Okay, hooray for my first story on this site! Tell me if you like it please!

I cried tears of joy,

I cried tears of sadness,

Please do not toy,

With this wonderful madness.

A poem dedicated to the awesomeness of this fic. A mustache for you!

Pretty good. There's a couple minor errors I noticed, though. For one, Rainbow Dash is two words, not one. You missed a capitalization on Rarity (in the line when you mention how Sweetie had moved away), and I'm not certain if that's how Appleloosa is spelled. Other than that, I'd suggest writing a link into the words or posting the URL of the song at the beginning of the fic instead of writing the lyrics in between paragraphs, or perhaps format the lyrics differently (italicize them or something). Just some mild confusion, nothing major. And this is sort of a personal thing, I know all authors do it differently, but I prefer thoughts to be italicized as opposed to single-quote text. But yeah, just a few minor things here and there. Otherwise, this is a great first fic. Have an upvote!

Daww...that picture's so sad. Gotta read this later. For now, I give you my fav.

THAT PICK. This story...I recentely wrote a rap dedicated to scootaloo herself, and this story and that pic is making me to go by a microphone, record the song, post it on youtube and then pasting it on here. Thanks for this story man, it inspired me to keep on going and actually finish the song. Seeing a sad scoot brings me down, but I know one day, she's going to fly, in the show or in the fandom.

have a scoot, and fhanks for this chapter. even if it was only one

>>14560401456040 Thanks for the critique. If you woulnd't mind telling me how to edit and save the changes, I'd be grateful. I tried to, but as soon as I finished with the revisions, I coulnd't save them...

>>14560891456089 Woohoo! I hope that you finish the rap. It sounds like it would be fun. Would you mind if I saw it when it's finished?

>>14563441456344nOh its all ready finished, I just have to buy the equipment And sure, just as soon as I get out of all school.

By the way I read it while in school, and I was suppose to do my work..

No regrets.

>>14562911456291

If memory serves, open the chapter, click "Edit," make the appropriate changes, then click the little "Save" icon, that looks like a save icon from old school version of Microsoft Word, then click "Edit" again. Should work. Maybe. I think.

HOLY JEBUS THAT'S A GOOD FIC

>>14565641456564 It's by Green Day.

>>14573451457345 ah thanks

Ah there we go

ME: Looking over suff...Oh, AppleCrumble has a new story...*Looks around class to make sure no one is waching*

SO AWSOME

You are awsome at this take it take my spikestach!

>>14577821457782 Awww, thanks. I'm glad I could make something you like.

love it a fine job indeed, i was listening to "Everything you ever wanted" while reading. i was d'aww-ing the whole time.

>>14613931461393 hi My name is Matt and i need some help in my story the name is Pokemon and Ponies if you can i know that my grammer is bad that why i am ask for help here.

>>15385651538565 I would be absolutely honored to be your editor. I just hope I can help some... I'll look it up and get back to you hopefully today.

is this going to continue?

wait what about them catching up? whats rainbows excuse i mean she IS the element of loyalty.

>>19661611966161 Don't fret, this will continue. All I need is the motivation. Sorry. And the answer to the question will be answered soon, I promise. It will be answered in the second chapter. As it is now, I plan to write three, but we'll have to see how that goes.

Wow, I'm going to have to look up the song. That was amazingly sad, I can't imagine Scootaloo's hopes being crushed like that for so many years. I'd be just as interested in how Dash planned to make up for being 25 years late, as I would in seeing it from her perspective. The chapter wasn't bad at all, it seemed to be paced perfectly and free of errors. I wouldn't be surprised if this eventually gets featured.