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What if the Elements of Harmony didn't imprison Discord in a stone tomb? What if he became good rather than evil? The Elements have erased his memory to a time when he was good. He must come and understand what chaos he has caused as well as heal his friendship with Celestia and Luna.
Great idea! Though i suggest you should get someone to look over your work before you put it on here. Also, could you put the speech of different ponies/creatures on seperate lines? Its much easier to tell who is talking that way. In general: good work and keep going!
Spelling errors abound.
Seems kinda rushed.
Twilight seems a little out of character. She's really not one to not believe the princess. If she says he's good I would think she would at least give him the benefit of a doubt. Also the others seem really overly accepting given what happened to them all. Espesally Rarity. I mean they were just making fun of the Tom situation (which seemed out of place as well as it was kind of a dick move to make jokes they agreed not to talk about again and that she had no control over) And their all just "Hi. What's up Discord?" it all seemed really weird and like I wasn't even reading them as their actual characters.
Celestia...almost seemed like she was kind of a bitch....I mean come on. She rejected him without what seemed like a modicum of emotion and then take a full 180 and is all OH NOOOOOOOooooo! It just seemed really ....meh. The whole confessing part needs to be redone heavily in my opinion.
Really? Discord freaked out like that because he was rejected and then went on to become the lord of chaos... Sorry it's just that it seems pretty shallow for the ends he went with his chaos and such. Also if he loved her so much why would he not even let up a little after she apologized.
All in all pretty much all the characters seem really shallow and almost out of character for all of them ( I don't mean Discord as his good self since that is part of the story only the confession and following rampage bit)
YBG Out - 
Thanks for the feedback, but do you notice the "Alternate Universe" tag? Plus, I plan to develop each of the mane six in their own chapters. Much of the feedback that you provided won't be in the story until later. If there are spelling and grammar errors, call me out on them, English is my second language. Again, I'll take this feedback and I'll improve it in the next chapter of this fic.
This seems like a great idea, but your writing is dragging the story down a bit. You're changing tenses a lot, going from past to present quite frequently. Also there are some occasions where multiple characters are speaking in the same paragraph and that can get very confusing for the reader.
The tense issue is fairly easy to fix, mostly it's just occasions where you are using *insert character name* says, instead of the past tense *insert character name* said. It makes the writing flow a lot better and just makes the whole story a more enjoyable experience.
Now please, don't take me as someone who is just poking a bunch of holes in your story. It's pretty good, and I'm sure it gets better. But fixing these errors will make it even better for everyone.
At times it seems pretty rushed, it'd be best if you spent some time at the beginning of a scene to describe the scenery. You know, paint a picture in the readers mind. I'll give you an example.
Out of the corner of his eye he saw Celestia flying towards the east while Luna lowered the moon. Celestia returned to her room and headed down to Discord’s room. Celestia signaled to the Royal Guards to let her into Discord's room. When she entered his room and saw he was out on the balcony, looking over the garden where he once was trapped in stone.
This is alright, but its a bit rushed. Try slowing it down a bit. Instead, try something like...
Catching a brief glimpse of white out of the corner of his vision, Discord turned to watch Celestia fly through the dark sky towards the east. Just above her he could see Luna's night being ushered away, the massive orb of white slowly making it journey towards the ground along with it's brilliant array of stars. Celestia returned to her room, and soon after left to go visit her old friend.
She signalled to the armoured pegasi outside his room, and after a quick salute they allowed her to enter. Celestia found the Draconequus on the balcony, leaning against the stone banister as he stared at the gardens with dread. The gardens where he had been trapped in stone for a thousand years.
Other than that, I'm enjoying this story! The flashback was really good and I really enjoyed the three immortal's conversing. I am eager to see what happens next.
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yay
*dances happily around room*
Poor Discord
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