Alright, so the last fic was a bust. What was supposed to be awesome and gory, well… wasn't. A FLUKE I SAY! Today's horrortastic production focuses on one Rarity, whose love for clothes will drive her to vile depths! She'll… um… Make a meat suit or something. Wait, aren't meat suits now socially exceptable ever since Lady Gaga did it...? Never mind! I refuse to let pop culture jokes invade my beautiful story! Now, who'll be the next victim…?
Author: Run script mode! Spike!
Spike: Yes author?
Author: #1 assistant, fetch me my classy victim spinner!
Spike: Right away sir! (Runs off for spinner.)
Author: Now, how to freak people out… A Rarity creating odd plush dolls of other ponies? Stitching the clothing she made directly onto the skin so the victim can't take it off? Meh. I'll discuss it with Rarity during the opening exposition. She may have a good idea.
Spike: Your classy spinner sir!
Author: Thanks kid. Have a lapis lazuli. Wrote it into existence myself. Now let's give it a spin… (Spins spinner) And it's… Rainbow Dash? Again? Well, I guess there's going to be repeats. Eh. Whatever. Okay, get ready for paragraph mode! Prepare flowery descriptions! And… Start story!
Rainbow Dash was a mess. That's to be expected of course when you've just finished knocking down a barn. Particularly a barn that Applejack had asked Rainbow Dash to destroy. All the dust and grime had matted in her hair, creating dirty clumps, and her mane was mussed up, less like a beautiful rainbow and more akin to a sonic rainboom. As a whole, she seemed to be just a tad bit darker than she normally was, going from a light blue to a light blue with a brown tinge.
"Well I'll be!" Applejack came out from a nearby ditch, as the amount of debris flying around made it dangerous to stand in the open. "You were so thorough, all me and Big Macintosh'll need to do is pick up the pieces!"
"Well," the rainbow pony grinned. "What did you expect? I'm Rainbow Dash! Anything I do, I do awesomely!"
Applejack laughed. "Oh, you are so full of yourself! Well, thanks for taking care of this for me! I'll make sure to send you a satchel-full of some of my finest apples." Rainbow Dash couldn't help but lick her lips at the thought of some of Sweet Apple Acres' high quality products. "It's the least I can do for ya, Rainbow."
"Got any other barns you need destroying? I'm still raring to go!"
Applejack couldn't help but smile at Rainbow Dash's eager enthusiasm. "Sorry, but that's all I got for ya. Now do yourself a favor and take a bath! You're an absolute mess!"
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "Alright, alright. See you later Applejack!" And off like a rocket Rainbow Dash flew, with Applejack waving her off. Truth be told, Rainbow Dash didn't mind she was dirty. Actually, she was proud of it. Dirt and grime were like temporary scars, they proved you put in a hard days work, and showed you were tough enough to get the job done. But… a bath would be nice right about now, Rainbow Dash thought. A dirty wing could hardly perform the tricks that would land her a role in -her heart skipped a beat- the Wonderbolts!
Rainbow Dash landed outside the beauty salon, where anypony could get a quick, relaxing bath. And that's when Rarity stepped out, nearly bumping into Rainbow Dash. "Oh my, sorry dear-" But Rarity stopped short when she saw the condition that Rainbow Dash was in. She gaped in astonishment at the pony that was currently the polar opposite of everything she stood for. "Rainbow Dash! What happened to your wonderful hair? And that mane! I've seen squirrel tails cleaner that that rag!"
Rainbow Dash snickered at her friend's overreaction. "Oh, I just got it a bit dirty. No biggie."
"No biggie!" Rarity shouted. A few passing ponies turned their heads. "Rainbow Dash, beauty is one of the important things in the world! Your hair is part of what defines who you are! You have to care for it! Your pelt, it's… it's… Like your identity!"
Rainbow Dash snorted. "C'mon Rarity, looks aren't everything. I mean, I barely take care of this bunch of fluff, and I haven't lost my 'identity' or anything. Just chill!"
Rarity was giving Rainbow Dash an odd look now. And as the seconds piled on, Rainbow Dash began to feel uncomfortable. "So…" Rarity whispered. "You don't think looks are important?" Her eye twitched. "How would you like it if someone came along and plucked that gorgeous skin right off?"
Rainbow Dash laughed nervously. "I'm sure that would feel pretty weird, heh. Good one, Rarity!"
But Rarity wasn't listening to Rainbow Dash. She was reaching into her bag, and after some rummaging, brought out a bottle of what seemed to be perfume. "You simply MUST smell this." She said, though it came out as more of a command than a suggestion.
Rainbow Dash, leaned forward warily, and sniffed at the bottle, and jerked back when Rarity sprayed it in her face. "This stuff smells awful!" cried Rainbow Dash, scratching at her nose with a hoof, as though that could ward off the scent. It didn't. The smell seemed to stick around, and it felt as though it was choking Rainbow Dash.
"Funny," Rarity commented dryly. "I use that perfume all the time. See what you're missing? Come along," The malicious smile that Rarity gave Rainbow Dash was the last thing she saw before blacking out. And the final words of, "I'm going to show you how important beauty is."
Rainbow Dash slowly regained consciousness. As she opened her eyes, she saw another pair of eyes staring back at her. With a cry of surprise, Rainbow Dash jumped away from the figure, and it did the same. Breathing heavily out of fright, Rainbow Dash stared at the other pony, which she now recognized as her reflection in a large mirror which stretched all the way to the ceiling. As Rainbow Dash regained her bearings, she found she was surrounded by room high mirrors; a small, octagonal room where the walls were all reflective.
"Like it?" Rarity's voice echoed, coming from seemingly everywhere at one. "All the mirrors are one way, so even though you can't see me, I can see you just fine. Also, did I mention there's no way out?" A laugh reverberated through the room.
Rainbow Dash began to panic. "Ha ha," she laughed nervously. "You're always the kidder Rarity…" That was hardly true, and Rainbow Dash knew it. "Can I get out now?"
"But the fun's hardly started!" Rarity's voice cried out again. "If you look in the mirror, you'll notice I cleaned you up while you were busy being unconscious." And so she was. Not a single speck of dust lay on Rainbow Dash's blue pelt. Not only that, but her hair was brushed, and her mane was perfectly combed, not a single strand out of place. "Held in place by industrial strength hair gel, of course. You know, I've always admired your beautiful coat, Dashie darling. And that smooth skin… I would love it to be my own. I'd adore having hair like that. You might say I'd even kill." Rainbow Dash gulped. There's gotta be a way out of here, she thought. Look for a handle or something! "When I mentioned identity earlier, Rainbow, I wasn't kidding. Why, if I had that beautiful, beautiful coat of yours, I'd practically be you. In fact, how would anyone be able to tell the difference. For all anypony would know, it'd be you running around, and not some other pony in disguise..."
Rainbow Dash let out a nervous laugh. "Ain't that something?" she said, feeling along the mirror walls for some sort of handle. Rainbow Dash couldn't help but think that she seemed to be laughing nervously a lot today.
"Indeed. Fluttershy said the same thing. The funny thing about you two is that both of you don't mind getting… dirty." That last word was said with a hiss. "Her and her filthy animals… It drives me CRAZY how such beautiful skin could go mistreated. Why, if I could only have that pelt for myself, I'd make sure it stayed neat and tidy."
There were no handles! There really WAS no way out!
"Fluttershy thought I was being a bit too much of a neat freak for my own good! Hah! I showed her! And I must say... Her beautiful hair made for great clothing…"
And then it dawned on Rainbow Dash. And she knew she had to get out. NOW. "Let me go!" She yelled, and slammed her hoof against the mirror in front of her. To Rainbow's shock, it turned out that the window was actually a door that opened outwards. The handle she'd been looking for must've been on the other side! But then a new horror filled Rainbow Dash; in front of her, on a rack, was Fluttershy's skin, neatly laid out as though it was the newest fashion wear. Pink mane and all. Rainbow Dash screamed, her mind trying to shut out the reality that presented itself to her.
"Is it really that dreadful?" Rainbow Dash now noticed Rarity, who had a concerned look on her face.
"Dreadful?!" cried Rainbow Dash. "You monster, it's…" And then she took another look at Fluttershy's skin.
Rarity walked up to her. "Monster? Even Fluttershy didn't think it was that bad when I showed it to her."
Rainbow Dash walked over to what she'd previously thought was Fluttershy's skin. On closer examination, it wasn't that at all. What it really was a nearly full-bodied outfit with a design obviously based on Fluttershy's delicate appearance, with an airy feel to it.
"That's…" Rainbow Dash muttered.
Fluttershy joined her by the outfit. "Isn't it fabulous? I told you Fluttershy made for great clothing! A few diamonds and this will be all the rage in Canterlot! I had an idea recently, you see. I noticed how natural beauty is sometimes the greatest beauty there is (Though a gorgeous gown always helps to supplement that beauty!), so I thought, well, why not try incorporating that feeling of au natural into my clothing line? And… Voila! I'm making a whole line of clothing based after my five most esteemed companions in Ponyville! What do you think?"
Rainbow Dash stood in shock for a moment. Then she began to laugh. "Geez, Rarity, you scared the hay out of me! First I'm talking to you in the street, next thing I know I wake up in a house of mirrors!"
Rarity flashed a smile, looking embarrassed. "Yes, sorry about early. I was a bit angry with your lack of care concerning fashion, and when I tried to get you to smell some of my favorite perfume, I by mistakenly grabbed a bottle of a potion I got from Zecora. As for waking up in the room of mirrors, well… I knew when you woke up, you'd want to see how fabulous of a cleaning job I did! Well, I thought you'd be excited..."
"You kidding me? You did an awesome job! I'm not going to need a bath for weeks! I've never been so clean in my life! But you said I couldn't escape from the room. What's up with that?"
"Darling, I was joking. Didn't you hear me laugh?"
"Oh, duh! Sorry, Rarity!" How could Rainbow Dash ever think bad thoughts about her good friend? "So how's the 'Rainbow Dash' style coming along?"
"Oh I can't wait for you to see the work I've-"
Author: Stop! Switch to script! Dear Princess Celestia, what am I doing wrong?
Rarity: Don't be too hard on yourself, dear. After all, it is difficulty to fully encompass the beauty and grace that is Rarity!
Author: Correction, it's not what I did wrong; it's what you did wrong. What the hell happened in the end? You and me discussed before hand you were going to be using the victim's skin as the clothing, not just basing the clothing off the victim's appearance! You know how awesomely gory that would have been?
Rainbow Dash: (dryly) No, tell us.
Author: Oh, um… I suppose an… 8 out of 10? Maybe…? Come on, you're a rip-off of Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs! It's foolproof!
Rarity: Yes, well, I know that we discussed all this before the performance, but then I got to thinking about it, and I came to the conclusion that it really doesn't suit my character.
Author: Crap, not the character argument again… This whole 'staying true to the original character' is going to keep biting me in the ass, isn't it?
Rarity: I mean, I can't stand a teensy bit of dirt. What makes you think I'd be fine with blood spurting all over the place? I could get some on my precious mane!
Author: …Huh. I'll admit that's a decent point...
Rarity: Also, why would I ever use pony skin as a material to make clothes? Even if I was 'insane', wouldn't I still have all my knowledge about making clothes? Skin is hardly elegant, and though fur is long lasting the skin is not. And this isn't even fur! You don't use pony hair for clothing!
Author: What do you want me to do? Make a gore story about not being gory?
Rarity: In any case, I decided that instead of doing such a ghastly thing as turn skin into clothing, I'd develop a new, highly fashionable line of clothing instead! I call it, 'Equestria Girls'! I've already set up a fashion show if you want to come! Here's your ticket!
Author: I'm so happy for you. And I'm sure the readers love being screwed out of a gory story… Oh, and I'll think about showing up. Maybe.
Rainbow Dash: And I know I kind of brought up this point last chapter, but why is it, in your version of the story, Rarity is just carrying poison perfume around?
Author: Hell, I don't know, maybe…
Rarity: And what's with that room of mirrors? Why would I ever have one when it's far more efficient to use a half circle like any regular clothing store?
Author: Hey, half-circles aren't exactly creepy…
Rainbow Dash: And why am I going to a beauty salon to get cleaned off? My house is a freaking cloud, aka made of pure water molecules.
Author: Look, if you're gonna nitpick…
Twilight: And if I may interject, skin naturally dries and withers over time, at least considering the lack of tools to preserve said skin…
Author: NO! Everyone just SHUT UP! Just… (sigh)… End story…
Once again guys, I'm so sorry this didn't go as planned. Ponies. What're you going to do with them? Anyway, the good news is I still have a good four ponies to work with. Tune in next time for the insanities of Rainbow Dash! Please review, but only so you can tell these stupid ponies that no one likes these wimpy endings! I mean, everyone wants gore, right? Right?