Exercise.
For copyright/disclaimer information, see Chapter One.
Version 1.1
Published 11/10/12
Chapter Seven: Exercise.
'What're you going to do?'
Twilight lay on the couch, her head covered by the blanket.
'How are you going to cope with losing them?'
The pillow was wet with her tears.
'Will you ever be able to?'
She sniffled.
'Or will it break you?'
Her leg hurt.
'Drive you into depression...'
She turned over to get into a more comfortable position.
'...and loneliness?'
Her eyes widened in fear.
'Or insanity.'
Images of her wearing Nightmare Moon's armor flashed through her head.
'No! You won't let that happen. You'll have the Princesses.'
Her mood brightened.
'And Spike.'
She smiled.
'You'll be able to witness the great achievements ponykind will make.'
Dash groggily raised her head.
'And make new friends,'
She noticed Twilight's movements.
'to go with the old.'
Gasping, she jumped up and walked over to Twilight.
'Besides, you'll find a way to reverse this before anypony else finds out.'
She pealed the covers off of Twilight's head and squealed in a very uncool manner.
“Twilight! You're awake.”
Surprised by Dash's actions, Twilight was unable to stop her as she grabbed her into a tight hug.
“Ack! Can't breathe.”
The hug loosened.
“Oh, Twilight! I'm so glad you're alright.”
Twilight regained her bearings and returned the hug.
“It's okay, Dash. I'm fine now.”
Realization dawned.
“Rainbow Dash, did your flight 'lessons' cause me to crash into the ground at terminal velocity?”
Dash chuckled nervously.
“Well, ah, it wasn't the lessons, it was an unexpected thermal that—”
Twilight's grip around Dash tightened.
“And did I get seriously injured?”
“You were able to heal yourself! So it's not like—”
The grip continued to tighten.
“Uh, Twilight, could you let go? It's getting kind of uncomfortable.”
Twilight glanced around the room.
“And did you panic and reveal me to Fluttershy?”
The grip tightened even more.
“Tw—ack—Twilight! It's getting hard to—ack—breathe.”
“Even though I explicitly told you not to tell any living thing?” she said through clenched teeth.
“Who knows?—ack—Fluttershy might be a—ack—a vampony.”
“Twilight, why are you killing Dash?”
Twilight let go of Dash, allowing her to gasp for breath.
“I wasn't killing her, Spike. I was just giving her a hug.”
Dash glared at Twilight.
“It sure felt like you were to me.”
Jostled by all the noise, Fluttershy awoke.
“What's goin—”
She noticed Twilight.
“Twilight!”
Fluttershy zipped over to the purple alicorn like a hummingbird and proceeded to hug her like Dash had.
“Oh, it's so good to see you awake! We thought that you might have had a brain injury or something.”
Spike and Dash joined the hug. Twilight relished it.
'Live for the moment. The future is Future Twilight's problem.'
“But, ah, if you don't mind me asking, why do you have wings?”
Twilight's eyes widened as the hug broke.
“Well, I don't know. I just woke up with them the other day.”
“And has slowly been driving herself insane ever since.”
She glared at Spike.
“I have not.”
“Especially since you got that letter.”
'The letter!'
“Oh no oh no! How long was I out for!?”
Twilight looked around, searching frantically for a calendar.
“It's Friday morning. You were out for a whole day.” Fluttershy said.
“Friday! I've got to be in Canterlot on Tuesday. There's still so much I have to do. I have to get tickets. I have to pack. Where will I stay? When will—”
Fluttershy and Dash looked at each other before returning their gaze to the frantic alicorn.
“Why do you have to go to Canterlot? Did something happen? Are the Princesses in danger?! Do you need to fight some ancient ev—”
“No, Dash! Why would you think it's something like that?”
“Well, every other time we've been to Canterlot it's because something exciting's happened. Discord, the Changelings, the Crystal Empire, the Equestrian Sci-fi Conve—”
Dash shoved a hoof into her mouth.
“What was that last one?” Twilight asked.
“Uh, uh...the Crystal Empire?”
Several beads of sweat ran down Dash's face.
'You'll have to remember that for when you're not insanely freaking out about this alicorn business.'
“That's what I thought.”
Dash breathed a sigh of relief.
“So? Why are you going to Canterlot?” she asked, trying to steer the conversation as far away from her little slip up as possible.
“I have to testify before Parliament about the Changeling Invasion.”
Dash scrunched her face up in disgust.
“Blech! Government. There's nothing slower and more mind-numbing.”
“But, uh, you're not going to go with those wings, are you?” Fluttershy spoke up.
“Oh no. I've got this spell that'll hide them. Here, let me show you.”
'Good thing I memorized it before those flight lessons.'
Twilight's horn lit up and the purple fire erupted around her. Fluttershy let out a squeak in surprise.
“Oh, I see. But, um, isn't it kind of a bad idea to go there to talk about changelings while using a changeling spell?”
Spike stared at Twilight smugly.
“O-Of course not. It's not like they'll check for spells when I get there.”
'I swear to Luna, if that dream was foreshadowing...'
“B-But what are you going to tell them? You're-You're not going to lie, are you?”
Spike radiated smugness.
“No—look, I'll sort everything out. Don't worry.”
Fluttershy hesitantly nodded.
“But you have to do something for me, Fluttershy.”
“What?”
“You have to promise not to tell anyone about my wings, okay?”
“Okay.”
'What, no 'but you should reveal yourself before you go insane'? Why can't all my friends be like Fluttershy?'
Twilight smiled brightly.
“Great. Now, considering I just exhausted over three quarters of my magical reserves and expended at least twelve thousand calories healing myself, I say we get something to eat.”
“That reminds me.”
Fluttershy flew off before returning a moment later carrying a three gallon jug with a little umbrella and straw sticking out of it.
“You need to drink all of this. Because you've been out for over a day, you're awfully dehydrated.”
“I don't feel dehydrated.”
“Are you feeling weak?”
“Well, yes, but that's because of the heali—”
“What about dizziness?”
“A little, but it's due to the cra—”
“Heart palpitations?”
“That's from the stress of the las—”
“Confusion?”
“What? Why—”
“Sluggishness?”
“I've been unconscious for a day!”
“Inability to urinate?”
Twilight gave an embarrassed look before she hastily grabbed the jug, sat down, and began to drink.
“Hey, Fluttershy? What's with the umbrella?” Dash asked as she pointed to it.
“Oh, Angel went through a phase where he wouldn't drink anything unless it had one in it. Once he moved out of that phase, I was stuck with hundreds of them, so I started putting them in everypony's beverages to get rid of them.”
Dash rolled her eyes.
“You really need to stand up to him, Fluttershy.”
“I couldn't. Besides, it was so cute when he would move the little umbrella around as he drank.”
Dash threw her hooves up in defeat.
“Speaking of the furry little demon, where is he?” asked Spike.
Fluttershy gave Spike a look.
“He's gone for the week, visiting his mother-in-law.”
“Mother-in-law?! Uhugh—” Spike shuddered, “I don't even want to imagine what she's like.”
“She's really quite nice.”
“Yeah, sure she is, and this alicorn business isn't going to implode in on Twilight either.”
Twilight spit out the straw.
“Spike, don't say stuff like that!”
“What, so you want it to implode? 'Cause I could have Dash fly to Canterlot and tell the Princesses.”
Twilight gave him a flat look.
“No, Spike. You said it sarcastically, which implies it will implode. It won't. Everything will be fine.”
'It has to be fine.'
“Whatever you say, Twilight.”
Twilight continued to stare at Spike. Fluttershy bit her lip.
“Why don't I start making food?”
**********
Fluttershy, Spike, and Rainbow Dash stared at Twilight. She was inhaling the meal in front of her. No pancake, egg, or (simulated) piece of meat was left unmolested in her ravenous onslaught.
“Pass the juice.”
Dash, slack jawed, slide over the carton of OJ. Twilight chugged it for a moment before cringing.
“Blagh. I hate pulp.”
She moved her attention over to the fried eggs, which she wolfed down.
“Delicious.”
“Um, Twilight?” asked Fluttershy.
Twilight stopped shoving several pieces of toast into her maw.
“Yes?”
“I was just thinking that maybe you should slow down a teeny bit?”
For the first time, Twilight looked over the table. What had once been several plates stacked high with food was now only empty plates with crumbs too small for even Fluttershy's mouses.
Twilight grabbed a napkin and daintily dabbed her mouth.
“Uh, yes, now that you mention it, I do think I've eaten eno—”
She let loose a loud belch and proceeded to blush.
“Wow, Twilight. I didn't know you had it in ya.”
“Be quiet, Dash.”
Before they could continue, a knock at the front door interrupted their conversation.
“Excuse me.”
Fluttershy got up to answer the door. On the other side of the door, Applejack was there to greet her.
“Hey, Fluttershy, nice to see you. I was wonderin' if you could help me.”
“Of course. What do you need help with?”
“Ah'm havin' a mite of trouble with those darn gophers again and I was wonderin' if you could come out and round them up like last time.”
“Oh sure. Those poor gophers' claws must be worn to the nub trying to dig their little holes with all those roots in the way.”
“'Poor' ain't exactly the word I would use.” Applejack mumbled. She glanced up and noticed Twilight and company sitting in the kitchen.
“I didn't know you had Twilight and RD over.”
“Oh, uh, they were just visiting.” Fluttershy winced slightly at her minor lie, “Why don't you come in and we can talk.”
“Why thank you.”
Applejack walked in and made her way with Fluttershy to the kitchen.
Dash noticed their approach.
“Hey, it's Applejack.”
Twilight and Spike both turned to see as Fluttershy and Applejack took their seats around the table.
“Applejack, what are you doing here?” asked Twilight.
“Ah'm here about a gopher problem Ah'm havin'.”
“Gophers?”
“Yeah, gophers. The little vermin burrow underground causin' all sorts of havoc with the apple trees' roots. Not to mention the irrigation problems they bring.”
Fluttershy tried to defend her animal friends.
“Oh, they can't be so bad, Applejack. They can't help it if they need a place to live.”
“Well they need to find a different place to live.”
“They're only there because of the yummy apples.”
Applejack's voice grew louder.
“Then maybe they need to start eating different foods.”
Fluttershy stood up.
“Why should they? Apples are a solid food for them to eat that is very nutritious.”
Twilight looked at Dash while the yellow pegasus and orange earth pony had their verbal sparring match.
“Why do I get the feeling they've had this conversation before.”
Dash rolled her eyes.
“You think this is bad, just wait until the fruit bats start roosting.”
Twilight looked concerned.
“How bad does it get?”
“One year, things descended into a fight.”
The purple unicorn bit her lip in worry.
“That doesn't sound goo—”
“A food fight.”
“W-What?”
Dash sighed contently.
“It was great. The Apple family baked pies and Fluttershy made seaweed wraps.”
“Well that doesn't sound too ba—”
“Who would have thought you could chuck them that hard. She was sniping Apple family from fifty yards away.”
“On second thought, I'm going with my original thought and saying it doesn't sound goo—”
“Of course then the Apples whipped out the strudel.” Dash's eyes glazed over, “Not even Gilda, and she's from Griffia-Minotaury, could make strudel that good.”
'If you don't stop her then she'll ramble on about this like an old war veteran.'
“Well, who won?”
“I don't even remember. Once the strudel was used, everything else was just a blur of sugar and lard.”
Twilight sighed at the waste of a conversation before she returned her attention to the arguing pair.
“Well maybe it's 'cause of Parliament failin' to properly regulate due to the cap on total earmarked expenditure that the Buster-Subsidy Act imposed!”
“If it's anypony's fault, it's the Ministry of the Interior's. Just look at how they've handled the Manehatten Chemical Corporation. If you're going to blame anything, blame the Shear-Peel Act for drastically reducing the Ministry's power.”
'Alright, enough of this.'
Twilight coughed loudly.
Both Applejack and Fluttershy's attention was diverted to Twilight.
“Oh! I'm sorry, Twilight." Fluttershy began.
“Sometimes, we can get a bit caught up in the moment.” Applejack finished.
Fluttershy offered to hug.
“Still friends?”
Applejack took her up on the offer.
“Why do you even need to ask a silly thing?”
Twilight clapped her forehooves together.
“Great! I didn't even need to intervene. Now, can we get back to having a nice, happy talk?”
“That reminds me, Ah'm surprised to see you up this early, Twilight, I never thought you were a mornin' pony.”
“Oh, I'm not usually. Let's just say certain circumstances led me to get up this early.”
“That's unfortunate. The mornin' is the best time of the day.” Applejack turned her attention to Dash, “And what're you doin' here? I would have thought you'd be practicin' or somethin'.”
“I was. Until I crashed into the library again.” she said, mumbling out the last bit.
Applejack snorted. Dash scowled.
“Practice makes perfect, but if yer here, then who's in charge of the weather?”
Dash shot into the air.
“Ohmygosh! With Twilight getting hur—” Twilight went through several complicated gestures involving her hooves, tail, horn, and a nearby orange, “—ried by those circumstances of hers, I nearly forgot that we're getting ready for the first big storm of the year. I gotta go! By AJ, Twi, Flutter, Spike!”
Dash sped out the back door and off into the sky.
Spike looked at the back door.
“That was rather abrupt, don't you think?”
“Oh, Spike. You know how she is.”
“Yeah, 'how she is' and you wonder why she keeps crashing into the library.”
“Must you constantly be so negative?”
“Says the pony who thinks she's gonna destroy Equestria because of her w—”
Twilight clamped Spike's mouth shut with her telekinesis.
“What was that, Spike?”
“O-Oh, h-he was j-just babbling on, Applejack. Y-You know how he c-can get.”
Applejack looked confused.
“Um, no, Ah'm afraid I don't.”
“W-Well, you know. He just starts talking without thinking about what he's saying.” she put particular emphasis on the last part. “Isn't that right, Spike?” she halted her telekinesis.
Spike rubbed his mouth.
“Yeah. Sure.”
Applejack stared suspiciously at Twilight.
“Um, uh, say, do you mind if I tag along with you and Fluttershy?” the purple unicorn asked, desperate to change the topic.
“Why?”
“I—uh—just want to help out. It's been a little while since I've seen my friends, so I thought now would be as good a time as any. Plus I could use a little exercise.” Twilight poked her belly, “Being cooped up in that tree all the time can't be good for me. If you don't want to then that's fine.”
“Oh no. We'll take all the free labor we can get our hooves on.”
“What about me?!”
Twilight looked back at Spike.
'You've caused enough trouble already.'
“Someone has to mind the library, Spike.”
“For a librarian, you sure don't spend a lot of time in the library.”
“Don't be like that, Spike. Besides, it's not like you have to deal with anypony. Just relax.”
Spike's jaw dropped.
“You're telling me to relax?! Of all the—fine. Have fun with your friends while I wallow in loneliness.”
'Don't worry, Spike. We'll both have plenty of time to be lon—no! None of that mopeyness. What do you want to do, turn into Open Cluster?'
“Come on, Spike. If you quit with the pity party I might even tell Rarity the next time I see her how good at being responsible you've been.”
Spike's mood noticeably improved with the mentioning of Rarity.
“You'd do that for me?! Oh thank you, Twilight.” He hugged her, “You're the best pseudo-mother/sister a baby dragon could ask for.”
Twilight returned the hug.
“Alright, Spike. Now go be responsible and look after the library.”
Spike saluted before he rushed out.
Twilight looked at Fluttershy and Applejack.
“Why don't we get going now?”
“I-If that's okay with you.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
**********
Twilight, Applejack, and Fluttershy made their way to Sweet Apple Acres.
“How do you plan on dealing with the gophers, Fluttershy?”
“Oh, well, I'll just talk to them nicely and see if we can't find a solution that works for everyone.”
“And if that doesn't work?”
“That's when Ah'll get out the shovel and start—”
Fluttershy looked at Applejack in horror.
“No! I won't let you hurt them!”
“Relax, Fluttershy. I was gonna say 'start to cover up their holes'. Maybe if I cover up all their holes, it'll get them to leave.”
The three arrived at the orchard. Numerous gopher mounds could be seen poking just out of the ground. Every once in a while, a gopher would pop it's head out of one of the holes and peak around before ducking back underground.
“I'll go talk to them. Why don't you two stay here? Don't want to startle them.”
“Considering my luck during Winter Wrap Up, I think it's best if I stayed as far away from animals as possible.”
“And Ah'm already on bad terms with them.”
Fluttershy walked up to a nearby mound and began to talk to the gopher that was peeking out of it. Soon, several more gophers joined the conversation that they were having.
“What do you think they're talkin' about?”
“I don't know. Hopefully a way to resolve this.”
After several more minutes of conversing, Fluttershy returned to the two, a smile on her face.
“It's like I thought. They're wearing themselves out trying to dig with all these roots in the way, poor things.”
“If that's the case, than why are they diggin' up mah orchard?”
“Their old home got flooded during Winter Wrap Up.” Fluttershy extended her wings, “Every year I tell Rainbow not to thaw things too quickly or these kinds of things will happen.”
“Don't worry, Fluttershy. I'll be sure to plan things out next Wrap Up so this doesn't happen again.”
'If you haven't been forced to live in Canterl—you know, this is starting to get old.'
“I already know where they can stay. I'll help them start to move right away.”
Applejack smiled.
“Thanks a bunch, Fluttershy. I don't know what I would have done if you weren't there to help.”
“Oh, it's no big deal.”
“If you need any help, me and Twi will be around the farm.”
“Okay.”
Fluttershy made her way back over to the gophers to help them move. Applejack looked at Twilight.
“Why don't we go to another part of the orchard that isn't covered with holes?”
“Alright. Lead the way.”
**********
“So you want to get some exercise?”
“That's the basic idea. While books are great mental exercise, they lack the physical requirements needed. I suppose I could just get some weights or something but I wouldn't be able to spend time with my friends and I've been somewhat neglectful of that lately.”
'Gee, I wonder why.'
“Well that's mighty kind of you, Twilight, and I can think of no better kind of exercise then applebuckin'.”
The two approached a few apple trees.
“Why don't I show you with this one over here,” Applejack gestured toward a tree, “and you can try it out on that one.” she pointed at another tree.
“Okay.”
“Now, all you got to do is get up on yer front legs,” Applejack did so to demonstrate, “and give the tree a solid kick.”
She proceeded to do so, rattling the tree and causing a few bushels of apples to fall from it into the baskets below.
Twilight stared at her tree.
'Here goes nothing.'
She reared on her forelegs and lightly kicked the tree. It didn't even shake.
“Sugarcube, yer gonna have to kick it harder than that.”
Twilight snorted, before she reared again and gave a more powerful kick. The tree shook lightly but the apples held fast.
Applejack giggled.
“Don't worry too much about it. Applebuckin' takes years of practice and strong back legs. It was a really good first attempt, though.”
A small breeze blew and caused the tree to move its branches, as if mocking Twilight's less than stellar applebucking ability.
'Stupid tree.'
Twilight reared again and bucked the tree as hard as she could. The trunk exploded into a thousand pieces and the tree's crown somersaulted briefly before hitting the ground. Apples, wood, and leaves flew everywhere.
Applejack's jaw, quite literally, hit the ground.
'Oh great, now the endurance and neigh invulnerability kicks in. Where were you when I crashed into the ground at terminal velocity?'
Twilight, amidst the tree carnage, grinned sheepishly.
“Uh-oh. Um...oops.”
-----
The two of them walked to the Sweet Apple Acres' barn.
Twilight gave a fake smile.
“I swear, Applejack.”
She continued to stare at Twilight with narrowed eyes.
“I-I mean, what else could it have been? W-Why would I lie to you about this?”
“It's just so unbelievable. I mean, 'Magical Feedback', really? That sounds fishier than Apple Bloom and her friends salmon huntin'.”
'Curse that Element of Honesty! Seeing through my shoddy lies.'
“I-It's the truth.” Twilight strained her fake smile.
“I don't know much about magic, but Ah've never heard of such a thing.”
“O-Oh, well, it's very rare. That's why I was s-so shocked by it.”
'And not because I nearly blew my cover—not by something to do with the wing-be-gone spell, no, by kicking a tree!'
The two walked into the barn and made their way over to the pile of hay that lay in its far end.
“Really? Well how's it work?”
Twilight's eyes widened.
“H-How's it work?”
“Yeah, how does this 'Magical Feedback' work?”
“Well, ah...”
'Quick, think of something sciency and confusing to say!'
“It's caused by an—uh—ionization in the Minovsky particles that are emitted by the horn. The newly ionized particles—um—cling to the horn's surface, clogging it and causing a feedback of the particles into the Central Nervous System. The particles are then discharged from the CNS and out of the body.”
'If I grin any harder my face is going to tear in half.'
Twilight sighed in relief as Applejack's face went from suspicious to confused.
“Okay, Twilight. Didn't understand half of whatcha said but it sounds passable.”
The purple unicorn turned her attention to the pile of hay.
“So, what are we here for? Are we going to shovel the hay or something?”
“Nope. Granny was knittin' in here the other day and dropped her needle. I got to find it.”
“You're kidding.”
“Ah'm afraid not.”
“Why doesn't she just get another needle?”
“It's a family heirloom, passed down from Apple to Apple.”
Twilight couldn't believe it.
“You're family passes down a needle as an heirloom?”
Applejack huffed.
“Traditions are important, Twilight. It's what helps keep the Apple family special.”
'Yeah, 'special' alright.'
“Why, that needle helped to stitch together the rags that our family wore durin' the Great Fire Blight Scourge of—”
“No, no, no! I get it. What's it made out of? Maybe we can use a magnet to find it.”
“Copper.”
Twilight sighed.
“There goes that idea. Let's get looking.”
Applejack nodded and the two began the arduous search.
-----
“Are you sure this is gonna work?”
“Of course I am. All I have to do is cast a weak levitation spell. The lighter hay should easily rise, while the much heavier needle will stay on the ground.”
“I don't know, Twilight. What if that 'Magical Feedback' rears its ugly head again?”
“That was a onetime thing! Would you rather painstakingly sift through this entire hay bale?”
“Well, no, but—”
“Okay, then I have to concentrate. While I cast the spell, you look for the needle.”
Twilight's horn lit up as she cast the spell. A purple beam shot out of her horn and engulfed the hay bale. The hay slowly floated into the air. Applejack stared intently at ground and the floating hay. Her eyes focused in on a glinting object on the ground.
“Aha! There you are.”
Applejack walked up to the needle and picked it up off the ground before returning to Twilight.
“Alright, Twilight. I got the needle.”
Twilight cut the spell off and the hay fell to the ground, kicking up a small amount of dust.
The purple unicorn looked disoriented for a moment before she cleared her head. The two began to leave the barn.
“You okay, Twilight?”
“Huh? Oh! Yeah, I feel great.”
“You sure? If you're gettin' tired, we can take a break.”
“Oh no, I'm not tired at all—quite the contrary, I've never felt better.”
'Even though I shouldn't, considering I spent an insane amount of magic healing myself and keeping this wing-be-gone spell working.'
“All right, then. I suppose we could harvest some more apples before lunch. Just try not to turn any more of mah trees into woodchips.”
Applejack nudged Twilight playfully. She responded by blushing.
**********
While the sun slowly made its way over the horizon, Twilight and Applejack wearily made their way to the Apple family home.
“I still can't believe Fluttershy was able to move all them gophers in one day.”
“It is what she's good at after all.”
“Ah'm just glad she didn't need that much help. I was startin' to get awfully hungry near the end there. Good thing supper's almost done.”
“You don't have to feed me, Applejack. Spike is more than qualified.”
“Now I don't want to hear any of that. You've worked hard and we feed hard workers.”
“All I did was use telekinesis to help. It wasn't that exhausting.”
“Really? You simultaneously harvest a few hundred bushels and that don't cause even a little tiredness? I tell ya, sometimes, I wish I were a unicorn.”
“Don't sell yourself short. You saw how I struggled with the cart.”
“Except that cart had three times as much weight as it normally would have. I would have struggled with it.”
Twilight blushed.
“You would have done a lot better than I did. Unicorns may have magic, but earth ponies will always beat us in physical strength. Not to mention we couldn't garden if our lives depended on it.”
“Oh really?”
“Yeah. I once had a cactus. It was a—” Twilight scrunched her face up in thought, “an Echinocactus grusonii, otherwise called a Golden Barrel Cactus. It had the longest needles of any cacti in Canterlot—of course, it was the only cacti in Canterlot, but that's beside the point. I was so proud of it.”
“Well, what happened?”
Twilight gave a melancholic sigh, before she giggled, “It died because I didn't water it enough.”
Applejack snorted.
“I guess us earth ponies will always have you beat there.”
“I guess you will.”
The two made their way into the house.
“You know, I haven't seen any of your family today. Where have they been?”
“Apple Bloom's havin' a sleepover with her friends. As for Big Mac...” Applejack gestured toward the kitchen, where the stallion could be seen at the table. Stacks of papers and a printing calculator were strewn across it, “The one benefit of the changelings was they delayed tax season by a month.”
“Ya call tax season a 'benefit'?” grumbled Big Mac.
“No, but would you have rather done it a month ago?”
“I could give you some help if you need it; I've always been good with numbers.” Twilight offered.
“It's not the math that's the problem. It's these confounded write offs and deductions.” Big Mac said.
Applejack and Twilight made their way into the kitchen. Twilight was surprised to see Granny Smith manning the stove, stirring a pot of stew with a wooden spoon.
“You think this'res bad? Why, when Ah had to do those darned taxes, we didn't have those modern confangled addin' machines.” Both Big Mac and Applejack rolled their eyes, “We had to use our noggins and it worked jus' as good as any machine.”
“Didn't you get audited a couple times, Granny?” Applejack asked.
“That's got nothin' to do with this and you know it.”
“I'm very grateful that you're letting me stay for dinner.” Twilight sniffed several times, “If you don't mind me asking, what are we having to eat?”
“It's no trouble at all.” Granny Smith waved the spoon wildly around, sending drops of stew in every direction, “We're havin' vegetable stew and a nice fruit salad.”
“When will it be ready?”
Granny Smith scooped out a small bit of stew with the spoon, blew on it to cool it off, and tasted it. She smacked her lips several times.
“Why, it should be done right now.”
Big Mac cleared of the papers from the table and Applejack retrieved the dinnerware.
“Guests go first.”
“Oh, I couldn't.”
“Nonsense, Ah insist.”
Accepting her fate, Twilight levitated a bowl and dished out her stew before sitting down. The Apple Family joined her around the table and they began to enjoy their meal.
“So, Applejack, what have you and Miss Sparkle done around the farm while I was doing the taxes?”
“With Fluttershy's help, we were able to solve that gopher problem. Then we just did daily chores: applebuckin', a little yard work.” Applejack's face lit up, “Oh, that reminds me, we found yer needle, Granny. We put it in the sewing box with yer other things.”
Granny Smith smiled.
“Thank you. I was more upset than a timberwolf who has termites when Ah lost it. Did I ever tell you about the time that it got stuck in ol' Uncle Bismarck's hoof?”
Twilight, Applejack, and Big Mac all winced at the mental image.
'Uh-oh. I don't like where this is going.'
-----
“And that's how we stopped the Great Fire Blight Scourge of 934.”
Granny Smith finished telling her riveting tale of pain, sorrow, heartache, and triumph to the rapt Twilight, Big Mac, and Applejack.
'Who would have thought a simple outbreak of Erwinia amylovora could be so interesting.'
Twilight glanced up at the overhanging clock.
“Oh goodness! It's eight thirty!”
Granny Smith's eyes widened.
“Eight thirty! All this gobsmackin' has made me late fer bed! It was mighty nice talkin' to ya, Miss Sparkle, but Ah got to get some shuteye.”
“It was nice talking to you too.”
Granny Smith slowly got up and creaked her way out of the room.
“I think Granny Smith has the right idea. I have to get back to Spike. Thanks for letting me help you today, Applejack.”
“Anytime, Twilight. You should do it more often.”
Twilight smiled.
“I'll definitely consider it. Anyway, Bye, Applejack.”
“Bye, Twilight.”
Twilight started to make her way out of the house.
“Now, sister. Ah feel it's only fair since Ah'm the one doin' the taxes that you clean up dinner.”
“What?! Why should I be the one that has to? Ah've been doing all the farmin'. You've been sittin' in that comfy chair all day.”
Twilight continued to smile at the sibling dispute as she closed the front door behind her and made her way home.
***********
Twilight walked in the front door of the library. Spike sat in the main room, on an arm chair, in a robe, wearing a fez, and reading Arcane Magic Quarterly.
“You would not believe the day I've had, Spike.”
“Lemme guess, Applejack discovered you're an alicorn.”
“What? No.”
Spike looked surprised.
“Really?”
“Why would you think that?”
“Well, every other friend you've seen since your transformation has found out, so I thought you had a streak going.”
Twilight snorted.
"I'm tired. So it's time for bed.”
“What! But it's not even nine yet. You can let me stay up.”
“I'm sorry, Spike, but the last time I did that you didn't go to bed until two in the morning. Now come on, let's get cleaned up and go to sleep.”
“I take back what I said earlier, you're the worst pseudo-mom/sis I could have.”
Twilight rolled her eyes as she dragged the stubborn dragon upstairs.
-----
Spike grumpily settled into his basket to go to sleep.
Twilight slipped the covers over herself, sighed contently, and drifted off to sleep. A new day awaited her on the other side of her slumber.
End of Chapter Seven.
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Authors Notes: God, this chapter was a nightmare. First the transition from sad back to happy, then the Apple Family's accents, then pacing problems. All that was compounded by me having no idea what was going to happen in the chapter. The result was this taking a week and me being completely unhappy with it. (I can't wait for Space Battles to tear it apart.)
Surprisingly, the election had little effect. It helped that I'm extremely apathetic toward it (let's be real, neither Obama nor Romney are gonna fix the country, our problems will just be passed on to the next administration and so on and so on until the whole thing implodes far worse than Twilight's alicorn problems will). On the bright side, Puerto Rico wants to become the 51st state.
Be sure to check out not only the pacing problems that I tried to deal with, but also me trying to get the Apple Family's accents down.
Season Three is now upon us. Just how badly will the Crystal Empire affect Ascend? I'll find out later today.
Puerto Rico, 51st state? If only we didn't have to have an odd number again.
NEEDS MOAR...EVERYTHING!
That said, I'm debating with myself whether I should just retcon the few pieces of relevant information in my fics that inevitably will get screwed over by season 3, or just wing it and go by S2 rules. I'm lazy, so you can probably guess where things head there...
I'll put 3 bits on 'Applejack figured it out, but kept her mouth shut because it's none a' her business'.
Good Chapter.
Also Chapter Planning Seems To Be A Pretty Big Thing When Writing, I'd Suggest You'd Get On That Whole Planning Thing.
This is really good! I'm a sucker for Twilight is an alicorn stories and this one is amazing. Oh, and is S3 out already? I live on the other side of world from America.
Well, the chapter's not all bad, but I'm probably just saying that to make you feel less bad… yeah… this was kinda filler in my eyes because not much happened here of importance. Twilight inhaled food, helped out Apple family, no one new learned she was an alicorn… hope the next one has more…umm…important things in it.
.....That happened to my cactus.
Wuss.
While attempting chronocide in the early hours of the morn, I stumble upon one of my favorite fics popping up with an update! Huzzah!
As always it was a pleasure to read, and I enjoyed the shift to happy, and Twilight's thought processes getting fed up with their own negativity.
And, as always, I eagerly await the next chapter.
Twilight:Oh no how do i explain exploding AJ's tree to her
AJ:... Um twi did you just reduce my tree to wood chip...
Twilight:Um... maybe... Quick twilight explain it with science that you made up on the spot!
AJ:... And you did you manage do do this... *suspicious glance*
Twilight: Err... Spontaneous magic...?
AJ: Oh that explains everything!
Twilight: Yeah... lets go with magic...
Spike and Twilight makes me think of the pedestrians in GTA 3 that would yell out 'My mothers my sister!'. With Spike it actually kind of makes sense...dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Twilight_crazy.png
How to kill a cactus: you don't water them
Great chapter!
Just one nitpick - It should be 'Fluttershy's mice'.
Really good work!
Take the powers of the moustache!
1592049
"Simulated piece of meat?" Why would the ponies need or want to?
Dat line.
yay, Nice and long chapter
edit: Right i found 2 small spelling mistakes.
Twilight continued to smiled- smiled should be smile, and “Thank you. I was more upset than a timberwolve. Should probably be timberwolf. Other than that i loved the chapter.
1592113
It airs today i believe
every time you post a chapter I squee. It gets somewhat distracting if there are other people in the room.
1592230
My cactus committed suicide by falling off my dresser...
Multiple times...
This is pretty good
I also enjoyed how Twilight is becoming stronger- the alicorn powers are kicking in
she's becoming almost unstoppable, clearly
i mean kicking a tree and it explodes- holy crap
And everything went better than expected.
...for now
Many thanks for continuing the trend of Grany Smith = Awesome!
I'm not sure about this, but I think the verb has an e at the end ("breathe")
The plural of "mouse" is "mice" (but the plural of "house" is not "hice")
I think you mean "doesn't"
That is most decidedly not how to use a semicolon
1592106 Who do you think you are, Kanaya?
1592113 25 minutes to go on the east coast
Hm. This chapter has some problems. In no particular order:
Lard is pig fat. They wouldn't cook strudel with it.
Who is this Open Cluster that Twilight worries about turning into?
She shouldn't think of the dream as foreshadowing. That's extremely meta, and it's not really necessary. She could just as easily have been hoping the dream wasn't prophetic. It would have more dramatic punch that way.
This chapter is a little short on description. Too many of the words just 'float'. It's easy to lose track of the setting where events are going on.
Me: And thus the calm 'fore the storm has begun, how long will Twilight keep her neurosis at bay?
Long enough for me to kick you in the flank for trying to jinks me!
Twilight:
Do you have a pre-reader?
1592049 Apparently there might be canon Alicorn Twilight at some point in Season 3, I've seen pictures of what looked like official posters with an Alicorn Twilight and Alicorn Twilight plushies. Might be at some point during the Crystal Empires episodes.
1592692
ON RIGHT NOW ON THE HUB.
1592543
I think with Fluttershy's mouses author was going for a Dr. Seuss reference, where he uses mouses as the plural of mouse in How the Grinch Stole Christmas.
I know these things because every year I watch the DVD version of the cartoon version. Fuck you Jim Carrey.
1592096 Give Canada Alaska... face it, it should have been ours to begin with
1592049 Your profile picture is just f**king creepy.
Breathe has an E at the end, you know.
I like it. It feels like filler, but sometimes that's exactly what you need as a buffer between major events.
S3 is so awesome!!!
Twilight, how can you kill a cactus?
YOU ONLY NEED TO WATER IT EVERY WEEK.
....And this is why Twilight doesn't have a cutie mark in cacti.
Seriously, good work.
1592049 Short term, nothing can be done about the debt the US has. They need to get some long term plan set in motion that will hopefully keep the trillonish dollar debt the US has from getting any bigger.
1592049
"On the bright side, Puerto Rico wants to become the 51st state."
There's actually sufficient cause to question the validity of that vote. Word is that because of this, and that the majority actually isn't clear enough one way or another, nothing is going to come of it for now.
Anyway, nice chapter, and I thought it all worked out quite well.
I believe you mean who, not why.
The chapter was good and fun, as per usual. The only issue that I had was with the Apple families accent. Probably the biggest thing that you can do to make sure that the accent appears in your writing is when they say that word I. As difficult as it is to write things out in accents, especially if we don't have said accent, is to make sure that the emphasis is placed in proper places. One of the bes examples of the way to show this emphasis of the southern accent is with replacing the word I, and all the contractions that involve I, is to spell it out as Ah. I noticed that you did use this sometimes. The key word in the sentence is sometimes. If somepony has a consistent southern accent, then make sure to keep it up through the piece. It gets used sporadically throughout the piece, with changing between the accent form, Ah, and the proper form, I, even just a sentence apart.
Anyway, it is something to keep your eyes on for when you do the accent. There are other, smaller nuances of the accent that can be taken into account, but over all that is the easiest example. I also apologize for leaving a wall of text.
if you have any other questions, feel free to ask me.
i love the universal century reference i guess that means that shining armor and cadence's overpowered shield spell was just another axis shock
1443617 Did you see the premiere? Five bucks says she becomes an alicorn lol. I would suggest not worrying about it too much and writing as you normally would. Most readers keep fanfic and cannon separate in their minds anyhow.
Edit: Also, did you see theres going to be a filly episode!!!! So awesome!
“Says the pony why thinks she's gonna destroy Equestria because of her w—”
who
“You'd do that for me! Oh thank you, Twilight.”
requires a question mark
“You don't have to feed me, Applejack. Spike is more then qualified.”
He's more and then qualified.
Yeah.
“You think this'res bad? [...]”
I don't know what 'res's supposed to mean.
“If you don;t mind me asking, what are we having to eat?”
don't
"Granny Smith finished telling her riveting tale of pain, sorrow, heartache, and triumph to the rapt Twilight, Big Mac, and Applejack."
Doube space between "rapt" and "Twilight".
"Twilight continued to smiled at the sibling dispute as she closed the front door behind her and made her way home."
continued to smile
1592347
It wasn't suicide - it was an ill-fated assassination attempt. Don't let your guard down around cacti.
As a Texan, I love it when an author can write a southern accent well. 'specially one as thick as the apples. Its near impossible for me surprisin'ly. But maybe that's just cause im so used ta hearin it
1593332
I'll tell his parents the good/bad news
Absolutely riveting story, and yet what I remember most is that icon of yours.
Minovsky particles? I thought Twilight had turned into an alicorn, not a giant robot!
In any case, she's bound to run into Pinkie sooner or later, and then the shenanigans will really begin.
Also, Spike in a bathrobe and a fez is a fantastic mental image.
1592049
Dude, despite any issues you had, you managed to pull it off. Compliments: given!
Have a moustache: