Bait and Switch
The Return of Princess Nightmare Moon
Part 18: Bait and Switch
Bandaid walked quickly and quietly through the palace, cocking his head and looking around rather nervously. Normally he was not so frightened of its massive, sweeping halls and galleries. But, the enemy was among them and he knew it. Princess Nightmare Moon was hiding at his little apartment, but he still needed to report for work, check his medical bag in, have it restocked, and then check it out again. It made sure no medical staff made off with things they shouldn’t.
Doctor Heart Starter stopped him while he was in the supply room, “Nurse Bandaid, how is the Princess?” he said, clipboard levitating next to him as he made friendly conversation.
“Getting stronger every day, Doctor.” Bandaid said carefully.
“I’ve not seen her around the palace lately, has she been holing up in her room?” the stallion leaned against the doorframe. “I know she probably likes her privacy, but she shouldn’t be a shut in either.” He cocked his head with concern, watching his underling restock himself with salve and lotions. “Are her legs still hurting her?” he asked a bit more seriously.
“Yes.” Bandaid said, wilting a bit. “I don’t understand why the rest of her is healing so well, and her legs are not. She’s complained about them since the day she could start talking normally.”
“Very odd, hmm.” Heart Starter said, stroking his chin. “Tell you what, why don’t you give her a more thorough examination and get back to me? If she’s got an infection or something we should treat it right away. Or worse yet, she might have a chip of moonrock under the skin or something. That would be agonizing!” he gestured harshly with a hoof. Bandaid nodded officially, making a little salute of promise. “Well, let me know what you find, there’s got to be a reason.”
“Yes doctor.” Bandaid sealed up his bag, redoing the straps and putting it on his back. “I’ll do it right away.” He turned about and was away from the medical wing of the castle with haste. Why hadn’t he thought of it sooner? Of course there was going to be an outside source for Nightmare’s leg pain. The rest of her body was healing just fine. Hmm. Lost in thought, the brown stallion almost didn’t notice when two solar guards peeled off of their posts and started following. “C-can I help you, gentlecolts?” he asked timidly. Though he was a nurse and a fine stallion as any other, Bandaid was always rather easily intimidated.
“Skree.” said the bass voice of one of the two big-chested stallions. The other nodded silently. Bandaid stared at them both blankly. “Skree-bar-skree.” He said, his gravelly voice tickling Bandaid’s inner ear.
“Oh it’s you two.” Bandaid frowned as the FWOOSH of magic cancelled out the two massive stallions in front of him and replaced them with changling mares. They looked a little winded. It must’ve taken some effort to change genders as well as forms. “What is it?” he asked. One of the two jittered nervously back and forth, like she needed to pee. The chittered at him in the changling tongue. “Little Pippen fell down the well?” he asked, chuckling a bit. “The barn is on fire?” she cocked her head at him, not understanding what he was saying. The twins looked at each other and chattered in a rapid string of insectoid noises and clicks. The nurse waited patiently, studying them. Finally, one swatted the other on the back of the head and gestured to her companion’s saddlebag. She turned, opened it, and produced a little stack of what appeared to be drawings. “Oh, what? Art time?” Bandaid leaned to see.
“Chitter-creak! Skree!” They held the first one up for him to see. It was a crude crayon drawing of Queen Chrysalis (he could tell by the large stature and long legs). Ohh, nice! They had visual aids for communication! It occurred to him to wonder why and how those two soldiers had gotten ahold of paper and crayons, but he soon dismissed it. He stared at the drawing for a time, and they made sure he got a good look.
“Uh huhhh?” he asked, tilting his head. They flipped to a new drawing, and it showed the Queen upside down with her four long legs up in the air. Her face had a big exaggerated frown on it, and her wings were at odd angles. “Oh dear…” he said, frowning. They flipped the page again, this time it was a head-shot of a poorly crayon-drawn changling Queen. Her mouth was open and there was a lot of graphic green crayon-color coming out of her mouth. Projectile vomiting? “Oh jeez.” He said with concern. “I’d better come see. The last thin Equestria needs is a foreign leader dropping dead in our borders.” He pointed to himself, then made a jogging motion, then pointed to the drawing.
They chittered at him, looks of relief flooding over their odd faces. They cantered back and forth like excited puppies, stuffing their drawings away. Then, the two changeling sisters pressed up to him on either side and began to lead him away. They were all smiles and upturned, regal muzzles as they led the medical pony to the entrance of the dungeons. They hissed at a guard as they went by her, but the confused mare made no move to stop them. Those foreign changelings sure were strange. Bandaid nodded at her as they went, showing that he was going with them willingly.
Turning down into the dungeon they went down, down, down the spiraling staircase and to the lower floors of the crypt-like space. It was dark, dusty, and a little spooky. Had they not lit all the torches for light, staying down here? How strange. Steadying himself, the healer broke away from the two of them and called out into the dark. “Queen Chrysalis?” he asked. “Are you there? Your guards came to get me, they said you were sick!” he cantered forward, ears perked and eyes wide. It was dark and gloomy down there, but it was cool and comfortable, probably how the changelings liked it best. He peered around, and saw several long hallways leading deeper into the dark. He was chirped at, and pointed down another hall as the two guards followed closely behind him. Turning as instructed, he found a dungeon cell whose door had been carefully removed and set to one side. “Ah, here we go.” He smiled, straightening his white vest. He cleared his throat, wanting to look his best for the foreign royalty. After all, he kind’a liked Queen Chrysalis. He got Princess Nightmare’s proverbial panties in a wad, and it was kind of cute to see his mistress genuinely freak out about something after having seen her boundless ego and self-interest. If the changeling queen was ill, he had a moral responsibility to provide care. And if he couldn’t help, he could always get more skilled hooves and bring them down there.
“Skree!” one of the twins nipped him on the butt with her fangs, impatient.
“Hey, easy! I’m here aren’t I?” he said, rubbing his butt with a scowl. “Queen Chrysalis?” he called into the hallway. As he came near the doorway, he found there was a weak, pulsing green light in the room. Sticking his head in, his voice fell lower. “Queen Chrysalis?” he found himself whispering for some reason, like he’d wandered into a mare’s bedroom without permission. He immediately saw there were three cocoon-like structures on the ceiling, made out of Celestia-knew-what, glowing with a neon-green inner light. They dangled by strong little stalks and the bottoms of them glistened as though wet. Were they filled with some strange gelatinous ooze? They seemed to shift like they were. “It’s me, Nurse Bandaid. We met a few days ago?” He still couldn’t see her anywhere. Was she curled up in a dark corner, suffering a bad bellyache? Bandaid stepped into the room, and there was a sudden loud CLANG behind him. “Huh?” he whirled about to see the studded iron door had been forced back into its frame, and both soldiers were holding it from the other side. “Hey!” he called, rushing to it and peering out of the little prisoner’s window at them. “What gives?!” he demanded. He was hisssssed at, and he recoiled with a startled whinny.
“Good job, girls, he’ll do nicely.” The alien, double-voice of the Changeling Queen murmured through the room. “Who better than the Princess’ close hoof-servant, after all?” Bandaid was aware of a low humming coming from behind and above him. He whirled around just in time to see the tall creature land before him— looking perfectly healthy, and not projectile vomiting at all.
“Ohhh, look at you!” Bandaid began to sweat, backing up against the door with a fearful smile. “Looks like you vomited out whatever was making you sick, I’m gonna go now and—HWULK!?” he was grabbed up by magic by his neck and hauled forward. “L-let me go!” he shrieked, sweat going down either side of his face.
Queen Chrysalis’ wings hummed idly before they came to a stop in their fully extended position. Slowly bringing them to rest, she reached out and pulled him to her by the front of his vest. “Such a loyal little hoof servant, just the way you speak around her is telling.” Her jowels rose to reveal fangs, fangs very much like Princess Nightmare Moon’s. But no, no they were different, he saw when he was close enough. He realllly didn’t want to be close enough, but he could see that the tips were hollow. Did changelings have poisonous fangs? No, or one of the twins would be ill, for he’d been bitten by one of the two guards.
“P-put me down! I’ll scream! I scream like a mare, it’ll carry to the nearest guard!” he threatened, squirming about as chilling sweat worked its way down his neck in droplets.
Chrysalis eyed him up and down, admiring his features, his underbelly and other traits. “Hm, yes, you’ll do very nicely.” She hauled him with just one foot away from the door and pressed him harshly against the wall. The nurse squealed a bit, panic rising in his eyes as she loomed over him. “You know, it takes a good deal of energy to morph into the opposite gender?” she told him sweetly, stroking his chin. His eyebrows went up as she leaned over him. “I’ll need a bit of your love energy to make it happen. Before he could scream she LUNGED for him and sank her saber-like fangs into his neck!
Bandaid seized up, expecting agony and fountains of blood. But no, all he felt was cold, like he’d stepped into a blizzard. He didn’t feel any trickles of red going down his body, but he knew for a fact he had at least three inches of sharp teeth in either side of his neck. She held him firmly while he whimpered and squirmed pathetically, tears going down either side of his face. His hooves bicycled uselessly as she lifted him off the ground in a great feat of strength. Then, the soft whirring of changeling magic filled the air. “Nuh! Ah… no---!” he whimpered out, such a quiet little voice. “Please!” it was like a cracking little whisper from a colt in puberty.
Chrysalis searched his essence to find the love within. The love for food, the love for friends, the love for Princess and country. She sipped at it lightly, tasting each one until she found the nice-tasting versions. The twinkling of puppy-love for the Princess, the fling of lustful joy that came around every spring in everypony, the warmth for his family and loved ones. Ahhh, he had plenty to give for his patients! There was the good stuff! The changeling queen clamped down on his neck like a vampire, and started to suck the love from the helpless pony. He gave a strangled yelp of pain, but he wasn’t going anywhere. He was a healer, of course his most beautiful and potent love would be for those he helped. She fed adoringly on him. She couldn’t say she’d particularly drained a male nurse before, so it was an interesting experience. She was reminded very much of blueberries and light sugar-frosting. Mmm! She sampled his mind, his memories and habits. It was protocol for a changeling to make copies of all the important things to blend in nicely as whatever they were going to copy. She felt him crying quietly as she had her way. “Ahhhhh!” she said enthusiastically when she’d released his neck. Bandaid hit the floor when she was done feeding, a quivering mass of pale flesh and weakness. The holes in his neck sealed themselves because of her special saliva. She could’ve drained him dry and killed him, sure, but she might want a snack later. Turning and lighting her horn, she turned him rather gently upside down and stuffed him into her own cocoon. There, now he would be safe and out of the way for… well, however long she decided she needed him. “It’s done. Come!” she bade.
The twins came in after moving the door aside. They studied their queen, then saw the victim up in the cocoon. They smiled at chittered at her animatedly.
“Yes, everything’s fine.” The queen nodded. Turning, she fiddled with the saddlebag that Bandaid had dropped. “Ah-hah…” she smiled, wiping her mouth briefly. There was an address tag on the inside of the bag, in case it were ever lost. The stallion had purchased his medical bag from the palace so he could take it back and forth to work, so he’d written his information. “So that’s where you’re hiding.” She chuckled. “Well then.” FWOOSH! Suddenly the creature became a handsome, brown-furred stallion with a bandaid on his rump. “I suppose I should head over and check on the Princess.” The voice was his, but the evil smirk was not. The twins giggled behind their hooves. Everything was going according to plan. “After all, even a smidgen of the love of a goddess could power the hive for years to come. Imagine how much we’ll get once I’m done seducing her. It’ll be just like old times, huh Nightie-poo?” he threw his head back into a rather diabolical laugh. "If Queen Chrysalis can't have you, maybe Nurse Bandaid can!" he chuckled.
While sex was certainly not equal to love, it did produce potent ‘affection energy’ from anypony that happily experienced it. He couldn’t wait to see the vast stores of power that could be obtained from mounting a goddess… as a stallion. Huh. That was going to be weird. He stopped his laughter, leaning and peering down between his legs with a frown. The twins chittered at each other, leaning to have a look at the imposter’s undercarriage as well. All three mares stared at each other rather awkwardly. Hrm...
=-----=-----=-----=-----=
'Nurse Bandaid’ arrived home with a flourish, opening the door after fumbling with the key for a bit. He poked his head in, looking around suspiciously. It was a small, rather messy dwelling. He could hear the shower going, and there were papers strewn everywhere. He stepped inside and quickly shut the door, locking it. Narrowing his eyes, he scanned the place as quickly as he could. Books, small desk, nest of blankets… it smelled of food and soaps and male musk. A rather standard bachelor dwelling for a pony. Sidling around the room like he shouldn’t be touching anything, he ventured into the kitchen and poked his head about the cracked bathroom door. He saw the black figure standing under the spray behind the curtain, and gave a rather lewd grin.
Getting back to the main room, the imposter took stock of anything that might be off good use in the upcoming seduction. Remembering himself, he dug into his saddlebag and pulled out a red wine bottle, two long-stemmed glasses, a rather erotic pair of socks, and a fresh blanket. Spreading it out over the bed, he was pouring the wine when Nightmare emerged from the bathroom. “What’s this?” she looked shocked at the sight of the drinks.
“I thought we should celebrate!” said not-Bandaid, smiling grandly and offering her a glass. She took it, staring at it in surprise. “I know we said you shouldn’t be drinking at all, buuuut I think we can bend the rules just a little. You’ve been getting so much stronger, so much faster than we all thought!” sifting through the borrowed memories, he praised her for her fast recovery time with ghusto, raising his own glass.
“Thou art certain I can partake?” Nightmare cocked her head, looking down into the blood-red liquid. “It shan’t harm my mending?”
“Of course not!” he said with a smile. “I don’t think a glass or two could hurt. You’ve been working so hard on your new night sky lately, I thought you could use a little drink to soothe the stress.” He clinked his glass against hers with a very handsome smile. Nightmare smiled coyly back at him. There was something in the stallion’s eyes she’d not seen before. A certain… confidence. She decided that she liked it— especially if it got her wine when that stuffy doctor at the palace wouldn’t let her have a drop. Grinning a bit, she clinked back at his glass and raised it to her lips. Not-Bandaid sipped, but Nightmare drained the glass with a few loud gulps. Goddess of wine indeed! “Ch… cheers.” said the imposter, a little awestruck at her.
“Ohhh, we’ve missed this!” The Princess chuckled, sidling up onto the bed with a happy sigh. The fake hoof servant leaned and refilled her glass from the bottle, settling on the floor next to her. “Thank you, Bandaid, this really does make me feel better!” she said enthusiastically, sighing as her nose took in the scent of the second glass.
“I won’t tell if you won’t, Princess.” He winked playfully, making her giggle.
“Why Bandaid, thy confidence has grown somehow methinks!” Nightmare smiled at him. “Does this liquid courage taint thy innocence and uprightedness?” The black alicorn said playfully, swirling her wine at him. She hoping to get an embarrassed rise out of him, he was so cute when he got upset and stuttered.
“Maybe just a little.” He said coyly, looking away and sipping his wine a little. Nightmare gaped at him for a moment, then smiled even wider. Why, maybe he was more fun when drunk! She made it her goal right then to see what would happen when wine colored his cheeks. Leaning and getting the bottle with her magic, she topped off his glass and he gave a shy little smile before taking another swallow.
The two of them giggled conspiratorially, naughtily passed the bottle back and forth. They toasted to Nightmare’s good health, to Equestria, to the birds in the trees, anything they could think of. Sometime later both swooned a bit with drink (Nightmare from having gone 1000 years with none, and Bandaid because… well you know…), red in the cheeks and wide in the smile. “I think you should, you should, you should… interrupt me not!” Nightmare giggled loudly, leaning off the bed. “I think you should come up here! With me!” she waved him up to her.
Not-Bandaid smiled diabolically. This was too easy. One bottle of wine and a few friendly words and he was already in her bed? She must’ve really liked this nurse Bandaid fellow! She sifted through a few more memories, to make sure the act was kept up. How would he react… oh. “P-Princess!” he said, backing up and looking to one side with back-turned ears. “I-I-It’s hardly appropriate!” he said. “I could lose my job if we… I mean if I even…” he looked everywhere but at her in a grand show of shy, mare-muddled Bandaid. Nightmare thought it was adorable. The poor thing had said again and again how bad he was with mares. Maybe he just needed a nice jump-starter, she decided in her wine-hazed mind.
“Ohhhh, psssshhh.” Nightmare chuckled, flopping down on her side so he could see her undercarriage nicely. “Come up here, we shan’t bite thee… much.” She patted the bed a few times. Bandaid made a show of sidling forward like a frightened rabbit, until she got a leg around him. Giggling a bit, she leaned and boldly kissed his cheek. “Thou art so loyal and upright, dear Bandaid.” said the wine-addled Princess. “So loyal, so virile…” he hoof stroked his cheek with long bottled-up desire. She’d grown to adore him over time, the stallion that had cared for her, helped her, even had the stones to stand up to her— he was worthy for her bed, she’d decided. Even against doctor’s orders. She’d make him be gentle, as not to ‘strain’ herself. She was pulling him into the bed, smiling widely. He went willingly, flushed in the cheeks and already panting in a needy way.
“O-Oh Princess…” whispered the imposter innocently. “Wh-what if I’m no good?” she’d tugged him atop her, but he only looked away with wilted ears and a soft-eyed expression of virginal self-consciousness.
“I shall teach thee.” Whispered Nightmare softly, stroking his mane with affection. The changeling could taste the cloud of lewd affection in the air. She was primed for harvesting. “Now come, my hoof servant.” She wrapped him up in her long, beautiful legs. “Let us break a few rules together.”
“Oh Princess…” he smiled wickedly as he leaned down into their first ki—!
BANG BANG BANG! The door shook as somepony knocked firmly on it. A pair of soldiers were standing outside. “Princess! Bandaid! We got the stuff!” The twins had arrived at the door, bearing bags from a local string of stores. “Let us in.”
“Oh poo.” Nightmare moaned, sitting up and sending not-Bandaid flipping off the bed with a crash. “If the twins discover us they’ll tattle to my physician. Perhaps even my sister.” She scowled, grabbing the wine bottle off the floor and shoving it under the bed. “Straighten thy mane, we can’t be found in bed together.” she gave her head a toss, fixing the mussed parts of the fur on her chest. She leaned and quickly whispered, “Perhaps the night of the Gala, when everypony has gone to bed exhausted.” She pecked his cheek to make it a promise.
A very angry nurse Bandaid rose and answered the door to let them in. Blast it! He’d been so close! The two stallions spilled into the room bearing junk food, sodas, a brand-new folding table and some folding chairs to go with it. “I wanna be the Paladin!” declared Aegis as soon as they’d set all the bags down.
“But I was gonna be the paladin!” whined Stalwart Hide to his twin as they slammed the door behind themselves.
“There can’t be two paladins in the same Ponies and Castles party!” Aegis insisted.
“Can so!”
“Can not!”
“Can so!”
“Can not!”
“Bandaid, can’t there be two paladins?!” Stalwart demanded.
“Er,” Bandaid furiously flipped through his stolen memories to figure out what the hell the two rambling stallions were talking about. With a proverbial crash into a brick wall, he suddenly found a rather overwhelming knowledge of a tabletop game in his head. He frowned with both interest and mild pity. How much of this stallion’s brain was taken up with the rules and statistics of a pretend adventure game? “There uh…” he actually held his head for a moment to stave off a headache. “There can be two paladins, but it would mis-balance the party. Having more than one of any class is redundant.” He gave the fluid (and true) answer. Whew!
“Hmm…” said the twins in unison, stroking their chins.
“Fine. I’mma be the bard then.” Aegis turned his nose up indignantly. “Bards get all the mares anyway.” He leaned to start sifting through all the bags of chips and cheese doodles they’d bought for the game to come. Ever since Princess Nightmare had discovered Ponies and Castles, there had been a game promised and the twins had been invited. So of course they’d stocked up on snacks! One did not simply play Ponies and Castles without snacks!
Not-Bandaid scowled on the inside. So he would have to wait a few days. Meh. It would be worth it. He could play innocent little hoof servant for a bit. A vast storage of goddess-born love energy to bring home to the hive was more than worth a few days’ worth of work. He would just have to be patient. He could use his own twins to distract these twins during the proper time. Easy.
…now he had a Ponies and Castles game to run, apparently. Hrm.
End of Part 18
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I'm starting to think you do this on purpose. Here I am, about to go to sleep and what do I see? Update.
Oh well. Not like I need sleep.
hehehe, ponies and castles, makes me chuckle every time.
You sir are Evil with a capital "E."
Throwing poor Chrysalis into the role of DM without any warning.
I only have to wonder if pony-PCs are anything like human-PCs.
In that trying to keep the game moving is like trying to herd cats.
Petty, sociopathic, greedy cats.
Wait... cats are already like that aren't they.
This is going to end
poorlybadlyawesomely.And this years top contender for unluckiest stallion to grace the plains of Equestria is Bandaid. He's a royal nurse serving Princess Nightmare Moon and in between being abused by a lunar goddess and paying back his student loans he still finds time to be captured and drained of his love by the Changeling Queen.
Oh....so close.
Bandaid is going to need a bandaid with how many times he's been bitten.
Knew it, changelings never herald anything good. They're the crows of Equestria, an ill-omen every time.
-Sturrn
1754609 You should be my drinking buddy. Then we could stay up all night reading fics that get updated everytime we try knocking out and laughing merrily until we pass out piss poor wasted
1754609
I know that feel bro
You go Chrysalis.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Twilight_crazy.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Queen_Chrysalis.png
Damn it Chrysalis, you were doing fine, why'd you have to go and fuck it up?
Hah, go Ponies and Castles. Second only to WOW for preventing people from getting any.
It's a trap!
It's a spy!
No it's....... A CHANGELING!
Damn that Chrysalis! I knew a good Chrysalis was too good to be true. Kill her! Roll a 20 and kill her!
I went, I think i will play some skyrim, then right when it loads my save, bam i get a notification of this updating. this is the what 5th time you have done that with this story? but as always it was worth it, good job.
That bit with crayon drawings reminded me of Bleach.
Jeez, guess Bandaid's been desensitized from being around Nightmare Moon to not be getting at least a few bad vibes from being the only pony in the dungeon.
Well, Chrysalis is still a pretty evil character so the world hasn't gone completely insane... although having her be a crazy nympho was pretty funny too.
Who else thinks that Chrissy is going to get addicted to the power trip that comes with being a DM and takes Ponies and Castles back to the hive after all this????
Will Bandaid escape? Will Chrystalis suceed in her devious plans to seduce Nightmare? And what of Twilight and Blue blood? Find out next time! There will be drama.
Heartbreaks. 
And all the other mushy luvy duvy stuff that is in this stories future
DONT MISS IT 
1754708
Alcohol and sleep deprivation.
This is the best idea ever.
After all what has my liver or brain cells ever done for me?
ZOMG...
images.t-nation.com/forum_images/a/8/a80cc_ORIG-its_a_tarp.jpg
Cock block
. You really are evil.
I'm gonna do some predicting here.
- Chrysalis will really enjoy Ponies and Castles
- The changeling guards will really fall in love with Nightmare's guards
- Blueblood wished for the perfect pair of indestructible ear muffs
- At some point, there will be a musical number, likely from Miss Saigon
- Peirs Morgan will continue to act insufferable
- Celestia will take off the stupid costume and show that she is, in fact, Robert Frost
-
I'll stop with the weird jokesWell I have to say, that I was not expecting it to go this way, but all things considered this will be hilarious.
That medic's a spy!
I'm a bigger of Dark Horsey, myself.
You always update at like, midnight... What is up with that?
I wanna play ponies and castles.
1754694
Crows? I think you mean ravens.
Or wait, Crows would be circling a battlefield long before buzzards arrived. Okay, nvm.
1754810
Someone needs to roll a bluff check in the next chapter and then make a joke about how maybe they should do it on Bandaid seeing as he's acting funny.
1754838
Oh dear, that can't be good
So sleepy . . . but, update.
Chrysalis, I don't think you quite understand what you are messing with here. This is going to blow up in your face SPECTACULARLY!
Nightmare Moon is rather fond of her Nurse and roughing him up and taking his place is going in invoke divine wrath. I doubt Celestia will be pleased either.
1754838 Oh god, I can see it now. "Hello, my children! I return, bearing love, and a great game!" *Holds up rulebook* "PONIES AND CASTLES!" *Changelings cheer*
Gm is painful
Dang it! I was starting to trust Chrissy (or at least like her a little) and then she went and abused poor trusting Bandaid
Somepony needs to kick her upside her thorax, the big meanie
1754694
Not every time,.., ok everytime in history, but we are trying to change.
1755061
I already am a fan of P&C, lol.
-Ambassador of the Changelings,
Dopple Ganger
Calling it now: Chrysalis is a crap Game Master and that clues everyone in that something is amiss
On another note... anyone want to make/play Ponies and Castles
1754609 every time and only when im gona go to sleep its almost like they are doing it so that i can't sleep at night...
1754666
who are the other contestants?
1754666 Indeed!
Though I haven't played DD&D and have next to no knowledge on the game, I'm gonna go ahead and say that Not-Bandaid saying that having more than one class in party is redundant is BS.
Paladins are OP and your party should have nothing but Paladins in it!
1754957
*Snicker*
Nicely done.
1755183
Similar forsight, doth I see with.
1754654
DUDE! That comment is the funniest one I've seen tonight, if only because it's so true.
1755427
While I have never played the game before, I can see a major flaw in your reasoning. In fact, here's a nice little example.
Your party encounters Holy Wyrms.
Because your party consists only of Paladins, you cannot use your skills/magic.
1755054
Considering she's fed on a civilian pony within Equestrian borders (which earlier was non grata), kidnapped a civilian, and fed (through manipulation) on one of the rulers of said country, I'd be surprised if she even HAS a hive to return to after this. That's at least three counts of treaty-breaking.
1754609
I just noticed this... your username and mine share a word. Do you happen to be bilingual?
1754708>>1754887
Can I get in on the action too?
1754871
Next time on,
SPIKEBALL Z!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!
You can have a party with multiple Palies. Once they can cast spells, one can dump heals in all of his spell slots while the other focuses on buffs and together they can cover for a lack of cleric!
I was the Paladin for my party (3.5ed) and I did more healing than our cleric(cleric left after a few sessions and we hated him(before he left)) I saved my friends so many times with lay hands and the lvl 1 magic spell "cure light wounds". All of my lvl1 spell slots were occupied with "cure light wounds", because we ARE going to get injured and its better to save Lay Hands for when things are getting hairy so you can bring someone back up to a healthy number.
Heck, one of the wizards (we had two) ran around with a medkit (and frequently used it) because adventuring is a dangerous business.
You gotta treat that arrow in your knee quickly, before it becomes septic and you become a nameless gaurd.
Because this webcomic is relevant
I hope the real Bandaid gets some action in the end from NMM
1755556
Let's put it this way. If they're "holy" as you put it, they're not going to try and kill the paladins. Concept being that holy divine-oriented beings, rather than profane divine-oriented beings, are likely to discuss matters with those who follow the same path. A paladin pretty much never has a reason to raise a weapon against a sacred entity, and likewise would said entity not randomly attack the paladin. Attacking an innocent, Good being would taint either party and they would no longer be quite so holy. Unless there was sufficient reason... technically a paladin can burn down an orphanage if it's for the greater good.
Or we can use our Find the Temple nuke and blow up several miles of countryside because goddamn that's awesome.
1755427 D&D tends to try to make it where you need a mix, and considering only 4 is playing ya having redundant classes can cause issues for the team. It when you got over 4 that it is less harmful.....my nerd is showing
1755632
Lack of effective meatshields was the imbalance in the last campaign I played.
Our barbarian, fighter and paladin all dropped out of the game after 2-3 sessions.
Which left a Zen archer, Inquisitor, Wizard, and my Sorcerer.
Conspiracy theorists are less paranoid then we were.
And somehow my sorcerer ended up being the source of utility/esoteric spells. A strange reverse with the wizard who loaded for bear with blasting.
Grease and Black Tentacles saved our lives so many times.
Jesus chrysalis. How can you be that stupid? Nightmare will have her head for this
1755710
Best sentence ever!
Understandable though since your entire party consists of low hit die classes that all wear wet paper as armor.
I feel terrible for your enemies now (I dont know what either spell does but, just those names...)
Were your enemies Japanese school girls?