Flank Whooping
"Is that..." Placid stammered, his jaw quivering as he gazed, wide-eyed, across the hazy room. "Is th-that a pony with wings?!"
Another guard screamed as his body was flung thirty-feet over the confused slaves' heads.
Felicity turned to glare at her beloved. "Jee, honey, what was your first clue?"
"I don't understand..." Placid gulped and looked worriedly at Belle. "What's she doing here? What's her part in all this!"
"Don't you get it?" Belle exclaimed over the rising commotion of murmuring equines. "She's the subject that this facility had locked away! That I was being sequenced with!" Belle swallowed hard and said, "But she's more than that! There's a secret to her, something that involves the foundations of the world and the sanctity of our very future!"
Felicity's head jerked as a blue blur soared overhead, shoving two guards into a stalactite before they collapsed to the floor with a thud. She squinted at Belle. "Does it also involve medication?"
"Is this supposed to... to help us with breaking out of here?" Placid asked.
"First thing's first." Belle leaned forward. "I'm willing to bet that Shell just went through here."
Felicity nodded with a cold shudder. "About twenty minutes ago: he had two ponies with him, being held against their will by his stallions."
"Was Pilate among them?!" Belle breathlessly exclaimed.
Placid ran a hoof through his soot-stained mane and shuddered. "You know... come to think of it, one of them seemed to have stripes. I thought I was just imagining things..."
"Where did they go?!"
"About three hundred meters northeast."
"What in Spark's name is 'northeast' in this infernal abyss?!"
"Calm down, Belle!" Felicity interjected. She pivoted and pointed past a pile of gravel towards a flickering passageway looming beyond. "The Prime Enforcer went that way! His whole ensemble trotted with him. Whatever it is they're doing, it was making a crazy noise, at least until your 'salvation' dropped in—"
As she said that, a groaning thug fell to the ground beneath them, along with a splash of no less than ten berets.
"Whew!" Rainbow Dash spat five more articles onto the purple pile of headwear. She grinned up at Bellesmith. "These guys are three loogeys short of earning themselves the 'Totally Lame Award.' Why the heck are you miserable ponies letting them push you dudes around down here, anyways?" She tilted her head up and blinked dully at Placid and Felicity. "Oh. Great. More unicorns."
"Rainbow Dash, I know where Pilate's gone! We need to hurry!"
"Never mind that! Look!" Rainbow Dash fished her hoof throught the pile of berets that matched hers. "I got more souvenirs!" She grinned devilishly and raised one up to Belle. "Go on! Try one one, Ding Dong!"
"Did you hear me?! I said—"
"Put on the beret!" Rainbow Dash screamed with twitching eyes.
Pale as a sheet, Belle sat on her haunches and flung a hat onto her skull. She gazed wide-eyed at Rainbow Dash. "B-b-better?"
"Awwwwwww yeah!" Rainbow Dash chuckled with flapping wings. "It's like we're having ourselves a regular hat party in this rock pile!" Her voice cracked between giggles, and she reeled dizzily. "Whew. Say, is it hot in here or what...?"
"Is..." Felicity winced. "...she with the program?"
Belle sweated beneath her oversized beret. "Well, she did just wake up from countless months of dwindling in a comatose state while her body mutated into a chaotic nether creature."
"And you woke her up... why?"
"I've got a better question." Rainbow Dash sneered, glaring at the two trembling unicorns. "Why aren't you wearing berets yet?!"
"Halt!"
Everypony within vicinity turned to look.
A tall, muscular guard galloped to a stop, aiming a mana crystal gun at the group. "Lie down on the ground or I open fire!"
"Hey!" Rainbow Dash gasped, pointing. "What's that right behind you?!"
The guard blinked and glanced over his shoulder, only to see Rainbow Dash's grin as she landed from her dive.
"Whoopsy-daisy!" Rainbow grapped him by the shoulders, flapped her wings, spun, and power-bombed him skull-first into the rocky floor. The unicorn groaned, his horn being embedded into the stone surface. With a deep exhale, he slumped—unconscious and upside down—like a living tent peg. "Woo-hoo-hoo!" Rainbow Dash dusted her hooves off and landed beside him. "Now you really are a daisy! A wilting one! Ha ha ha..." She smirked at the group of slaves. She blinked.
Everypony in close proximity had placed a discarded beret on their heads, including a trembling Felicity and Placid. They smiled nervously in Rainbow's direction. Belle gave the group one glance, sighed, and trotted over to Rainbow Dash.
"Rainbow, thank you so very much for taking out so many guards. I'm sure the ponies down here need it. But there's something I need still." She gulped. "Pilate is down here, and if we don't stop Shell soon, there's no telling what he might—"
"Let me guess." Rainbow Dash pivoted and pointed at the passageway beyond the pile of gravel. "They went in there."
Belle's lips pursed. "How... did you know?"
"Uhhhhh..." Rainbow Dash shifted where she stood. She gazed at the passageway; it was brimming with lavender light, piercing her eyes between each blink. She smiled nervously Belle's way. "Just call it a hunch."
With a nervous breath, Belle asked, "Are you sure you're up for what's going to come next?"
"Pffft. Silly Bill."
"Belle."
"Whatever." Rainbow Dash slapped a hoof on her shoulder, teetering slightly. "If you take time to question everything, how ae you gonna have time to answer everything?"
Belle's brow furrowed. "But you don't exactly look like you have it all together."
"And just how the hay would you know that?"
"Uhhh..."
"Let me do my magic, girl." Rainbow Dash spread her wings and offered a hoof. "You coming for a front row seat or not?"
"W-we are saving my beloved, right?"
"Just tell me which stallion not to punch, and we'll be golden."
"Well I guess that works—Gaaah!" Belle shrieked as she was whisked away in blue feathers. She shouted back over Rainbow's shoulders at the ponies watching them. "Tell Garnet! Tell him we're going to try and stop Shell! Eeep!" Belle yelped as the two threaded through the passageway like a missile.
The emaciated ponies stood in a line, staring at the two's departure.
Eventually, Placid murmured, "Do you think they're gonna be able to save us?"
"I don't know, honey..."
Silence.
"Do you th-think it's safe to take off these berets now?"
"Nope. Not in the least."
"I didn't think so."
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Flippin fantastic action
Rainbow Dash has lost her mind.
Subject: Rainbow Dash
Prefix Title Obtained: "Hat master"
Preview: "Hat Master Rainbow Dash"
Subject: Chapter 92
Alternate Title Obtained: "Giving the Gift of Hat"
There can never be enough berets.
Never.
Good job, Dash.
Berets... berets everywhere.
-Minty
1828405
That's the gift that keeps on giving.
-Minty
So many hats, it's kind of like TF2 in here.
NOW IS COWARD KILLING TIME!!!
1828405 TF2 all over again...
Beep beep, I'm a beret.
Enforcers wore Berets before they were cool.
Awesome pony makes awesome fic?
Why yes, yes she does.
Don't look a gift horse in the hat.
I am now wearing a beret.
Because of ponies.
my fedora just became a baret, I dont know how.
troll.me/images/soldier-tf2/hats-hats.jpg
HATS
Now it's time to go punch the stallion who isn't the zebra. We wouldn't want to hurt Pilate.
Only Rainbow Dash has the balls to use the "look out behind you" schtick on a guard.
And then steal his beret. Damn, I need to get myself one of those. Berets are cool.
1828404
I honestly don't think she's had it for her entire journey. Works well in this case to contrast the really shitty situation they're all in. You keep being a badass, Dash.
Impulsive Dash just wants you to roll with the punches, or chaotic nether creatures, or what have you.
1828660
Yes. Hats. Hats are wonderful. Do not remove them.
I still really dig how much of a whirlwind Dash is, and how much of a whirlwind it is to read.
1828478
No that was Jamie Hyneman.
Quick! everyone get a beret on or face Rainbow Dash's wrath!
Just because nobody posted it yet
Well if she had seen what went on in the Blue floor and found out that you'd been the one responsible, she might have been a little shaky too.
1828811
I love you for this, and I hate that I didn't think to post that before you did.
Thinking about it some, we know Dash is a little "not right" in the head. Belle's explanation is pretty obvious, but I wonder if the sequencing has also left a mark on her. Thus far Dash seems to be adorably unaware Belle's experiences, but at the same time accepts her knowledge with little question. Further, the few times it came up it was quickly brushed aside. I assume this is more an effect of the scene—it's not as funny or badass to have Dash be introspective and demand explanations—than it is of the narrative. Nevertheless, it is something to keep in mind as the now blinding lavender light draws the protagonists deeper into the machine and closer to a confrontation with Shell.
Dash has been through a lot of trauma recently, I would wager that she is very much still in shock. She's been in shock and denial for a long time, really, but this most recent incident seems to have really put her over the top. She's not just kicking flank, she's finding release in being overly energetic, brash, obtuse and hilarious. At some point or another this will all come crashing down in a painful moment of introspection, the most likely outcome of which is for her to keep running eastward, away from her own mind. This journey is as much about saving the world as it is about dealing with loss, violation, manipulation. Dash is awesome, but awesome here is a shield from the harsh reality Dash has found herself in. It's a warm blanket around shivering body, but the temperature outside is dropping fast and eventually that blanket will be worthless. What we're seeing from Rainbow now is what happens when all bets are off; she's quite literally taking out aggression on the first evil thing she sees. Belle is just along for the ride. Sooner or later that will come to a head, tears will be shed.
Equally probable, Dash is just awesome and delirious from a coma and chaos magic, and that's just fun to read.
Finally, an update that didn't suffer from chronic lack of hats!
Dash's actions here are indicative of the effects of prolonged and intense emotional trauma. She flees from her past--in the past few chapters she has sought to immediately bury any memories the moment Belle tries to bring them to light. She avoids any discussion of her past live or lives of her now-deceased friends in favor of a mindset which puts her completely all the time in The Moment. In short, she is distracting herself.
The insistent refusal to feel is manifesting in her almost thoughtless destruction, though we see she still strives to keep herself in check somewhat through her brash persona, her loose promises to Belle, as well as her obvious reservations toward going all-out (in which case, she likely would have simply bolted east).
-Minty
She is going to be so TF2 rich by the end of this. By my calculations, she has 16 Bill's, which is worth about 144 keys, or 5.76~ Buds. Going by the Mann Co. Store price of $2.49/key, she has about $358.56 dollars worth of hats. Unless you take into account the fact they were painted with A Deep Commitment To Purple paint, which drives the price down a lot by virtue of being dirty.
Crazy Horse - Black Label Society
*Sees title: "Flank-whooping"*
. . . My body is ready.
Yay, hats!
Can I have a hat?
Anyone?
No?
Onwards!
You okay, Rainbow Dash?
You're acting awfully funny with berets...
Hee hee... Dashie, your so crazy...
1830227
*Gives this guy a beret*
Oh rainbow... I want a hat...
I can't tell if Dash is suffering from Discord after effects or is just burying her grief and shock in an endless desire for hats. Probably a bit of both. Although, who could blame her, really? No one turns their nose up at a purple beret.
I really wish this was a movie. I could totally picture the guards flying haphazardly through the air with Dash rainbow-ing after them all in the background while Belle tries to convince her unicorn friends that the stylish mad-pony is in fact their salvation. Anywho I've got a long chapter ahead, so onward!
Hat Laboratory. We wear hats. Sometimes we do science while wearing said hats.
Berets!! Rock!!!
IIIIIt's Dashie's evaluation time!
So this chapter was rather interesting. We get more crazy Dash, which is nice , but I'n beginning to wonder how nice that is. She seems to be more reckless and brash than ever before. I'm not sure if this is due to Discord influencing her for so long or if Imploding is just stretching his fingers now that he can write about Dash now. Just a little something to keep an eye on as we go forward. These are my thoughts so far.
-MASH
1961870 And not ONE mention of hats...
1828412>>1828417>>1828469>>1828534>>1828568>>1828689
imgs.xkcd.com/comics/rubber_sheet.png
Notice the Guy on the ball's hat.
...Seriously, did no-one else think of this guy?
This is Australia...
i.imgur.com/OG8j0.png
I wear berets before it was cool.
Welp, Dash has completely gone off her rocker.... but berets are pretty cool, so maybe she has some sort of idea as to what she's doing. Maybe she picked a little thing or two up from Rarity.
Uprising is about to come. And when it does:
P.S. I've played french horn in the Pit Orchestra for this musical. Fucking awesome! (also a long-ass musical!)
>how ae you gonna have time
y u no "are"
You get a hat, and you get a hat. Everypony gets a gets a brand new hat! NOW PUT THEM ON!
Dash must be a some kind of mad hatter.
3686926
læl
l4d.com/sacrifice/images/bill.jpg
beret and everything
heh.
Adorn thyselves with uniform headwear at once, foolish peasants!
As senseless as the Dash-applied violence may seem, take out the guards and arm the prisoners with their weapons and you have a great start to a mass prison uprising.
img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20150406211839/mlp/images/thumb/1/10/Mane_Six_scared_of_Starlight_Glimmer_S5E2.png/800px-Mane_Six_scared_of_Starlight_Glimmer_S5E2.png
Er, Dash, are you okay?
That really does seem like the best possible plan.
The lavender light is back!
[youtube=www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNOjczAu5vI]
...Why is that the first thing I thought of?
Also, don't underestimate Dash when she's wearing a hat. If you were from where she was from, you'd be [EXPLETIVE]ing dead!
4100603 Oh, she's mad all right.
Dash has lost her friggin' mind. Makes for some funny and good action-y moments, but it makes me worry about the future. Hopefully they can stop Shell before it's too late. Crazy stuff's about to go down, even more crazy than the last dozen chapters. I look forward to getting a ton of reading done today.
~SolidFire