Definitely adding to my watch list.

Me likey

This looks promising. You have a few problems with using the right words in the right context, but nothing too bad.

“So, it’s not so dangerous actually?”

It sounds a bit forced. "So, it's not that dangerous?" or something similar would fit better, I think.

Who would risk his live don’t knowing what for?

Should be life

Looking forward to more!

>>14762621476262

Thx for pointing that out. Changed it, because it really sounds better.

Oh no, this isn't going to be as heartbreaking as that other fic where Rainbow met Daring but she wasn't an adventurer but a real archaeologist and they didn't get along at all?

If so I don't think I can take the sads.

Your OC avatar looks like Trixie. This pleases Trixie.

Ah, from Germany... *jealousy rising...

JK man but seriously, I would like to go there sometime.

But yeah if you need an editor just ask.

but yeah anyway, I like where this story is going so far. Hope you continue it.

This story has met my requirements of excitement and humor. Yet this is not yet sufficient to my needs. so...

Image: http://smilepanic.com/wp-content/uploads/MOAR8.jpg

future Wonderbold and the element of loyalty.

I'm sure this was just an inocent slip-up

Possible good story. i just thought it was a little too rushed. pace it

Faved, seems like this could be really good.

>>14766521476652

No, that was me sleeping actually. Mistakes can be made

>>14766791476679 None of us are perfect so you are forgiven

mmmm i like this story, it seems that it has a lot of thing to work on it

only one mistake: Wonderbold ..... is Wonderbolt

good job my friend, Greetings from Peru.

Very very nice, I await the next chapter with Joy

This was good fun.  I'd like to see more.

>Las Pegasus for his casinos and so on.

Should actually be

>Las Pegasus for its casinos and so on.

And I liked seeing the villains mentioned in it...

... I love this. I hope you continue this! I spotted a few errors with word choice, but that's only things picky people will point out!

“My weather duty is done, AJ is up in Manehatten to visit her uncle and aunt and Twilight is re shelving the entire library, again!”

Should include a comma after ' and aunt' and I think you should connect re-shelving with a hyphen. It just looks better to my picky eye. This is still awesome!

>>14766521476652

Wonderbolds

....Geddit?

Will definitely watch this for more.

Interesting.

Proceed.

Daring Do...

She's not who she seems to be in her books.

Not sure if it's been done before, so this story is of a somewhat original concept to me. +1 follower.

That said, there are countless little errors here and there. If no one else steps up to offer their services as an editor, let me know; I'd be happy to help out, even if I'm not the best of writers.

The party is most impressed, Faving and tracking

Your grammar is a bit botched, but I can excuse that because (at least I assume) your first language is German. So don't sweat it.

Looking forward to more.

Wait what is this?  

A Rainbow Dash and Daring Doo story that is actually...  good?  

...

OH! MY! GOSH!  

You just got yourself another watcher for this story. And he enjoys it  

You need to proof read this, there are a number of mistakes here.

>>14785961478596

No need to be, you know, helpful and point them out or anything.

>>14786091478609 No need to be an ass.

Who would risk his life don’t knowing what for?

There both mares

>>14786151478615

I believe the term is smart-ass, what you did was more "ass" like.

>>14788621478862

They're <---

It would be best as, "Who would risk their life without knowing what for."

>>14789491478949 Well at least you didnt moan at me for trying to help some pony

"Who would risk his life don’t knowing what for?" i don't know why but the don't in there looks realy awkward.

That cover art never ceases to amuse me.

Cool beans! Another Rainbow Dash / Daring Do fic... Fave and Following!

Pretty good so far...!

Need Moar

Gruß aus München

>>14789691478969 well, the author DID mention this is his first attempt to write something in english. I'll allow some errors as he navigates his way through this mine field we call a language. If he keeps up this level of quality, a misplaced comma or unnecessary word won't bother me one bit.

>>14791871479187 I know I was just saying.

>>14790631479063

I just lost my sides.

This story has caught my interest....proceed

Great story, but lots of grammatical errors that might be perfectly fine in German. However, in English, it feels slightly unnatural. Do you have a proofreader?

Und nun, für den deutschen via Google Translate.

Tolle Geschichte, aber viele grammatische Fehler, die möglicherweise völlig in Ordnung in deutscher Sprache. Allerdings in Englisch, es fühlt sich etwas unnatürlich. Haben Sie einen Lektor?

>>14794401479440

I can understand English quite well, thank you very much. Writing on the other hoof...

To answer your question, no, I don't have a proofreader. It's not like they're growing on trees.

BTW: Google Translator is horrible. I think your translation made less sense than Pinkie Pie.

If anypony would volunteer I would send him a gdocs links with chapter 2. It's finished on the writing part but

still needs some correction.

>>14794751479475

Didn't mean to offend you if I did.

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png

Howeve, to make less sense than Pinkie Pie...

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Pinkie_Pie_lolface.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Pinkie_Pie.png

I'm not available to do so yet, so if anypony else wanted to step up to the plate, I'd say use them. I won't be available until about the end of the month.

>>14795321479532

I didn't mean to sound angry. More sarcastic in relation to the Google Translator.

I can better understand English than his so called German translation.

>>14794751479475

This could go many ways, and the way it looks like it's going looks good.

I've never been a proof-reader before, I guess I'll give it a try if you need one.

>>14795841479584

I'd also be willing to preread for your stuff. It seems interesting so far, and I wanna what you can make of it!

This is  good, you need some editing though, some people get really rustled with some of your mistakes, but you're doing fine by me.

I can already see how this is going to go. I've had the same trouble meeting a few authors who rather enjoy embellishing their stories.

Rainbow must be Really pissed that she's made to look like a wimp

Well, this is... interesting... In a good way.

I think it might be a common idea that Daring Do wrote the books herself, but this is the first "Daring Do is a real pony" story I've ever really read, so I don't really know.

Congrats on getting in the feature box, btw.

Liking where this is going, but one typo reaaaallly stood out.

“Ahhhhhhhhh!” Daring shrieked and jumped into cover behind Rainbow. (This definitely needs an exclamation mark. Reads a bit differently without it.)

Rainbow Dash will definetly get into the "URGE... TO KILL... RISING!" mode, besides, they are now in the perfect place for a murder... The Everfree Forest, Alone by themselves, with no wintees, and nopony knows they're actually there, with actually very seriously dangerous animals roaming around, cliffs, Posion Joke, perfect to even make it look like some kind of unfortunate accident or she was attacked, mauled and eaten by a random beast

it looks like Rainbow will invite Pinkie some Daring Do theme home-made CUPCAKES!

It looks like This will be the last issue of Daring Do... if it somehow gets managed to be published

Rainbow dash learning the sad truth. Book heros almost never are like the book makes them out to be.

Like the old saying goes, "Never meet your heroes"

>>14764001476400 Do you see a sad tag? =/

damn this is getting good, fav'd for sure

a few small things i found so far...

But what Rainbow really struck was the fact that Daring Do was referring her.

Quiet noises could be heard after she finished talking

I had to do something against these wooden predators or this would be not only my last adventure, since I was responsible for the life of my new friend.

other than that...keep it coming :D

grüßle aus schwaben

greetings from England my German friend! No mistakes that I could see in this chapter so well done.

Heh... alright this is a good story so far. Please proceed!

Oh and have pictures.

Image: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/18887581/images/1335576400163.jpg

Image: http://thumbs.newschoolers.com/index.php?src=http://www.topstrange.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/Ultimate-Moar-Collection-35.jpg&size=200x300

Well, this is certainly getting more interesting!  

It's really interesting to me that this is the first time I've come across Daring with this characterization. Usually, she's a full-fledged adventurer, or even when her story's been embellished somehow, she still has some legitimate explorer prowess to back it up. In this, she's just... an author. Like I said, it's definitely out of the norm.

>>14766521476652 Looks more like serendipity to me.

>>14780831478083 That only works for that fantasy human Indiana Jones...

>>14804961480496 It's worse when the "adventurer" is the author, and what you saw isn't what the readers get.

It's been done a few times, in various places, and the "hero-shock" never really goes away.

I can see worse:  Twilight meeting Starswirl and learning a few things not in his journals.

... Forgive me for saying this, but...

...

In a bucking refrigerator!

Meet Tom Clancy.  He's nothing like Jack Ryan or John Clark.

I will continue watching.  This has distinct possibilities.

>>14822701482270 wasent Starswirl a magician that wrote down his spells?

>>14823511482351 Yes, but I said journals, not spell compendia. Big difference.

>>14823721482372 that is if he has journals and that twilight read them.

Edit: forget that last part if he has journals twilight has read them.

>>14823761482376  Yes, but does everypony write down everything?  

I'm sure Twi wouldn't want to read 'Swirl's comments about Celestia's flanks, for example. "Oh, my innocence is gone!"

Please note the salt-shaker at my elbow; it's a hint.

The concept is great, but you REALLY need a pre-reader, and maybe a couple editors as a safety-net. Not to insult, but I actually can't finish this. I lose all immersion each time I hit a section with really rocky and awkward wording.

AWESOME!

I'd be able to correct some of the grammatical errors and whatnot it you need anyone

Aside from the grammar/wording, I like the concept

>>14764001476400

What fic was that?

great story so far

...and after enduring several hours of this nonsense, Rainbow Dash flew away, and Daring Do was never heard from again.

The End.

Oh wait.  Element of Loyalty.  Ponyfeathers.

This reminds me of Gilderoy Lockhart from Harry Potter, maybe Dash ends up roflpwning her and Daring ends up in the hospital with brain damage

>>14839371483937 If that ends up happening I will be on the floor in laughing.

Dawwww look at you, yesterday you were a part of the bad story section and now? You made it to the box thing!

>>14805201480520 Words of wisdom there.

Beautiful... just beautiful

That isn't Daring Do, that's just some sexy teacher lady!

GAH!! I was going to dress as Daring Do for nightmare night, now you've ruined it for me!

But really, I like the fic, I'm interested to see where it's going, keep up the good work.

If I were Rainbow, I'd at least ask to play an equally courageous role, and be mentioned by name. Seriously, the way she is portrayed in the book is just degrading; even if it is just for embellishment, I'd be fucking PISSED

MOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

BHUT OH MY GOD, dARING TELL ME THAT YOU ARE NOT A FULL-of-lies- pegasus

I think that Rainbow Dash is going to learn a bitter truth: No idol is entirely as she imagined. I think that Daring Do is going to turn out to be a lot like Lockhart in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets - a better writer than adventurer who takes credit for other ponies' efforts.  Disappointing, I know.  Maybe she was a better pony once but fame, fortune and the grief of injury (no Pegasi could ever really get over being grounded) has forever changed her approach.

>>14870861487086 Or maybe she's just a writer of fiction and Dash, being the athlete she is, has no idea what fiction is.

You're all so far away from the ending I have planned

..heh, tis has a good vibe..

Oh great, THIS kind of thing. What is it with autobiographers that makes them dramatize EVERYTHING?

Interesting concept, fairly decent execution. I'd like to see more please.

i love the idea, and having taken german for three years at school i know how bad translators are for german and english, but , even though largely correct grammar and such, it all feels a bit... off-putting. i'll pay attention and such, but an editor would do you wonders.

One small piece of critique: The characters use almost no contractions. Like can't, won't, he'll, I'll, etc. it makes their dialogue sound a bit unnatural and formal, especially for someone like Rainbow Dash.

This looks like a very interesting story Keep up the good work I shall be watching from the shadows

Image: http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/035/a/3/ninja_rainbow_dash_by_haephestos-d4onnnl.png

>>14817791481779

Image: http://i.neoseeker.com/mgv/574321-Liege/321/46/mlfw2604luna_saw_what_you_did_there_display.jpg

Well, Rainbow Dash is now gonna hate Daring Do because of how much of a fake she is, great job Well, what we need is for Rainbow to save Daring's stupid flank from some shit or something Keep up the  good work, I will be watching from the shadows

Image: http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/035/a/3/ninja_rainbow_dash_by_haephestos-d4onnnl.png

I feel bad for the timberwolf puppy, it only wanted to play

And Rainbow, you really realize that the books you read are fictions, right? Ah you silly pony

Oh my GOD the grammar is horrible. But the story is interesting enough, that I won't downvote it.

EDIT: Like, seriously... The grammar is shit.