part was through reading i was already blown away by how descriptive it was, a very fine job indeed.

A ALICORN!  What kind of crazy author has a OC alicorn!

>.>

<.<

*Adds to read later*

That was short, but very well written. Good job

>>14744861474486 o,0 you do know that's lauren faust as a pony right?

This was amazing well written, good job cant wait to see what else you write

I expect great things from this story, and so does Pinkie.

Image: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7OndL0rUYwY/TvFkteMbOGI/AAAAAAAACC8/zfTwyevXmVc/s400/101286+-+animated+grin+pinkie_pie+smile+squee.gif

You wouldn't want to let Pinkie down, now would you?

Just Kidding, but seriously, this was great.

You deserve a dance.

Image: http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/274/2/2/hello_my_baby_by_aguantegrimtales-d4bi9rg.jpg

"leather-bound book"

Holy cheese and crackers!

1) Break up your paragraphs!

2) Space out your paragraphs!

3) Watch out carefully for proper punctuation use!

{example: “I suppose, I may as well get started.” The mare spoke. ===> “I suppose, I may as well get started," the mare spoke. }

I won't downvote this, but I sure can't really... you know... treat it seriously at the moment, sorry...

>>14744861474486

this is your Goddess.

Image: http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/210/f/0/lauren_faust_the_empress_2_0_by_europamaxima-d5929m0.jpg

worship her.

This was really well written, and it served your intentions perfectly. Great job! It isn't often a story, (or a beginning of one) turns out exactly as the author has said it would, but this is it!

>>14831961483196 we are her bronies, and we shall know no fear

>>14940351494035

No land shall be beyond her sovereignty, no creature beyond her friendship.

The hoof of the Goddess protects and guides us all..

Harmony be with us...