I like where this is going!

I'm sorry, but I have to downvote this.

To start with, there seems to be no sense of motivation or depth. Why would someone hate bronies this much? There needs to be, well, reasons for things. Sure, in real life, sometimes people are just 'haters', but in a well-written storyline there has to be this feeling of decision making and depth, you know?

Instead, the reader is just thrown into this situation where Sketch is woken up in immense pain. He apparently was some kind of Mengele like figure in a past life. Now, he's a pony. Honestly, as a reader, it seems like there's no 'hook' to draw the person in.

After some scant background, the reader then goes through some real ping-pong dialogue. What are the characters doing-- with their hooves, their ears, their eyes, et cetera? What exactly does Austin / Sketch look like? He seems like a blank slate. All the reader gets across is that he is an empty shell of hatred.

I don't want to sound mean, and there are far worse fics out there, but I would seriously revise this story. Maybe go to one of the groups here such as 'Struggling Authors' or something like that.

I want to see Austin / Sketch as a fully-fleshed out, three-dimensional guy. Otherwise, he's just another negative emo-ish Human in Equestria like the hundreds of others. You know?

>>14600491460049

I assume you haven't read the first story yet?

>>14600491460049 Yes, please do read the first part. This is the sequel to "The Anti-Brony Chronicles", another story I wrote. Perhaps it will change your opinion, and if not, I'll try to revise it some when I get a chance to do so.

>>14617061461706

>>14619661461966

Fair enough, I'll look at the earlier story.

But, even in terms of a sequel, it does seem important I think to have clear senses of motivation and purpose and everything from the get-go.

Have you guys ever seen Back to the Future?

Even if you haven't seen film one (or haven't for a while), you start off the second film with a) a recap of the first film's ending and b) a clear character moments for several people where it's clear who Marty McFly is and why people root for him.

As well, seriously think about changing the ping-pony-y-ness of the dialogue.

>>14637501463750 I'll try to do that. Thanks for reading and for the critism, it is much appreciated.

when is the next chapter coming out.

>>15052781505278 Not sure, I've been busy. Plus, I'm not sure if I should bother with the continuation at all...Depends on how much people want it, but so far, from the amount of dislikes, it doesn't look like a lot...

>>15073661507366 Don't let those dislikes put you down there can be atleast some hope.

>>15476981547698 I'll try to get an update before Season 3 starts on Nov 10.

Ponies are sticklers for tunes.  With his electric guitar Austin could be more popular than Octavia or Vinyl.

I am very pleased to see a continuation of the anti-brony chronicles.

Loving it so far