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defender2222

Joined August 2012
1,277 followers

Stories (13)

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Princess Luna is bored.

She spent a 1000 years on the moon and while she is happy to be back to her old self (even if she knows her evil scheme would have worked if it weren't for those meddling mares!) her sister refuses to let her do anything fun. .

The Princess of the Moon is fed up! She is going to go on an adventure! She is going to find Queen Chrysalis and punch that bug in the flank! And along the way she is going to fight bears, fall in love, explore strange worlds and everything else all the guide books say should happen on an adventure.

Too bad her sister (The ever calm and collected Celestia) has decided to tag along and bring their niece (the sex-crazed Cadence), nephew-in-law (the sane and rational Shining Armor) and brother (the grumpy OC/Oceanic Creature Tydal) along for the ride.

What happens when the gods go on a road trip? Chaos, insanity, and mayhem, of course!

(This is the spiritual sequel to "The Many Secret Origins of Scootaloo". While you don't need to read that story to enjoy this one, it wouldn't hurt to give it a glance to understand why many of the characters are the way they are).

TVtropes' Page Can be found here: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/TheGodSquad

The sequel, The God Squad: Equestria's Most Wanted, will be out soon.

First Published
15th Oct 2012
Last Modified
5th Mar 2013

Comments ( 1,882 )

#1 · Chapter 1 · 92w, 5d ago · · ·

Ladies and Gentlemen... The God Squad.

If you can't tell yet, this story is going to be in a similar vein as 'The Many Secret Origins of Scootaloo' but have its own style. There will be an actual narrative and story arcs but the characters (such as Cadence) are based on what happened in "Scootaloo'. I would say this story happened roughly 2 weeks after the events of 'The Many Origins'.

This chapter is a double size one but for the most part the chapters will be 2000 to 3000 words long with several chapters making up a story arc.

Think of this as if My Little Pony was created by  Adult Swim with a dash of Monty Python.

(Note: Yes, I will still work on the Amber Apple but I want to get back to comedy so I am going to alternate which stories I post as the days go on till Faith and Doubt is finished.)

#2 · Chapter 1 · 92w, 4d ago · · ·

How can you add Absurdism to Retro-Postmodern Deconstructionism?:rainbowhuh:

Doesn't matter, I'll still read it.

#3 · Chapter 1 · 92w, 4d ago · · ·

Yes, YES!

#4 · Chapter 1 · 92w, 4d ago · · ·

In your head cannon where do the changelings live

#5 · Chapter 1 · 92w, 4d ago · · ·

Does Luna still think Twilight is her daughter?:rainbowhuh:

#6 · Chapter 1 · 92w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1443935

That will be covered later on.

>>1444050

Yes, but that will be addressed later and won't be a major plotpoint for this story.

#7 · Chapter 1 · 92w, 4d ago · · ·

So, the Sisters and Tydal are off on a road-trip to Ponyville... via the Changeling Wastes, most likely by accident.  In fact, I'm going to make a prediction and bet that it will be Celestia who manages to divert them to the Wastes by some impossible mischance ("I'll teleport us to the Library... oops, no that should have been turnwise, not widdershins...").  Meanwhile, poor Shining is being dragged along as the group's Zeppo and, possibly, token sane stallion ("Hey, Chrys! Long time no see!" "'Bout time you turned up you worthless bit of male horseflesh! Finally come to live up to your responsibilities?" "Responsibilities?" "Foalcare payments for three-thousand!" "Hey, you mind-controlled me! You should have been the one to remember to use protection!").

Oh, Luna? The reason that Twilight gets to have all the fun adventures and you only get to be in three or four episodes (and the last time only as a one-line extra) is because she is the main character.  She even gets to sing the theme tune! So, until you've got a show whose theme tune you get to sing, this is just the way things have to be.

Now I want to hear Tabitha St. Germain (Luna's VA) singing "The God Squad". :pinkiecrazy:

I'm also wondering if Wall Breaker IV is a member of the Pie family?

#8 · Chapter 1 · 92w, 4d ago · · ·

Well.  Looks like my brain is going to be melted due to this awesomness.  Lemme get my cider.  Thanks for the fic!

#9 · Chapter 1 · 92w, 4d ago · · ·

I didn't think it needed a sequel but oh we'll why not watch the strangest family in Equestria go on an adventure :pinkiehappy:

#10 · Chapter 1 · 92w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1444631

It is a spiritual sequel/Spinoff. It takes things set up in "The Many Secret Origins" but it follows its own path. No crack stories, no twilight searching for the truth... instead it will be a road trip comedy about what happens when gods decide to explore Equestria.

#11 · Chapter 1 · 92w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1444642 will their be any weird Family Drama like in Origins??? Cant Twilight tag along? Shed probably go insane half way through their journey thought :twilightangry2:  on second thought best not take her :rainbowderp:

#12 · Chapter 1 · 92w, 4d ago · · ·

:pinkiegasp: Oh buck! A nymphomanic, a bored teenager, a stickler, a warmonger, and one normal out of the whole lot? This is gonna be real good. :rainbowlaugh:

#13 · Chapter 1 · 92w, 4d ago · · ·

Oh. My. God. Let the good times roll. Wait, which one is the straight man? They all seem crazy.

#14 · Chapter 1 · 92w, 4d ago · · ·

Cannot read now, shall do so LATER!

#15 · Chapter 1 · 92w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1438893

A hilarity filled road trip to kill the Changeling Queen?

By the way, do you imagine someone's voice when you're writing Tydal's lines? If yes, then who? Just out of curiosity.

#16 · Chapter 1 · 92w, 4d ago · · ·

This sounds like fun, the powerful yet crazy god family of Equestria out on a road trip.

#17 · Chapter 1 · 92w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1445970

Optimus prime :derpytongue2:

#18 · Chapter 1 · 92w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1445970

Some have said they hear Gandalf the Gray, and originally it was Leonidas from 300... now I see it as a mix of the two: the old wisdom of Gandalf and the fury of Leonidas.

#19 · Chapter 1 · 92w, 4d ago · · ·

Ah yes, Wall Breaker the Fourth. A good way of adding more strangeness to an already funny fic.

Also, the title is "Broken Pilot"? Well, it is the "pilot" episode, and eh, logic is broken. I like this.

#20 · Chapter 1 · 92w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1446950

Interesting. But this is also kind of awkward for me because I've been imagining Tydal with the Old Spice Guy's voice. :twilightblush:

#21 · Chapter 1 · 92w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1447372

Broken Pilot is also a VERY inside joke: a local band in the town I grew up in had that as their name.

For those that are interested, here is a bit of info about Tydal's kingdom: Lord Tydal is King of the Capricorns, who makes their home on the shores of Equestria and rule the Mareatine (the great western ocean) from Tydal's Keep, a massive fortress/castle that borders Equestria's western shores near the Smokey Mountains. The Mareatine stretches very far across the world and Tydal is master of several islands: Luna's Landing, Celestia's Refuge, Coral's Keep (a replica of Tydal's Keep but made of pink coral), and Misty's Fortress (a fog-covered island and home to The Great Games, Misty's tournament of warriors). Since capricorns are aquatic and can breath both air and water, all their cities save  the islands are found below the waves. The original capital of the Mareatine was Merida's Palace (named after Tydal's wife, the immortal capricorn queen Merida, goddess of the sea floor) but Tydal made his home in Tydal's Keep when Celestia and Luna were sent to live with him.

Before he was returned to live after coming down with a bad case of 'turned to stone', the Mareatine was very dangerous to sail. Now that the God of the Sea has returned, the ocean is passable... but only to those that have Tydal's favor.

Also, a bit about the family tree of The God Squad:

All the divine beings, including Discord, Tydal, Celestia, Luna, and Cadence come from the same mother (aka The Creator of Tau Sunflare). Blueblood is Celestia's adopted nephew (long story that will be explained soon) and Cadence is of course married to Shining Armor. Twilight Sparkle may or may not be Luna and Discord's lovechild... the jury is still out.

Tydal is married to Queen Merida, who came from another world and was turned into a capricorn and made the goddess of the sea floor. They have two children: Coral, the Pinkie Pie of the capricorn race and Tydal's heir in magic, and Coral's twin sister Misty, Tydal's heir in battle and war.

Finally, for those wondering timeline wise, this story will take place between the events of Season 2 and 3.

#22 · Chapter 1 · 92w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

“All the stallions in my family since my great grandfather have been named Wall Breaker, Princess. I am the 4th Wall Breaker.”

:facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof:

Loving the story so far though, you actually had me laughing quite a bit, especially with nympho Cadence at the end!

#23 · Chapter 1 · 92w, 4d ago · · ·

“-and then they made me their chief.” Celestia blinked, tilting her head.

Haha! Funny Pirates of the carribean reference.

“Are we getting cupcakes?!” Cadence squealed, popping up behind Shining Armor (she had been taking Interdimensional Teleportation classes from Pinkie Pie for the last 4 weeks).

“Yes, would you like to come?” Celestia said.

“Oh would I!” Cadence giggled, clapping her hooves together. “I love cupcakes…”

“You do know that cupcakes is not a sexual act, right?” Luna asked. “We are talking about the pastry.”

“Oh…” Cadence frowned before perking up. “Can I use them during sex?”

"Yeah! You can set them on your puss!y(no-no word Lol) and make Shining eat off of it." Luna said a playful tone in her voice.

"I have to try that!" Cadence said.

"Luna! You've ruined me!" Shining screamed, horrified.

Where the conversation could have gone, had Luna been more playful.

#24 · Chapter 1 · 92w, 4d ago · · ·

This needs a second comedy tag.

#25 · Chapter 1 · 92w, 3d ago · · ·

ROFLOL:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

#26 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 2d ago · · ·

This chapter really gets things going and lets you see how the characters are going to be. The silliness, the insanity, the fast banter and the mocking... the characters are being developed.

#27 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 2d ago · · ·

Poor Wet Blanket. He's going to take so much abuse over the course of this story.

#28 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 2d ago · · ·

This will be really funny/awkward when Twilight recognizes them, but no one believes her when she tries to tell the others.

Poor Shining and Twilight, one of the few sane ponies left (though the stretching thing may prove that Shining is losing his grip on sanity as well):ajsleepy:

#29 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1455765

To a crazy man we are all insane.

#30 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 2d ago · · ·

Okay, firstly, I'm adopting Night Dancer, Sunny Skies and maybe even Hot Lovin' as the alicorns' "Civilian Secret Identities" in all my under-development MLP stories as of now. I can see Cadance explaining it to a face-hoofing Twilight in a semi-serious or even entirely serious story already! Thanks for that, brother! :pinkiehappy:

Secondly, as parodies go, this is a rib-tickler.  I especially appreciate poor Shining Armour's fate to be sanity in a world of the insane.  If only he bothered to talk to Tidal, he'd realise that he's sane too (at least as sane as a guy who fathered Princess Coral and then spent several years involved in her upbringing can be).  Luna...? Well, how sane would you be after having had your consciousness merged with a multi-quadrillion tonne lump of inert silicates for a millennia? She's allowed to be... er... eccentric.

I love how Lois Lane couldn't see past the glasses.  No matter what the universe, the glasses work... and she is the least perceptive person or pony ever to have lived.

#31 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 2d ago · · ·

Let the madness continue, enjoyed the interaction of Plotdump with the cast especially Tydal.

#32 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 2d ago · · ·

Ho ho!  Is this a little jab at those 'Luna goes for revenge against the Changelings and ends up broken because they have special mind powers they obviously forgot they had during the invasion and she's wayyyy to weak-willed and helpless to stop Chrysalis from deceiving/controlling her mind' stories that I hate so much because they make as much sense as Dragon Ball GT?  :pinkiecrazy:

#33 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1455805

I didn't even realize such stories existed. This is more mocking the fact that she is hardly featured, so Luna is now getting her own 'show' and cast of characters.

#34 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 2d ago · · ·

Hot Loving and Night Dancer need to be shipped now!  >.>;;;; Ummm nvm,  Dude I am smiling so big here at work.  Thank you for this.  I am surprised you didn't go for "I'm from Jersey" stichk for "Steve" but Detroit works too.

#36 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 2d ago · · ·

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

that was... okay... :pinkiecrazy:

#37 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1455820

Since I live very close to Detroit I like to use Detrot as my 'referenced' city for whenever I need to mention a town.

Detrot is of course famous for their Pegasi hockey team, the Red Wings (which had a game called off due to orgy thanks to Cadence) and are the number one maker of wagons.

#38 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 2d ago · · ·

The question here is if Shining acknowledges his castrated status, or if he's not and everyone simply thinks he is... (including his wife).

#39 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 2d ago · · ·

I've been waiting for this since you mentioned it during "The Many Origins of Scootaloo" and so far it has been worth the wait.  You're off to an excellent start!  :pinkiehappy:

#40 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1455925

The better question is if anyone realizes what castrated means.

#41 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1455946 - Well... the same phrase can be used to describe both states.

#42 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1455651 OI! You stole my name :twilightangry2:

#43 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1455881

Well now that makes sense.  Of course having Hot Loving going to any type of physical sport is bound to result in an orgy.  Mental note to take Cadence to a professional wrestling event.  Watch as hillarity ensues.

#44 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1455811  Yeah, such stories exist.  And they always give the changelings excessive psychic mind-control powers and far greater intelligence than they ever showed in the episodes (such as twisting the mind of the Princesses to her will, toying with their thoughts, playing psychological and philosophical mind games)... and then totally ignore the rather obvious fact that THEY LOST in the episodes, never explaing how or why, with such overwhelming advantages, Chrysalis acted like an idiot repeatedly.

Basically, any author giving the Changelings that much mental power both magically and intellectually, needs to completely retcon the episodes because it's inconceivable that the Changelings would have lost the first time around in that case.

Not to mention that were the Changelings that great a threat and somehow the ponies still managed to stop them, the Princesses would have IMMEDIATELY followed the repulsion with a devastating attack to finish them off.  I don't believe they would even accept surrender.  Would you believe the word of a shapeshifter who can screw with your thoughts and perceptions of reality?  NO!  Of course not!  No creature with half a brain would (except maybe PETA members, but they only have 1/3 of a brain... :trollestia: )  

Anyway, the point is that those stories ALWAYS without exception so far that I have read invariably end up ignoring simple logical arguments or making the Changelings overpowered and hyper-intelligent while dumbing down the ponies severely and making both Celestia and Luna little more than weak-willed infants.

It's a completely unjustified mismatch all for the sake of making an emo story involving Luna being mentally raped... often repeatedly... and being too stupid to take advantage of the logical and hypocritical flaws in Chrysalis' attempts at subvertive pseudophilosophy.

#45 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1456431

Huh... well that will make what is going to happen when the cast gets to finally face the Changelings all the more funny.

#46 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1456451  Will Chrysalis be like, "Ok, what if we promise to make draining your love feel like a 6-month, never-ending orgasm."

Dash wingboner's instantly, "SIGN ME UP!!!"  :rainbowwild::rainbowwild:

:trollestia:

#47 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 2d ago · · ·

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

#48 · Chapter 1 · 92w, 2d ago · · ·

I lost it at Wall Breaker's brief re-appearance.

Wait, no... I lost it at the beginning. :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

#49 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 2d ago · · ·

I have no regrets about reading this!

#50 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 1d ago · · ·

Sunny Skies, eh? Is that a reference to Sunny Skies All Day Long (Which also involves Celestia and the name Sunny Skies, for those who don't know)?

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