• Published 23rd Oct 2012
  • 18,896 Views, 1,458 Comments

The Xenophile's Guide to Equestria - archonix



A chronicle of Twilight Sparkle's life with the human Lero and his herd. Based on Xenophilia.

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Ponyville Perspectives

Ponyville Perspectives

We welcome the human to our fair town as we would welcome any other visitor. The Princesses have granted him citizenship of Equestria and no less than Princess Celestia’s own personal student, Twilight Sparkle, has vouched for his decency and equinity. Whilst I do not know him personally, I am sure he is an honourable being, who will bring much of worth to our community.
- Mayor Mare

Ain’t right, letting things like that stay here. Ponyville’s for Ponies, that’s why it has the name. Bad enough that dragon hangs around the place, at least he’s small. I seen chimps in a zoo, all friendly one minute, then tearin’ one another apart the next. They eat their own kind, throw their shit and scream over nothin’. This here ape should just go back in his cage.
- Tricky Narrows

Don’t rightly understand him but I ain’t about to argue with Twilight. If she thinks he’s safe, he’s safe, and that’s the end of it. Besides, he did a dang good job fixing my roof.
- Applejack

Never saw anything stranger in my life. What did you say he was called? A ‘human’? He walks around in that shirt all the time, it must be dreadfully smelly by now. How can he stand it? Oh he could live in the palace for all I care as long as he doesn’t eat my filly or something equally trite and cliché. Perhaps I shall have a closer look some time.
- Filthy Rich

The fact that he’s walking around without a mare is the worst part. He should be kept somewhere safe so nopony can take advantage of him or do anything to exploit his naivete. It’s just not fair to him otherwise.
- Lavender Breeze

What do I think of his hands? I’ve honestly never thought about it.
- Lyra Heartstrings

He seems friendly, but I’d be nervous letting him around the school unsupervised. The foals seem to be fascinated with him, though, and they’re always talking about where they saw him on a particular day. Oh, no, I’m not worried he’ll do anything to them, I’m more worried what they’ll do to him. Especially those three.
- Cheerilee

Fascinating shape, darling. I’ve always wanted to try new things with other species but I’ve never really had the chance up to now. Spike, Twilight’s little assistant, is the only non-pony I’ve had the opportunity to experiment with and he’s far too young to really try anything adventurous. It all seems so dreadfully exciting doesn’t it? The opportunity to undertake something truly unique. I can’t wait to get him into my Boutique so I can have him all to myself. Do you suppose he’ll look good in black?
- Rarity