Reset Password
Resend Verification Email
7
21
23
104
1,197
<
RaijingtheClockworkPony
Joined March 2012
250 followers
104
1,197
0
58479
292049
RaijingtheClockworkPony
7
21
23
Joined March 2012
250 followers
Groups
-
29w, 2dShipping
-
27w, 3dIncomplete
104
1,197
1,197 ( 9,442 )
More
Less
Comments ( 104 )
Post Comment
Refresh
please
Dash chocked on her drink at the mention of a coltfriend.
Would you believe that misspelling that word is a more common error than using the wrong "to"?
Nitpicking aside, good job on another fantastic chapter. I really like where you're going with this. Soarin x AJ might be my favorite pairing for him, but Fluttershy pulls a lose second. And with how you've built his character in this story their date promises to be wonderfully awkward.
Fluttershy and Soarin'? Ok not a paring I would have thought of since I tend to concentrate on Soarin' being Twilight or Applejack, but I think you are making it work. Background paring of CheeriMac, nice don't see that too often.
*reads the end* Oh dear this won't end well...
Great update, but I found some typos....
"Soarin' moved to the side of the sofa closer to her. This action only made the shy mare hide behind her mane once more. He paused and the room went silent for the third time. A question came to his mind after a few seconds that he knew he probably shouldn't ask but couldn't stop himself from doing so.
"If you knew I was a Wonderbolt then why did need to ask my name?"
As she talked they had gone around and fed the rest of the animals, giving each type of animal their own feed and helping the injured or sick ones by feeding them. He was currently holding a small hedgehog in in his and was holding a small bottle so it could drink.
Umm, you wouldn't mind fixing them.... they just sound awkward.
Here we go.
You know... I think this was the best choice for sure. 
It was better than FlutterMac, anyway... 
And Featherweight... you should know better. Take it from Spider-Man.
Image: http://narwhaler.com/img/rr/h/but-thats-wrong-you-retard-spiderman-RRhutS.jpg...Err... actually, not too sure... you know, I think we'll settle on this...
Image: http://i.neoseeker.com/mgv/574321-Liege/321/103/roflbot_display.jpgCool.
I-i mayb b-be a ponybot b-b-but i feel emotion-BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT
Image: http://mashable.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/win8bsod.jpg
A coup is military revolution, and has nothing to do with chickens.
A coop is a what you're meaning.
I'd also like to point out that you are missing a ton of commas.
Also, I doubt Flushy would kiss somepony after only a few hours with them, even with things going well. That's just my conjecture, though.
Even still, I haven't stopped reading, yet.
Yeah...tabloid journalism never ends well, just ask the cutie mark crusaders. So he's either gonna make up some made up story or he's gonna make it to where they can't enjoy any peace and quite. There are 2 parties that know the truth 100%: Fluttershy and Soarin', Spitfire and Dash because they set their best friends up in the first place.
>>1694674 As of right now I have no clue why it says this story has updated. This happened to one of my other stories earlier this month and I'm wondering if it was merely a glitch. I'm sorry for getting your hopes up for nothing. However if it makes you feel any better I am nearly done with the next chapter and hopefully it will be up for real later today.
>>1681636 Also what chapter is that mistake in?
>>1694769 No, no blog. I was editing one of my already released stories. (Duality if you're curious.) and then a friend of mine told me that he noticed an update on this story. I'm still trying to find out what happened. Most likely I hit something with out noticing or it's a glitch. The silver lining to this though is that it really made me want to finish this chapter. So yeah...
A few adorations, a few suggestions.
Adorations
1) First, Draft Punk 
I love them!!!!
2) Such a cute story.
3) I love the accuracy of your depiction of the National Enquirer
Suggestions
1)
notoriously famous
This should be "infamous"
2) The sentence structure makes it hard to understand your points sometimes.
3) Just Soarin, no apostrophe needed.
Overall, I love this so far!!!!!! Keep it up
>>1697862 Actually his name does have the ' in it. Both the wiki and his creator(Amy Keating Rogers) use the spelling I use. I'm not trying to sound rude or anything by this I just wanted to point that out. I've seen people use one spelling and others use the other spelling. Both are fine to me so long as I stay consistent.
I like the development you put into this chapter. Things are going to get interesting from here on out, and I look forward to every minute of it. Just don't fall into the cliche where everything goes to hell, they break up over a misunderstanding, and then one of them (probably Soarin') has to go and make a big, dramatic public apology to get their "happily ever after". I hate that cliche...
On a side note, there were several spelling errors and one or two grammatical errors I noticed in the latter half of the chapter (starting from when Soarin' leaves his house to get the bagels). I didn't reread the first half that got accidentally posted earlier this morning to see f the few I saw up there were fixed, so they may or may not still be there.
)
All of my feels. This was amazing.
.
If it's the same eagle from the Find a Pet Episode, then it's bad ass because it can f**king sew. You're cold, BAM, the eagle just made you a sweater, you lost your socks in the dryer, BAM, the eagle as knitted you a pair of socks.
Image: http://i.imgur.com/t40bS.jpg
Throwing those letters away may not be the best idea, as they might contain important information such as your formerly (possibly still) abusive parents deciding to swing by to visit their suddenly celebrity daughter. Forewarned is forearmed after all. 
If they cause trouble, here's hoping Soarin's there to let 'em have it.
A knitting eagle is awesome. You're old afghan blanket got messed up via forgetting to put the washer on the delicate setting *BAM* the eagle has not only fixed it, but has improved upon it. The eagle provides cunning, speed, companionship, America, the ability to claw the eyes out of critics and warm sweaters and knickknacks.
Shade gets Rarity's Stamp of Approval 
Image: http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/307/f/8/rarity__s_stamp_of_approval_by_tiwake-d5jucs1.png
you sir are a bucking genious! the whole pen pal idea was amazing to say the least and i almost fell out of my chair laughing when i realised that flank sinatra basically meant 'butt sinatra'. and ive never been too keen on the rarity spike thing but the way you wrote it makes me okay with it. over all BRAVO! i cant wait for the next update!
I really enjoy this story and can't wait for the next update! Thank you for not immediately going 'all the way' with Soarin' and Flutters, it shows a maturity evident in very few fanfics I've read. I really empathize with Soarin' as I'm a shy guy that hates being in the spotlight (except when performing of course). I think you described perfectly the way the masses fade out of existence during a performance; I've felt it many times performing with my instrument. Poor Dash! My friend recently told me he's bi, so I understand what she's going through. Great great fic, keep up the stellar work!
Image: http://u18chan.com/uploads/data/13325/HNNNG_70e605a3e94b6e1cf15388df036394b0_u18chan.jpg"So Donny, want to go get a pizza? My treat."
I see what you did there. 
Also, Fluttershy's parents subplot is returning. I had a feeling that it wasn't going to disappear with the first attempt. I still feel that somepony should try and find out what they're after. Preemption is the best prevention after all.
Anonymous comments currently disabled. Please register to make comments
Cancel
Send