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  • Tuesday
    Just Thought to Ask

    Would anyone be interested in a Consequences-verse group? This is the third time I've had people asking/talking about alternate stories based on it and I'm fully supportive, but it made me think.

    The group would be a place for the collection of stories set in the Consequences verse as well as similar stories playing on the concept of Gary Stu/Mary Sues in a more literal sense.

    Obviously I'd include some more concrete info about the Consequences verse for people to play around with, not just stuff from Emeris' limited perspective.

    Just something my crazy (and hyped up on one too many scoops of pre-workout stuff) brain thought to ask before I head off to work.

    7 comments · 81 views
  • 1w, 18h
    Do you want it now or later?

    Right, so, I've been writing up the next chapter for Consequences of Unoriginality and it's been pointed out to me that it's gotten a bit... hefty.

    ... like ~15,000 words hefty.

    And I just got to the date proper.

    So, um, yeah... would y'all like me to get this posted up with the actual date in the next chapter or should I finish up with the date in this chapter?

    ---

    Also, huge thanks to PandoraBoxable for the cover-art for the story! Apparently something even cooler is in the works, mad props ;-;

    18 comments · 140 views
  • 2w, 1d
    Preview of Consequences of Unoriginality's Next Chapter

    Just super happy with this scene so far and couldn't help but share:

    ”No!” I couldn't let that stand! No! My head jerked around, there would be no confusion! I couldn't even let myself think of that happening! “I would-”

    My words caught in my throat as my breath hitched in pain and I flinched away instinctively, my horn lighting up.

    There was dead silence as I stared at an equally wide-eyed Sure Scissors, my brain trying to catch up-

    There was a wet *thwap* and my eyes flicked over to the sound-

    … was that my ear...?

    That was a piece of my ear.

    My eyes returned to a horrified looking Sure Scissors.

    She'd just cut off part of my ear.

    We both looked over at the bloodied piece of ear on the hardwood floor.

    That was practically half of my ear, cut off at an angle.

    Our eyes returned to a lock and my ears unconsciously flexed, a sharp, stabbing pain followed by a dull ache making themselves known in my mind at my right ear. The soft *pat* of a droplet hitting the floor was soon followed by a slow pitter-patter as the blood began to drip freely from my ear... stub of an ear...

    Sure Scissors pupils had shrunk to tiny pinrpicks, “I-I-I-... I'm sorry-” she stammered softly past the scissors in her mouth as she began to tremble like a leaf.

    She'd cut off half of my ear!

    She hadn't meant to... obviously so.

    Her whole job was to cut hair and not do exactly that!

    Her name is Sure Scissors, her cutie mark is a pair of scissors, this is probably the first time this has happened!

    She was freaking apologizing! After going on a damn tirade about how saying sorry wasn't enough!

    She was apologizing.

    The light around my horn died out, and I could practically feel myself deflate, “You're forgiven."

    “What?!”

    17 comments · 153 views
  • 3w, 1d
    Future CoU stuff and Help Request/Challenge

    Right, here's the immediate future of Consequences of Unoriginality:

    Next Chapter:

    The Date, Emeris' overly forgiving nature finally gets him in some trouble, the second to last "Emeris focused" chapter;

    8.5 out of 12 scenes completed, currently 8,700 words

    Chapter After Next:

    The Doom Party, Pinkie's party for Emeris finally happens, last "Emeris focused" chapter for a solid while

    Still sketching out the scenes

    Next Arc:

    The Crystal Empire. Things be fucked up yo. Due to things Emeris' did as Gary, this isn't the canon Crystal Empire craziness. It's much worse. Celestia and Luna actually send a guard along with the Elements of Harmony (not just the Mane Six, but Elements included) to the Crystal Empire. It's gonna be crazy.

    I consider this the point where the ball is finally rolling for the story proper, we're finally away from Emeris fixing the immediate consequences of his curse and now with him as part of a group dealing with the more far reaching ones and the trials/tribulations of other ponies.

    The Request / Challenge

    And this brings us to the request/challenge:

    I've got some vague outlines for the guard that accompanies the Mane Six to the Crystal Empire, but I need some help. I suck at names amongst other things. Feel free to suggest additions or alterations to the following ponies!

    Pony 1

    Name: ???

    Species: Unicorn

    Cutie Mark: Skeletal hoof lit by emerald flames

    Color: ???

    Mane/Tail: ???

    Appearance: Small unicorn, one of his sides is a patchwork of stitches hiding a nasty secret, his front left hoof is a skeletal, necromantically powered prosthetic

    Rank: Broken Horn Coven Arch Warlock

    Specialties: Black (Emotionally Fueled) Magic [Eighth Degree Master], Necromancy [Ninth Degree Master]

    Personality: Arrogant. He believes he's above all other ponies. Supremely loyal to Celestia even though Luna is technically his boss. Devoted to his job.

    Relaxation: Necromancy

    Pony 2

    Name: ???

    Species: Earth Pony

    Cutie Mark: A flag waving in the wind with his house crest on it

    Color: ???

    Mane/Tail: ???

    Appearance: Absolutely enormous earth pony, over half the size of Celestia, bigger than even Big Mac

    Rank: Lieutenant General of the Equestrian Army

    Specialties: Command, being terrifyingly fast and strong and skilled, social connections, money

    Personality: Pleasant, calm, focused on his family, a relatively small noble house, everything is focused on his honor, status, and to help them

    Relaxation: Maintaining his family lands

    Pony 3

    Name: ???

    Species: Lunar Pegasus (Batpony)

    Cutie Mark: Silloughette of an earth pony with the shadow of a Lunar Pegasus

    Color: Very dark blue-gray

    Mane/Tail: ???

    Appearance: Large lunar pegasus

    Rank: ???

    Specialties: Shadow manipulation, shadow-diving, stealth

    Personality: Loyalty focused, wants to finish her term to the best of her ability before getting back to her herd

    Relaxation: Flying at night, playing with foals

    Pony 4

    Name: ???

    Species: ???

    Cutie Mark: ???

    Color: ???

    Mane/Tail: ???

    Appearance:

    Rank: Zenith Guard Captain

    Specialties: ???

    Personality: Pleasant and happy, good natured, crush on one of the Mane Six (Tis a secret who!)

    Relaxation: Elements of Harmony fan

    Pony 5

    Name: ???

    Species: Zebra

    Cutie Mark: ???

    Color: Black and White

    Mane/Tail: Black and White, style?

    Appearance: Decent sized

    Rank: Battle Shaman ; Zenith Guard Lieutenant

    Specialties: Battle potions, hoof-to-hoof combat

    Personality: Seeking strength, pleasant otherwise, wants to be the strongest, focused on survival of the fittest

    Relaxation: Training

    12 comments · 159 views
  • 5w, 2d
    Consequences Lives! A Poll (AND ALL THE THINGS)

    Okay, we've got a lot of business to cover, so I'll try and make this quick. The poll is at the end though.

    Consequences of Unoriginality is once again live and kicking! I'm working on the next/final chapter of the side story Despair of Gary Stu as well as the next chapter of Consequences of Unoriginality. Chapters won't be coming out as fast as this last one did, that's an exception due to a surprising amount of free time.

    Revisions:

    Now, there's been some (VERY) minor changes to Consequences made because I had an idea that had to be written in (so much better drama and story!). Don't worry about re-reading the story for it though, we're talking about a few sentences worth of change over 110,000 words. You should be able to pick up on it just from reading onwards.

    Cover Art!

    I'd love to have cover art for Consequences of Unoriginality </broken record>

    I'm willing to commission art, but I'm not sure what would be appropriate for the story and any suggestions would be awesome. Commissioning will be at least a month away due to budget concerns on my part.

    TVTropes:

    I always feel awkward with the thought of updating the TVTropes page for Consequences of Unoriginality. It's awesome that it exists! But I don't know what's appropriate for an author to do about their own page. Thoughts?

    The Future!

    Emeris has been doing good so far, things are looking up for him! ... for the next arc. Things are going to drift from Emeris being the center of the story (FINALLY). He's our PoV character still, but he's not going to be the focus of the story anymore! *champagne poppers* Wooooooo!

    Thanks!

    Huge thanks to Aburi for helping me with this story, he makes things so much better like you don't even understand ;-;

    I'm definitely not saying no to prospective editors or pre-readers though. Aburi is awesome, but he's only one guy.

    Also, support his good story! I have it on good authority that there could be an equally delightful sequel to it :trixieshiftright:

    Spoilerific Stuffs and IMPORTANT QUESTIONS!

    Okay, fair warning, this is gonna be sorta spoiler-y for a bit.

    The summary for the rest of the story is going through a bit of a revision since it was written before Season 3 was even done, let alone Season 4 was a thing. So the future of the story is being rebuilt a bit.

    One of the things I've been considering is such: Could the Elements of Harmony have been used to revitalize the Tree of Harmony? As in: Would it have worked if Mane Six blasted the Tree of Harmony with the Elements rather than giving the gems back? There will be a comment below to vote on with your opinion.

    As someone asked (and I'll codify here): I kind of need some OCs. I could make them myself, but I always love tapping into other people's creativity! I need some pony nobility, some griffons (primarily nobility), nobility for some various species, and some military / administration ponies that would work for Twilight once she's a princess, since Emeris helps her settle into her job and assumes command of her military guard.

    Now for the really spoiler-y stuff:

    If Emeris was swept up in the magical mystery cure which swaps their cutie marks and talents (and noting that his cutie mark is, terrifyingly, directly connected to black magic and knowledge of it), what are suggestions on who gets swapped with whom?

    39 comments · 234 views
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#1 · 105w, 6h ago · · · (Prologue) Help Me, Please ·

I don't like parodies.

*instafaves just by description*

#2 · 105w, 5h ago · 4 · · (Prologue) Help Me, Please ·

*cocks gun*

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. *points gun at Gary Stu* This will be over soon . . . *sniff* you were such a beautiful human :'( I don't want to do this.

#3 · 105w, 5h ago · · · (Prologue) Help Me, Please ·

This is a great story.  Although, I must ask, why is it labeled as Mature?  Doesn't seem like there is any content of questionable nature so far.

Anyway, I give you a like and a fave.  :twilightsmile:

#4 · 105w, 5h ago · · · (Prologue) Help Me, Please ·

May god have mercy upon your soul for this HORRIBLE curse.. -starts playing Taps-

#5 · 105w, 5h ago · · · (Prologue) Help Me, Please ·

I love it.

A Red & Black total Gary Stu alicorn who hates his curse and wants it gone.

Thumbs up.

#6 · 105w, 5h ago · 1 · · (Prologue) Help Me, Please ·

Okay, Finished.

Wow. Quite frankly, wow.

Although the over-use of paragraph breaks became slightly annoying, that's the only substantial complain I have. Written and made excellently. Gary really is believable, and the entire story is interesting.

And it's only the prologue?

#7 · 105w, 4h ago · 2 · · (Prologue) Help Me, Please ·

You asked for some criticism, and here is some grammar based criticism:

You have a couple of mechanical errors in your punctuation of dialogue.

1) Commas are only placed at the end or start of a piece of dialogue if, respectively, the following or preceding sentences contain a verb to indicate speech. Stuff like this:

>The usual please,” I kept my tone particularly neutral.

>I thumped my hoof against the floorboards, “Miss Sparkle.”

Are instances of this problem. Use a period or other suitable ending mark.

2) If you wish to indicate interruption of a sentence in a dialogue, then you want to use either an em or spaced en dash.

>omigosh-“

This extends to punctuation outside of dialogue.

>See, I had to keep an eye out for-

You have two more in your use of commas.

This sentence pretty much covers both:

>“I’m sure Applejack, same as I have been the past two years.

Firstly, there should be a comma before Applejack in order to show that the sentence is being addressed to her. The second is the comma after Applejack, and is commonly known as a comma splice. The technical explanation of this error is that of a comma being used to connect two independent clauses together. All you really need to know, though, is that if the comma can be comfortably replaced with a period or full stop, then it is highly likely to be a comma splice.

Anyway, that's me out. I would suggest having a read of Ezn's Guide if you want to get a better idea of how this stuff works than what I've defecated out here.

As for the story itself, it was an enjoyable enough read, if not as novel as I think you think it is. Have a thumbs up.

#8 · 105w, 4h ago · · · (Prologue) Help Me, Please ·

>>1456425

That's because of future, still-in-the-works events for the story :twilightsmile:

>>1456453

Hm... that ended up looking different on FiM than I thought it would. I'll correct for that in future chapters (Probably starting with Chapter 2, Chapter 1 is about a quarter written already :twilightblush:)

>>1456528

1). Wait, what? That's... hm... that's actually different from what I learned. My bad :twilightblush:

2). Could you slow tat one down for me? I'm not sure I understand what you're trying to tell me.

3). Whoops, thought I'd put that first comma in that sentence, and that second one is a bad habit that I thought I'd gotten out of. Thank you for pointing that out, I'd completely forgotten to check for those :facehoof:

And to be honest, I'm not surprised this isn't original. At all. I haven't seen one before, but that means a grand total of jack squat and I'm fully aware. I make no pretenses about being original in any sense... or even all that good of a writer :rainbowlaugh:

I just like exercising my writin' muscles and hope people enjoy he more coherent word-vomits I put out :twilightsmile:

I'm happy that you enjoy it tough, hope it continues to please! :pinkiehappy:

#9 · 105w, 4h ago · 1 · · (Prologue) Help Me, Please ·

>>1456602

I assume you mean the interruption of dialogue, yes? If not, then ignore this.

The following marks are a hyphen, en dash and em dash respectively: -, –, —. The first one is mainly used to connect together compound words in literature (aka, words made up of more than one word) and join separate syllables of a single word. Thus, things like "my happy death-machine" are different to things like "my happy-death machine".

A lot of writers tend to use dashes to cover the aspects of punctuation for which en and em dashes are used. Enough do so that it is a fairly common mistake. An en or em dash can be used to replace almost any other type of punctuation—supposedly. The truth behind their use is a lot more complex, but, for the most part, you can't go wrong with a dash.

Dashes cover interruptions from dialogue or writing, appositive and parenthetical structuring or, occasionally, to indicate dialogue. For the first one – aka, I finally get round to answering you – their use would look a little something like this:

>omigosh—"

See, I had to keep an eye out for—

Both of those em dashes could be replaced by a spaced en dash. Either way, I hope this answers your questions.

>>1456654

Ah, thank you. Still don't totally get it, but this is enough of a start for me to research it myself when I have the time. Thank you very much for the clarification :twilightsmile:

#11 · 105w, 4h ago · 1 · · (Prologue) Help Me, Please ·

gary stu parody? prologue of 10k words? mmm

Lets do this

Not bad. Not bad at all. You deserve many likes and favorites.

#13 · 105w, 3h ago · 2 · · (Prologue) Help Me, Please ·

>>1456696

Let's try to explain it this way...

When I type this phrase...

Pinkie started blurting out anything she thought of, "I want to tell you that dolphin ovaries are more delicious than—"

Twilight stuffed a hoof in the mare's mouth. "I don't need your political propaganda you pink commie you."

The first thought most people have is that the "—" is a hyphen, WHICH IT IS NOT! Different thing. Think of it as the difference between a comma and a semicolon when it comes to confusion: look similar, but different uses.

As far as I'm aware, for whatever you will ever use them as, — and – (em and en dashes respectively) are interchangable. I advise the em dash, —, for the fact that it's MUCH longer than a hyphen (Don't worry hyphen, we have pills for that).

Now, just a quick fyi, to type each...

Hyphen (-): Just press the damn hyphen key!

En Dash (–): Alt+0150

Em Dash (—): Alt+0151

PS: if you don't know what Alt+151 means, it means you press the "Alt" key and press those numbers while it is pressed down. NOTE THAT THIS MUST BE DONE ON YOUR NUMBERPAD. There might be another way to do it on Microsoft Word (maybe a double-hyphen does it as an autocorrect?), but I don't use it. :rainbowwild:

>>1456913

Dear Celestia,

I learned something today!

And no, it had jack shit to do with friendship.


Sincerely Thankful for the Lesson,

Andoriol


P.S. — It had to do with dolphin ovaries! Have fun with that mental image!

(Seriously though, thank you. I'll use that from now on, though I probably won't have time to go back and edit it into the prologue)

#16 · 105w, 54m ago · 1 · · (Prologue) Help Me, Please ·

>>1456913

In Microsoft Word, you can actually use the "Insert Symbol" button, and find it there. It's a lot more difficult, but typing on a laptop makes you crafty. Or, you can just copy it off of someone and paste it, but, like Widow said, it's not very easy to find.

>>1457205

Somehow I find it ironic you have a red and blue alicorn OC as your avatar. Which is arguably worse.

>>1457811 red and blue stand for this guy

besides, my cutiemark is the Matrix of Leadership :moustache:

I thought it was a combination of funny and sad. You did a good job on getting everything right. Seriously. MOAR Please! :pinkiehappy:

ok you got me interested. keeping my eye out on this one.

That was...impressive.

You've taken a common target of scorn and derision and turned it into a sympathetic character.  I applaud you good sir and look forward to more.

shit! best mindfuck/story i've read today- bravo, man!

#24 · 104w, 6d ago · 1 · · (Prologue) Help Me, Please ·

Best parody ever!

My contribution to a mistake.

around better than the Apple families.

Possessive VS Plural: Families is plural,. You need to use family's in the possessive form.  

So is the story going to be over those two years from when he first arrived?  Or is it going to be a continuation of this?  'Cause he's kiiiiiiind of not a Gary Stu anymore...

I think I just answered my own question.  :twilightblush:

>>1460597

Happy to please! And already on it!

>>1460893

Yay interest! Hope I satisfy!

>>1461038

Mm, not what I was going for, but looking back, that's what I did... huh. Ah well, Happy that worked out. And hope I live up to expectations!

>>1461391

Heh, not intended to be a mindfuck story, just to spark some thought.

>>1461980

Thank you, totally missed that.

>>1463123

This will actually handle the time after this. Which is actually an issue. The title and summary are not indicative of what the story as a whole will be about. It's what the prologue is about, but not the rest of the story, which will analyze the consequences of him having been a Gary-Stu. I'm more than open to suggestions. :pinkiehappy:

Actually, I'd like to make it rather blatant: I am looking for suggestions on alternate titles and summaries for this story, as the main story will actually deal with the repurcussions of his recently cured Gary-Stu status and not the status itself.

#27 · 104w, 6d ago · 1 · · (Prologue) Help Me, Please ·

>>1463199

I suggest Consequences of Unoriginality.

>>1463522

I love it.

Yoink!

Yes, please! I like your deconstruction immensely, it does a great job of making him NOT a Gary-Stu simply by the fact of making him hate it beyond belief and wish he didnt have it.

Beautiful :fluttercry:

Amazing story, you have my attention.

So now I need to ask, when are the next chapters due?

Or are you gonna upload whenever you finish them.

Character is a red and black Alicorn OC?

Yep.

The character hates it?

...

This story is actually interesting.  I like it.

I'll look it over later for grammatical fixes and generalized errors.

#33 · 104w, 4d ago · 1 · · (Prologue) Help Me, Please ·

Not too bad. I will keep my eye on this.

>>1464685

Thank you!

>>1466212

Thanks! And they'll be up as I get them finished, at a current rate of approximately one per two weeks depending on whether or not I find a job soon or not. (God I hope I do, freakin Central Florida job market)

>>1469441

Heh, amusing GIF, though it took me a sec to understand the comment though. Happy to have made an entertaining story :twilightsmile:

>>1470742

Thankies!


Oh, and sidenote: The mature rating is more a blanket for the language and thoughts involved, as well as for future clop and violence. The fic likely won’t exceed Teen for a while, but there will be Mature portions eventually.

Sidenote the second: I’m open to suggestions for the story, I have my ideas, but I love to hear new ones!

This is actually quite entertaining to read out of pure principal rather than quality, something the Illuminati of the site fail to grasp entirely. Well done, but these kinds cliffhangers should be reserved for situations that have actual weight behind them.

(There are a few types of cliff hangers, this one being a conversational one. One that is fun to write would be the action cliffhanger, wherein a character is suddenly charged or knocked over or even killed by another when the chapter ends.)

As far as I remember, you didn't have Luna involved at all with the story previously and this just seemed like he just generally didn't like her. This chapter could have been used to explain their relationship, since it was -as you described- 'an info dump', but oh well.

Wow, this had actually come out in quite a bit of time since the first chapter was released! Bravo! :pinkiehappy: Have to say I am not much of a fan that pretty much everyone seemed to have hated him but I know there will be reasons why. I just hope that things will improve for him soon.

Also a question, do you see the next chapter and future chapters coming out fairly soon after the current one becomes finished?

B). The hostily has a rather good reason to be there. And C). Applejack and Twilight have good reasons for their reactions.

Not something we as readers can judge yet, eh?

Also, I get the feeling Emeris doesn't really know princess Celestia, despite knowing her for two years. He's got a rather skewed perception of what she's ready to do. Impale him? Really? For something he'd no control over, didn't know he was the cause of, and didn't want? Doubtful.

hi

Imnot an autobot!!!! *punches you in the face*

>>1481669

Well the hostility is probably from what would be essentially mind rape. I mean, everything had to fawn over him and generally offer themselves (mind and body) to him. Regardless of his reactions (do not want) or circumstances (cursed, can't control the power), they probably saw it as deliberate or at the very least callous, since he kept coming back to town when they'd rather he just left forever (not taking into effect the resulting self-exile and extreme loneliness).

I hope Pinkie is still friendly, since she seemed to see through the Gary Stu most of the time, seeing him for what he actually was (not a bad person and wouldn't let the power get to his head).

Also longer than I thought

>>1481948

Yes, quite possibly. Also, it might be misdirected anger; as in, they're angry with themselves about how they acted towards him (Twilight and Fluttershy nearly raped him!), and vent it on him because that's easier than working out their own problems and guilt.

>>1481987

Something like that as well. Tons of issues, so little time.

"Applejack and Twilight have good reasons for their reactions."

No.  No they kind of don't.  They have good reason to be mad, sure.  But they are responsible for their own actions from this point forward.  They are no longer being influenced by the GSE.  They are throwing away every lesson about forgiveness and all that, over something that wasn't anyone's fault.

Unless he's still under the effects of the GSE, only in reverse or something.

>>1482355

Yeah, basically this. Having a reason for acting a certain way doesn't mean acting that way is justified.

>>1480700 I didn't do the cliffhanger as well as I'd hoped. It was meant to be a relatively minor cliffhanger but came off stronger than intended.

And Luna was offhandedly mentioned in the previous chapter as part of the group that broke his curse: Celestia, Luna, and the Mane Six. Emeris barely knows her as she was not able to completely resist the GSE as Celestia is able to. I hope the story continues to be enjoyable! :twilightsmile:

>>1481344 Most of the chapters probably aren't going to come out this quickly unfortunately.

And yeah, the everyone hating him thing is supposed to rub people wrong actually. It's supposed to feel excessive. And things will improve for him relatively slowly, but steadily. Part of the drama of the story is supposed to be how crap his lot has been, but how he deals with it. With maturity and grace rather than depression, anger, or other classic reactions.

>>1481401 Right away good sir/madam/stallion/mare!

>>1481669  I mentioned it because I fully expected it to be excessive, but didn't really feel like I had time to address their reasons while remaining within Emeris' PoV. Wanted to make sure the readers know that I'm aware of how it appears and that it's intentional :twilightsheepish:

Also, good catch on Emeris' "knowing" Celestia! Mind you, things were really bad, and to say that Celestia didn't consider having him executed would be a lie. But yes, Emeris' doesn't really understand Celestia. It would've devestated the sun goddess to have to make the decision, but when the options appear to be letting him live and ponies keep being killed or turned into gibbering wrecks, or exiling him and having it still continue just at a slower rate... or having him killed and stopping it...

There's a reason that Emeris was considering letting her kill him.

>>1481948 That's the gist of it for most ponies, there are individual stories and issues though among everything else though that complicates matters and gets the individual reactions such as Applejacks (Hostility) and Twilights (Violent).

>>1481987 There's also this, among other things.

>>1482355 Maybe the GSE has been inverted. Maybe there's other issues complicating things further. Or maybe, no one in-story has the full picture. You'll have to keep reading to find out :moustache: I just hope it's entertaining enough to do so :twilightsmile:

>>1482602 This is a good point! However, Applejack's reaction is mostly justified, Twilight's less so. But all Applejack did was deny him service and glare at him pretty bad.

Its not the best that i have read but it is funny so 8/10 kinda

man. good story, quick chapter upload too

Hopefully they'll all get alng soon once the whole explination is out!

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