity, will Pinkie still work at Sugarcube Corner?" Of course it can be done well, and if the fic was longer and had a broader scope, I'd probably give a nod of my head to it, but it's not, and I don't feel that it's a necessity or something that needs to be addressed.
1589114 Yeah, that's fair enough; I don't really know how to comment on that because I'd have to go back through the fic and review each scene, but thank you for your input! Pinkie is damn hard to write to everypony's satisfaction.
1588949 Dang. Okay, first, hi! Second, thank you for reading!
I am a little confused by your kicker there, not just because it's of course always unpleasant to get negative feedback, but because the "cardboard cutout" comment doesn't really mesh with your conclusion that later relegates that to being "minor stuff". To me, characterization is everything, so the same part of me that's incredibly happy to hear that Pinkie Pie worked for you, is the one that raises the red flag and panicks at this point. Why are they cardboard cutouts? What can I do to prevent that? Why did not my pre-readers alert me to this, and why is this the first I hear of this? Granted, ponies who aren't Fluttershy average six lines, but still I wonder. In fact, is this exactly why?
(And of course you had to sneak in a compliment on WEMS there. That's like catnip for me. Damn you.)
Rarity, I don't know what to say 'bout. I mean, you've read it now, so I can't exactly sit you down and try to serve a simple "see, she was a bit depressed" or something; you know the score, and obviously you still don't feel she meshes. I answered another commenter up there saying that I suppose I've done with Rarity some of what I did with Pinkie; change antics that'd otherwise only fit animation. Is she simply too undramatic?
I don't know. This is the first time I've given Rarity this big a role.
I guess I just struggle to reconcile the flaws you highlight with the words "tiny little details"; am I right in assuming Rarity's is simply a case of her acting too subdued? I don't mean to hound you and try to eat of your time here, but I must admit to some concern!
1588576 The problem with people seeking out a "random" and "fourth wall breaking" Pinkie (though I despise using that term in a sense), is that it plain doesn't work in fiction. Pinkie is very much a visual comedy prop than a literary one, so it's heartening to see you, instead of "and then she appeared out of a pot plant", with her, rather explore her character.
That's not to say she can't work in a literary sense, having recently read an interpretation on that which I enjoyed greatly in The Incredibly Troubled Mind of Rainbow Dash, that part on the clouds was just a perfect example of what I feel should be done if people want to portray Pinkie's randomness.
And TwiDash isn't the only thing I read, it just makes up the majority. I'm just enjoying it while the gettin's good, considering that especially before Read It and Weep, you could count the number of good TwiDash fics on one hand, two if you looked hard enough, ahahahaha! I enjoy all ships really, as long as the person portraying it can properly justify it, then I can dig it, which is a good reason why I like your ship fics. As I stated, this fic actually gave a nice insight to a ship I don't normally see, but it gave good enough reasons on how it could work!
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The reason I feel they are cardboard cutouts is fairly simple, and it works along the same lines as Rarity. The way I see them right now, as I read them, is that I wasn't reading Twilight Sparkle, but rather 'Plot Device pony named Twilight Sparkle.' Their roles are so small in your fic I question their use, and that happens most annoyingly with why Pinkie has to come by 'later' to help Rarity. Good scene, but I had to lean back and wonder, "Why Twilight? Twilight brings a large amount of thought and character to the table, but she's being used as a thing." I didn't much mind it until we hit the end and nothing came of her little, let's say, cameo there. She had Pinkie for the afternoon. Yes, these things happen. Friends hang out with other friends, but the decision to use Twilight brings with it a lot of baggage for the reader. She was a major distraction.
Same went to RD and Pinkie laughing out in the open(but to a much lesser effect). Again, your decision to use a Mane 6. Good to use in passing, but the scene was important, and we saw nothing come of the use of Rainbow Dash. She was just there. I again was forced to carry all my knowledge of Rainbow Dash into every further encounter, expecting for some payoff, some reason, why she was brought into the fic. You expertly handled this in, again, Where Earth Meets Sky. Everypony who had a role had a payoff. Here, they were fodder for a scene, and that is extremely distracting to me.
Rarity felt too mature. She's a mature pony, yes, but she never seemed to really portray as we know her in the show. She was too undramatic because here, she was completely undramatic(except, of course, for the scene in the restaurant. Which as said, was a crowning achievement of a chapter). Rarity has quirks, and in this, she felt too... unquirky. All her little flings of were sanded off, and you can't discount that to sheer depression– there's a good majority here where she's happy! Where her quirks would really shine, even, she was... restrained. Like she only had one more lesson to learn in the world and that's what this story was about. I suppose that's where my issue comes from. I didn't see those wonderful little flaws.
Which considering this is your first big Rarity role, I can forgive. She's still a strong character, she's just not the... right character. Not entirely. She isn't, so to speak, the poor man's Rarity. No, she's more upper-middle-class. A bit more down-to-Earth then the Rarity we see struggling to be the Pony Everypony should Know. So yes. Subdued would be a good word to use here, but a bit... too much.
What's brilliant is the fact that Rarity is shining example of a pony who 'Fakes it 'till she makes it'. In this fanfic, she's already made it, and she has no reason to fake it anymore. So she would become mildly more subdued, but... she lost her more 'blue-collar' quirks.
Been a while since Ive read fanfiction. Glad I read yours! Keep up the great work and thanks for the amazing read.