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Slingshot619 121524

Joined September 2012
125 followers

    Slingshot619's Stories (12)

    • My Little Saints Row
      What happens when you crossover the most popular show ever with the most kickass gangsters?

      2,071 words · 763 views · 38 likes · 2 dislikes
    • Mare vs Machine
      basically the sequel to Blur.
      5,302 words · 677 views · 45 likes · 3 dislikes
    • Blur
      When Scout finds himself in Equestria, things can only go from bad to worse.
      12,680 words · 2,502 views · 193 likes · 28 dislikes
    • Daring Dash
      It's Rainbow's birthday! and what does her friends do? I think you know.
      2,667 words · 661 views · 49 likes · 6 dislikes
    • Corruption
      9,106 words · 551 views · 30 likes · 3 dislikes
    • Let Me In
      4,311 words · 406 views · 19 likes · 2 dislikes
    • The Ponytype
      4,912 words · 949 views · 38 likes · 8 dislikes
    • Strings
      4,778 words · 511 views · 23 likes · 5 dislikes
    • Who I Am
      7,620 words · 218 views · 9 likes · 1 dislikes
    • Showdown
      5,836 words · 1,177 views · 25 likes · 9 dislikes
    331
    2,651


    Scootaloo has always been a fan of Rainbow Dash. But, when a chain of events and Rainbow's new found popularity causes Rainbow Dash to ignore her, even the strongest of wills can crumble. (Cover art and Tainted Scootaloo belong to deviant user Moonveil. I do not own it in anyway shape or form. Link for the pic is here http://moonveil.deviantart.com/art/tainted-scootaloo-282405342 )

    First Published
    16th Oct 2012
    Last Modified
    4th Apr 2013

    Comments ( 331 )

    #1 · Chapter 1 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    This seems interesting!

    #2 · Chapter 1 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    It escalated a bit quickly (maybe draw out Pinkie's transformation? "No! I swore I'd never let her out again!"), but it does sound like an interesting concept.

    #3 · Chapter 1 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    epic cover. i just might take a looksie

    #4 · Chapter 1 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    I agree with bahatumay on both counts. It is a very interesting concept, but don't let it escalate too quickly.

    #5 · Chapter 1 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Is that pic on DeviantArt? if it is i'd love a link

    #6 · Chapter 1 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    #7 · Chapter 1 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    I really like this story. Nice and steady pace too. Hope you make more!:pinkiehappy:

    #8 · Chapter 1 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    I think you could have put a little more into what caused Scootaloo to seek revenge.  As it stands, the only inciting factor is that RD yelled at her.  Doesn't seem like it would be enough for Scootaloo to seek revenge in the way that (I think) is being implied.  All relationships have problems, so the first time that one comes up usually doesn't end up driving people away from each other (unless you're one of those premature idiots who think it's 'love at first sight')

    Also, as others have said, you could have drawn out Pinkie's transformation.

    Just my thoughts. Other than that great concept; I am looking forward to where this is going. :twilightsmile:

    #9 · Chapter 1 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    I expect more and I expect you to be diabolical

    Great start :yay:

    #10 · Chapter 1 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    "I think your missing something"

    *You're

    #11 · Chapter 2 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1450511 Thanks for the heads up!

    #12 · Chapter 1 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1450270 I agree. There needs to be a little more buildup, you're just rushing things right to the conclusion.

    #13 · Chapter 1 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1450270

    I feel the same way just a bit more critical.... she gave her her house :facehoof: and she's wanting revenge for her having a big ego and thinking about herself, shes always had a similar mentality to that. The bad part is you didn't even do anything like a prologue to build up a believable relationship with her to warrant this kind of behavior she's never had a close relationship in the show and its only fandom that brought them two together so I'd have to rely on reading a fic that involves those two you'd be better off linking someone else's story to help with that even if it is a single chapter one shot :ajsmug: , hell even Pinkies character isn't explained enough she evil or something?

    Maybe have a prologue that builds upon an abusive relationship with Scootaloo and its only been getting worse over the years or something, while having pinkie in there somewhere that explains her behavior and not having it oh she's the Pinkie from Cupcakes that's why she acts that way.

    Now at its core its a good concept, you just need to go into way more detail explain a few things and not try to have it being dark and Scootaloo and Pinkie are randomly evil as its only statement. I don't like Grimdarks... I like Grimdarks that tell a story.

    I realize that it could be your intention to just make a shallow Grimdark :pinkiegasp: and everything above is just personal opinion :trollestia:

    #14 · Chapter 2 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    damnnnnnnnn:twilightoops:

    #15 · Chapter 2 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1450542 I plan on releasing a prequel to explain the rocky road Rainbow and Scoots had and the anger that had been building up inside. Don't worry. All in good time.

    #16 · Chapter 2 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    "My my, I didn't think you were one that liked to dress up." Sweetie Belle says

    I think you got Sweetie Belle and Rarity mixed up. But good job. :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

    #17 · Chapter 2 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1450576 Well, Sweetie Belle has been living together for quite a while, and Sweetie Belle does admire her sister, soooooo.........

    #18 · Chapter 2 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Tracking, make it worth my while.  :ajsmug:

    #19 · Chapter 2 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    The pacing here is way too fast. I mean, there's no build up to any of it.

    Dash yells at Scootaloo once, then all of a sudden... 'Let's go to Pinkie Pie and ask her how to take revenge on a pony, cuz she's completely insane and really good at that sorta thing.' It just doesn't seem like something that would happen between two ponies that consider each other sisters.

    I'm sorry, but it all seems very forced and rather contrived.

    #20 · Chapter 2 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1450649

    What this guy said. This is a great premise but its jumping pretty big jumps at the moment now. Still I hope to see more of this.

    #21 · Chapter 2 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1450708 As I mentioned before a prequel will be released, it will explain the rocky road the two pegasi have had, the back stabbing, the lies, and of course the whole Pinkie thing. All in good time.

    #22 · Chapter 2 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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       "If you were my sister, you wouldn't have yelled at me."

    really? I facepalmed. I got no ill intentions, but it's not going in a good direction. You don't have to release Cupcakes Pinkamena to help Scoots get revenge (the original Pinkamena was just bonkers, she wasn't twisted and evil). Triple rainboom sounds a bit off the charts as well.

    All in all, you escalate too quickly and jump from event to event, discarding emotional part with one short sentence.

    #23 · Chapter 2 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    cool story bro... i want more please...:pinkiehappy:

    #24 · Chapter 2 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Oh my gosh, that picture is awesome!:pinkiegasp::raritystarry::rainbowderp: Where did you get it?

    #25 · Chapter 2 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    I like it, but I'm gonna have to agree with a few others, this needs more of a build up, HOWEVER other than that I really love it overall

    #26 · Chapter 2 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    "I'm sorry, you must have mistaken me for somebody else."

    I believe it should have said somepony else ^^

    Oh, and the your lack of character build up seriously bothered me. Scootaloo is a sweet little thing, and she would never automatically deem her untimate idol as some 'ego-manic that she hates'. :scootangel:

    And, if Scootaloo was the sister she said she was to RD, then she would accecpt the fact that RD was being a bit... Rude. If someone gave me a huge mansion and taught me how to fly, I'd be forever grateful. Sure, I'd be a bit upset that she was being a jerk, but I'd just give her time and stick with my friends.

    Also, you need to mention something about Pinkie Pie's insane side. This is comming from someone who's never read Cupcakes, by the way. You need to explain how Scoots knew about Pinkamena, and why she'd ever go to her for advice.

    Over all, I liked the story. It has a good plot, but the character build up was really what got me.

    Enough of my bad review, though! This is comming from someone who has the writing and critique ability of a dead hedgehog. I think the story has great potential, and it has a great plot!

    I'm looking forward to chapter 3, hopefully there will be a bit more explaination there :3

    Keep up the good work! :moustache:

    #27 · Chapter 2 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Erm...while I do like the concept, isn't this story moving a tad fast? I mean, I understand that, yes, Scoots wants revenge, and she wants it NAO! :flutterrage:, but I found it strangely peculiar that it took little to no effort to learn how to fly and perform complex aerial maneuvers when she could barely fly "in a few days" and easily coax out Pinkamena. The aerial training I can sorta buy...sort of...but the whole thing with Pinkamena just seemed...:rainbowhuh:

    There was a line in the story that just...irritated me. It was this one:

      "If you were my sister, you wouldn't have yelled at me."

    ...what? :ajbemused:

    Siblings argue and yell at each other all the time. True, while I never had such a sibling, my cousins and I have butt heads with each other so many times its a wonder we can still get along, let alone be in the same room together. However, its because we have a semblance of family love there, we can still persevere.

    Which leads me into another point. Is This version of Scootaloo and orphan (like the many other renditions out there)? If so, I can kind of forgive this line, but it still is a bit irritating.  

    My broken record style of reviewing (coughbitchingcough) aside, this story has a lot potential. Really, you just need to slow it down and focus on development of your characters. Because, realistically, no one can go from "OH-WOE-IS-ME-MY-IDOL-NO-LONGER-LOVES-ME!" :raritydespair: :raritycry: :applecry: to "THAT-DOES-IT-I-WILL-HAVE-MY-VENGEANCE!" :twilightangry2: :flutterrage: :pinkiecrazy:

    But hey, take my review as the sleep-deprived honest critique or the caffeine-deprived hate message. Its up to you

    #28 · Chapter 2 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    One thing: there's already a fic called Shattered. Maybe a name change would be in order?

    Gen
    #29 · Chapter 2 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    I like this. Gives me butterflies in my stomach. Either that or my lunch enjoys your story. Either way, I really like this.

    #30 · Chapter 2 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    DMOS at the top of the page. She mastered all the tricks in just a few days? Not likely. Not even plausible.

    #31 · Chapter 1 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Well that escalated quickly.

    #32 · Chapter 1 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Real interesting, but it be better if it wasn't so fast.:twilightsmile:

    #33 · Chapter 2 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Like I said before kinda fast, this could be a really cool story. 20% cooler, sorry 'bout that. Anyways I look forward to see where this goes and don't forget to describe things.

    #35 · Chapter 2 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    That cover art is awesome and ... i'm going so far to call it beautiful.

    #36 · Chapter 1 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Faved

    #37 · Chapter 2 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Seems Scootaloo is getting a spot in my favorite team very soon. The Shadowbolts. :pinkiecrazy:

    Cooliofir135

    :derpytongue2:

    #38 · Chapter 2 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Very nice work but it did kind of rush. other than that though :pinkiecrazy: It's Fine!:rainbowkiss:

    #39 · Chapter 1 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Following because it's the first story where Scootaloo will go crazy [that I've heard of]

    #40 · Chapter 2 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    This feels a bit like a Dan .Vs episode, but with ponies and Pinkamena.

    #41 · Chapter 1 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    That escalated quickly.

    #42 · Chapter 2 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Alright writing, decent plot, contains Scootaloo...Instant feature.  :scootangel:

    #44 · Chapter 2 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    #45 · Chapter 1 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Ok what the fuck, man? That has to be the weakest motivation ever! Not too mention Rainbow Dash is so OOC here it's not even funny. So what? Rainbow scorns Scootaloo once and then yells at her later a maximum of one time for something she probably wouldn't get riled up over? I'd ay rewrite the chapter and try slowing things down a bit. For Scootaloo to go off the handle to the point she wants to wreck RD's reputation and thus life, she needs to have been subjected to more than just being yelled at. Also RD and Pinkie are pretty badly out of character. Raonbow is pretty much a 2D cardboard cut out with no depth to her. She's basically acting like a bitch for the hell of it which is not very good writing. You need to at least have some reasonable explanation why she'd betray her friend's trust like that. You know, the whole ELEMENT OF LOYALTY thing?

    #46 · Chapter 2 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1452705definitely:pinkiecrazy:

    #47 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    :pinkiecrazy:

    #48 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    i am loving this story. i have been waiting for something like this to come along for a while. thank you for writing it...

    #49 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Wow awesome update speed :D

    #50 · Chapter 2 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1450780 Yeah, no. For a story to work the motivation for the way the characters are acting needs to be established in this story. Not in a prequel as motivation also usually were the readers start trying to identify with the characters. Writing a story with no explanation of why they are acting this way outside of a single small argument is not a good idea at all.

    >>1451814 Sleep-deprived honest critiques are the best. Also a "tad fast"? This story is bolting along faster than Rainbow Dash and suffers for it. It's like me writing this:

    One day Rainbow Dash flew to Cloudsdale. then Spitfire smacked her in the face with a trout as Mechagodzilla attacked. :rainbowwild:

    you need to answer why RD is flying to Cloudsdale, when and where she meets Spitfire and then go on to show why Spitfire smacks her in the face with a trout and preferably why she has one and then go on to show when and where Mechagodzilla shows up. You need to establish the picture before moving onto the action as it explains why they are doing things. Explaining why in a prequel makes no freaking sense.

    #51 · Chapter 2 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Scootaloo felt a grin tug at her lips as she read the article. She tossed it on her couch and headed out to Sugarcube Corner. She entered and found Pinkie by the counter as usual.

          "How's it going?"

    Scootaloo flashed her a grin.

          "Nice job out there, you ready for the next step?"

          "Sure."

          "Okay"

          "Eliminate her"

          "What!?"

    Scootaloo stared at Pinkie for a moment before realizing she was dead serious.

          "Um, Pinkie, no offence, but I don't think Rainbow Dash deserves to die. I just wanted to get back at her, not murder her."

          "Okey dokey lokey! But if you change your mind you know where to look for me."

          "Thanks Pinkie."

    Ft. :pinkiecrazy: For their new Track : Cupcakes!

    "Nice job out there, you ready for the next step?"

          "Sure."

          "Okay"

          "Eliminate her"

          "What!?"

    <(LOL!)

    #52 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Ooh this is getting good especially this chapter, you wrote it in a way that when the stare down between Rainbow and Scoots happened I actually felt the tension between them. Keep up the fantastic work

    #53 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Scootaloo knew what had to be done, it was time

    #54 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1453200 BWAHAHAHAHAHa:rainbowlaugh:

    #55 · Chapter 1 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    The first problem with this story is that no reasons are provided for any of the actions taken by the characters.  Rainbow Dash comes of as being snooty for absolutely no reason.  I know you SAY that she's a Wonderbolt now (which raises the further question of why they chose THIS year to give her the uniform if she's won the best young flier competition ten years in a row), but we don't FEEL that there are really any added pressures on her.  Seems like she doesn't even need to be a Wonderbolt, having multiple mansions already and all.  Seriously, where did the money for those come from?

    Scootaloo wants serious revenge over a single outburst from someone she's been a fan of for at least a decade?  Yeah, right.  That makes sense.  Same thing goes for Pinkie; although it's well established that she loves a good prank, she is absolutely NOT a mean-spirited character.

    Furthermore, you have massive problems with run-on sentences.  This is something that I would never expect to see in a story up in the feature box.  Mods, I am disappointed. :twilightangry2:

    #56 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    #57 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1453270 I'm really starting to get frustrated here. I'll explain it in a prequel. Another thing is i've noticed you haven't got a single story. If you can put your money where your mouth is and write a better story, then I will bow down

    #58 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Awesome story is awesome.

    As for any one thats giving you a hard time

    "Please forward all complaints to the 'Office of Recieval of Complaints.'

    Take note that the 'Office of Recieval of Complaints' has closed until further notice.:trollestia:"

    #59 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    #61 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Just looking at the cover makes me think this could be a prequel to Cupcakes. I say this, before reading the story, is because the description says Soots doesn't care for/hates RD and askes Pinkie to kill her.

    Just a guess.

    #62 · Chapter 1 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    This story has a lot of potential. It seems that this story is not necessarily the tale of how Scootaloo developed her hatred for RD, but the results of keeping said hatred locked up, and then having it all let out at one time. Also, Pinkie's "transformation" has peaked my interest. Is it some evil force? Is it possibly an alternate personality? Maybe it's the manifestation of the anger she has felt her entire life, but is too nice to show day-to-day. Also, to everyone bitching about the seemingly 2-dimensional relationship between Scoots and RD, and Scoots' seemingly unjustified hatred, the author said that he/she would be writing a sequel at some unidentified point in time, so be patient. Since I'm not one to end on a sour note, great job on the first chapter, good luck on the rest of the story and you just got yourself a new follower.

    #63 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    FIRST BLOOD.

    Not knowing the particulars of the Scoot/dash relationship, All I can say is that both are being total jerks. I'm sure there is more to this issue than anypony can see, something that may be covered in the prequel you are planning.

    other than that, good job

    The Student has become the Master

    #64 · Chapter 1 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Oooh. Grimdark scoots:scootangel:

    #65 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    :facehoof: I think I'm right on this one.........

    #66 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1453870 Finally! Someone understands.:scootangel:

    #67 · Chapter 1 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Er, it's an interesting idea with potential, but the execution's a bit... fast. It takes no time at all for RD to snap, and a stressed-out RD's one line and two seconds is all it takes for Scootaloo to seek revenge on her idol. Then, Pinkamena gets released after no time at all as well, Scoots doesn't seem shocked by her, etc.

    It's not entirely a bad story, but it needs work.

    #68 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1453270 Really?  Do you not pay the attention to the author notes at all? The author said that he/she will be writing a prequel describing the tension that led up to this magnificent battle. Also, think of it like this: the one constant in Scoots' life, and the reason she lived day-to-day was to please RD. However, RD betrayed her. It devastated Scoots, made her lose all sense, she is an angered Pegasus with nothing to loose, a very dangerous enemy. And like the author said, put your money where your mouth is or shut the fuck up.

    #69 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Yes yes yes yes yes yes more yes yes yes and all of my yes. Have a moustache :moustache:! Hell, have all the moustaches:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

    #70 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1453987 Thanks, also:

    This story, Princess Luna approves of it. I do believe that congratulations are in order.

    #71 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Just please don't make it like a reversed rainbow factory im still sad bout how it ended

    #72 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    hi rainbow:scootangel:

    huh:rainbowhuh:

    *scootaloo takes out a knife and stabs rainbow*:rainbowderp:

    shh its over now:scootangel:

    pinkie:you have done well my faithful student:pinkiecrazy:

    #73 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    I love this so far, a bit fast paced but well written. The story is to early in development to give an accurate analysis. Write more of it and Ill analyze it.

    #74 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    ...well, reading this...(again, sleep deprived mind you) I have to say this:

    I know you're planning a prologue or prequel of sorts...Really, you don't need it. If anything, you can just scatter bits and pieces throughout the story as minor flashbacks, letting the readers slowly piece the picture together. Sure, an exposition chapter would be a nice thing, but only if it doesn't break the flow of the story. When you think about it (having read my past comment [coughbitchingcough]), having a prologue/prequel thingy would cause your pace of the story (which admittedly is still a tad bit fast for me) to stumble for a bit and lose its consistency.

    Furthermore...about the chapter length. Now, while I'm sure others will shout for :flutterrage: MOAR!!!!!!, I will say otherwise. You write what you want; after all, its you're story. As long as you got across what you felt what needed to get across, you can put your pen down, go down to your local coffee shoppe, grab a latte and call it a day. (...don't mind the last bits, I'm slightly insane when not fully rested). I mean, yes, you could benefit from writing out full epic length chapters, but going with what I said earlier, you lose your flow and consistency (unless, well, it is full of epic Aerial Dogfights with Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash going head to head, guns blazing, laser fire decorating Luna's night and missiles exploding throughout the sky!...and not basic padding for the sake of just adding length)

    Now I'm gonna stop here before I annoy someone. :twilightblush:

    Good luck and happy writing! :twilightsmile:

    #75 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Everything is backwards. Why do you have to start at the climax, and then write a separate prequel? It makes no sense.

    #76 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    And so the truth flowith forth. Anyways good chapter even though the saucy between Pinkimina and pinkie is a little fast.:pinkiesad2:

    #77 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    I like it, but the pacing is a little fast

    #78 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1453289 I don't really understand why people get so [insert various terms used for anger] over how a story is written.

    The point is, the reader is being told a story, as they want to have something to read. Who cares if it's not up to their standards or not; you're the one who writes the story, and thus, they should read it, and either like or dislike it. But instead, a lot of people like to feel superior by pointing out anyflaw and everyflaw the can, just to either hate, or, as said, feel superior. Now, with constructive criticism? That's helpful, and people often like that

    My belief is that, I bring a story here only for people to read and enjoy [or hate, whatever]. I don't care about the status it may have; my main goal is just to publish. And I think that's the way it should be.>>1454793

    #79 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    WAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

    you know what?

    I don't care...

    I also shouldn't judge stories before I read them...

    I shall read then come back.

    #80 · Chapter 1 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    -_-

    Not gonna downvote, but I am gonna stop reading - I don't like darkfics.

    #81 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    So, wait, scoots gets rejected ONCE and decides its a murderin' time? Then she visits PP and goes "hey, can you do pinkamena for me?" "No." "Pleeease?" "Heres a leather jacket and hoof cffs, now you can be emo too.":rainbowhuh:

    I'm sorry, I can in fact suspend disbelief to a great degree, but I draw the fucking line at straight stupid.

    Downvoted.

    #82 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Say, out of curiosity, where did you get the story image?

    #83 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Bth are way out of character, there is no development of characters and plot+your writting is kinda repetitive. It's an interesting story but weird at the same time. Needs more development. Oh, and the Pinkie Pie scenes, what the f***?

    #84 · Chapter 1 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    I started reading, because it was a goth scoots with a bloody eye, looking senile, and come to read it, the grammar ruins it.

    #85 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1453270 Good sir Pinkie isn't being mean, that's Pinkemena a fic mode of Pinkie. She isn't Pinkie anymore... Also Scootaloo dedicated her whole life to RD and RD just tossed her aside after 10 YEARS of following, you would be mad to... right!?:pinkiecrazy:

    #86 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 23h ago · · ·
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    this fic wasnt dark at all :trollestia: .... who the fuck am i kiding this fucker scared me :fluttershbad:

    im bad with grim darks i dont like them . the one day i decide o grow a par is the day i finish one of these

    #87 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 22h ago · · ·
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    Ehh, not one for the dark side. Maybe later.

    #88 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 21h ago · · ·
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    So that is how she got the red eye hrm

    #89 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 21h ago · · ·
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    >>1453870 Maybe it's a cheap Cupcakes ref?

    I'm surprised to see this in the top10. Very surprised, judging by the lack of quality and content.

    #90 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 21h ago · · ·
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    >>1454616 Well, look at it this way. If I were to release the prequel first, then other people would just look at it and assume "Just another fan fic about Scoots and RD. Nothing new." But if I were to release this first, then when other people see it, they will instead say "Oh goodie! The prequel to a story I like! Time to see where it all began." Makes sense?

    #91 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 20h ago · · ·
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    >>1455136 I searched google images and found it.

    #92 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 19h ago · · ·
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    I'm enjoying the story for the most part, it can definitely be taken to higher heights with what it's got goin' for it, so I do hope you bring it there.  Great job so far though! :twilightsmile:

    #93 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 19h ago · · ·
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    I look forward to the upcoming chapters with glee and anticipation!

    #94 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 19h ago · · ·
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    There shalt be no bitching and moaning from me about the things that'll be adressed in a prequel. Pinkamena Promise :pinkiecrazy:

    Now that that's out of the way, I just wanna say that details are your best friend in tese types of stories my good writer:twilightsmile:. Go more into whats happening at the moment, like back a chapter with the first showing up of Rainbow, go into any last-minute doubts she may have had and her feeling of actually accomplishing it. Now remember that I do think this story is great with a fantastic premise... but add more reluctance and DETAILS! (You kinda agitate Twilight :twilightangry2:)

    #95 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 18h ago · · ·
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    >>1455814 Still as polite and helpful as ever I see.

    #96 · Chapter 1 · 31w, 17h ago · · ·
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    I must agree with the other who have pointed out how quickly this 'fic escalated.

    The emotional back-story, especially the "turn-point", was not yet developed fully and doesn't really allow the reader to form much of a bond with Scootaloo. Which leads to her "turning bad" being difficult to totally understand or fully agree with as the lack of bond prevents the reader from "feeling" betrayed by RD to the point where we would agree with revenge. After-all right now RD only gives us, me, the "feeling" of being very stressed and attempting to follow the example of the Wonderbolts --  As RD sees them --  and as such would warrant a much lesser "retribution."

    I could say more but I am ridiculously tired, I will read onwards for the sake of reading though.

    Edit: I read you were going to do a prequel and some of your other comments to others that have said stuff along the lines of : "too fast, not enough reason, etc., etc."

    I can somewhat understand your frustration from receiving so many like comments, but bear in  mind that many of them were probably intended to point out the most grievous weakness or fault of the story.

    The emotions and ideas of the characters are rather jarring to be honest.

    #97 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 16h ago · · ·
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    This, I like this bring me another chapter

    #98 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 16h ago · · ·
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    While I halfway agree with the people that are saying that this feels a little rushed, I think that this is a wonderful concept for a story. I am really looking forward to where you take this. :raritywink: Rarity approves this story!

    #99 · Chapter 1 · 31w, 15h ago · · ·
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    >>1449935 Totally, and maybe draw out the "Killer outfit" she gets. I think this is great, keep writing!

    #100 · Chapter 3 · 31w, 14h ago · · ·
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    Sweet Scootaloo ends up twisted in an endless hunt for revenge.... I love this story. I really do. Moar please.:scootangel:

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