I know this idea isn't the most original on this site, but hopefully you'll think its a decent read.

Let me know what you think in the comments below, both positive and negative.

D'awwwww, this was adorable.

Nice little read. Keep up the good work!

Wow, this was really good. It wasn't too short, and it ended nicely. As usual, your writing is awesome.

Nice, short, and sweet. I like this.

'nuff said.

this was good but wait??? WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE WONDERBOLTS! why is it a ONESHOT PLEASE DONT  leave it at THAT, there is so much that NEEDS to happen/be resolved. i want to see that dork get what is deserved. that laughing had to be them(wonderbolts) laughing at the dweeb for thinking they gave a flying feather about that. TOO MANY UNANSWERED QUESTIONS!

I'm sorry, but I'm going to bring this back down to earth a little.

The Bad: After reading it I've come away with the feeling that Dash's 'coming out' was too contrite. It just didn't have any feeling behind it. Also,  in a world full of love and tolerance and acceptance I highly doubt RD wouldn't get into the wonder bolts because of a supposed gener orientation. The premise to me just seems...silly.

The good: Your writing style is very good, each paragraph connects together nicely, the dialogue is fitting for each character, and the internal monologues work well.

So I'll leave it with no thumbs either direction, good writing, good execution, but sorry I didn't believe the premise.

This was really nice, and the perfect length too.  

>>14502031450203

Rainbow Dash gets accepted into the Wonderbolts, becomes captain, and proposes to Applejack seven months later.  They have two magically conceived fillies, and live happily ever after.  Happy now?  

I enjoyed this story. It was adorable like AppleDash usually is which is fantastic.

Oh, one thing though:  

the couch, comfortable-looking and made of leather

... Something tells me they don't have anything made of leather in Equestria.

Well written, but a bit, well, generic. The topics have been covered before, both the 'coming out', reactions thereof. It's a new spin to put it during a wonderbolt tryout, mind you. Overall quite cute, but a bit generic and the reveal of Rainbow's issue, plus the confession, felt somewhat rushed. Could use extending :)

>>14504561450456

Yeah good point. Fixed it, thanks for the heads up

Really cute Story! fav and like

>>14500031450003

Thanks

like fave watch mustache DAWWWWWWWW

Image: http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbqscz5YMk1rol1w1.gif

>>14507071450707

Thanks

Also I like the image of Robert Downey Jr.

Excellent job. You did very well on this. Gave me feels bro. Gave me feels.

Image: http://www.google.com/imgres?q=feels+meme&num=10&hl=en&biw=1366&bih=664&tbm=isch&tbnid=_LeGKAjf02qgKM:&imgrefurl=http://www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/3923541/Feels/2&docid=teTDiqwPxlMdMM&imgurl=http://static1.fjcdn.com/comments/Dude%252BI%252Blove%252Bthe%252BFeel%252Bmeme%252BI%252Bdid%252Bthis%252Bfor%252B_95ff49b998945d7b184d9761f940c1f7.jpg&w=200&h=254&ei=RJV9ULeLI-u00QH0o4GICw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=1080&vpy=152&dur=2371&hovh=203&hovw=160&tx=111&ty=136&sig=117454970444611069994&page=1&tbnh=149&tbnw=118&start=0&ndsp=19&ved=1t:429,r:5,s:0,i:86

>>14507291450729

Thanks, happy to hear you enjoyed it

Cute, but as already stated it was a bit generic and rushed at the end. I also would have liked to have seen them go to the Wonderbolts the next day.

You know, now I want to see how the try-outs go.

Other than that, I liked this. Very cute.

aww that was sooo cute

WHOOOO!!! APPLEDASH!!! I'll definitely be checking this out!

Featured, nice, welcome.

Just a side note, this fic has nothing to do with "My Little Dashie" and I added it to the "Ponies on Earth" folder by accident. Just wanted to clarify to everyone.

Sorry for the confusion and if you know how I can remove it from the group, let me know

Omg, so cute! I really enjoyed it. I hope RD makes it when AJ goes with her. I think AJ is just the kind of confidence boost that she needs.

im not a appledash fan at all, but i figured with the context and description, the most it would have would be a tearful compassionate hug or a small kiss, something i could stomach through, but the comments just killed it. I don't often knock a story before i try it, even though it looks interesting, but i did for this one, because the lovemush comments killed it for me

now, if you took out the ship or changed it to a ship that wasn't appledash, i would read it. too bad, it looked really interesting

>>14503201450320

WOW  what an awesome forum to sell cheap designer knock offs!  Your bot is sure to make loads of bits!    

>>14513601451360

Good Story!   AppleDash is always a winning combo (though not quite as awesome as TwilightApples ). Good moral value....Never let anypony drive you from your dreams because of  your ethnicity, sexual preference, or any other aspect that makes you unique!    

hey, this got featured. Congrats!

Good story, but one thing that got my attention:

"Minus the lack of goggles...."

I do believe that is a double negative good author, you may wish to fix that.

Or if it's not, you might wish to clarify what you're saying a little more. Maybe

"Except for the lack of goggles...."

Aw... That was adorable. Pony romance is best fictional romance

Also, because I think Spitfire is one of the sanest ponies in Equestria, I'm certain she'd see RD for her skill and let her in. But that's just me.

>>14517381451738

Haha thanks. It was a lot of luck, though. (being at the top of the front page for hours helped immensely)

HOLY CWERCJEB THIS WAS A GREAT FIC!

*complete* !!! THIS MUST CONTINUE!

>>14520721452072

well, they never said they wouldn't let RD in because of that. She just THINKS they won't let her in.

>>14520721452072

That would make sense. Plus I think Soarin' would overlook RD's sexuality since she saved his pie.

Faved and liked. Nothing else to say except you have my yes.

>>14522281452228

Awesome, glad you enjoyed it

P.S. I love your avatar. I was thinking about writing a short story based on it when I saw it on DA, but I'm not sure yet. Plus I have to get permission from the artist.

nice story  

>>14502031450203>>14521511452151

It's good the way it is. A good one-shot lets the audience figure out how they think it ended. That's the beauty of it, and this ending is pretty good.

>>14522481452248

Pretty sure JJ doesn't mind you using his art as a reference for story ideas; in fact, he encourages you to! Anyway, I suppose you can ask if ya feel the need to.

Another generic shipfic for the masses to "enjoy"

...

The bar is set so low...

Sappy but I'll roll with it.  

>>14521741452174 PLEASE TELL ME YOU ARE DOING A SEQUEL!

>>14522581452258 No. That would be making a fan-made sequel of a fan fic.That would be fic-ception and the fabric of time and space would cease to exist.For the sake of the universe,I will not do that.

>>14526011452601

I never said anything about anyone else making a sequel. I was just saying he should end it where it is.

MORE

Why did this have to be complete

*picks up metal baseball bat* Who's the bitch who made fun of Rainbow?

It was pretty good, but I just couldn't get over some of the things in this story. My first problem is that the premise doesn't really make sense. You're telling me that in a place like Equestria, where things like friendship and love are actually powers, that there could be so much homophobia? That's just way too hard to believe. What's worse is the idea that during such an important event like trying out for the Wonderbolts, they wouldn't do anything to punish someone who would do something that horrible. And then everyone starts laughing and jeering? Where was security? Where were the Wonderbolts kicking her out for being so disgraceful? Where were the ponies watching booing her out for being so insulting to a pony who is basically a national hero? You say Rainbow Dash left before actually trying out due to embarrassment, but there still should have been enough time before she left for her to notice security or the Wonderbolts or anyone else going in to kick her out or disqualify her, since why would they want such a disrespectful person to be part of their group? It makes no sense, and all it does is serve to break my SoD.

The last issue I have is that there's no closure to this. It just kind of ends right then. Yes, I understand that the only purpose of the tryouts is to serve as a plot device to get RD and AJ together, but the problem is that you did nothing to hide this. Nothing in this story makes the tryouts seem important, and nothing at the end tries to change this. You could take out the entire thing and still have the same ending, which just doesn't seem right. What happens? When they go back, do they let her try again? Yeah, you'd think so, but it's hard to think that when it was made perfectly clear that they didn't seem to care about one of the ponies trying out used such insulting methods to remove competition, nor did they seem interested in kicking said pony out of the competition.

I'm sorry about the rant, but I only did this because I like the idea behind the story, but I was just bothered by the implications and what they meant for the possible ending of this story.

This story has a lot of good things going for it, but just a few points rubbed me the wrong way.

1. You can't just SAY that Applejack is in love with Rainbow Dash and have it accepted at face value.  You need to go in-depth as soon as you say that about how that happened, when, and why.  The addition of 2-3 paragraphs near the beginning of the story where you first say Applejack loves Rainbow Dash should fix that up nicely.

2. The kiss comes on extremely suddenly, and at the worst possible time to kiss anyone.  Locking lips with someone the instant they come out of the closet WILL NOT go over well, no matter who it is.  Space those two events apart a little with some dialogue.  Try, for example, having AJ reassure Rainbow that there's nothing wrong with being gay, and that she's not disgusted at all.  Perhaps then, Applejack can confess in turn that she's been having some questions about herself as well.  Keep the dialogue flowing smoothly until a kiss feels natural.

I think your story is really sweet, and I hate to see these two problems holding it back from what it could be: a real gem of a shipping one-shot.

>>14533941453394

Thanks for the feedback man, I really appreciate the constructive criticism.

I'll try to work on my writing so I can avoid those issues in future stories.

>>14523201452320

and you are again, complaining about it

learn to read tags man. If you see the romance tag, it will involve shipping. Don't read it if you don't like shipping.