XDDD YAY!!!!!

>>14656061465606 I did good?

>>14656161465616 yes

>>14656191465619 Yay!

Geez! Another new story?

You guys don't fool around, do you?

>>14658061465806 Lol

Well... there are plenty of issues with grammar and formatting-type things that keep me from liking this.

Like look at:

"I've never been all that good at magic" the mare admitted, moving to the side to show her cutie mark, "I'm just good at painting with it". The three fillies groaned as a chocolate toned Pegasus landed behind the mare.

That should be something like:

"I've never been all that good at magic," the mare admitted, moving to the side to show her cutie mark, "I'm just good at painting with it." The three fillies groaned as a chocolate-toned pegasus landed behind the mare.

The idea seems interesting, but the set-up (oh, the CMC offended this pony, therefore they are cursed, and so on) seems... I don't know. It's like biting into a burger but finding only a bun. I was expecting them to blunder into something where they cursed themselves in comedic fashion.

Not to sound mean or anything... maybe you should have someone else like as an editor / collaborator or consider going to groups for assistance with that stuff... (I didn't downvote. I only do that to seriously badly done fics.)

>>14658831465883 I'm totally fine with any criticism, and I have been writing a lot of fics lately, including this one, off of my girlfriend's ideas. It usually goes back and forth until the general idea is established and then I do my best to flesh it out. Also, thanks for not down voting because you didn't like it a little bit

>>14659041465904  i'm ok with a rewrite if he wants it. i usually like how it's painted out either way

>>14659941465994 It's your idea, so it's your choice

Hmmm... Intresting.

Grammar errors here and there, but all I have to say is...

Tracking and favoriting it!

The Vocational Death Cruise, anyone?

Not that that's bad, I've been waiting for a fic like this for awhile!

Make more chapters now

Haha, lol. Tracked.

I wont go into detail, since others have said it as well, but find a pre-reader/editor. Your grammar isn't HORRIBLE, but it needs work. Aside from that... it's okay. Not sure what needs fixed, but something about that felt a tad OOC.

>>14668841466884 Ah so I'm not the only one who was thinking of that.

hmmmm...... ill track for now and see where this goes.

It seems applebloom Is enjoying this. Sweetie belle  idk. Scoots just give it time

I am enjoying this.

Poor little scoots...

>>14737381473738 No one ever said she WOULDN"T fly, her wings just weren't fully developed yet, after all she could hover above the ground with them.

Sorry to say this but: You've failed.

I quote Twilight here: Magic is something that is studied not spontaneously learned when given. The episode I reference is Feeling Pinkie Keen, when Twilight climbs on a soap box. For Applebloom to all of a sudden be magic savvy is a huge blotch. And if you are going to argue that the knowledge that Sweetie had went with it... Then I fault that logic by saying Scootaloo can't fly yet and thus Sweetie shouldn't be able to, plus we haven't even seen Sweetie cast any magic. Sorry for the rant but this just bugs me.

>>14741571474157  -.-+  *is the one with the ideas* yeah, i give a basic idea and he fills in the blanks. thanks for saying i'm useless...just like dad. IT'S A STORY! IT'S A CARTOON!! it doesn't have to be logical. it's a simple thing for fun.

>>14748471474847 You're not useless, this was my mistake, so if anything I'm the useless one

>>14748471474847>>14755291475529 I'm not saying either one of you are useless. I do like the idea that the CMC get switched but the AB using magic and Sweetie flying with ease and no prior training is a bit to hard to swallow. If I go with the baby cakes scenario... even that episode made me go wtf. By all means take what I said as me voicing my opinion, rather rudely I will admit but it's just my opinion.

>>14756431475643 alright then. his choice if he wants to rewrite. we're working on another chapter right now for a different story

Scoot's with no wings, becomes envious of Sweetie who has her wing and is using them better then she was able to, coupled with a crack pot idea from Sweetie of doing a Sonic rainboom... For once I'm gonna say "Knock you'reself out Sweetie Belle" (Grabs a bag of popcorn and waits for the outcome)

Saw this updated went woot because I adore that picture.  Then ya twist the feels man. I cant wait for more

>>15262801526280 She'll likely fall flat before se builds up the spped required.