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Brimstone 1799

Joined September 2012
18 followers

    Brimstone's Stories (1)

    • Stacking stones
      You wake up in a forest. You can't remember anything about yourself. What do you do? Play it by ear

      10,724 words · 891 views · 70 likes · 4 dislikes

    What's a guy to do when he wakes up in a forest with nothing but the clothes on his back and a headache that could smite a titan? Simple. He plays it by ear.

    This is the story of a man who wakes up somewhere unfamiliar, and without any familiar memories.

    Retrograde amnesia is not an acceptable substitute for proper bedding.

    First Published
    20th Oct 2012
    Last Modified
    28th Nov 2012

    Comments ( 75 )

    #1 · Chapter 1 · 34w, 3d ago · · ·
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    wow, this writing style is pretty cool

    #2 · Chapter 2 · 34w, 3d ago · · ·
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    update? awesome

    #3 · Chapter 2 · 34w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Do yourself a favor before you go any further and rewrite this story so it's not in second-person. Fiction should never be written in second-person. It's condescending to the reader. (Unless it's a choose your own adventure type story where the reader actually has some choice in the outcome) And many readers will flat out refuse to read fiction that is written in second person.

    #4 · Chapter 2 · 34w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>1475411 2nd person is actually becoming a rather popular format for stories like this on this site.

    #5 · Chapter 2 · 34w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>1475411

    In the words of The Dude, "Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man."

    But seriously, it really is. I've seen many pieces of fan fiction and actual literature that were second-person and did just fine.

    It helps greatly with the situation of this story, because it allows for more fluid expression of the inner thoughts of the main character.

    #6 · Chapter 2 · 34w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>1475582

    I attempted to write this in third person at first, but it was awkward at best, and became nearly impossible when the thoughts of the character needed to be expressed. I suppose it may just be that third-person writing just isn't my strong point, but regardless, I feel that second-person is the right choice for this story. I suppose a first-person narrative may work as well, but I find that perspective to be restrictive and a bit annoying to write in.

    Initially, this story was started as a result of reading nearly a third of the "Anon in Equestria" archive in one go, and was even titled "Amnesianon in Equestria" as it sat on my desktop. It grew quite a bit from there, and I abandoned that aspect.

    Edit: Well, I just had a bit of a heart attack when I realized who I was holding a discussion with.

    I really enjoy your work. You are extremely skilled in the use third-person narrative.

    #7 · Chapter 2 · 34w, 3d ago · · ·
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    #8 · Chapter 3 · 34w, 3d ago · · ·
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    this is awesome

    #9 · Chapter 3 · 34w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Whoa there Speedy, let your keyboard cool down before it catches fire!

    #10 · Chapter 3 · 34w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>1476273

    But how else will I justify buying this asbestos keyboard?

    #11 · Chapter 3 · 34w, 2d ago · · ·
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    "But that rainbow one kicked me."

    Aaaaand I know where and when we are now. :D

    #12 · Chapter 4 · 34w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1476630

    I dropped hints before that, but yes, now you know.

    Also, ding! New chapter.

    #13 · Chapter 4 · 34w, 2d ago · · ·
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    What are you?

    a Story Machine?

    can't wait for MOAR

    #14 · Chapter 4 · 34w, 2d ago · · ·
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    goddamn you're hammering these out like t.vs during the 1950's

    #15 · Chapter 5 · 34w, 2d ago · · ·
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    YOU ASKED, AND SO YOU SHALL RECEIVE.

    Chapter five is now up.

    #16 · Chapter 1 · 34w, 2d ago · · ·
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    when it said 'oh my' i immediately thought of mr sulu

    #17 · Chapter 5 · 34w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1477938

    Please refrain from posting one-word comments. As much as I appreciate the clamor of voices urging "Moar! Moar!", I must object to how much they fill up the comment box.

    In response to your one-word comment, though.

    Soon.

    #18 · Chapter 5 · 34w, 2d ago · · ·
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    oh, good job

    #19 · Chapter 5 · 34w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Short, but eye catching. Enjoyment is achieved.

    #20 · Chapter 5 · 34w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Well, this is pretty cool so far

    interesting little magic items he has there

    it will be cool to see how long this story is going to be, or where it goes

    its still pretty open ended

    #21 · Chapter 5 · 34w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Ooooh, this is interesting.

    My first thought upon 'Me' finding the bracelet with the gem that fit into it? "Materia! Yay Final Fantasy VII reference!"

    Also, something I would do, if only for the lulz, is wait until a storm cloud(Small one, or one separated from the others) gathers, and then try freezing it.

    Of course, if it actually worked, I would immediately try thawing it, probably soaking some poor schmuck.

    I'd prefer them being soaked over them being squashed.

    #22 · Chapter 5 · 34w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1479545

    I've actually never played any of the Final Fantasy games.

    The nature of the two cuffs will be revealed when Ponyville's resident book-lord has a look at them.

    #23 · Chapter 5 · 34w, 2d ago · · ·
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    I'm Intrigued. ^^ Curious as to how this story will play out.

    #24 · Chapter 6 · 34w, 2d ago · · ·
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    ...Wait.

    Unfortunately, you wind up tripping on one of the apparently child ponies. As if that wasn't bad enough, you step on it's head wear. Wasting precious seconds, you tear the gaudy tiara out of your boot.

    ...HAHAHA!

    Ran over Diamond Tiara and stomped her tiara! SWEET! Go 'Me'!

    Edit: ...And... 'First', apparently.

    Huh. Don't see why people like doing that.

    #25 · Chapter 6 · 34w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1481198 CRUNCH, HAHA! :P Couldn't have happened to a meaner child-pony. :P

    #26 · Chapter 6 · 34w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1481920

    Heh, I'd be worried about Diamond Tiara because, hey. It's a kid. That I ran over. Little snot or not, still a kid.

    But, as soon as I find out she's okay, I'd be ticked off at the fact her stupid tiara left a massive gash in the bottom of my boot.

    ...Of course, if it was me there, there'd be a boatload more screwing around with the temperature-bracelet(Probably would've spent seven whole minutes freezing fish and random fruit for the lulz).

    My first interaction with Ponyville probably would've been running there trying to stop a tornado I accidentally made.

    Oh, also, uh...

    (...)you've still got an orange pony wearing a fedora and a murderous look chasing you down. You don't think ice is going to stop this one. Even though you are running as fast as you can, she's still catching up.

    Um... Ice slicks? If you can freeze the moisture in the air into blocks of ice for you to hop on, surely you can freeze whatever dampness is in the ground to make the road behind you slick at the least.

    Would've been less hostile than punching her with a bunch of hot air, at any rate.

    ...Where are the runes getting the energy, by the way?

    #27 · Chapter 6 · 34w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1482139

    Fedora. Whoops! Should be stetson.

    I'm not going to flat out state how the runes get energy, but I mentioned two distinct ways that they can. Look closely.

    Additionally, DT was only run into, not run over. Her tiara is wrecked, though.

    #28 · Chapter 6 · 34w, 1d ago · · ·
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    haha, i would feel sorry for diamond tiara if i gave a damn

    #29 · Chapter 6 · 34w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1482240Her tiara must have been made of tissue paper and good intentions if it can't survive falling like a foot to the ground off a filly's head!

    #30 · Chapter 6 · 34w, 1d ago · · ·
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    I love the writing style. Keep it up, even if your keyboard does light on fire.

    #31 · Chapter 1 · 34w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Or Discord cause they r the same voice actor.

    #32 · Chapter 6 · 34w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1484614

    You wot, mate?

    #33 · Chapter 6 · 34w, 1d ago · · ·
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    This is getting good, loveing the fact I break Diamond's tiara,:rainbowlaugh: and some first impression.:facehoof:

    #34 · Chapter 6 · 34w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1484875

    No worries, I bet she has a closet full of the things.

    #35 · Chapter 6 · 34w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Great story keep up the good work

    #36 · Chapter 1 · 34w, 1d ago · · ·
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    God, you hope there aren't bears in those caves. Or mountain lions. Or tigers, oh my.

    Clever. So clever in fact that you have my attention

    #37 · Chapter 6 · 34w, 1d ago · · ·
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    you may proceed

    #38 · Chapter 6 · 34w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1484474

    It got stuck in his boot, which means that he stepped on it. Very few actual tiaras would survive being used as a launching platform to flee an angered Applejack. :ajbemused:

    #39 · Chapter 7 · 34w, 23h ago · · ·
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    this chapter is ....... nice:fluttershyouch:

    #40 · Chapter 7 · 34w, 23h ago · · ·
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    ...To be frank, I just don't understand how anyone can forget their name.

    I mean, after using it and hearing it their entire life, it ought to be so embedded in your brain that it's sticking out the other side.

    Also... Couldn't Frank(My name for him) have used his Pyrokinesis/Cryokinesis bracelet to burn through the ropes?

    #41 · Chapter 7 · 34w, 23h ago · · ·
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    >>1489019

    It's stated in the description- He's got Hollywood-style retrograde amnesia. As in, he can remember skills, knowledge, etc just fine, but not his own memories or personality, etc.

    As for the ropes, yeah. I contemplated adding a scene where he points that out, but decided against it.

    More or less, he's trying to be as civil as possible because he knows he's in the shit, as it were.

    Edit-Oh god, as I wrote this I realized. I've named him wrong. Changing it now.

    Addendum- Bonus points for guessing why it's now Maxwell.

    #42 · Chapter 7 · 34w, 23h ago · · ·
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    YOU CHANGED THE NAME

    #43 · Chapter 7 · 34w, 23h ago · · ·
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    >>1489097

    Pseudomancer was really kind of cheesy and unfitting.

    #44 · Chapter 7 · 34w, 23h ago · · ·
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    >>1489074

    I got that, it's just that I never really understood that.

    Oh, and for anyone who's reading these comments, the name was previously Pseudomancer before Brimstone changed it to Maxwell.

    #45 · Chapter 7 · 34w, 23h ago · · ·
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    >>1489137

    Is the name change really going to be so controversial?

    #46 · Chapter 7 · 34w, 23h ago · · ·
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    >>1489156

    I doubt it.

    I figured that I'd just mention that for historical purposes, so people don't go mad trying to figure out what his name previously was.

    #47 · Chapter 7 · 34w, 23h ago · · ·
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    #48 · Chapter 7 · 34w, 22h ago · · ·
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    >>1489074 Do he eventually wield a Silver Hammer? ... Or a scythe, and go by the name 'The God of Death'? :3

    #49 · Chapter 7 · 34w, 22h ago · · ·
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    >>1489497

    Try thinking thermodynamics.

    #50 · Chapter 7 · 34w, 22h ago · · ·
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    Points for guessing the name? I'm guessing its from the Maxwell relations from thermodynamics. Gotta love Wikipedia.

    Name aside, I really liked the practical application of thermal manipulation. A lot of fun things can be done with that.

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